Patterns

A story about love and deception, embraced by the beautiful surreal.

Eric smiled and held the set of teacups up in the air for everyone to see.
“Yes,” he said. “Thank you, grandma, these will… definitely come in handy.”
The skinny old grandmother radiated pride while the present was passed from hand to hand. It was his twenty fourth birthday and the room was crowded. His parents had dusted his childhood home rigorously and nothing seemed to have changed since Eric and his brother had left. The green living room furniture and the massive mahogany table stood centered in the room and the television wore a thick layer of dust. It stood alone and neglected but on top of it, a small battery-powered radio rested, dusted off and shiny. He took the coffee-pot and headed to the kitchen for a re-fill. In here, the cabinet doors had missing handles and the headless three-legged dog that William had painted with crayons on the window-ledge that used to scare Eric when he was seven had faded in colour but was still clearly visible. He shook his head and poured hot coffee in the pot. Returning to his guests, he overheard his grandmother complain about William’s haircut. Although it was a fairly normal cut, she still found it too modern for her likings. Eric smiled and served coffee.
The rest of the evening he tried to show his appreciation for the celebration, but was too tired to put good effort into his performance. Fortunately, his guests were busy with cake and coffee and didn’t pay him much attention. He sighed. He just wanted to go home. The house smelled of cookies, coffee and the cigarettes his father and uncle persisted on smoking under the kitchen fan, and Eric didn’t enjoy the mixture.
After two more hours and a lot of complaint about sickness and diseases, governments and politics, everyone had finally gone home except for Eric and William. While their father had a quick smoke on the terrace and their mother was in the kitchen putting leftovers in the freezer, the brothers seated themselves in the living room. William drank his scotch, watching the presents lined up on the table. He pointed at one of them.
“What exactly is that?” he said.
“I have no idea, but I bet mum could use something like whatever that is supposed to be,” Eric replied.
William let the last drop of whiskey leave the glass and sighed happily as he put it down on the table. He stretched out like a cat in the sofa, putting his feet on his mother’s favorite pillow.
“So how’s school?” he asked and Eric shrugged in response.
“No? Not going well?”
“Boredom on a very high level right now,” Eric answered and collapsed in his corner, tired. Their father opened the terrace door and stepped inside. Eric grunted.
“You smell like s**t.”
“Why thank you very much, son.” He sat down in a brown armchair who looked as ready to collapse as Eric. It creaked ominously as he leaned back.
“Twenty-four years old. Time flies by,” he said and chuckled. Eric rolled his eyes.
“So my boy, how is school?”
William grinned at his brother. “Fine,” Eric concluded.
“Dad,” William said and pointed towards the kitchen, “I failed to spot the microwave I gave you for Christmas last year…”
Eric laughed. “That’s because mum has redecorated it. It is now officially nothing but a box to put ornaments on,” he said, amused. Their father snorted.
“Oh, we used it! We did! Once, we used it to heat our dinner, and can you believe, sparks flashed before my eyes! I immediately shut it off. I think there might be something wrong with it.”
William put his hand on his forehead and sighed deeply. “Did you put the fork and knife away?” he said slowly. Their father shrugged. “Where did you want me to put them?” he said, confused.
“Not in the microwave, dad! Did you?” William said and sat up.
“Well…Maybe I did…”
“Dad! I… I… There are no words to describe this… this… The microwave is fine! You, on the other hand, could do with some upgrading…” he murmured. The door bell rang and he left the room.
“What did he mean?” the still confused father asked Eric.
“Oh, never mind,” Eric laughed and ate the last piece of cake left of the plate. William peered around the corner. “Come on, Eric,” he said, “I’ll give you a lift home.”
“You’ve been drinking,” Eric said and yawned.
“Yeah, okay, maybe I can’t drive,” William said while Eric got to his feet and headed for the hall, “but my friend can.”
Eric turned the corner and saw a girl lean toward the wall.
“Eric. This is Kira,” William said and headed for the kitchen, leaving Eric alone with her. The girl seemed a little troubled by the sudden silence. Eric wanted to speak, but was lost for words. He let his eyes wander. She was slender and blonde, with her hair tied in a ponytail. Her eyes were almost disturbingly blue and the stare he received felt cold and penetrating. Still she radiated warmth and sensuality. Her body seemed flawless and he couldn’t help letting his eyes follow her every curve. He felt so bad for staring without speaking but was too amazed by her to look away or form any reasonable sentences. Kira cleared her throat and Eric felt his face go warm. “I’ve been living with William for a month now,” she explained.
“Oh really?” Eric managed.
“He offered me his bed, so…”
Eric’s eyes widened and Kira’s cheeks went pink. “No, no, no! Not like that! God, no! He’s on the sofa, I… I sleep alone, I do,” she said and blushed even more.
William entered the hall again, putting his jacket on. “Bye mum, bye dad!” he called and laid an arm around Kira as they walked towards the car. Eric watched her go. “Bye mum.. dad. Thanks for the… cake.” He put his shoes and jacket on, closed the door, and jumped into the backseat of the car.
Back home, he laid down on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
Kira.
There was something about this girl.
The sun went down. Night took over. Eric slept, tossing and turning in feverish nightmares about the ocean, and the end of everything.
About a week of Eric’s ordinary life went by.
Friday came, marking the end of five days hard work. Eric waited for the train to arrive to take him home when the phone rang.
“Hey Eric! What are you up to, dude?”
“Hey Will, I’m on my way home. What’s up?”
“Having a party tonight, you gotta be here!”
“Got essays to finish, bills to pay, books to read…”
“Just for one night, f**k it and get your a*s over here! Be here at ten,” William said and hung up. The train arrived and Eric sat down.
“Oh… Hi.”
He lifted his eyes and his heart skipped a beat, his mouth went dry. Kira sat opposite him, smiling.
“… Hey you! What are you doing here?”
“I’m on my way to your brother. You as well?” she said, piercing him with an icy, blue gaze. He tried to look away, but couldn’t. “Not yet, no…” he answered, swallowing loudly. “I’m heading home first. With my books and...”
“Where do you live, Eric?” she said looking out the window, studying his reflection in the greasy glass. He swallowed again nervously looking down at his own shoes.
Were she and William dating? They sure seemed to spend an awful lot of time together. He felt a surge of jealousy pass by but dismissed it quickly, feeling rather stupid.
“Eric?”
“I’m sorry, what was the question again?” he said and shook the strange feeling off.
“Where you live… I asked you where you live,” she said helpfully and he nodded.
“Yes. Sorry. I live five stations from here. In a small flat above a pizzeria, nothing fancy, not like William’s place. I’m no estate agent,” he stuttered studying his own shoes. There was a short silence. “… But the pizza is excellent…”
Kira smiled and looked at him. She put her hand on his leg, forcing him to meet her eyes. “Have you had dinner yet?” she said. He shook his head. “Then have some pizza with me, Eric.”
The rain fell outside. Eric watched Kira while waiting at the counter. She sat by the window looking out into the arriving night. This was… different. Why had she come with him? It was only a pizzeria. This wasn’t exactly a five star restaurant. He wanted to call it a date, but just couldn’t. That would make him the worst date ever.
She turned around and smiled at him. He smiled back and watched her return her attention to the window. She followed with her finger the patterns painted on the glass by the raindrops.
They ate in silence for a while just studying the busy life outside their window. After finishing, she pushed her plate aside and he felt her watching him. He finished his pizza fast, took their plates away and ordered two more beers. This silence made him uncomfortable. It probably made her uncomfortable too. He didn’t want that. He felt a certain responsibility to keep the conversation going. If only he could find the right words…
“You look beautiful”
Eric’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe what had just come out of his own mouth. Kira looked uncomfortable and he panicked. “I just meant that… Artistically speaking…” He felt his stomach turn, “It… it would make a good picture, with the rain and you by the candlelight… or in the rain, wet… No! Wait! Not like that!”
Kira stood up putting her jacket on. Eric hastily rose from his chair, spilling beer over them both. “Oh, s**t!!” he said, running for paper towels. Getting back he desperately started wiping beer off of Kira’s shirt, suddenly realizing he was dangerously close to her chest. He backed away, mumbling, stumbling and knocking his chair over. A smile spread across Kira’s face and she started laughing.
She reached out and gave him a hug. At first he just stood there, frozen to the ground. Then a scent of roses spread and he inhaled. He put his arms around her, closing his eyes. He wanted it to last but Kira backed away, a little shy. She looked down at her shirt and smiled. “Does your flat have a shower?” she mumbled.
Eric blushed. “Yes, of course. Do you want to use it? Of course you do! What a stupid question… Follow me.”

