Okay Again

2007

On a bright and sunny Sunday

When I should have been listening to Reggae Gold

I filled my 5 disk cd changer full of Modest Mouse

And said goodbye to the world

 

You want me to be okay again

You want me to sprout forth flowers

So you’re sure of my flourishing

In such a desolate terrain

The world is beautiful indeed

Such pretty little expressions of love

Are tangling my feet right now

They carry me through the undercurrents

And I can’t break free from my oceanic slumber

 

You want me to be okay again

You want me to smile with pride

At the empire I’ve created

All of the toys I’ve collected

Could never compare

To the things I’ve lost during my ride

 

And I hardly play guitar now

My radio sounds more like piano

And I lean on the keys

I hold the sustain

I breathe into the notes

And exhale into my words

 

I hope that you can sense me there

I hope that I leave something of myself

Here for you all to play with when I’m gone

Cuz we will all be gone, in due time, someday

 

I don’t think you painted me with the right colors

I am nowhere near your pastels and glitter words

I’m more of a murky brown

Framing forest greens

Blending to that dark sort of a red

The kind that makes you think of dried blood.

And my words are stretched and reaching

The way a reed does against the wind

 

You want me to be okay again

And to be honest, I don’t know if I can

You thought you were surprised

You should have seen my face

You should have seen my fists

In the midst of such trechery

Such ill fated disdain

Such lies and trickery

 

He hopped through my life

Like a frog who had stolen the Queen’s treasury

He distracted me with his kiss

And then stole away before my eyes were open

 

I’m blanketed in my regret

I am soaking in my memories

Like a tea bag left to steep

For 2 days too long

 

And you want me to be okay again

You want me to kiss the daylight

And come out and play

But to be honest, I don’t know if I can

 

This thief still haunts me

He comes to me in moments of weakness

And whispers in my ear how much of a sport I was

How he loved to draw me through his web

And ate of my sadness like shiny apples off of a tree

 

He sharpens his claws

Checks his hair in the mirror

And then saunters off for the next daily catch

He spits lies like hellfire

And wraps you up deep in silk

So you don’t even know your dead till it’s too late

 

He will rise from his sleep

And his laughter will echo through his kingdom

And all of the forest creatures will disperse and hide

Cuz they know the malicous deeds he spins