The Schedule

Inspired by the monotonous life of a student.

My day starts just like everyone else's does. My alarm goes off at 5:30 in the morning, I get up and turn it off within thirty seconds and I use the rest of the minute to walk into the bathroom. From there I take a minute and a half shower, thirty seconds to get comfortable, thirty to put a mix of shampoo and conditioner in my hair, and another thirty to wash all the suds out of my hair. I then have a minute to dry off in the wind chamber, and when I get out I have two and a half minutes to brush my hair and teeth, and shave. After that I have thirty seconds to take a pill labeled “Compliance”. Next I have five minutes to choose from a selection of four government approved outfits, consisting of grey khakis with a navy button down shirt, navy khakis with a grey button down shirt, grey khakis and a navy sweater, and navy khakis and a grey sweater. Today I chose to wear grey khakis and a navy sweater. The next two minutes I prepare my breakfast, which can either be bread with jam, or a grey tasteless paste that was filled with things that are good for us. During the next five minutes I eat my breakfast and watch a program that tells us about the weather, special events that occurred the day before, the student that followed the schedule the best the day before, and if there are any schedule changes coming up. Today was to be 60 degrees with a nice breeze, I glanced out my window to see large heat lamps on the high ceiling turn on, and heard the distant hum of the fan that controlled the wind. The announcer told me that yesterday a student that stayed in his room because he was sick, and was beaten by the authorities, for not going to class. The announcer then warned us that if we are sick, we are to report to the hospital or we will be treated like anyone else that doesn't follow the schedule. The program then went on to say that James Peter had followed the schedule perfectly for five days in a row, and that like always there will be no schedule changes coming up anytime soon. The program shut off and I grabbed my bag and walked out the door within the two minutes I was allowed. I stood outside and looked up at the huge chasm we all lived in. I watched all the other students walk out of their rooms, all wearing a combination of grey and navy. A buzzer rang and myself, along with thousands of other students made our way to the massive school in the center of town. I had ten minutes to walk due to the distance my room was from the school. The singlefile line of students quickly walk towards the school, they are calm, but at the same time nervous that they won’t make it in time and will be punished. I looked at all the concrete boxes, with one window, and a metal door we all lived in, wondering where I would live after I reach the age of eighteen and get to go aboveground.

Author's Note

I got the idea of this short story by taking all the boring and annoying parts of school and making them much worse. Keep in mind that I wrote this when I should have been paying attention in class a few months ago so it's not the best it could be. It was just sitting in my docs so I decided to post it. Maybe I will expand this one day, but for now it's just a short story. Please leave feedback, and thanks for reading.

Reviews

[kicksotic]

Having just finished Leather Costumes, I'm surprised by the change of pace, change in voice and completely different subject matter. Not only are you showing an interesting range, you're doing so with, again, a wonderful sense of timing.

There's also intelligent writing here. Dropping clues as to the regimented lifestyle without telling the reader he's living a regimented lifestyle. It gives us the opportunity -- and all great writers do this -- to discover for ourselves the story as it unfolds.

If there was any constructive criticism I could offer, it's to be a bit more courageous in holding back clues. With this story, the breadcrumbs you dropped worked. But play with the idea of making the reader work a little harder to get what's happening and then, toward the end, hit 'em with a fantastic left hook. You've got the talent. You could make that work. :)

[Anjay Dhirmalani]

I was actually worried I had made the hints a little too inconspicuous, but I'll take your advice and try to make the reader work a little harder. I feel like this story could be a good setup for something bigger, maybe I'll base my first book off of this (if I can figure out how to expand my stories past a few pages). Thanks again for reading, and your support.

[kicksotic]

Don't push yourself to write longer or bigger stories. Let the story tell you what it wants to be. If it's short, let it be short. One day you'll find yourself with something that wants to be long. :)