chapter 2

after the death of there parents they must all run their own kingdoms and misfortune is coming

Chapter 2

In Bedros’s kingdom he ruled firmly creating a worthy army and leadership.

“Bedros my king we have news of an army coming,” said a soldier out of breath from rushing into the throne room. This was one of Bedros’s eagle soldiers.  He had a long sword, an eagle helmet, and a polished shield. All of this meant that he was at a very high rank.

 “Impossible we are the only kingdoms, there are no others, well except for...”

“I saw it with my own eyes my king”

 Bedros sighed then asked “Do my brothers and sisters know of this army?”

“No my king,”

“How much longer until the army arrives arrive?”

“About five months,”

“Alright warn my family and tell them the date. I’m  afraid  that the  peace  I hoped to  keep inside the  kingdoms  will be  tarnished.

 

  In Carissa’s kingdom she was out with another boy she had met.  It turns out that Carissa has the words sex and love mixed up. She went to a bar with him and well the rest just happened. But  don’t get confused about Carissa because if  there’s one  thing  she  doesn’t  do is have two at a time. Everyone  new  not to mess with Carissa if  she had  a  boyfriend unless  you wanted  spikes from  her  boots  in  your face. Carissa had a blacksmith and her designer make boots surrounded by spikes but fashionably.  “Carissa you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” Said the boy. “Is that so?” She leaned in to kiss him but she was interrupted by Bedros’s soldier.

“What does my brother want now?  Are you  here  to tell me I’m  not doing something  right  or that Cathy  needs  my help!” she  screamed  at  the soldier.

“My apologies  queen Carissa but your  bother has  sent  me  to  tell you that  an  army  is  on  its  way and it will  be  here in five months,” He said almost in a smart way. Carissa’s  face went into shock  for a  moment then  anger took over  and she  screamed in the bar  “Alright  I want every man  into combat  training now and one  woman  from  every  home  learning  how to shoot  a bow!” Everyone quickly obeyed Carissa out of fear and sprinted out of the bar. Carissa was now furious and fuming. The soldier got out their fast before she kicked him with those boots.  Now he was on the way to Nora’s kingdom.

At Nora’s kingdom she was practicing controlling her lightning because of how quick and random it was, so she was shooting at targets.  She was concentrating on her every move but  no  matter how  hard  she  tried she couldn’t  get a  clean shot,  but she wasn’t  like  Carissa and got  angry she  simply remained calm and  continued  to try. Nora was always the calm one oddly.  She also was very mysterious and you would never know what she would do next. One of the more artistic things about her was the she could create a deadly lightning show by dancing.

The soldier arrived at Nora’s castle and almost got hit by a lightning strike but reflected it with it sword to the wall. “Sorry soldier you came in at an unexpected time.  I was just practicing my shooting,” Nora said as she put her up.

“I accept your apology,” he smiled “I bring news from king Bedros. We have spotted an army coming and it will reach the kingdoms in five months’ time,” Nora sighed and put her head down then looked up at the soldier and said thank you and that was it. Next was Andreas.  Andreas was a very active reader and was very clever. But oddly his strongest talent was his temper.  When Andreas  got annoyed  he would  create  one of  the most deadly  infernos  across the land but over the years  he  has  been  controlling  it. When he read he read about the remarkable history of the world they lived in and he would analyze every word making sure to get every detail. One of the things that made Andreas strange was that he was very quiet and mostly only talked to his mother and father.

 The soldier walked into the library inside Andreas’s castle and he almost felt scared to speak to him while he was reading but he  wasn’t  so  he  said “King Andreas,  I  bring an  important  message from your brother Bedros,”  Andreas closed his book and looked at the soldier in question because Bedros never had any message for him before. “He wishes me to tell you that an army has been sighted and it will be here is five months,” Andreas now stood up out of his reading chair and escorted the soldier out in a kind matter and said thank you and showed no sign of worry. The Soldier now was to tell Cathy.

