I Will Grow

This is another depressing one, sorry to say.

If you fall you may never rise again,
so don't let them bring you to the ground.
Oh my dear, don't you know yet
that you are so much more than me?
Try this for me.
Smile in spite of me.
I can take it like I was
made to cry.

Bring my soul out from a realm of
tired and distraught-
how I never get just what I want.
I'll give it all to you, darling.
Everything I'm made to be
was meant for you, my darling.

Of course I'm a coward.
It's why you must be brave and strong.
Of course you won't protect me.
I'm not worth that much.

I'll just run away from my heart
it's holding me back anyway.
Who need's this pain?
It's forced on us, and we cry
till our eyes are red
and tired.

Like today, surrounded by people
I don't understand.
Pushed and shoved and thrown into the walls
because
I'm unforgiven, a nobody, one drop of water
from the uncountable mass that exists
in our ocean.

Put me on a time clock
reading one hour.
That's how long it will take for me to die.
Don't be afraid to cross the line.
It doesn't hurt as much as they say it does.
Oh but don't foreshadow anything
worth stopping.
Because it won't be stopped
and you will be dissapointed.
As always, of course.

Always forgotten and lost somewhere
beyond your lies and mine.
You just can't cover everything up.
Sooner or later,
someone will realize it's all for nothing.
No benefit, profit, or token of thanks.

Appreciate the sources that wrinkle up your brain.
You'll be smarter after
all
this
pain.
I guarantee it won't be as bad as
the suffering we were meant to have.
It's going to be a better place
somewhere out there.
Or up there?

Who's to blame?
Shame?
Shame on you for trying so hard
you know it won't be worth it in the end.
Endlessly losing a fight
you fought so hard
against such a strong competitor.
You honestly thought you could
compete with that?
Or walk into a room with that person
and be a focal point?
She is beautiful,
standing tall.
Weightless as she dances across the floor.
All eyes on hers.
Grey. Lasting forever and telling a fairytale.
Her breast rise and fall with the rhythm of the club music.
They can't keep their rough hands
off of her soft skin.
She feels so different compared to your
curves.
Your ordinary green eyes that look like nothing so special.
Your rough, overworked skin.
Skin that has seen life, pain, struggle.
They won't see your makeshift haircut,
the only dress you own that makes you feel
beautiful,
because it couldn't possibly compare
to any feature she might have.
She's beautiful.
And you just wish they would see you
if only for a moment look into your eyes
as they tell you
                      You amaze me. You are so beautiful.
Your life might be worth living
if he would show you he thinks
...well, you know.

Oh, I'm tired of running away
from who you don't want me to be.
Who you wish I wouldn't be was who
I was born to be
But this is how YOU made ME.
You asked me to change me,
to become your perfect painting.

But isn't a stranger worth more when they
are automatically
a Beautiful Stranger?
Oh, the words from a lost song.
She remembers them, though.
The first that ever touched her,
that showed her shield just wasn't quite as
strong as she thought she'd made it.
Showed that she's not quite as hard to read
as she used to be...

Will you lose anything if I leave?
Will it break you?
Were you ever my friend,
or was I being used again.
As a prop?
Mannequin?
Of course, always me.
I'll blame everything on me,
and you'll never live a guilty day in your life.
That's how it was meant to be?
Why me?

Why am I me?
Why was I made to always take the blame,
and live with everyone else's shame.
Without ever gaining fame.
Elementary rhymes my dear.

Take it all out on me.
You need a break?
Oh of course I'll take your place.
When will you be back?
Who knows. I'll be here anyway,
don't dismay, I'm here to catch you when you fall
my child.
My baby.

Do you grow more within me
or from what I'll teach you when you
become a part of life?
I'd like to convince myself
we grow from life, not height.
We grow from asking
 Why are there so many different kinds of flowers?
 For the same reason there are many different kinds of people,
my dear. To make the world oh so much more beautiful
than it ever could be
with just one type.

Am I not just another simple flower?
Will I grow to be tall?
or exotic?
or bright?
Will I have bitter thorns
to lash out with, and fight?
Will I have have petals down touching the ground
because of all the times I'll cry?
Will I be a common red?
Or white?
Or a beautiful purple?
or yellow?
Will I wilt in the sunlight?
Or grow through a drought?

I don't know.
I only know,
I will grow.
 

Author's Note

This is really just a big long rant with a few metaphors and spaces in between. I hope you enjoy though :~)

Reviews

[C.J.]

i liked it a little sad but stiull a good write good job!