Traffic Light

Summer 2008

I’ve always viewed my heart as a swinging door.
Around you I find that it’s a traffic light.
I’m at a steady yellow until you look at me,
And then it’s just green, green, green.

How I watched you that first night:
Hovering over your stove,
So careful in your preparation
Of 4 am Mexican food
For a group of drunken patrons

You didn't even know.

 

The more I saw of your artistry
The more I became intrigued
It made me divert my gaze
So I couldn’t meet your eyes.
I just remember focusing on that
Old pair of black glasses you never wear
The ones tucked away on your computer desk

I quietly counted the freckles on your arm
And wondered if your smile would be as bright

Close up to my red cheeks,

Close up to my eyes,
You make it to where I can’t breathe

You were so patient
You let me talk all night
And complimented me every chance you got
You made me fear the silence
And then you asked me stay the night
But it was already 7 am
And I was so frightened
That I’d wake up in love

Your guitar had dirty stings
But it was in tune, so I can’t complain
I played for you while you were in the bathroom
And you named every song with accuracy
Your soft voice echoing off the porcelin

You have utterly surprised me
And in your absence I am at a loss for words
I can’t stop thinking about you
I can’t forget that smile that stopped me
And made me forget the background
On such a lovely drunken evening

Now if feels like weeks since I’ve heard your voice
You, the stranger I just met yesterday
And you dominate my mind in such a way
That I’m utterly afraid of seeing you again
I’m afraid that I will give myself away
And make you run with my honesty
Or worse, I’m afraid you would agree
And I wouldn’t be able to breathe again