numb;

A raw emotion, that most people don’t feel. 

Everyone can feel their anger,
sadness,
hurt,
happiness
pure joy.
But for me I don’t feel those anymore. 
I don’t feel those long nights of staying up, crying yourself to sleep.
I don’t feel those tears that are nonstop.
I don’t feel those muted, muffled noises of holding back what you feel with your entire being. 
I don’t feel those butterflies of being around you,
touching you,
kissing you,
holding you. 
I only feel numb. 
I only feel that raw emotion of nothing at all. 
Emptiness. 
Being whole is a forever faded feeling. 
I will never have a chance to feel that once again.
It has been beaten, broken, and ripped out of me

You look at the face of thousands of people and say to yourself, “F**k. If only you knew. And I hope you don’t.”
How are you suppose to have a complete conversation with someone who can feel all these different things, while you feel nothing. They can put themselves into something whole heartily and you not giving a s**t less about it. 

But in the end. I hold my coffee in one hand. And a cigarette in the other and think to myself,
“One day it will go away. But for now it is just another day.” 

Reviews

[Matthew Bosko]

Losing those feelings that have addictive like qualities and going through what you beautifully formed here...the withdrawal period. Nice work.

-Matt

[RichGee]

Great piece of art...love your writes...you write brutal truth.

[unsurewordsmith]

Beautifully written. Beautiful narrative voice. Real and, as you say, raw. You captured a feeling or lack there of that many know. Being able to communicate that through a poem is a real skill. Thanks for the write.

[Megan Doeden]

Thank you.

[A. Amos]

This piece is finest of all I read, I trulh enjoy the flow and what I like about your work is; the way your share the darker side of life with brutal honesty...just mesmerizing work of art. Bravo!

[Megan Doeden]

thank you so much!