Tattoo

Tattoo

 

Coursing through tender vein and flesh

The outer mark of inner turmoil

This is the blackness that we entertain.

 

Fluxing waves of green and blue and black

A forever sign of faith or failure

Cradle the soul into sad, sad panging.

 

Rushing, gushing, the man-made life blood

This fitting verse of joy’s occasion

Never to fade, nor forgotten with age.

 

Creeping through the dim-lit alleys

This is our deepest, darkest sanctuary  

I see your eyes grow wild with hunger.

 

Stinging the palest, frailest skin

The black and green, the ceaseless buzzing

Engraving the fading lights of lovers.

 

We’re not like them, they rush and rage around

They dart and dive and flare and simmer;

We’ll keep drifting in our nightly haze.

 

Let’s adorn ourselves this evening

Let’s carve out our hearts upon us;

Else we might forget we lived those days.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy, all comments/feedback welcome :)

Reviews

[Rosie Brooklin]

Absolutely wonderful! Aside from general grammatical errors, I have no complaints. Very well done!

[OneAmongstMany]

Glad you enjoyed! Could you elaborate on these grammatical errors?

[Rosie Brooklin]

I see some fragments and run-ons. I think it would be helpful to look through this poem and evaluate whether or not it would be appropriate to add semicolons or commas. One example of a mis-used semicolon is in the last stanza. I believe the second-to-last line could use a comma, instead.

[Maria]

Loved this piece. Excellent writing. Thanks for sharing.

[OneAmongstMany]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed :)

[PandaPeaceful]

I absolutely loved the ending line! Simply beautiful. Terrific job!

[OneAmongstMany]

Thank you!

[Krutika]

Thoughtful and really well written. Good job👍

[OneAmongstMany]

Thank you!

[HarleyCola]

Your poem here is really quite amazing. you managed to capture many emotions in such few short lines.

[OneAmongstMany]

Thank you :)

[Ken Simm.]

There is a darkness here that really stands out like your ink angainst skin.
you do this type of writing so well. With so many layers, so many pathways. Indeed like an intricate tattoo.

[OneAmongstMany]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed :)

[sabinn]

a really beautiful rhythm of words....
Let’s adorn ourselves this evening
Let’s carve out our hearts upon us;
Else we might forget we lived those days.

these was even better :)

[OneAmongstMany]

Thank you, much appreciated!

[duff]

I really like this. It's dark and gripping. The art of tattooing holds so much meaning to each individual. Fascinating material. There are some ridiculously good lines in here.
"Fluxing waves of green and blue and black
A forever sign of faith or failure
Cradle the soul into sad, sad panging.

Wow. Hands down my favorite of yours. Wonderfully written.

[OneAmongstMany]

Thank you! Glad you liked it :)

[duff]

You're very welcome. Well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

I did like this poem.
"Let’s adorn ourselves this evening
Let’s carve out our hearts upon us;
Else we might forget we lived those days."
The above lines. Wonderful and needed. We need to tattoo the good days to our heart and the mind. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[OneAmongstMany]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed!

[Coyote Poetry]

I did enjoy and you are welcome.