As of yet, untitled.

Very loosely based on a series of connected events in my past, through analogy. This is a fictitious story, and I'm using symbolism to translate actual events into a work of fiction and fantasy.

I was browsing through medications almost mindlessly, I already knew what I was going to get. When I finally arrived at the space where I should find my pharmaceuticals, it was empty. I reached out to touch the empty slot for the box. Nothing. I slid my hand to the back of the shelf, and there was still nothing. I was in the middle of expressing my annoyance verbally, when I was interrupted.

“Want some?” an unfamiliar voice asked me nonchalantly. I looked up at girl, appraising her value based on serveral various criteria. Blonde, intelligent, cynical, contemptuous, perfectly proportioned, and an interest in altering her brain chemically. Well she’s a f*****g ten! I thought as I reached out to take a box of cough medicine from her. We were standing in a dollar store, on aisle three, slightly slouched so as to avoid attention from the checkout counter. For me it was out of habit, but she was probably underaged. That meant she was more than likely stealing her fix, which was something I lost the taste for years back. “You’re not buying those, are you?” I asked, although it came out more like a statement. “Why’d you even ask if you knew?” she asked, skipping an entire line of dialogue. This could be what you’ve been looking for, I thought. You should ask her things. Like what?

“You’re welcome.” She said as she slid the contents of the box into her pocket. I had been thinking so intently about her, I failed to notice her even open the box.

Upon closer inspection, I realized her blonde was of course fake, and also accented with red. I took a moment to appreciate how it fell around her face, and the few strands that curled up to the corner of her carnation colored lips. Then I “zoomed in” on her eyes. She was wearing contacts, but they weren’t colored. So her green is natural I thought to myself. She was wearing baggy black pants, with little silver studs scattered over them seemingly at random. Under her plain tanktop, you could see her sportsbra. She didn’t have much up top, but that was more my type anyway. Actually, everything about her was starting to seem like “my type.”

I managed to mumble something that resembled thanks as she skirted off. I watched her walk away, and down the aisle. I noted how sure her steps were, and how gracefully she moved. With a body like that, a junkie should be, and would be stumbling over herself. She clearly wasn’t though. I tried to remember if her pupils were dilated, but that reminded me why I was in the store in the first place. I had what I was after.

I took my box to the counter and faked a small cough. The cashier was oblivious anyway, so it was wasted effort. When she ran the box across the scanner the machine beeped twice startling me. “You got some ID boy?” She asked accusingly. I didn’t even speak to her, I just pulled out my card and let her key my birthday into the machine. I gave her the money, took my bags and left, forgetting my change intentionally. I was hoping the girl from aisle 3 would still be in the lot, but when I reached the door my hope faded.

I could see there were no cars in the lot, so I deflated mentally, and physically, letting a long sigh escape slowly. I walked to the drink machine and bought a soda to wash down my pills. I sat down with my back against the machine and started opening the packages, popping each pill out one by one. This was tedious work, and the child safety measures had gotten tougher.

I began to hum along to a familiar tune while popping the pills out in rhythm, until I had popped out eight of them. Then I realized the music I was humming to had stopped, or had it existed at all? What tune was I humming? It was pointless. I’d already forgotten, and was too busy to waste effort trying to remember. I looked down at my pills.

Drugs are a very controversial subject. Some people believe they are demons of addiction, while some people depend on them for their very life. I was undecided, but I knew that I liked some drugs, and I planned to keep my favorites near me until I tired of them. Skittles weren’t my favorites, but they were cheap. I would rather trip on LSD, and I swear by marijuana. I’d tried ecstasy, coke, LSD, meth, crack, GHB, various types of prescriptions, and even over-the-counter cough meds. My favorites were the cough meds, pot, and acid, although I found it hard to turn down free ecstasy or cocaine when offered.

