Mezzo Forte Adoration

Spring 2009

I guess I used
his quarter
and your quarter
to make up the half empty glass in my heart
I kept thinking one day
one of you would fill it to the brim
but you both just kept me at bay
both too scared to finish what you start

I thought his arms
could make up for your non-existent kisses
but I found myself liking it
and I felt like a terrible breed of woman
but I got better at hiding it

I thought of it innocently at first
rationalized that it was just a distraction
so I didn't overpower you
with my Mezzo Forte adoration
But then I started to see
that someone else
was actually caring about me
and that what you and I have
may never come to fruition

So sometimes when I miss you
I knock on his door instead
He awaits at the peephole
always wanting of my warmth
and for me to crawl gracefully into his bed

He was temporary relief
and I know it's not right,
but the more you put me on pause
the more I'm in his arms
instead of holding your soft hands
and smiling deeply into the night

The difference between the two
is I really just want to be with you
You and I have a Grand Staff
where he and I merely have a few notes
and our song, it grows
and neither of us know
which direction it will go

Reviews

[Jinx's Heart]

This is so heart-retching. This poem brings up old memories of my own and just brings out how painful this can be. I love how you metaphorically used music vocabulary in here to describe certain instances. Just wow! Incredible writing!