Never To Leave My Lips, Aloud.

Outlet for my struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts. I'm safe, but only for my daughter's. They save me, every moment of every day.

Do I have a plan?
Not written,
(Because I can't even do that right)

The pain of those left behind is a thought I cannot stand
(But I still get to feel guilty for being so selfish. Selfish, selfish a*****e)

Then again, I wouldn't have to feel that either.
(This is comforting, and this line of thinking gets me closer because the closer I get, the more I let go of what saves me)

Just do what's right
Just do what is logical
(Not being dramatic, It is simply and factually true that everyone I know would be better off if I weren't here. I wouldn't fail them, or disappoint them, anymore)

Someday. Someday soon, I will be able to free myself.
(And I'm a piece of s**t for wanting what I've failed at accomplishing)

Author's Note

This is stream of consciousness meant to illustrate what it's like to be me.
Do not hot line me: I AM SAFE

Reviews

[James Messervy]

I can relate completely. I have exactly the same thoughts and only the thought of my wife and daughters keeps me going some days. Keep writing, it's cathartic and helps remind people like me that we're not alone.

[Aria Cardona]

I really like this, I know what it's like to go through depression so I can relate to it well.

[John the Baptist]

Verse 4 is a chilling example of what is called distorted thinking. This is what causes people to kill themselves.