DEFECTIVE MERCHANDISE

Be attentive to those who are lonely.

DEFECTIVE MERCHANDISE

She sat alone in deep despair

With tears upon her cheeks.

She thought she was defective...

So she seldom chose to speak.

She needed comfort in the nights

That took her will to live.

But no one seemed to understand...

She needed them to give.

She often sat in disarray,

With heavy head bowed low...

Yet those who saw her day to day,

Were privy to a 'show.'

Her smile of strength, resolve and pride

She bore with each new day...

Belied what she was apt to hide

And what she LONGED to say.

One morning when the sun came up

And she did not respond...

Her 'friends' began to gather 'round

To see her...just for fun.

It was too late...for in her night

Of deepest dark despair,

She left this world by her own choice...

She thought no one would care.

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Reviews

[shadrach hah]

Hi Sharon, there is always someone who cares and is heartbroken by suicide. Such strong emotions float down your lines and paint a painful picture, always heading for the predestined end. The sadness now wells up within me. As always. Your emotions touch my heart. Have a wonderful Friday. Hugs always....Mike.

[Miss Sharon]

Thank you so much for your kind review! I appreciate you. ~Sharon

[shadrach hah]

You are welcome, my friend. Have a wonderful Friday. Hugs always....Mike.

[Dave Brown]

This reminds me a lot of the social pressures many kids have to deal with during school days
How someone is often picked out to be the recipient of extra damaging abuse

[Miss Sharon]

So very true Dave. Kids can be so cruel to their peers. Thanks for reading my work! ~Sharon

[Shelley Warner]

Oh how heartbreaking. Suicide is heartbreaking. The line in the first stanza "she thought she was defective" was especially touching. I'm reminded of a song, sung by Kathy Trocollli, Carry Your Candle, Go Light Your World. One stanza says: "See now your sister, she's been robbed and lied to, still holds a candle without a flame".

[Miss Sharon]

Thank you Shelly for your generous and kind review. The song you mentioned does go right along with my poem. ~Sharon

[Einstein Noodle]

well done, Sharon! natural flow and rhyme says i! it's the theme tho, that captures my heart ... i thought of the awkwardness of teens and preteens ... most unsure and hesitant to speak much at all let alone be themselves ... and i thought of those balanced on a line between mental health and illness .. fiercely struggling just to breath ... misunderstood and pushed toward isolation .. and I thought of the homeless .. a "freak show" with a constant flow of people peering .. very emotive read for me ... the theme is solid, important and raw says i ... beautiful rhyme and rhythm .. nice work Sharon!
E.

[Miss Sharon]

Your kind and generous review is very much appreciated my friend! Thank you ever so much. ~Sharon

[Lydia Shutter]

Such a heartbreaking poem, Sharon. So many people hide their true emotions from the world. Deep inside they are broken, hurting, but the world sees a happy smiling face and does not see the real person at all. The rhyming is flawless and the message is powerful. Lydi**

[Miss Sharon]

Thank you so much my dear friend for a beautiful review! ~Sharon

[Chris Shaw]

Such emotion in this classic style poem Sharon. Beautifully penned and sadder than sad. Sadly it happens and there are those in our midst who will choose to end their own lives. Such a tragedy. We all need to be aware of tge feelings of others and how they can become distorted. Hope you are well dear poet. You have been missed.

Chris

[Miss Sharon]

What a beautiful review Chris! Thank you so much. ~Sharon

[Tate Morgan]

Wow. That flows like a river. I would expect nothing else from you. Painful To read. We are all guilty of this ignoring those who need us

[Miss Sharon]

Thank you my friend for your kind review. ~Sharon

[Betty Hermelee]

A very well written poem, with deep, profound emotions of hidden despair. Even with an attempt to be strong, sometimes one gives up; and laughing doesn't make it better. This is very sad; your words and the rhyme are excellent, honest and heartfelt.
Truly yours
B.

[Miss Sharon]

Thanks so much Betty for your lovely review. Muchly appreciated! ~Sharon

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome!

[emmajoy]

To use such fine academic form yet - still display amazingly clear emotions of how a being feels and finishes is more than touching. Superb by sincere need - and completion, my friend.

' Her smile of strength, resolve and pride - She bore with each new day... - Belied what she was apt to hide - And what she LONGED to say. '

[Miss Sharon]

I really appreciate your wonderful review of this write my friend! ~Sharon

[zainul]

Wonderful write.We are used to give attention only when it is meaningless.The fate of the unlucky person is not the last.Such painful event may happen for some of us as well.
Thank you Sharon for sharing the mind blowing work.

[Miss Sharon]

I appreciate and thank you for such a wonderful review! ~Sharon

[zainul]

Thank you very much.