”What did you say your name was again?”
“Yumiko.”
“That’s weird, girl, but pretty…I’m Simon.”
“I know.”
They sat on cushions on the floor in an overcrowded apartment belonging to someone they hardly knew. Behind them someone played guitar, in front of them someone else tightened his belt around his arm, making the veins pop. Yumiko watched him fill the needle and frowned. “What do you like about this place?” she asked Simon. He blinked slowly. “I don’t know…” he said, “it’s cool…”
Yumiko shook her head disapprovingly. “It’s not cool.”
Simon watched her for a long time. “… It’s not?”
“This is such a waste, Simon. You’re talented, do you realize that?” she said looking at him. He tried to focus but his eyes kept rolling around in its sockets. “I think I need a little more,” he mumbled and Yumiko sighed. Simon heaved himself up and staggered into another room. She watched him go and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. A man sat down next to her. He leaned forward and started kissing her face. Ignoring him completely, she kept her eyes on the spot where Simon had vanished. The man stopped and looked at her. “Are you wasted?” he said and put a pill to her lips. “No thanks,” she said, pushing his hand away. He shrugged and put the pill in his own mouth. In the corner of her eye, she saw Simon reappear again. She quickly rose and pushed her way through the crowd.
“Simon!” Yumiko grabbed him by the arm, dragging him into the bathroom. She threw two girls out and locked the door behind them.
“Hey,” Simon said in a shaky voice, “it kind of feels like something’s kind of… wrong, you know…”
She faced him. “Yes, something is kind of wrong, Simon,” she stated, watching him sadly. Pale and sweating hard, he fell to the floor. Yumiko stayed put. He gave her a pleading look. “Help… me…” Ignoring his wishes she sat down on the edge of the bathtub. “I can’t believe how you could do this. Drugs, I mean. You get a decent rush from a good drink or a few beers. It’s quite enough for the body and the mind. Couldn’t that have been enough?”
Simon stared at her. He coughed, and blood sputtered all over his face. She ripped off some toilet paper and carelessly wiped his face.
“Die with some dignity…”
His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest but ended up swallowing his own blood. He choked and desperately tried to cough again. Yumiko wiped is off again and then threw the paper in the bin. She stared at him indifferent to his current condition, crossed her legs and rested her head in her hands. “How could you lower yourself to their level?” she said and pointed at the bathroom door, referring to the people outside. “You were so smart, Simon! You could have gone a long way. You could have chosen music. You could have chosen politics. You were multi-talented,” she said with gritted teeth, “but you chose …this.”
Simon thought he saw her eyes shift in color. A second later his heart gave up. He got to his feet and looked at the body on the cold floor staring blindly at the ceiling. It looked awful covered in all that blood and saliva, and the clothes were completely soaked in sweat. The body looked destroyed but Simon felt sober and clear. He turned to Yumiko. She tilted her head. “How do you feel?” she said. He shrugged.
“Well. I’m dead,” he answered. “I guess I feel dead.”
“You stupid, stupid idiot,” she said and stood up. “You could have been something brilliant.” Yumiko opened the bathroom door and once again pushed her way through the crowd. This time no one saw her. Her existence went by unnoticed. She stayed for the screams at the discovery of the dead man in the bathroom before turning her back on the disaster. Putting her hands in her pockets, she walked away.
The phone rang.
“Hello…”
“Eric! When the f**k are you coming??” William shouted over the loud music in the background.
“She’s just having a quick shower, then I need one, then…”
“Say what? Eric, my man! Who’s having a quick shower, mate? Tell me all the details!”
Eric scratched his head, thinking of a good enough lie. “Just some girl,” he said, moving on quickly. “I’ll be there faster if you stop bothering me!”
“Alright, alright… Bring her with!” William shouted.
“Oh, you bet I will…”
“What? Too loud here!”
“I said: See you soon!”
Eric put the phone down and stretched out on the bed. He smiled to himself, delighted. He couldn’t wait to tell his brother. His smile quickly vanished. What if Will really liked her? A crease appeared between his eyebrows. Could it be that they were both falling for the same girl? “No,” he mumbled, “I’m not…”
Turning his head sideways he saw Kira sitting on a barstool wrapped in one of his towels. He quickly sat up again.
“I like your apartment. Retro,” she said and pointed at an orange clock hanging over the living room sofa. He chuckled. “My mum gave me that when I moved. I hate it, but she loves it, and I don’t feel like letting her down,” he explained.
“Oh?” she said, surprised. “I really liked it, though.”
“You’re crazy,” Eric said and smiled. He waved his hand in the air. “Then this is your dream home. Everything is second hand.”
Eric looked around the small apartment and frowned. Everything was old, worn out or broken. A blue curtain was all that separated the living room area from the kitchen, if you could even call it a kitchen. He turned his head to the pathetic corner where a mattress laid and pointed at it. “Sometimes I wish I lived bigger. It would be nice to have the luxury of a real bedroom.” He looked at the mattress on the floor. “It would be nice to have a real bed, even!” he laughed.
Kira smiled. “William could help you out,” she said, but Eric shook his head.
“No, I’ll be fine. I just have to finish my studies. After that I will move to something bigger.”
She smiled and stood up. “Well, I still like it.” She headed for the mirror in the hall and as she walked past him, Eric gasped. Deep scars and burned skin stretched from her neck all the way down to the small of her back. He closed his eyes and lowered his head. His mind raced. Did she have an abusive boyfriend? Was that the reason she lived with William?
“Eric, what’s wrong?”
He opened his mouth but quickly changed his mind. He didn’t dare to ask, at least not now. Standing up, he fixed his eyes on the floor and walked past her quickly.
“I’m going to… hit the shower, if that’s alright with you,” he said and stepped into the bathroom. Before closing the door he glanced back at her once more and for a split second, cold chills rushed through him.
The teenage girl locked the door to her room and sat down in front of her computer. She put a record on and started typing:
Dear someone.
I have waited for your response, but you don’t seem to notice me. Have you read my messages? Have you seen my hand, how it reaches out night after night in hope of being held?

She leaned back and gathered her thoughts. Behind her, a young woman sat on the floor blowing yellow chewing-gum bubbles. The girl in front of the computer failed to register the intruder and kept writing.
I have tried and tried. If you don’t believe me, check the history of this chat room and you will find me everywhere, reaching out for you, dear someone. I don’t understand how you can be so blind? How can you fail to see my desperate attempts to call for help?

The woman on the floor blew another bubble. With a loud pop it burst, but the girl typing her story heard nothing. It wasn’t time just yet.
Dear someone. When you eventually notice this, it will be on your conscience. I will be gone and you will wonder why you never answered. Yes, someone, I’m angry with you. I despise you for not catching me as I fall. It would have been so simple for you to save my life, but you chose not to.
Dear someone. Someone on this chat.
… Anyone?

She paused for a second staring at the screen, hoping for a reply. The music kept playing. The screen remained blank. She hit the keys hard, tears running down her face:
WHY DOESN’T ANYONE CARE???

She put her fist through the screen causing it to crack and flicker. She shook and sobbed hard, picking something up from her back pocket. The woman on the floor got to her feet and spitted the gum in the wastebasket. She studied the posters on the walls. All of them were torn to pieces, all dreams and hopes peeled away.
The girl by the computer gasped behind her and she turned. Crimson color gushed from open wounds slit vertically on each of her wrists. The tortured girl looked up at her. “Oh… I thought… I would have to do this on my own, too,” she said and stared at her own wrists.
“No, Bianca. I’ll stay with you.”
Bianca breathed slowly and blinked drowsily. “Your name is Laken. How do I know that?” she said and let the blunt knife fall to the floor. Laken picked it up and wiped the blood away. She put it on the desk and crouched in front of Bianca. Laken’s gaze was almost violet. She looked into Bianca’s green eyes and took her hands, letting the blood trickle over them both. For a moment, all that existed was the music still playing. Then Laken smiled. “Are you ready to go?” she said and squeezed Bianca’s hands reassuringly. Bianca nodded and glanced at her smashed screen. One hand left Laken’s. Bianca typed one last sentence. Laken watched her fingers move across the keys:
Remember me.

Then Bianca collapsed on the floor. Laken positioned the dying girl as comfortable as possible on the pink carpet. The blood was slithery and thick and she had to watch her step not to slip. Footsteps echoed in the corridor outside. She could hear Bianca’s parents call her name and bang hard on the door demanding her to open it. Laken looked down at the girl who smiled and nodded. Something shimmered above her for a second, and vanished. Laken sighed and stood up. She tried to wipe the blood from her hands and face, then walked over to the locked door and turned the key. Her parents stormed in while Laken watched the scene.
Bianca’s mother shrieked in horror and fainted. Her father walked as in a dream over to the body and fell to his knees beside his daughter.
Laken put her hand in her pocket and produced another chewing gum. She un-wrapped it as she watched the body of Bianca. She considered the positioning and decided she liked it. It looked peaceful enough. She blew a bubble and let it burst. No one noticed her. She put her hood up and left the room, crooning on the song Bianca had chosen for her last minutes in life. 

Will, I need to ask you something.”
Eric and his brother sat on the balcony drinking beer. Behind them, the party was in full swing.
“What do you wanna know?” William said.
“It’s about Kira.”
“Yeah, she told me you met! Eric, go for it. She’s worth the ride.”
“…. Oh. Okay… No! That’s not what I meant!” he said and waved his hands about. “I saw her back.”
“Yeah, nasty business.”
“Do you know who did it? I mean, it must take a lot to hurt someone like that…”
William tilted his chair back. “I met Kira at a bar a while back. We had a few beers and then headed for my place. When she left the next morning, I gave her my number. Four days later she called me, asking me if she could stay here for a while and of course I said yes. I mean, would you have said no?”
Eric shook his head and William continued. “Well, two hours later she stood in my hallway pale as a f*****g ghost. I helped her off with the jacket and she keeled over. I saw burns, bruises and blood and called an ambulance which came and… I suppose they patched her up. She seems fine now.”
Eric frowned. “She never told you what happened?”
William shook his head. “And now everything is back to normal like it never happened,” he muttered and rose. “It’s time to re-join the party, Eric.”

