A Mansion Laced With Silk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5B2x3ZCl8g

At the end of an endless road

I see tightropes

As I see nets

In a windowless house 

With no mailing address

I see silk wheels

As I see cobwebs

Twined through each room

And strung from the ceiling 

To a half empty feather bed

I see shrouds 

As I see thread

Laced along each stretch of floor

Over mantles, under corners,

Blanketing the fireplace and spread

Across intricately carved figureheads

I see tightropes

As I see nets

I spy silk wheels

And I smell Cobwebs

I feel shrouds

Composed of thread

That trace a knot work

Around my head.

...

And in the back 

Drawn into the floor

There lies a rectangle

In the shape of a door

And in the cellar

There sounds a drum

Sitting above

A fire of burning income

A cauldron atop 

A bed of currency

That smells of wood smoke

And tastes like steam

It fills the house

With air to breathe

And feeds the thread

That runs through me

...

A heartbeat atop 

A bed of currency

And a house that's built

By lines of familiarity.

 ...

In a mansion 

                      

At the end of the street

                                               

There are lines

                                           

That lead through me

And at the bottom

Amongst the steam 

Atop a bed of redundancy

There is an ember

That flickers and fades 

To the sound of my Heartbeat

...

In the Cellar

Of an empty house

At the edge of the street

There is a fire 

That feeds the cauldron

Above a bed of burning money

...

Reviews

[Keshan mitchell]

I loved it really powerful

[Ookpik]

hey thanks

[SleeplessVolcano]

Yeah, I see the Poe inspiration clearly....maybe could have been more gruesome? Lol....only kidding.

Poe polished his own skill through being a literary critic, so who knows, maybe examining the work of others more closely may help ours too!

Great writing.

[Ookpik]

Hah! I had an ominousgothic vibe in mind when I wrote it, though I think I'd be hard pressed to make it gruesome :P

Thank you kindly for the review 👍

[Bacchus]

really really fantastic
the form- the words
the write- best thing I've read
in a long time- might just pull me out of
my writingless funk

[Ookpik]

Glad to be of service : ) thanks for the kind words!

[Sami Khalil]

I think this is good. I see the different perspectives regarding mindsets , money and wealth , power and its futility...:)..........

[Muse]

I love word play. It can add so much more to the meaning if done properly. Just be careful to not over do it. There was some redundancy with the word "thread" but I feel it was done with a purpose. Every thought, every emotion, every object, every person. Some how and in some way it seems we are only separated by a very thin thread. This thread can take on difference shapes and forms. Maybe for the poem it's symbolic for being a lone. We are all a breath away from loneliness....

[Ookpik]

Thanks for reading it, I agree with your observation regarding the over use of the word thread. I'll see what I can do to fix it while still maintaining the rhyme.

As far as the symbolic meaning I had intended less for the "knot-work" to represent being alone or a divide between people but instead wrote hoping it expressed thought, synapses of spiders thread that weave throughout the individual.

The mansion is supposed to represent the mind and the basement is supposed to represent drive or motive.

The heartbeat representing the need for health and burning money representing both the necessity and futility that is finance.

Money can't necessarily buy happiness but it's nearly impossible for anyone to live life without it.

Thanks for the review though

[MichaelJHyde]

fascinating poem. I've read through it a couple times ... there is a certain haunted feel to it. Something that I don't see or feel very often in the poetry I've read. Well done, and thank you.

[Ookpik]

Glad you enjoyed it, I was definitely going for an Edgar Allen Poe vibe while messing around with structure. thanks for the review 👌