Sneak preview for One Secret

This is my little description of my new book "One Secret." So far I have about six chapters done, and I would like to know if I should invest more time in this book. Post a comment and let me know what you think.

Excerpt:

     'It's him!

     Yes, but you need to run Nada! Please!

     Where are you? How are-

      I will tell you soon. Nada! PLEASE! Run!

     The boy was frantic now. Inside my head he was pleading for my life. I could feel his mind intertwined with mine as the man lifted the gun. The boy was screaming! He was screaming for me to run, but it was too late. I was frozen to the ground.

      The man's finger flexed, and I heard the shot as soon as the pain hit. A pain so extreme that it caused my mind to waver. My left leg felt like it was on fire! I suddenly felt the ground smack into me, and my breath rushed out. Everything went black. The last thing I heard was the boy. He was furious! At me? No, he was outraged at the man for harming me. Why did he care so much? Who was he, and more importantly at the moment, who was this man? My thoughts dimmed, and everything was silent.'

 

         A teenager named Nada was living a normal life with friends, school, and parents, but that changed when she turned 18. Nada is taken from her home on the morning of her birthday, oblivious to the meaning. She soon discovers that there are other teens like her in her new location. While trying to stay alive, she notices a young guy, almost her age. He is silent in the shadows, but soon she uncovers his secret. The government's secret. Now Nada must fight from the inside to reveal the one secret the government withholds from it's nation. One huge secret that could change lives. 

        

           

 

 

Author's Note

I am not very good at writing book descriptions (This one is pretty much atrocious, that's why I added an excerpt.) , but I thought that I should tell you about the book before I start to post chapters. Please let me know what you think about my book and let me know if you think I should continue.

Reviews

[Kuro]

For a description I would prefer title and story tags. Tags actually tell you a lot about the genre and theme. Then I would add a brief synopsis of the plot. Having an excerpt is nice, but should be given after the synopsis not before. The synopsis should outlay the general direction the plot is going to take and should not be just about the start of the novel. Hope that helps.

[deeps]

This is so well written here. I like the layout as well. Very well done.