After a few too many shots, Eric lay in the sofa laughing. William was using the karaoke-machine bellowing something supposedly meant to resemble “A little less conversation”. He really was a shockingly bad singer but a great entertainer, dancing wildly in front of a very grateful audience. As he took a bow, Eric sat up straight and applauded him.
Then in the corner of his eye he spotted Kira. He wiped away the tears of laughter and glanced timidly at her. She was talking to a couple of girls, smiling politely. Almost as if feeling his eyes on her, she turned her head in his direction. Eric gulped and looked away. He couldn’t quite explain it but every time their paths had crossed during the evening, his surroundings had felt cold and eerie. Passing her brought him an uncanny sensation. So there he sat staring at the ceiling. William patted him on the back. “Thanks for the tremendous support, I really needed it. Oh, especially thanks for laughing your a*s off!” he said and gave Eric a meaningful stare but Eric wasn’t paying him any attention. He once more glanced at Kira. She gave him a crooked smile and disappeared in the mass of people. He stood up and scanned the crowd. Unsteadily he started walking and as he turned a corner he spotted her in the dimly lit hallway, leaned against a wall.
Eric stopped and hesitated. His heart and mind were filled to the brim with excitement. At the same time caution fought for a place where it could be heard. The sane part of Eric tried to resist the urge to walk over. She inclined her head at him, polite but slyly, and walked inside William’s guestroom. Eric’s sanity lost and he followed.
He closed the door and stared at his own hand resting on the door knob. A little too frightened to look around he cleared his throat.
“So… Are you having fun?” he said, still facing the door. He could hear her move about and wondered what she was doing.
“Excuse me?” she answered.
“Yeah, at the party.”
“Oh, the party. Yes, the party is fun. I’m getting to know people. People are fun.”
Eric smiled a little and relaxed. He turned around and Kira’s ice-blue crystals focused on him but this time he courageously returned the stare. “Can I ask you something?” he began, but as Kira closed in on him and put her hands on his torso, he lost his focus and coughed.
“What do you want, Eric?” Kira asked while running her fingers over his chest, arms and up his neck. He determinedly harrumphed and continued. “Your, uhm, back. The scars.”
“Yes?”
Eric raised his eyebrows high and looked at her. “What do you mean ‘yes’? What the hell happened?” he said, taking a step back.
Kira sat down on the bed.
“I hope you’re planning on leaving that dude. He’s crazy.”
She sighed, took his hand and tugged at it. He sunk down next to her and she leaned against his shoulder. “I’m as single as a girl can get,” she said laying down, her head in his lap. He hesitated for a second and then ran his fingers through her thick blonde hair. But no matter how lovely this was, he still couldn’t get the image of her burned back out of his mind. He clenched his fist in anger. “I hope you have someone to talk to…”
She sighed deeply and turned in his lap, looking up at him. “I’m fine, there is nothing to…”
“Damn it, Kira, “Eric said pushing her away, “I don’t think you have anyone, so you will not leave this room until you talk to me,” he said.
Kira smiled at him. “Is that so?”
“We’re not leaving this room until you let me help you,” Eric continued crossing his arms. Kira sat up next to him, watching him keenly. Beginning to loose his confidence he tried again. “I’m serious! Talk to me, tell me what the hell has…”
Kira leaned forward and her lips met his. A hundred different feelings battled for space in the depths of his heart and mind. Her hands searched his and fingers entwined. Eric inhaled heavily and no scars or burns mattered any more. All that mattered was filling the void between them. Eric panted and tried to resist the temptation one last time, closed his eyes, tried to do the right thing, to focus, to…
Wake up, bro!”
With a distinct taste of alcohol in his mouth and with a headache larger than life, Eric forced his eyes open and had a look around. Surrounded by beer bottles he found himself in a twisted position on the bed in William’s guestroom.
“You look like crap my friend,” William said and gave him a glass of water. “Didn’t see you much last night. What happened?”
Eric tried to recall last night’s events but simply couldn’t. He sat up, rubbed his eyes and drank the water. “I don’t really remember,” he said, looking lost. “Nothing comes to mind.”
“Did you really drink that much?” William responded and leaned against the wall. Eric scanned his memory for a while with a puzzled expression on his face. William looked at him with his arms crossed over his chest. “What about Kira?”
Eric stared at the wall in front of him. He creased his forehead as the memories started to return, one after one. “I have to think for a while, it’s all… helter-skelter up here,” he said and pointed at his own head. Slowly putting the pieces together he found the face of Kira among his many memories of the day before. He scented roses and remembered the taste of cider, soft lips, and smooth skin… He got to his feet quickly.
“Oh no!” he yelled, “I’m such an idiot!” Eric rushed out of the room with William close after. He hastily put his jacket and shoes on.
“Wait a minute, what are you… What’s up dude?” William said and Eric faced him.
“I slept with her. I think I did.”
“Good for you!”
“Yeah… I mean no! Not good at all! I wanted her to tell me about the scars but she kissed me and I fell for it like a f*****g idiot! I’m such a looser!” he said opening the door. William grabbed him by the arm.
“Calm the f**k down!”
“I need to find her, don’t I? Tell her I’m sorry for being the typical male?” he said but William shook his head. “You didn’t force her, why apologize?” The phone rang and William picked it up. “You stay put, alright?”
Eric nodded and thought about last night. He didn’t like it. He would much rather be without memories than having these. He had not been a gentleman, far from it. Miles from it. He put his head in his hands and sighed. What a disaster.
William got off the phone, looking numb.
“Who was it? What’s the matter?” Eric asked.
“Dad suffered a heart attack last night,” William answered.
“Oh…”
“He’s dead.”
Time stood still for a while. Eventually, Eric opened the door. “Come on. Let’s visit mum.”
Veronica Field was sitting in an uncomfortable chair staring at the opposite wall. There was a vending machine in the room and it would only take her five steps to reach it but she couldn’t move. She was hungry but didn’t realize it. She was tired but couldn’t sleep. The phone in her purse had been ringing several times but moving her arms felt too difficult. She had thought about having a cigarette to calm her nerves but felt it was highly inappropriate due to last night’s events.

A young woman passed her by. She opened her mouth but didn’t seem to know how to speak properly. The woman stopped and tilted her head. “Can I get you some water?” she said and Veronica nodded gratefully. Coins were put into the machine and two thuds sounded. The woman bent down and picked up two bottles of mineral water. She opened them both and they drank in silence. Veronica sighed and smiled. “Thank you…”
“No problem. It’s hard to do the simplest of things when you’re sad,” the woman said staring at the wall. Veronica chuckled. “I must look like a mess.”
“You’ll get better.”
Veronica shrugged. “I guess you’re right. It just feels so hard. I loved him. He has always been there for me and now he’s gone forever,” she said and quickly wiped the tears away.
“Yeah. This is a change you never asked for, but a change still. You need to adapt. It will take some time but you'll be okay. Won’t you?”
Veronica watched the bubbles for a while, thinking about it. She nodded. “I’ll be just fine. My life is not over. Far from it,” she said and smiled. “I’m just afraid of what people will think of me if I don’t cry enough, mourn enough… What if they think of me as selfish?”
The young woman smiled widely. “Then they’re bad friends. Who decided sadness must be the answer to all of this?” she mused. Veronica looked at her and extended her hand. “My name is Veronica.” The woman shook it. “Kira.”
“Kira? I’ve heard your name before…”
“I live with your son. With Will.” Veronica looked surprised and Kira continued. “He introduced us to each other a while ago but I understand if you don’t remember me that well, and...”
“Are you his girlfriend?” Veronica interrupted, smiling happily. Kira laughed a little and shook her head.
“That’s too bad! I really like you, Kira.”

William and Eric entered the hospital and rang the bell at the reception. Waiting for the nurse, William looked at his brother. “So how was she?”
“Stop,” Eric warned. William pinched him.
“Will, what the hell?!” William pinched him again.
”Alright! It was great! I loved it! Are you happy now?”
“She’s really something. It’s such a rush… Don’t you think?”
Eric turned away, blushing. “It was okay, I suppose…You're sick for discussing this right now.”
The nurse led them through a long, narrow corridor. Eric felt William glance in his direction and sighed. “What now?”
“Do you want me to back off?” he asked and Eric nodded.
“Yeah, back off with all the questions, that’d be great, thanks.”
William quieted down for a while but then hawked annoyingly. Eric stopped and stared angrily at him. “What?!”
“I meant me being close to Kira. Do you want me to back off?” he said and smiled.
The nurse looked at them both. “Shall we… continue?”
William waved his hand dismissively. “One second,” he said and Eric rolled his eyes. “Come on Eric. You’ve met her once or twice but it’s already written all over you. You dig her.”
Eric blushed and quickly turned to the nurse who was now smiling, too. He grunted. “Can we please go and take care of mum?” The nurse nodded politely and scurried along.
As they reached their mother, they hugged her and sat down.
“Hey mum,” Eric said holding her hand, “We’re so sorry.”
She looked at her sons and smiled. “Your father was a good man, you know. Learn from him.”
“Have you eaten anything?” William asked.
“I have eaten and I’m fine. Honestly, boys!” she said and smiled even bigger. The brothers glanced at each other confused. “So... everything’s alright with you? Are you ready to head home?” Eric asked.
“I’ll miss your father but Kira helped me realize that life goes on,” she said and stood up. William’s eyes widened. “What??”
A door opened and Kira stepped out into the waiting room. A doctor was talking to her and Eric picked up words like ‘long time to heal’ and ‘no sudden movements’ and ‘if you need someone to talk to…’ Veronica poked William in the side. “You should date her!”
He glanced at Eric who turned red. Kira approached them with a smile on her face but as William reached out to hug her she took a step back. “Oh, I get it! You’ve just checked those… Are you alright?” William said and run his fingers through her hair. Eric watched them in the corner of his eye and felt oddly jealous.
“It hurts a little but I’ll manage,” Kira said and Eric saw her caressing his cheek. He pressed his jaws together and put his hands in his pockets. “Shall we go, then?”
They all walked out into the daylight. Eric followed the three smiling people, feeling slightly concerned. He was happy his mother found some peace in this mess, he truly was. But still.
This was not how things ought to work.
Yumiko waved from her seat at the round table to Gabriel and Laken who were approaching. Beside them another man stood. Yumiko waved happily. “Hello David. How are you?”
David ran his fingers through his messy dark hair and gave her a jagged smile. “Life is decent. And you?” he answered taking a seat together with his friends. Yumiko shrugged. “I’m fine, just a little sad. You see, I dealt with this man who was a drug addict and I tried to help him, but…”
Everyone around the table sighed.
“Yumi, you can’t do that,” Laken said and shook her head disapprovingly, “because you will only end up alone and heart-broken.”
“I know…” Yumiko mumbled. “I just really wanted him to change. Once or twice it would feel nice to just let them… work themselves out instead of...”
David snorted and waved his hand at the waitress. “That’s not our choice. We simply pass them on, nothing fancier. We can’t keep them from dying, can we?” he said and looked at Laken and Gabriel.
“Of course not,” Gabriel said and turned to look at Yumiko, “And what you do is insane. I only go to my people a few minutes before they’re supposed to go, or else I’ll get to know them and that’s…”
“… wrong?”

Everyone raised their heads. Kira looked at Gabriel, frowned a little and sat down. “I like the way she does it,” she said and nodded at Yumiko who blushed. David laughed sharply. “Of course you do.”
“Yeah, I do. Have you got a problem with that?”
“What do you think?”
“Wait a minute, you guys,” Yumiko tried but was cut off.
“David, I don’t want your opinions shoved in my face all the time. Just because you’re supposed to teach me this stuff, you don’t have the right to…”
“May… I take your order?”
She looked up and saw the waitress standing at their table. After ordering, Gabriel looked at Kira and smiled. “It’s good to see you again,” he said.
“It definitely is,” Laken agreed, “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” Kira lied and David rolled his eyes.
“You’re fine? Because I remember lifting you up from a bathtub filled with charcoal,” he said with gritted teeth. Yumiko gasped and held her hands over her mouth.
“David, stop it,” Laken demanded, “you’re not helping.”
He quieted down reluctantly. The beverages arrived. Taking a sip of whiskey, Gabriel leaned back and sighed. He was just about to speak when Kira shook her head. “I’m not changing my mind,” she stated watching her own hands shake.
“But…”
“I can’t.”

An uncomfortable silence spread across the table. Kira leaned forward and put her head in her hands. Carefully, David leaned back and ran a finger down her spine. She shivered, took his hand by the wrist and stared at him. He raised his free hand in defense.
“I just want to…”
“I told you I’m fine!”
“And I don’t believe you,” David said and freed himself from her. She looked at him, tears gathering in her blue eyes. “You need them to grow back, and you need…” David started.
“I’d better leave,” Kira interrupted him and stood up.
“No, please don’t!” Yumiko said.
“I’m being too judged for something I can’t help,” Kira muttered. David stood up next to her. “But you’re wrong! You can help this! Let us be there for you,” he begged. Looking into her eyes, David saw confusion and fear.
“I know you mean well…” she told him, “but I’m just…not like you.” She turned and started walking. David cursed under his breath and sat down again.
Laken took a sip of her drink and watched Kira walk out the door. “I don’t think she’ll change her mind,” she said.
“I guess you're right,” Gabriel responded.
“So, what do you say, Gabe?” she said and looked at him. He looked back and after a while slowly inclined his head.
“Yes,” he said, “now we do it your way.

