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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJ6Mzvh3XCc

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It's time for me to dream again;

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I feel that all might be for nothing if I lose the means to dream.

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If I had my way -

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If I had my way you'd learn me slowly -

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Like a new language in a lost book -

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You would discern my intentions

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From a momentary synapse,

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A look in my eye

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Or a sudden change in my voice.

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If I had my way you'd be patient with me -

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You'd come to discover what it is I'm trying to build;

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You'd grow to understand why

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And how important it is to me that I do.

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If I had my way you'd learn where it is I come from - 

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Not from my lips, but from those who've known me,

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From those I've loved and from those that I love still.

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If I had my way, 

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You'd never know any of the terrible things -

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Because you wouldn't have to,

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Because they wouldn't matter anymore.

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If I had my way,

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You'd never ask about them -

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Even though I know that you inevitably will.

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If I had my way they would make no difference to you

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And prove themselves irrelevant in their affect on me.

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If I had my way,

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If I was given tripartite wishes from some long forgotten lamp -

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If it was a matter of self, of just the sole desire in my heart -

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I would ask the chance for you to know me,

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For you to learn who I am

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And who I so desperately,

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Some day,

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Want to be.

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But I also know,

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Were I to have my way

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And were a lamp like that to really exist,

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That there would be a part of me that would want to hand it to you

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And ask what you'd wish for instead.

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Author's Note

spiegel im spiegel: mirror in the mirror

"Tintinnabulation is an area I sometimes wander into when I am searching for answers – in my life, my music, my work. In my dark hours, I have the certain feeling that everything outside this one thing has no meaning. The complex and many-faceted only confuses me, and I must search for unity. What is it, this one thing, and how do I find my way to it? Traces of this perfect thing appear in many guises – and everything that is unimportant falls away. Tintinnabulation is like this. . . . The three notes of a triad are like bells. And that is why I call it tintinnabulation."