Chapter Two: Life's a B***h so I'm an A*****e

In this chapter I explain the many tragities and many sucesses I've come to relise in my years as a student a kid and a son who loved his mother very much.

Chapter Two: Life's a B***h so I'm an A*****e

 

 Let me begin by saying bravo to all those who continued to this chapter because your a step higher than those who didn't and you should be proud to be exploring other possibilities instead of following one path that someone thousands of years ago made to get you to follow so you like millions of others would be slaves to a memory of a single individual which was later made as a control for the masses who were scaired to move forward and too weak to lead their own lives.

The point of this chapter is to show the obviouse that life is not as easy as some make it out to be and that fantasies of true love and perfect endings dose not exist but can be found through hard work and determination in this chapter I'm going to reviel some downfalls of life which I found the hard way and some of the joys and understanding which I came to relise.

when I was young I was taught the old ways the right ways the ways of honor and respect of loyalty and honesty I was a very strong believer of things not intirely religouse yet things which followed simmular boundries which were actually lessons of life religon was cut down to it's true meaning and most acceptable view that as long as you believed that god existed then you would do fine and you would go to heaven most of my young years I spent believing that something was ahead of me in life and after death although I didnt know what or who I didn't worry about that I became a second by second person.

one who lives in every moment for every moment and dosn't worry about what lies ahead intill it comes along to be reconized so life was simple I kept to strict honor bound rules based on knights and warriors of past civilizations the romans the egyptians the celts my rules which I lived by were straight and honorable respect thy mother and father honor my friends live with loyalty honor and mercy fight for those who are too weak to fight but above all respect every couple that is if you want a girl/guy and they're taken then don't be a dick and try and take them away instead have honor enough to wait or accept the fact.

nomatter how baddly you envy or hate or want the mate you desire, that seems to have nolonger been reconized by the world now but I'll get to that later in another chapter as I was life seemed to be going well I kept to a well balanced way of sword training and life although I was herassed everyday at school there came a time when I began my second grade year that I found a beautiful girl one which was the looks of an angel yet the additude of a snake her name was Katrina hayes and I fell madly in love with her.

I know it sounds hard to believe a 5 year old kid falling in love so young but it's true I wanted her I was a freak she was a popular  you know the story nomatter what I tried I got nothing but a letdown yet I never quit I followed her through fith grade and at this point of life I was still the same as I was yet I was more understanding of things but what was about to happen was a thing I didn't understand or accept for three years later the time was on valentines day and noone had given her a card however I did and gave it to her.

this was the first time in five years that she actually spoke to me in a kind voice and said "thank you" with her friends gigiling and her beging to blush I knew things were diffrent she was diffrent I was diffrent in her eyes however it came to my ears that she was moving in two days and nothing was able to stop it I came apon the last day and wrote her one last note and asked her brother to give it to her before they left I never had one chance with katrina.... she left and it would be 8 years later before I would see her face again.

after katrina left my life turned completely black and I went into a DARK DEPRESSION I gave up all my friends all my hobbies all my fun life was horrable and grim not worth breathing to me I drank three liter sodas every day thanks to my high metabolizim I never got fat from it but my view of life came clear that things are not always as they seem and life isn't going to be cooperative all the time I blamed god and society for her leaving it was then that I gave up all my faith of god and turned to more darker outlooks of lifes beliefs.

with every day being a day of sadness I began to turn to hate as the solution the anger would take the pain the hate would take the anger and I would keep the hate sealed within it was this that made me create a "self Curse" I created a demon within me built on all the hate I had collected from all the pain I had the deal was simple the pain fuels the anger the anger fuels the hate and the hate fuels the demon and the demon keeps building stronger so I dont' feel the pain anymore.

little did I know that that would do more harm than good in the near future soon my additude changed as did all my views of life and how to live soon I began being reckless stealing and lieing caring for noone but myself I began to hate the world every single individual weather I had a reason or not I wanted all to die as my beast grew my hate for all solifide to the point that I even yelled at my mother the one person I loved and adord above all others it was then she relised I had changed.

through a half of a year in middleschool and the rest done in another county my hate grew and my loving caring and compationate self seased to exist  for although I had made a girlfriend she too added to this hate becasue she showed me the the next step of experiance in love how love can be a lie after a week of happy talks and hopefull thoughts she gave me a letter stating how she was seeing another while we were together this was when I relised love can have any face but the love I seek was going to come with a hell of a price.

at the last year of middle school another great tragity came to pass my dear mother the one true friend and caring person of me was diognosed with cancer this was after I had saved her life one day from a heartattack in the local CVS parkinglot the local hospital couldn't do anything so she was sent to mission in asheville where I waited two weeks to just hear that the cancer had multiplied and was to much to stop when they offered kemo I told father NO don't make her suffer anymore than she has.

my mother and I had a deep connection of understanding life and it's values and I knew that this was going to be a new chapter in my life one which would put me to the ultiment test of loss with nothing that could be done we brought her home where hours later she died on a friday when she left it wasn't full of tears and screaming out her name I simply noded my head and said "it is done" that was it never cryed never shed a single tear simply accepted it knowing it's a part of life a new begining one where she wouldn't have to suffer in this "hell".

my family worried about me some grew conserned others figured I'd break eventually yet after five long years I have stood my groud not flinching at it but simply recieving a "boost" of understanding and and experiance with all this that had happened in my life including the facts of which I didn't speak of about how I was taken into fostercare at age 7 becasue my mother was at that time an acoholic and the fact of moving to candler where I had to stay with my cuzins for a year before the house was fully moved.

life had shown me no mercy and taught me that she's gonna give a battle a battle that will never end she's ruthless and crule she's a b***h so you got to be tough you gotta be able to fight back you gotta be an a*****e.

thank you once again for your cooperation in this chapter now I respectfully ask you read my next Chapter Three: Females are a pain in the a*s but you gotta love them.

Reviews

[Mr. Revan]

i would say i feel sorry for your loss, i would say that im sorry that the girl you loved no matter what disapeared from your young life, and i would offer condolences about your mother, but you have a view of life that i can see, and understand. acceptance that life is horribly fucked is hard for many, and takes the true experiences to understand it. You have been tested to the fullest, and when you spoke of your "demon", your dark depression, i as well relate to that. like a war inside, dead on the inside, in a manner of speaking, but your writing is very intruiging, and im gonng keep reading :)

[13.9]

Your first chapter interested me, so I continued.
While this chapter also has a number of spelling and grammatical errors, and you seem to contradict yourself in certain parts, I think this chapter flows better than the first one. I like the sort of timeline you set up, following certain periods of your life so far. It may help if you introduce the close relationship your share with your mother earlier in the chapter to add emphasis to how great the tragedy of her cancer diagnosis was to you personally rather than explaining it afterwards. I also think it may help if you followed up the story you began with, of the girl you were in love with, and explained briefly what happened when you did see her 8 years later. Also, by the very end, you seem to have been following the continuity of you life, and then more or less abruptly reintroduce your life at the age of 7, which kinda threw me off a little. I think it would fit better earlier, as those hardships may have contributed to the development of the "demon" you describe.
~13.9