One week went by. The funeral of Eric’s father happened with men and women in black clothing having tea and biscuits, sharing memories that suddenly seemed important and relevant.
Two months went by. Eric lived at the library. Eric ate pizza slices at 7eleven and then went straight back to the library. Exams came and went, results came and went. He managed yet another semester with no big surprises, excitements or stories to tell. Life was studies. Library was life. He lived it.

Eric waited in line at 7-eleven when the phone rang. “Yeah, what do you want?”
“Is this Eric Field?”
The world disappeared around him, everything on mute, he heard his own heart beat. “Kira.”
“Good, good, I’ve got the right number. Where are you?” she said.
“At… the library,” he told her and she hung up. “Hello? Hello?” He put the phone in his pocket, paid for the gum and coffee and headed back. He crossed the street, hurried up the stairs and walked inside. Opening his books, his thoughts wandered to Kira. Why had she called? Half an hour went by. He read his books over and over again, making a thousand notes. After a while he sipped his coffee and grimaced. It was tepid and tasted terrible. Sighing deeply, he pushed his chair back and was on his way to rise when someone blocked his way. Kira pierced him with her icy stare. He breathed in and forced himself to look the other way. “Kira! Ah, hi there, haven’t seen you in a while,” he managed. She sat down and put new coffee in front of him.
“Thought you might need this,” she said and smiled.
“Yeah, I do,” Eric said and grinned at her. He leaned closer. “Listen. I’m really sorry for what happened at Will’s party. I’m not normally like that.”
“You mean you’re not normally so rough... or you don’t normally fall asleep afterwards?” Kira said and smiled provocatively. Eric shifted uncomfortably where he sat. “Both…”
Kira’s hand moved to his. “Will’s in Florida for two weeks,” she said and started running her fingers over his arm. “He said you’d gladly take me in for a while.”
Eric’s mouth went dry. He heard himself answer ‘of course’, he felt them stand up and leave the library. Outside reality caught up with him as they made their way to the subway, going home together. As they sat down on the train Kira took his arm gently, leaning on it. He sat perfectly still, letting her rest for five stations. They walked to the pizzeria, ordered a vesuvio and a chicken salad to go, entered his flat, had dinner and leaned back in the sofa, satisfied.
It felt natural in one way, completely strange in another. She was with him. She held his hand, not William’s. Everything was perfect. Still he felt uneasy.
“Hey…” he begun and she looked at him, “I was wondering… if you could tell me a little about yourself,” he continued while resting a hand on her leg, moving it up and down.
“Why?” she responded and Eric sighed. “Well, you came into our lives just like that. You lived with William for a long time and now you move on to me. I know your name but that’s it.”
“Well, I only know your name and I think that’s enough. I’ve got nothing to fear. You’re not dangerously violent, even if you like it rough,” she said and Eric blushed.
“What do you want to know?” she said, positioning herself with her head in his lap. He watched her body. He didn’t want to talk. He wanted to touch and feel, but looked away and went on. “Why are you hiding here?” he said, glancing out the window.
“Who says I’m hiding? I’m not. Not really. I just need a break,” she said, changing position. He looked back and saw bandages over her back through the thin material of her blouse. He asked her about the break.
“Just from my life, you know. Sometimes you wonder where you’re going and if you’re making the right decisions. When reality becomes too real you need to get away to view it all from a distance,” she explained and made herself even more comfortable in his lap.
“Yeah, okay. I can buy that…” He was lost for words again.
“Where do you want me?” she said and he pointed towards the bed.
“You’re not sleeping on this couch, that’s murder,” he said, smiling a little.
“I’m not that easy to kill,” she whispered and winked at him. She walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Eric, tired from a long exhausting day, drifted off.
He dreamed of his teacher having an exam, just for him. He handed in the paper, sweating as he watched the red marker point out all his errors. The teacher sighed and shook his head disapprovingly.
Eric dreamed of the ocean, a clear blue ocean that became two pair of eyes watching him closely. Kira was entering his dream, her eyes digging deep, reaching for his heart and squeezing it between small fingers. He gasped for air and begged her to stop. She kissed him and watched him take his last breath. And now he was floating in pitch black nothingness and the only thing he could feel were Kira’s hands moving over his body.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered softly, “but this is what I do.”

With a jerk Eric entered reality again breathing heavily, sweat running off his face. It was four in the morning and Kira was asleep. He went into the bathroom to have some water but didn’t reach the sink before throwing up over the floor. Pictures flickered in his mind. Short, fast images of blood and violence appeared before his eyes. He screamed in agony and he cried the tears of Kira. He saw the blood on her hands, soot on the floor and he felt his own back burn. It was unbearable.
Eric began questioning what was reality or not and tried to touch Kira where she sat, covered in blood. His hands went right through her and the images disappeared. He lifted the toilet lid and made another effort to vomit, spewing phlegm.
“It’s in your blood,” he heard a man whisper and he spun around, frightened.
The images appeared again. Kira sat on the floor and a man was looking down on her. “This will change nothing,” he said, lifted her to her feet and ran his fingers down her back. “You idiot, you’ve destroyed them all.”
The images faded and Eric’s head hit the floor. Hyperventilating, he tried his very best to hold still. For ten minutes he lay there before getting to his feet. He cleaned the floor with shaky hands before leaving the bathroom.
He lay down on the sofa and watched Kira and he wondered, as he slowly drifted off again, what on earth was going on.
Eric woke to the smell of coffee. Kira put a cup down in front of him and tied her shoes.
“Where are you going?” Eric said, taking a sip.
“I’ve got a few things to sort out. Do you want to have lunch with me today?”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Okay,” she said, “I’ll call you at noon.”
Eric nodded and she left the flat. He glanced at the bathroom next to the front door and shivered. Although he felt much better this morning, the memories of last night still lingered. Shaking it off, he turned the TV on and was trapped in front of two episodes of Star Trek.

Kira was in a bad mood. Looking through a girl’s magazine on the examining table at the hospital, she moved awkwardly. Her back was itching. The doctor washed his hands. “How are we feeling today?” he said while she lay down on her stomach.
“Can you please scratch my back?” she answered and he chuckled.
“Well now, that wouldn’t be very wise,” he said, unfolding the bandages. “You really have to wait for the swelling to subside before…” He stopped. “Oh.”
Kira creased her eye brows. “What?”
The doctor touched her backside gently. “Well, I was expecting the healing process to be somewhat… slower. They’re… almost gone,” he said, surprised and confused.
“What? What’s almost gone?” Kira asked as the doctor helped her up. He turned away from her, putting his glasses in his breast pocket. “You may put your sweater on,” he said, “I don’t think… you need me anymore.”
Kira quickly dressed. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on or not?” she said.
“Kira, the burn marks are almost gone. You’re healing very, very fast. I have never seen anything like it. I’m not even sure it’s humanly possible to…”
“Shut up, I’m pretty sure I’m human!” she said and the doctor sighed. “I’m just… surprised. I’m sure there is a perfectly natural explanation to all of this, I just… haven’t found it yet.”
Kira pursed her lips. “Perfectly natural explanation? You have no idea what you’re talking about! How… how can I trust you if you can’t even tell me what’s wrong? I thought healing fast was good! Wasn’t that the plan, to get better? But now that I am getting better, that’s wrong? I don’t get it!” she yelled, took her jacket off the hanger and slammed the door behind her on her way out. She could hear the nurse rushing after her and she picked up the pace. Outside the hospital she ran the fastest she could, only stopping to catch her breath as she reached the park. She leaned against a huge tree trunk and breathed out. She sank to the ground, put her head in her tiny hands and cried her heart out. Nobody saw her. Nobody knew. Nobody felt her pain and nobody would be able to comfort her enough now. What she wanted no one could give her. The wounds were healing. The skin was mending itself. Everything was getting better, and Kira just felt worse.

Eric waited for half an hour at the restaurant. He tried to call her but there was no answer. He had just ordered another beer when Kira arrived. Her tired eyes and fake smile made him sad and worried. “Kira, what’s…” She shook her head at him and opened the menu.
“Just talk to me. Please,” he said, watching her shift uncomfortably in her seat. “What’s up? Who made you this upset?”
“I’m not upset,” Kira said, avoiding his eyes. “I’m not.”
Eric sighed. She gave him an angry stare, sending chills down his spine. “I’m not upset!” she repeated. Eric lowered his gaze. He felt a pang of sympathy for her. It must be so stressful being so alone. At the same time he felt angry. He had opened his heart to her. He had given her his bed and she was free to come and go just as she pleased. How could she deny him her secret after all that he had done for her?
“Any news from Will?” Kira asked after a while. Eric shrugged.
“He told me he went there to see a girl,” she continued and smiled. “Can’t imagine Will in love. Then I’d definitely have to move out, wouldn’t I? Three’s a crowd, huh??”
Eric put his beer down and crossed his arms. “For f**k sake, Kira, stop pretending to be okay when you’re not!” he snapped at her. Kira stopped eating, surprised at his sudden outbreak. “I’m not…”
“Yes, you are! You’re avoiding talking about what happened today.”
“Nothing happened today…”
Eric pushed his chair back, frustrated. “I’m going to the restroom and when I get back, we’re talking about this!” he said turning his back on her, walking away.
In the restroom he soaked his face with cold water and looked deeply into the mirror. He was concerned and angry at the same time. He knew he had no right demanding anything from her but still felt unfairly treated.
Sighing, he headed back to the table…

Which now was empty.
Sienna pointed at the Chinese restaurant at the corner of the building and lit a cigarette. “They went in there,” she said.
David put his black gloves on and breathed in. He let out a deep sigh. “which brother?” he asked.
“The younger one.”
David nodded. “Eric Field. How wonderful,” he muttered sarcastically. 