Cathy’s kingdom was stable thanks to the help of Carissa and Bedros.  Cathy was always the curious one and the one to question the truth. Cathy was blessed with looks  and  pure heart  but she was always  scared that  she  would  mess  up  in a relationship so she refused  any boy  who tried  to  love her. Then again she did like this boy that she had always saw out on the streets of the kingdom. She never actually knew who he was or what he did but she still liked him.

The soldier arrived at Cathy’s kingdom but she wasn’t in her castle she was in what the guard said her marble garden. When the soldier heard marble garden he became very confused so   then the guard escorted him to it. When the soldier arrived he was amazed at the crafted garden. The soldier got back on track and asked “Well were she”.  He gave a quick laugh and pointed to the sky. The soldier looked  up  to  see Cathy floating around  in the air   staring  over the castle  wall  and  to the beautiful sunset that was taking place across  the land  changing colors  every minute.

“My queen there is a soldier here to speak with you” said the guard as he walked away.

Cathy floated down then said “what news to you bring me soldier,”

“You  brother  sent me  to  tell you  that  an  army  is  coming and  it will be hear  in  five months,” Cathy gasped, and was about to fall to the ground but the soldier caught her before she did.

“Why must these things happen?  Why must we be the victims,” she whispered. 

Then he stood her up and told her “We will not always be victims. Good bye my queen and you should start to ensemble an army,” Then he walked away and was going to Zale’s kingdom.

Zale was always the one that everyone messed with and Zale didn’t take it personal but he would get you back ten times worse than you got him. Zale was also always the brave one and would be up for any challenge. Zale was only fourteen but he ruled his kingdom very well and was very fair. That’s another thing; Zale was always the fairest of the six. Sometimes even when Zale was younger the king would ask Zale for his judgment, and often it was right.

When the soldier arrived at Zale’s castle the guards escorted him to the beach behind the castle to see Zale standing on a sill wave that he had created. “King Zale!” the guard screamed.  When  Zale  heard the guards  deep  and  loud voice he  lost his  concentration and he lost  control of  the  wave  and he  fell into it and   it dragged him to shore.

 When he stood up he was laughing and said “guard that was such fun why did you interrupt me?” Zale asked smiling. 

“Because this soldier has important news,” The guards face was bitter and his eyebrows low.

“So, what’s this news?” Zale said as he shook the water out of his blue hair.

“King Bedros wanted me to tell you that an army is coming and will be here in five months,”

“Ow,” his smile faded away “Well then I guess that means I’ll have to form an army,”

“Yes, that would be wise,” He started to walk away

“Wait does that mean that you’ll be fighting to?” asked Zale.

“Yes,” He said certainly as he walked away.

Author's Note

this is the time when you pick a favorite character..... and also i love brutal honesty so don't hold back or think it's rude. another thing is i know i need detail and i'll get there...... eventually.

Reviews

[Alisha Heistand]

Good Progress.....though one good thing would be to create a name for the soldier. This way, you won't need to say "on to..." It will just be "name went to....next." Just a thought.

[Redwater]

Getting better buddy! I love the idea in the end that you let us connect with the soldier throughout the chapter and then break us some when he says "Oh yeah, you are correct. I am risking my life for you". Work on that.

Advice?

Try new things, new ways of writing, new places to write, things to do while writing like eating something or having your favorite movie quietly playing in the background.
Keep checking your writing. Read it over again and again to make sure you are satisfied enough with it to be proud of it.
Try new words! Use a thesaurus or a dictionary.
DESCRIPTION! What did the sea smell like? Were there statues in the garden? The boy Carissa was with, was he a ginger? Details like this are very important when creating a story.

[Dez]

the end of your review made me laugh :).. "was he a ginger?" i'm going back right now to revise about all that stuff. you just give me better and better reviews... are you human?

[Redwater]

God I hope not...

[Dark Rider]

You need to work on your details some. It will make it more interesting if you had described the different Kingdoms a little better. But it is good as it is. I didn't get confused, nor did I lose interest, but details do make a difference if you want reviews. Anyway, I believe I am leaning towards Zale and Andreas as my favorite characters. Good job so far, but work on your details. :)

[Dez]

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