I gulped a mouthful of mountain-something and threw the pills in my mouth and swallowed hard, before I had a chance to gag. They went down smooth, for the first time in a while. I leaned my head back against the coke machine and closed my eyes, trying to envision her again. My mind’s eye seemed to see more vividly when I was “tripping.” The pills hadn’t taken effect yet, so again it was wasted effort.

I stood up and considered my walk home. I didn’t want to start the trek until my medication had taken effect, but it was already late. Late for what? I thought to myself. “Nothing” I answered aloud, the sound bringing my mind back to earth. Looks like it doesn’t matter anyway. Have fun Terrance. Clearly these pills had worked faster than I expected. I just mentally referred to myself, as if I wasn’t me, accidentally. It gave me a nagging feeling, but I was almost tripping already, so I let it go and began walking again. Had I been walking before? Which way?

I looked up and changed course to keep from colliding with someone. Not just someone, but her. “Aisle Three” I said, partially in greeting, partially in blame. I would have walked right into her if I hadn’t looked up. Even then I had already forgotten why I looked up.

“High?” she said, or asked. It took me a second to digest the double meaning of her greeting. She was saying “Hi”, but also asking if I was “high”.

“Are you going to tell me your name?” I asked. As I spoke, I could feel the trip setting in. I needed to concentrate hard if I wanted to remember anything that happened from that point on.
“It’s HaeLie” she said curtly, “With a capitol L.”

I wanted to ask her a lot of questions, but I didn’t want to seem like a creep. It didn’t really matter what I wanted though, because I wasn’t really in the driver’s seat. The chemicals were taking partial control, and I was forfeit to shyness anyway.

“HaeLie” I said aloud, “With a capitol L., You take yours yet?” I asked, but even as I did, I noticed her pupils. They were dilated to the point that all her iris consisted of, was a sliver of emerald green with tiny specks of brown. She read my eyes as I looked at hers.

“Why do you keep asking questions you know the answer to? It’s my turn to ask a question. What’s your name, Terrance?” She asked matter-of-factly.

“My name’s..” I started, but then I realized what she’d done. She saw me make the connection and burst into a fit of laughter. It was beautiful. I’ve always thought that laughter was almost magic in the same manner that music is almost magic. Her laughter was no exception, and the fact that I was tripping added to the beauty.

She stopped laughing abruptly, and stepped closer to me. She looked me over and I felt like she was appraising me the same way I’d done to her on aisle 3.

“Would you give up if you didn’t find it here? Or would you keep going?” she asked quietly.

I didn’t answer her question. What the f**k? I thought rather bluntly. How does she know to ask that? I wandered. There’s no way she actually read my mind. But tripping makes it easy to believe things you normally wouldn’t. This is a good thing and a bad thing. Then I noticed the situation presented an opportunity. I turned to her smugly, and echoed her words. “Why ask a question you already know the answer to?”

“But how could I know the answer?” she asked innocently, but I was now alert, albeit a little deluded.

“The same way you knew the question.” I replied smartly, thinking I’d one-upped her.

“The question comes from your past”, She explained, “The answer comes from your future. No one knows the future because it hasn’t happened yet.”

F**k! I thought. She has me on that one. “So you’re saying you know my past?” I asked, ignoring how slurred it sounded. I was definitely tripping. You’re just tripping, I thought slowly, putting events in perspective.

“Did I say that?” she asked, in a deliberately childlike voice. She likes to play I thought. She must be a very good guesser. Throughout the conversation we’d kept walking and were now behind the dollar store on some small side road. I looked around momentarily forgetting where I was. That happens with Skittles. That’s what we liked to call them. My memory reconnected and I remembered I was already walking the right way, but I’d forgotten where I was going by the time I remembered I was going the right way to get there. I stopped abruptly, remembering that HaeLie was still walking behind me. Maybe I didn’t remember, and I just heard her footsteps. Either way, I stopped and turned around. She waved slowly, and then smiled.

Author's Note

This is only part of chapter one. I'm dipping my toe in the pool, as it were. Just testing the water. More to come pending reviews and critique.