Sienna looked at him through her darkgray intense eyes while putting her thick, black hair into a ponytail. 
“Can I ask you a question?” Sienna said and looked at him.
“Ask away.”
“Why do you still hang around?”
David coughed a little and frowned. “Laken have a plan,” he tried, but Sienna laughed dryly. “A plan you don’t have to be involved in. A plan working perfectly fine without you. So why do you linger, one might wonder? Is it curiosity? Is it by fear of what might be?” She moved closer and put her hands on his torso. “Is it… love?”
David’s eyes gave away the truth quickly and she grinned. Her finger played over his chest. “You can’t leave because of what you feel. Love and passion drives you on. Love and passion for a girl who will never be yours.”
David ceased her by the wrists. She smiled and leaned forward. He eased his grip and put his hands on her waist. “I can have passion for other things too, Sienna.” He whispered in her ear. Just as he was about to kiss her, her eyes shifted to the restaurant. “There,” she whispered and David turned his head. Kira was hurrying from the restaurant, tears streaming down her face. Sienna removed David’s hands.
“Go get her,” she said and threw her cigarette on the ground. She watched him go and sighed. “What a waste.”

It was dark in the alley. Kira sat down in the inner corner and cried. Footsteps echoed in the dark and she felt a familiar kind of warmth surround her. She dried her tears quickly and watched the different shades of black before her.
“Hello David,” she said quietly. He moved to her side and sat down.
“Hey. What are you doing here?”
“None of your business,” Kira mumbled and David sighed.
“Are you still mad at me?”
“What are you doing here?” Kira repeated in a shaky voice, “How did you find me?”
“Sienna did. She saw you with Eric and called Laken,” David told her.
“Ah. She called Laken. So, once again… why are you here?”
“Thanks for that, darling.”
“I’m not your darling.”
David’s jaw muscles tightened. Her grabbed Kira by the arm and rose. “Come on, it’s time to…” She jerked loose and sobbed heavily. “I don’t want you here!”
David breathed in and let it out in a deep, irritated sigh. Her words hurt more than she could imagine. He dragged her to her feet and exhausted she rested against the wall. Standing in front of her, she could feel his anger boil.
“You cut yourself pretty badly. You burned your own skin,” he said and let one hand move to her back but she pressed it hard against the wall, determined not to let him touch. “Are you healing?”
“No, the doctor told me it will take weeks. I think the charcoals did the trick,” she said almost proud.
“Yes, they probably did,” David said and took his hand off her. He took a step closer and she breathed in. “What are you hiding from me, Kira?”
“Nothing.”
“Is your back already fine? Is that it?” he asked searching for truth in her eyes.
“No,” she whispered, “it will take months!”
David blinked and smiled satisfied. “Just a second ago you said weeks, not months. Are you lying to me?”
“I’ve already told you…”
“Oh you’re lying, Kira…” He grabbed her arm, reaching for her back. With her free hand she hit him hard over the face and he staggered back. David grinned. Walking quickly over to her again, he pushed her up against the wall and put his lips to her ear. “You can hurt yourself as often as you like. You can hide behind a wall of caring human beings. You can pretend to be alright, whatever makes you happy. It still won’t change you. Soon you’re just like me and no one will understand. Don’t try to adapt. It’s so humiliating,” he said, turned and walked away. The warmth was gone and she sank to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.
“Kira? Are you in here?”
Eric. Kira got to her feet and hurried towards him. “How did you find me?”
Eric shielded her from the cold and kissed her forehead. “I asked around. A lot. A man spotted you heading this way so I followed and hoped for the best. I don’t want to loose you,” he said and Kira cried even more.
“But that would be so much better for you…” she said and took a step back. She suddenly realized the meaning of the words she had just said. “Oh… That’s what I should do… I should leave you alone.” She dried her tears and prepared herself for a brave farewell.
Then she felt it. A quick stab in her back made her topple over. She quickly steadied herself against the nearest wall. Eric didn’t notice and moved closer to her again.
“I don’t understand, I want you here, you don’t have to…”
Like a knife cutting patterns in her skin, Kira grunted and fell forward, screaming. “It hurts… Eric, it hurts!! Make it stop!”
Eric’s eyes widened as he saw blood through her shirt. He ran out of the alley, shouting and waving his hands about.

“Ambulance! Someone call an ambulance!!”

David closed the door behind him and locked it carefully. He slowly walked across the room and separated the curtains one by one, letting the moonlight in.
“I brought you some food”, he said, looking out the window.
“No thank you.”
“Just eat something, alright?”
“I’d much rather eat at the hospital, you know.”
David sighed deeply. “Just eat your god damn food…”
They were both quiet for a while.
“How long have I been here?”
David turned around. Kira was sitting at the end of his bed now, watching him with resentment in her eyes. He shrugged. “Six weeks. Time to eat something solid and on your o…”
“You took me from the hospital”, she stated and he sighed again.
“What else was there to do?”
“How about leaving me in the very good care of proficient doctors?” she snapped.
David shook his head and started unpacking the groceries. Kira stood up. “I would have been fine there!” she yelled and hit David hard in the back. He dropped a packet of rise on the floor but kept calm. He could hear Kira’s frustration through her approaching tears. “They would have taken care of me, patched me together again and… and… Eric would have come and…”
David turned to face her with fury in his eyes. “He doesn’t know you!” he yelled.
“But he cares!” Kira yelled back, raising a hand in the air again. He seized it and threw her backwards. “Sit down and listen to me!”
Kira fell onto the bed and quieted down.
“What you are doing,” David started with his back to Kira, “is a disgrace to all that we stand for. What you are doing is shameful.” He turned around, looking her in the eyes. “Why, Kira? Why do you do this?”
“Because I…” Kira began, searching for the right words to say, “Because I’m terrified. I… When you and I… they go right in front of me. When my patterns are done then everywhere I go, people will fall to their knees, begging me to...”
“You’re not killing them…” David told her.
“But I’m the one forced to watch them…”
“Kira… Life isn’t fair. This is what we do. It’s in your blood.”
“.... No.”
“Do you want to die!?” David yelled and Kira flinched.
“No, but…”
“Then stop killing yourself,” he said and went to the kitchen.
Kira stared at the opposite wall for a while. “I’m sorry, David. I’m feeling much better thanks to you. Thank you for taking care of me.”
“No problem”, she heard David respond from the kitchen.
“I’m really fine now though”, she continued. David didn’t answer. “I’m… well enough to leave”, she ventured carefully and heard David fall completely silent. She swallowed hard and stood up. “So… Thanks.” Kira hurried towards the front door and turned the handle. Her heart sunk in her chest. The door was locked. David wiped his hands on the dish-cloth and walked towards her. “Where are you going?” he said, suppressing his ire the best he found possible. Kira’s tears streamed down her face. “I can’t do this,” she said, sinking to the floor beside the door. “I can’t be you or Gabriel. I can only be me and you can’t force me to…”
“It’s going to build inside of you until you can’t take it anymore. You can’t handle this alone. You need me.”
Kira leaned her head against the door, looking away. “I need someone, yes.”
“Good, then maybe…”
“But I don’t need you.”
David felt her stab deep inside and fell silent. He wanted to grab a hold of her, shake her around, let anger rule, but…
“Fine”, he said and put his hand in his pocket. Kira heard the key turn and the door unlock. David turned the handle and she had to steady herself not to fall out as the door opened. She looked up at David who watched her resentfully. After a while he turned and walked into the apartment again.
“Do what you want. You always do. Just don’t come screaming when the pain hit you wave after wave after wave.”

“HAPPY TWENTY FIFTH BIRTHDAY ERIC!”

The room was crowded with people clapping their hands and raising their glasses at him. William handed over a bottle of wine. “Twenty-five, Eric! You’re a big boy now!”
Eric laughed. “Thank you!” he said, raising the bottle. The guests cheered happily and the music was turned back on. Eric followed William into the kitchen and rummaged through William’s drawers.
“Your parties…” Eric said shaking his head and smiling, “They’re insane. Do I even know all these people?”
William laughed. “Who cares? Get drunk, have fun and relax. Tonight, you’re just Eric, twenty-five years old,” he said. His expression sobered. “Eric. I really mean it. You’ve been down ever since Kira disappeared. It’s been a while now.”
Eric knew this was true. “You’re right. It’s time to let go,” he said and uncorked the wine.

Later on, the brothers ended up on the balcony as usual. Eric swayed back and forth, holding on to the railing smoking a cigar. ”Well, I don’t think it fair,” he mumbled, waving the cigar in the air, “that you’ve got this great, great, great career while I’ve got nothing. I mean, I’m excellent! I’m a catch!” he said, watching his brother tilt his chair back and smile. “You’re a catch,” William repeated.
“Yeah, I am, you’re right!” Eric told him and held his arms in the air. “It’s unfair that I haven’t got a job yet. I need one. My apartment is like… so lousy.”
William burped. “I can get you something better…”
“Noooo,” Eric said, “I want to do it myself. You know why?”
“Why?”
“Because I’m capable, that’s why. That is why, my friend.” Eric finished his wine and grimaced. “I’ll be right back…”
He gave his cigar to William, grinned, and turned around.
“Hi.”
Kira stood in the door opening, biting her lip a little embarrassed. Eric staggered back and tripped over William who was just getting up. He gripped the railing behind him and watched William reach out to give Kira a big hug. “You have no idea how happy we are to see you! Aren’t we, Eric?” He couldn’t answer and William continued. “Where have you been? Why haven’t you contacted us?”
“I’ve been at a… hospital for… uhm...” she tried but trailed off and Eric felt anger and disappointment become predominant. She was a bad, bad liar... Kira noticed his frown, swallowed hard and steadied her voice a bit.“They took care of me and gave me the proper treatment. My phone was broken and I got a new with a… a new... I lost my old numbers, so... Yeah,” she said and glanced quickly at Eric who rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.
“So this… hospital… place… Where is it exactly?” he said.
“Oh, it’s far from here, I don’t think you know the place,” she said and blushed.
“Try me.”
“Uhm...”
He shook his head and walked past her. William put his arm around her. “He has missed you terribly. He’s a cranky old b*****d at the moment. Let him drink some more, then go and see him.”

An hour later, Kira popped her head around the corner carefully and saw Eric sitting in the sofa chatting happily with his friends. She approached them with caution but Eric waved at her to come and join. With a sigh of relief, she sat down next to him. Time went by quickly. Kira’s hand rested close to Eric and after a while he took it in his. She leaned her head on his shoulder. Eric’s other hand moved to her leg. He fastened his grip on her. William watched them from a distance. He saw them stand up, walk up the stairs, step into the bathroom and close the door.
“What a pity,” he said to himself, “but there are plenty of fish in the sea.” He turned his back on them and let them have their privacy.

Eric lay on the floor, panting. Kira smiled at him and turned the shower on. “You didn’t fall asleep this time,” she said and grinned. She stepped into the hot water and Eric chuckled. “No, I sure didn’t,” he said. He stood up next to her and ran his fingers over her body. She gave him a green bottle. “Do my back,” she said. Eric put some lotion in his hands and she turned around. He halted and creased his forehead. After a while, Kira turned her head.“What’s wrong?” she said. He touched her spine and she started turning around. “No, wait,” he said and had another look. She felt his fingers dance across her skin, almost as if following certain patterns…

… Patterns?

