A friend of mine just lost her father and she said he was so weak in the end he couldn't unwrap himself from a shirt that was choking him. Made me think of that reading this. If only we could have the energy left to die with dignity in the end. The remnants of our lives exposed to those who care for us.
May I point out a misspelling that really stands out? Mourn is spelled mourn.
You do such a marvelous job with meter and rhyme, here iambic tetrameter and
AABBX, CCDDX, etc.
I only wonder if memories shouldn’t be spelled in full as I have heard it pronounced as both a 2 and 3 syllable word and the meter by then is so strongly established it encourages the 2 syllable pronunciation.
Miss Sharon,
I love the concept you present here. My mom is 94, and as intellectually brilliant as ever. Her body fails her in its great weakness, but her mind carries on. I want to call it strength, she says. Why are you taking me to the Dr.? I'm not going to do anything he says, no operations, no medications." She is strong, she is stubborn; she lives by her own creed, despite the excruciating pain in her knees, the congestive heart failure, and embarrassing incontinence. So, is she "too weak to dieand so must live? I don't know, but your poem took me down this particular thought-path, and so did what all poetry aims to do... show us something about ourselves. Thanks for that.
Vol
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
What a wonderful review of this post! Thanks ever so much. ~Sharon
A friend of mine just lost her father and she said he was so weak in the end he couldn't unwrap himself from a shirt that was choking him. Made me think of that reading this. If only we could have the energy left to die with dignity in the end. The remnants of our lives exposed to those who care for us.
May I point out a misspelling that really stands out? Mourn is spelled mourn.
What a touching poem. I lost my beloved grandfather because of dementia. I remember I was 7 that once he told me"where is my home son",while he was exactly standing beside it. I don't know if you have watched the movie" awakenings" which Robert de Niro and Robin Williams played in it. There are and were many people who lost their true spirit for living becuase of brain and mind problems, I always get depressed when I think of the trouble these people go through. A nice and astonishing poem.
I wonder why I didn't get the chance to know you earlier Miss Sharon. As I've read your bio, you are a piano teacher. That's wonderful. I always have very deep respect for Piano teachers, they are the true monks of art.
If you have interest in Chopin(which I'm sure you do as a piano teacher) you can read my "Monsieur Chopin" and "The Jealous Piano" poems. It's my pleasure to meet you, Nima from Iran.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
I so much appreciate your review of this one my "new found friend." Chopin just happens to be my ver.. read moreI so much appreciate your review of this one my "new found friend." Chopin just happens to be my very favorite composer! His works are very challenging and I must practice many times to even come close to mastering them. ~Sharon
1 Year Ago
It's an honor for me to have you among my new friends ma'am🙏
I know Chopin for a couple of.. read moreIt's an honor for me to have you among my new friends ma'am🙏
I know Chopin for a couple of years, and his style is unique to himself. I'm nobody in academic music but I can say that he lives ina far different world from Mozart, Beethoven and Haydn. He is so modern, compared to his contemporary composers. I want to start learning Piano this year, and I wanted to start with Chopin but it seems he is a challenge even for the masters of the piano.
We should always take the chance to say those words, as one day there will be no time left to say them.
This reminds me of my mother's demise and what came before that. Once the glue that held us all together, dementia did what it does and left a lot of bitterness and resentment behind, for the rest of the family.
It seemed to bring out the worst in people and our family fell apart after that.
It has and will continue to do so, remembering the person and life she had, as well as gave to each of us.
Beautifully written Sharon.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you so much Lorry for a wonderful review of this write. I am sorry that your family also knew .. read moreThank you so much Lorry for a wonderful review of this write. I am sorry that your family also knew the hardship of dementia. You are in my heart and my prayers. ~Sharon
Beautifully and skillfully laid words, Sharon. I understand too well. You have the skill to speak of strong emotions without melodrama or crude decoration, somehow retaining dignified truth. These words truly touch..
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you so much for your beautiful response to this write! ~Sharon
1 Year Ago
I meant what I said. Good to see you too, always is. Take care, keep safe.. as ever always.
You said so much in these words dear Sharon.
"Too weak to die and so must live"
I adored the above lines. You left the reader with the wish. To know more. Thank you dear friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
What a wonderful comment on this one my friend! Thanks ever so much. ~Sharon
Beautiful words you crafted here Sharon...sad but at the end hopeful....we mourn with hearts broken, especially when the memories are mixed emotions; every phrase is another feeling of grief....and that is expected...i feel there were unspoken words before the death that now have come to haunt; but there is hope for all of us losing loved ones....the will, although weak, to move on. Excellent poem dear Sharon...
Best, B
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Awwww! You are such a sweetie. Thanks ever so much for the kind review. ~Sharon
I think you have crafted something here that is not only bigger than it appears on the screen but makes the reader consider each word in turn as if they were fine dining .. Your use of language & in particular those poetic corruptions is splendid and was unexpected but did not distract .. Each verse is a little gem in its own write and your summative one without being too corny is simply to die for .. Furthermore, the whole thing looks so bloomin pretty pinned as it is to the page like that .. A seriously impressive post and ink well spilt ma'am ... Neville
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
What a lovely review my friend! Thanks ever so much. ~Sharon
1 Year Ago
you are more than worthy and therefore most welcome .. Neville
My name is Sharon, I am a retired piano teacher, I love the mountains where I hike and snowshoe, have had several poems published and love to write. I also love to read almost anything I can get my ha.. more..