John Told Me

Summer 2009

The distance is toxic
You are killing me
With defense
I’m your biggest fan
And you are sweating
underneath the spotlight
I’ve never had this much trouble
Makes me wonder if I’m wrong

It’s like my love for you
is eating me alive
And without you there
to replenish the spaces
With your own love for me
I am slowly erasing
I am useless and non-existent
Pretty soon I will just be a whisper
Of some girl you used to know
No longer will my thought linger
And again you will be all alone.

It will all work out as you planned,
I will prove to be unworthy,
And you will be glad
you didn’t take the plunge
You will be glad you kept me at bay
But John told me
To say what I need to say
And my adoration is a stray cat
And you hate cats
You try to make me house broken
But I just keep doing my thing
And you wonder why
you let me in your apartment;
This loud animal on your Italian sofa

I always come padding up to your door
With a smile you could eat,
And a wild look in my eye
I feel like
If you told me your history
I would say it away
And you would believe me
You would finally be okay
I would speak the truth
I would soothe your pain
All the burdens of growing up
And trying to catch the
Dreams of your father
A father who is
only wishing for your youth