She breathed in and spun around, staring at him with cold eyes.
“What is that?” Eric said and tried to have another peek, but Kira pressed herself against the wall. “Give me a towel,” she demanded. Eric handed it over and watched her dry her body. She felt his eyes on her. “My clothes…”
“What?”
Kira pushed Eric aside and quickly dressed. She unlocked the door. Eric put a hand on her shoulder. “When did you…?”
“Just drop it,” she told him, pressing her jaws together. He looked at her in disbelief. “Let go, Eric…”
He reluctantly lifted his hand and she flung the door open, storming out of the bathroom with Eric after her.
“Stop following me, this is… Don’t touch me!”
William met them half way down the stairs. Kira tried to move past him but he dragged her back upstairs and Eric followed. They entered the small office and William closed the door.
“What’s going on?” he said, looking at them.
“I don’t know, ask her!”
“Just let me out of here!” Kira hissed.
“No way,” William began, “you just got back, don’t disappear on us again.”
She sighed, crossed her arms and looked out the window.
“Don’t shut me out,” Eric begged. “just tell me what’s happened to your back.
William stared at Kira. “Is it hurting again?”
“Well, I don’t really know what to call it, but she’s got tat…”
Kira put her heal on Eric’s foot and he screamed. “Oh, you mother f*****g..!!” He pointed accusingly at her. “You’ve got tattoos suddenly appearing, out of nowhere might I add, on your back! There! I said it! What are you gonna do about it?” he said, triumphantly. In rage Kira launched out, hit him hard over the mouth and continued attacking until William locked her arms in a tight grip. Eric stood up. “Okay, I’ve had it with you! You’re crazy, disrespectful, dangerous…”
“Disrespectful?” Kira shouted.
“Yes! We took you in, sheltered you, cared for you… This is how you repay us?” he said and pointed at his bleeding lip.
There was a knock on the door and Eric reached for the handle. “Yeah, yeah, Will’s right here…” he said and Kira gasped as Gabriel entered the room. He watched Kira intently for a split second but then smiled and shook hands with William. “Sorry I got here so late,” he said and William shook his hand. He looked at Eric with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Congratulations,” he said and inclined his head politely.
“Oh, this is my brother Eric,” William said, “and this…”
“Hello, what a nice surprise,” Gabriel said and took a step closer. “We’ve known each other a long time. Right, Kira?” he said and squeezed her hand hard. “Wonderful to see you again,” he continued, ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her on the cheek. Eric felt sick.
“Gabriel advertises for my company at the moment!” William explained, patting Gabriel on the back. “You should see his work! Incredible!”
“Yeah, I bet…” Kira mumbled.
Eric cleared his throat. “So, back to you and Kira,” he said and she rolled her eyes and sat down in the office chair. “How do you know each other, exactly?”
Gabriel’s smile widened. “We were a couple, years ago. Then we moved from lovers to friends, from friends to acquaintances, and that’s where we are today.” He turned to Kira. “I heard you were ill! David told me. Do you remember David?” he said and tried to hide his sarcasm. Kira gave him a cold stare. “Yeah, he was a wonderful… nurse.”
“He told me you could hardly stay put!” Gabriel said and gave her a theatrical chuckle. “He said it felt like you wanted to sneak off in the middle of the night! Like you would ever do something as crazy as that! I don’t think so! Am I right or am I right?”
Kira tried desperately to kill him in her mind… “Oh, Gabe! Of course I wouldn’t do that. David was wonderful,” she responded and stopped herself from grimacing. William and Eric looked confused. “One thing though… “ Eric said slowly. “If you’re such good pals, how come you didn’t visit her when she was sick? I thought friends took care of each other. You not visiting don’t really sound too friendly and…”
“Soooo how about a beer or two?” William interrupted and opened the door. Gabriel watched Kira where she sat. “Absolutely! I just want to catch up with this little wonder first. It’s been far too long since I last saw her,” he said and put one hand on her head.
“Alright then!” William said and dragged a struggling Eric out of the room. “See you in a bit!” He closed the door and faced his brother. “What the hell, Eric?”
“He’s weird,” Eric whispered.
“I know him better than you! He’s a f*****g gentleman. Back off. Go and have another beer, you’re not drunk enough…”

Gabriel took a few steps closer to Kira.
“Nice move,” Kira said quietly without looking at him.
“Likewise.”
He dragged her to her feet. Without speaking he unbuttoned her shirt. His hands searched their way back to her spine. Following it up, he sighed with relief and took a step back. “It won’t be long now.”
She snorted at him.
“Don’t be like that, Kira! Remember what David told you.”
She looked at him. “I remember. I just don’t care.”
“When you start loosing your mind, you’ll see the truth in his words,” Gabriel told her. Kira looked him in the eyes. “Can’t I hide them?” she said looking frustrated.
Gabriel shook his head. “Why hide something good?”
“Good?” Kira said and grimaced, “No. It’s a constant reminder of what I have to do! Next time I’ll burn my skin so much it never grows b…” Gabriel put his hand over her mouth. “Schh, don’t say that.” he whispered in her ear. Kira shivered. “You have to release some of the tension you carry. It’ll turn on you if you don’t. Come on Kira, let me teach you to…”
“This... thing is bad…” Kira whispered and Gabriel sighed.
“It’s not bad. You’re not bad. But you will loose control if you don’t do what you’re supposed to… soon. I hope you realize that.” Gabriel opened the door, went outside and was gone.
Kira looked at her back in the reflection of the window. Running her fingers down the patterns appearing one by one, she let a tear fall. A small smile appeared and struggled for space among the other feelings. Fear, hate, disgust… and a tiny spark of hope.
The patterns were growing back.
A full moon bathed Gabriel in light as he walked toward Laken.
“I thought I’d find you here,” he said and kissed her. “How are you?”
Laken chewed her bubblegum. “I’m fine. Have you been working?”
“No,” Gabriel answered, “have you?”
“Yes. At the prison. Wooden splinters.”
“Ouch.”
“Tell me about it.” Laken took him by the arm and they started strolling down the street together. It was a cold night but the streets were crowded as always. They met up with the tall, blonde Sienna and the dark haired Talon and headed for the nightclub. Once inside, Gabriel and Talon sat down at their table upstairs and ordered beverages for the four of them. They watched Sienna and Laken on the dance floor below surrounded by admirers.
“Do you reckon I could have a go with Sienna?” Talon asked Gabriel.
“Why? Do you love her?”
“Love?” Talon snorted. “She's attractive though.”
Gabriel smiled. A while later the girls joined them.
“Here’s your mint julep, Laken,” Gabriel said and handed over the glass, “and this is yours…” He handed over a glass of white wine to Sienna and she smiled at him. “Thank you…”
After a couple of drinks, Laken stood up. “Dance with me, Gabriel!”
He shook his head. “Oh, come on! Sienna?”
“Hell no, I’m exhausted!”
“Talon?”
He rose from his seat. “I’ll dance with you, darling.”
As they left the room, Sienna moved closer to Gabriel. “So how’s everything going with Kira?” she asked him.
“Well, I think she’s coming around,” Gabriel told her. “I went to William’s apartment a few hours ago and talked some sense into her. Also, the patterns are growing back so I think…” He halted a bit as Sienna put her hand on his thigh, “… I think she understands better now. It’s not going to be easy, but…”
Sienna leaned even closer. He turned to the dance floor looking for Laken. Sienna kissed the corner of his mouth and he flinched. “I’m with Laken,” he said and pushed her back. She laughed. “That’s such a stupid thing to say, Gabriel. You sleep with Laken but are you reallywith her? Do you know how that works even?”
Sienna had a point. “Well... Laken has changed me,” he lied.
“No, she hasn’t!” Sienna said and put her other hand on his shoulder. “You’re playing it safe because you think you need stability which you really don’t. What you need…” She moved even closer and Gabriel shut his eyes. He felt her lips to his ear. “What you need is some sugar,” she whispered and Gabriel grabbed a hold of the table. Suddenly she jerked back and he opened his eyes again. Laken and Talon was entering the room. “We entered the karaoke-challenge! We’re on pretty soon!”
Sienna touched Gabriel’s thigh behind the table. He flinched. “Nice! What… are you going to si…sing?” he said and smiled awkwardly.
“All along the watchtower!” Talon said and Sienna put her free hand in the air, shaking his and Laken’s. “Good luck! We’ll cheer for you!”
They hurried off again and Sienna turned to Gabriel with a smug expression on her face. “How sad,” she said, “that they had to leave.”
Gabriel swallowed hard. “Don’t do this,” he told her.
“Do what?” she answered and stood up as the song began and Laken and Talon entered the stage. Gabriel followed her. They stood at the balcony overlooking the dance floor and the small stage. Talon began to sing.
“Don’t do it.”
Sienna ignored him and watched the stage. Gabriel watched her lean forward. “F**k,” he mumbled.
He had tried commitment but it left a sour taste in his mouth somehow. He couldn’t quite grasp the concept of the whole idea of love or monogamy. Therefore this was better, like a safe journey with no strings attached. At least less of a tangle. He let his hands touch her body while watching Laken grab the microphone. He watched the crowds downstairs go wild over the performance while tugging her closer.
Then in the corner of his eye he spotted their personal waiter stand at the entrance of their room. He let go of Sienna and walked over the nervous man.
“As you leave this room, you will tell the host downstairs that a special request for one more song sung by Laken and Talon has come from their biggest fans up here,” he said and looked back at Sienna. “…We need another song.”
The waiter left the room. Gabriel walked over to the railing and looked down. Laken was singing happily. The waiter reached the host and Gabriel saw them whisper. The host nodded and gave a thumb up in Gabriel’s direction. They got another song going and Laken waved at Gabriel who waved back. He moved behind Sienna and pushed her hard against the railing. “You vamp. I hate you for dragging me through your filth time and time again,” he whispered between gritted teeth. She smiled to herself. “You like it there. You crawl on your own,” she answered and felt Gabriel lift her skirt up. Watching the scene downstairs, Gabriel pushed himself closer to Sienna, who groaned. Her fingers tightened around the railing as she leaned forward a little more.
From downstairs, the waiter watched them. It was all so obvious if you knew what was going on and he couldn’t stop watching. It was forbidden but so disturbingly luscious. It was visible but hidden. Another waiter blocked his view and irritated he pushed him aside. The balcony was empty. He rushed up the stairs and sneaked a peek through the keyhole. His mouth went dry as he caught a glimpse of exposed skin. He breathed heavily and felt the excitement increase. He blushed but kept watching. All through the song he stood there with his hands on the door, enjoying the scene with a mixed horror and fascination. The song came to its end and clothes were put back on. The waiter hurried down the steps and tried to push the images out of his head. Talon and Laken walked past him. Talon stopped. He turned to the waiter and creased his forehead. “You’ve done something…” he said slowly but was interrupted by the host. “Great job, man!” he said and shook his hand. The waiter squeezed past them and ran to the centre of the dance floor. He stared at the balcony, his heart beating fast. He saw Laken reach out and hug Gabriel. They had not been discovered. They had not been caught… He saw Sienna adjust her dress. Her gaze fell upon him, she smiled and nodded gratefully. He swallowed hard and nodded back.

