Difficult

April 2012

I cannot explain
So don’t ask
I can describe
And I do so all the time
If there were ever
Someone for me to love
It would be you
And if ever there were
A more difficult person
To fall in love with
It would be you
I’ve been told
I’m not supposed to
So you are free of burden
You let yourself off the hook
And yet I stay, I still look
I’m not supposed to
It would be you

I fashion you my muse
You love to be spoiled
And I like the verbal abuse
And excuse after excuse
Imperfect we are
I think I could love you
Imperfectly
And you’d still be impressed
Our sex
Has wronged you that much
Thought I could
Right it all
With my smile
But your defense is too rough

You encourage so much in me
You make me want to
Evolve
So I could deserve you
But I’m brimming with
Naivety
And I want you
to teach me for a while
Teach me how
You light your eyes aflame
Like the roughest blue sea
It’s like poetry to me
Watching your eyes drip
With what your mouth doesn’t say

I have tried to hold back
Tried to sit on top of my emotions
So they can’t breathe
But all I have to do is look at you,
And violently, they break free
Those moments I stare, and you catch me
That’s the sound I hear:
My metaphoric dam falling away
And you are just pissed cuz I missed my turn
Driving around in my car
I write these lines in my head
I chose to be creative instead
Of over analyzing
It’s surprising
You haven’t caught on yet
But I’m assuming again

You are impenetrable
So far away from simple
Complicated and difficult
It makes me wonder how much
Softness you are hiding
In those stoic expressions you
Utilize so often
I want to hold it
However rough, and angular
I want to hold the most difficult parts of you
I want to smile down on them
So they I know I appreciate them
And so they know
How very glad I am to be here