Up on the balcony the glasses were once more empty.
“Can we all agree that Kira is fine with Eric for now? Probably no harm in them seeing each other right now…” he said.
“Oh yes”, Laken said, “I think he’s quite needed, even.”
They all nodded.
“I think this... plan of yours is too much based on purely fate,” Talon told her, “but there is something poetically suggestive in there that makes me believe in it.”
Sienna rolled her eyes. “Or it's just plain stupid…” she mumbled to herself.
Gabriel, Laken and Talon sat down around the table and rang the bell. The waiter appeared in the doorway, blushed and sweaty. “Yes..?” he said in a shaky voice. Sienna was amused. “The drinks on me,” she said and looked at them. “I have to get going, I’ve got a job to do. Thank you for an extraordinary evening.”
As she walked past the waiter she put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and put her lips to his ear. “Did you like the show?” she whispered and kissed his cheek. He dropped his notepad. Watching her leave he quickly picked it up and took their orders. Outside the room, he leaned against the wall and breathed out. He froze completely as Sienna walked up to him. She fluttered her eyelashes at him.
“I’m still all tingly,” she told him and slowly walked towards the broom cupboard. He followed as in a dream and closed the door behind them.

Gabriel knew.
He should care for Laken. He should help David. He should focus on Kira. But Gabriel knew where Sienna was and what she was doing. It didn’t bother him but aroused more desire. He put his arm around Laken. “I want you,” he whispered and she bit her lip, blushing. “We’re discussing things here!” she whispered back.
“We don’t have to. I want you.”
Laken looked at him. “Why?” she said and he sighed. He knew what she craved and reluctantly he answered. “Because… because I love you.”
A smile spread on her face and she stood up. “You have to excuse us, Talon. We have things to do,” she said and kissed his cheek. Gabriel inclined his head. “When David and Yumiko arrive, tell them we said hello.”
As Gabriel walked out the door he felt Laken take his hand. “I love you too,” she said as they walked out into the night. He rolled his eyes. Why did things have to be so complicated? He knew what he wanted and she gave it to him for the simple exchange of words. Was that really so wrong?

Then he sighed. Of course it was.
He was bargaining with special words.
The words of love

Five days passed and Kira spent them staring out through Eric’s window, thinking. After two days Eric had given up hope on getting her to talk and had left her alone. On the fifth day she had left his apartment and taken a cab to the hospital where she had once met their mother and where she used to check the scars on her back that were now nothing more than fading memories.
Now she walked slowly through corridor after corridor. Doctors ran by but no one stopped to shout at her, telling her to get out, because no one noticed her.

Dr. Evans relaxed. “Alright, finish up here,” he told the nurse next to him and took a few steps back. He considered his work. It had been an easy operation and he looked forward to tell the patient’s wife her husband would have a complete recovery.
His brown eyes began to throb and he rubbed them and sighed. The long day was finally taking its toll. His eyes were dry and itching and he kept rubbing them until it finally felt better. Relieved, he opened them again.
And they were blue.
With them he stared at the man on the operation table. The patient started twitching uncontrollably, blood gushed from the stitches and the nurse screamed and staggered back. The eyes searched their way to the soul and swiftly pulled it out of his body. The patient watched the shimmer above him and tears trickled down his face while a voice echoed in his head. “Your wife will be fine. Everything is as it should be. Let go.” And he did.
Dr. Evans shook his head and brown eyes stared at the scene in front of him. His mind was racing, trying to comprehend what had just happened. The tired team of doctors and nurses looked at him. “Dr. Evans? Are you there?”
He slowly turned to the nurse next to him. “Dr. Evans? Call the time.”
“The time?” he said and stared at the patient again. The people in the room glanced at each other. The nurse put her hand on Dr. Evans and pointed at the digital clock on the wall. “Please, doctor. Call the time of death.”
He stared at her, then at his patient. “But he was going to be alright…”
A man removed his plastic gloves and sighed deeply. “These things happen, you know they do.”
Dr. Evans stared at the clock. “The time of… death… 9.32… I have to leave…”
As he swung the door open he nearly stumbled upon the girl sitting outside, catching her breath. He swore and looked around but failed to notice anyone or anything. He hurried on.
With his hand still linked to hers, David helped Kira up. As they walked back, corridor after corridor, David glanced at her. Her face was sweaty and pale.
“That wasn’t too bad,” he said. Kira didn’t answer and David pressed on. “Well… You’re still learning. It’s alright to be…”
“Shut up,” Kira mumbled. David snorted.
“Come on, it wasn’t that bad. You had me in between this time. You only felt like… half of what I did.”
Kira stopped to stare at him. “That’s the point, David. That’s the point…” she said in a shaky voice. David blinked. “… I don’t get it.”
Kira started walking again with David tagging along behind.
“If that’s only half the amount of physical and mental torture I have to endure in my wonderful line of work… I think I’ll pass,” Kira muttered and David grabbed her by the arm and swung her around. Tears had gathered in her eyes. She stared at the floor.
“No. Kira, no,” David said and shook his head at her.
“I can’t do this, and I have nothing more to say…” Kira mumbled and looked exhausted and sad. David sat her down on a bench and crouched down.
“Yes, you can. If you don’t release it like this, it is bound to come out a much worse way.”
“That doesn’t necessarily have to happen…”
“What are you talking about? That is exactly what will happen!”
“I want to go home…” she said and tried to stand up but David held her in her seat.
“Go home? And where’s that?” he said angrily. Kira didn’t answer.
“Kira, I beg you. I know it hurts but this is the way we live. We’re built for it. I’m sorry that you feel this way but you can’t go and change the rules. It will kill you!”
Kira looked back at him for a while. “I’m tired…” she said almost crying. “Just let me leave.”
David sighed and stood up. He put his hands in his pockets and with a last saddened glance at Kira, walked away.
Just as Kira was about to leave, Dr. Evans sat down next to her. Kira glanced at him. They looked the same - exhausted and empty. After a short hesitation, she put her hand on his shoulder. “You did everything you could,” she said and walked away.
The doctor forgot about her as soon as she turned the corner. All he was left with was the a feeling of relief over that he had done everything he possibly could.
Eric had a dream. Kira was in it.
This was not unusual.

In the dream, Eric found himself on a large ship with a casino at the top floor. There, he had seen a beautiful girl with bright blue eyes. In one hour they were to meet on deck. Eric passed time at the slot machines, loosing much more than he gained.
Heading for their rendezvous point, his wallet felt lighter and his mood was down, but laying eyes on her made everything better. She leaned over the railing watching the waves in the darkness and it brought a smile on his face. He took a step forward and she turned. As she looked at him, he ran out of breath. Smiling weakly he nodded at her. She returned the nod and Eric offered her his arm. The girl put her soft warm arm on his and they started walking. “My name is Kira,” she told him.
“I’m sorry! I’m Eric. Pleased to meet you. You look… amazing tonight, Kira.”
“You too, Eric,” she answered and Eric straightened up. People passing them by noticed her right away. It made him proud. They sat down on a bench and Kira watched the stars while Eric watched her. She wore a black, elegant dress and her blonde hair was in a bundle at the back. A simple but beautiful gold chain hung around her neck and on her right wrist, a diamond bracelet glittered.
“It’s a beautiful night,” he said and watched the sky with her.
“Yes, it is,” Kira answered.
“So. Kira. What a beautiful name. Where does it come from?” he continued.
She shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“My parents love royalties,” Eric told her, “so I’m Eric, my brother is William, our older sister’s Elisabeth and our kid sister is Diana. Very creative, isn’t it?”
“Eric, tell me something,” Kira said, still watching the sky. He looked at her. “What is life to you?” He creased his forehead. This was not his intention with this date. He wanted lips, tongue and lots of touching. “What?” he responded and sighed quietly.
“Life. Is it important to you?”
He considered it for a while. “I don’t know, haven’t really thought about it. Life’s just life.”
Kira lowered her gaze and watched a couple pass them by. “But where would you be without your life?” she said and shivered a little. Eric put his arm around the girl.
“I’d be dead, I guess.”
“Doesn’t that frighten you at all?”
“Haven’t thought about it.”
“There seem to be much you haven’t thought about,” Kira muttered.
“Well, yeah. I’m young and…”
“That’s no excuse.”
Eric looked at her surprised. “No, but… still. I’m young and I don’t have to consider death yet. Maybe you’re right though. Maybe I should cherish life more.”
“Yeah, maybe you should have done that,” Kira muttered again.
“I do like it, I promise!” he said in defense.
“I know you did, Eric. That’s not the point!” Kira said, a little more irritated this time, “The point is that you never showed it! Life was just… there and you just lived it. You always took it for granted. You shouldn't have done that!”
Eric took his arm off her and turned to face her. “I will cherish it more from now on, alright??”
“No, you wouldn’t have. You just said that to please me but nothing would have changed,” Kira sighed. “Why did you throw it away?”
“I won’t throw it away! I just haven’t…” Eric stopped. He re-winded the conversation in his head. As he realized what felt so wrong about it, his blood froze in his veins. He stood up and backed away. She followed. “Why are you talking about me in past tense?” he said looking at her intensely. He touched the wall behind him. Kira’s eyes met his and he gasped. “Who the hell are you??” he said loudly and Kira tried to hush him. Another couple passed them by and as Eric was about to yell, Kira kissed him. As she ended it, all sounds died out. Not even the roar of the ship’s engine reached his ears. But in his head a voice sounded.
“I’m so sorry, Eric, but this is what I do.”
Kira stared blankly at his chest for a while and all Eric could hear was his own breathing. He held it in and muted the world. Kira raised her gaze and ice cold blue diamonds slammed him against the wall. The engine roared, the waves broke, the seagulls screamed, the guests laughed, the music played…
And Eric died.
Invisible hands tore his heart to pieces like a child playing too eagerly with something much too fragile. He coughed and blood sputtered out. Crying, he screamed in agony. Her hands grabbed his arm and with brute force swung him to the railing of the ship. She looked him in the eyes once more. “I loved you,” she whispered. She pushed him lightly and he fell overboard. Guests nearby screamed and called for help, the ship slowed, lifeboats were disconnected and hauled down. Chaos broke on deck. But Eric was dead and Kira was just a passenger.
In the water everything was dark and calm. Eric wondered what would happen next. Not that it really mattered.
Then two tiny hands took his and pulled him up. His lungs filled with dirty ocean water and he broke the surface in an instant. He struggled to release himself from the tight grip, not wanting to be saved when he had finally accepted his fate. He got to his feet and attacked his attacker. He pushed the monster of the sea to the wall… of his apartment… He held one hand around the creature’s throat… Kira gasped for air…Eric let go confused, angry and scared. The ship was gone, the cold was replaced by the comforting warmth of his own home…
“What the hell?!” he hissed, backing away from the terrified girl. Suddenly his stomach twisted and he fell to the floor vomiting, throwing up the ocean in his lungs…
“Is this real?!” he yelled at Kira who quickly nodded.
“You… fell to the floor,” she whispered, “You kicked the table and a can of water fell over you. That’s when I tried to wake you up… I’m… sorry.” She sat down next to him. He looked at her but quickly closed his eyes again, afraid of hers. “Leave…” he whispered, panting slightly. Kira stood up. “What?”
Eric hauled himself up in the sofa and looked down at the mess. The table now consisted of broken glass, a wet newspaper and a broken framed picture of his parents. The floor was covered in vomit and water. The can was shattered in a thousand pieces. He watched his hands and cursed as he found them bloody.
Kira put her jacket on in silence. Eric watched her and sighed. “You don’t have to leave… I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I’m not leaving,” she answered and reached for Eric’s jacket. “We are. This time it’s your turn to visit the doctor.”
Gabriel and David sat in a coffee shop. David looked miserable.
“She won’t do it. I mean, she tried… but it was too hard. Now she says she won’t continue,” he said and poured sugar in his coffee.
“That’s not good,” Gabriel responded, reaching for the milk.
“Tell me about it.” David slurped his coffee and stared out the window. Gabriel didn’t touch his. “…I’m unfaithful to Laken,” he said. David looked at him in surprise. “You’re what?” he said and Gabriel nodded.
“I slept with Sienna yesterday.”
“Really?”
“Yes. On the balcony on The Jester.”
“Are you kidding me?” David said and drank his coffee.
“…Talon and Laken were on stage, singing karaoke.” David spit coffee over the table and stared at Gabriel who calmly took a napkin out and wiped it off.
“Are you insane?” David said and Gabriel nodded.
“I think so.”
David leaned back. “You never learn, do you?”
Gabriel drank his tea. “No.”
David considered his friend. Gabriel had lived like this for a very long time. There was no obvious reason for it other than a long life of loneliness. Gabriel had, like David, promised himself to never fall in love with a normal human. Watching a colleague come and claim the love of your life would have required some serious therapy to get over. But Gabriel didn’t stop there. He didn’t try love, period. This choice had made him cold. And then, along came Laken. It had looked like love but David had suspected it never really was. He had been right.
“Have you told Laken?” he asked.
“Do I have to? Is that how it ought to work?” Gabriel responded.
David shrugged. “I guess you don’t have to…”
They sat in silence for a while. David laughed a little. “Teach me how to be more like you so I can stop falling for Kira…”
Gabriel smiled. “Still?”
“Yeah, still. I care more about her than I would like to.”
“Your heart will break if we loose her,” Gabriel said and finished his tea. “but Laken’s plan…” He hesitated. “I hope that Laken’s plan will work. It’s not something I would have chosen but it might be insane enough to do the trick. A big gamble but the other option would be to simply kill Kira.” He saw David shiver and shook his head. “And no one wants to Kill Kira,” he concluded. David tilted his chair back and looked at Gabriel. “It has to work…” he said.
“Kira’s patterns felt like they were coming back”, Gabriel stated and stood up. “I think I need to see them again. If they’re okay, all of them, I’ll tell Laken.”
David stood up next to him and put his jacket on.
“Will you tell her about Sienna as well?” David said. Gabriel crossed his arms and watched the reflection of the street lights on the wet asphalt outside.
“No,” he said, “I don’t see the point.”
Bleedings, headaches and exhaustion kept Eric in the hospital for five days.
“I hurt him,” Kira said with her head in her hands. William hugged her. “No, you didn’t. He was having a terrible nightmare and you woke him up. You probably helped him more than anything.”
On and off, Kira had been crying uncontrollably. William could hear her sob at night. She really felt responsible and nothing William said seemed to help her.
“I hurt him, I did!”
“You can’t help how he reacted when he woke up. It’s probably work related, it’s not your fault…”
“Will, you don’t know everything… If I told you, you would…”
She suddenly stiffened. “Someone’s coming.”
A second later, the doorbell rang. William got to his feet, went down the stairs and opened the front door. “Gabriel! What a pleasant surprise!” he said and smiled. Behind Gabriel he spotted another tall figure. Gabriel ushered David forward.
“This is… my cousin.” William and David shook hands. “Can I offer you both something to drink?”
“That would be excellent,” David said rubbing his hands together, smiling widely, “but Gabriel’s here to visit Kira. Is she in?”
“Well yeah, she’s upstairs but I’m not sure she wants visitors...”
“Gabriel, what an unpleasant surprise," Kira said sarcastically and they all turned to her where she stood at the bottom of the stairs.
“Huh..?” William mumbled to himself.
“She’s just joking,” David said and patted him on the back. Gabriel took some steps closer to the stairs. “Can I have a word with you?” he asked. “It’s very urgent.” Kira pursed her lips, nodded and walked up the stairs again.
“Us real men will have a beer in the kitchen meanwhile!” David shouted after them and William laughed, altough a bit confused, and followed him.

Gabriel entered the guestroom. As he closed the door, Kira observed him with caution. “Yes?” she said and crossed her arms.
“How are you feeling? Not so good, I believe?”
“I could be better,” Kira whispered. Gabriel walked up to her. “Turn around,” he said and she looked him in the eyes. “No…”
Gabriel’s jaw muscles tightened a bit. “Why not?”
“Read my lips: There’s nothing to see,” Kira said in a testy tone of voice.
Gabriel snorted. “I’ve already felt your back once, so stop f*****g around.”
Kira sniffed at him. “Believe me, you’ll only disappoint yourself. You’re too early, Gabriel.”
He stared into her eyes. “Turn… the f**k… around.”
“But I’m telling you…” He grabbed her by the arm. “That hurts!” she hissed and freed herself from his grip. “I don’t want to show you because you’ll just get pissed but sure, if you love disappointments, go right ahead…” she said and removed the cardigan. She turned around and put her hands on the wall in front of her. Gabriel took a step closer and felt his stomach turn. His fingers touched her skin and followed pattern after pattern… Kira faced him again and crossed her arms.
“See?” she said, cockily. “They’re not done yet!”
“But, Kira…”
“Who do you think you are, barging in here just like that? Don’t you think I know what a complete pattern looks like? I’m not a child! And if you came here to save me from yet another burn or cut, I want you to know that I have no plans on doing that again because it hurt too much and they grow back no matter what I do, so I get it! Okay? I’m stuck with these f*****g things but god damn it! At least wait for f**k sake! Wait until…”
“… they’re complete?” Gabriel interrupted, looking calmly at her. She halted and breathed in. With her arms still crossed over her chest, she kept her head held high.
“Exactly,” she said. “At least have the decency to wait until…”
“They’re done.”
Kira quieted down again, looking at him, confused. “… Yes. Come back when…”
“It’s done.”
Kira took a step closer to Gabriel and stared at him angrily. “Stop finishing my sentences!!”
Gabriel’s lips thinned into a smug. “But Kira...” he said, “… the pattern is completed.”
Kira’s warmth left her body. The color of her face changed from red to white and her arms dropped to her sides. She blinked rapidly. “F**k you,” she said. Gabriel’s smug became a broad smile.
“Kira, I’m telling you the truth.”
She pointed accusingly at him. “No! David’s pattern looks nothing like mine!”
“That’s because it’s David’s pattern, not yours.”
She swallowed hard. “They’re… not supposed to look… the same?”
“Have you compared yours to David’s all this time?” Gabriel said and looked at her. She nodded. “No wonder you didn’t realize they’re done.”
She started pacing the room. After a while she halted and stared out the window. “I don’t want this life,” she told Gabriel. He sat down at the end of the bed. “Well, it’s yours whether you want it or not. Take good care of it and do what you’re supposed to before it’s too late,” he said and linked his fingers together.
“I hate the... you know,” Kira whispered and sat down next to him, “and I really don’t want to do it alone.”
“It’s not up to you,” Gabriel responded.
They sat in silence for a while. Kira sighed. “You know I’ll keep fighting it,” she whispered. Gabriel nodded. “I know but it won’t get you anywhere.”
“I won’t kill.”
“It’s not murder.”
“I won’t kill.”
“That’s selfish.”
Kira turned to look at him. “No, it’s not! If I can choose who lives and who dies I want to use that to something good like keeping good people alive!”
Gabriel smiled at her. “Are you really that ignorant?” he said. “Do you really think that’s how it works? Think about it. Girls like Yumiko would have tried it long ago if it was possible. We don’t decide those things. We just pass them on.”
Kira chewed on her lip, thinking hard. “What if… What if I refuse to pass them on? What happens?” she asked.
“Someone else works double shifts,” he joked but Kira didn’t laugh.
“What happens?” she said again and Gabriel sighed.
“Honestly, Kira. Someone else has to step in. If that person doesn’t die when he or she is supposed to, they become detached from the world they live in. Where they could have been dead and peaceful, they become restless and I guarantee you will visit this person over and over again because his or her life will consist of constant suicide attempts. It will torment both you and this person until you decide to do the right thing.” Gabriel stared at his own hands and looked troubled. Kira watched him closely.
“Has this… Has it…” she begun, and Gabriel nodded.
“Sienna wanted to save a young boy once. After jumping in front of a train, two overdoses, three times with a snare around his neck and one attempt of slitting his wrists, she finally returned to claim him,” Gabriel said, getting to his feet.
“I know you have a long way to go but consider the possibilities of what happens if you say no.”
“I can’t kill…”
Gabriel sighed. “Kira, for crying out loud! Haven’t you been listening?”
“I know, I know, I’m just… confused,” she said and looked away.
Suddenly the door flung open and in the opening stood William.
“Okay, I think you have overstayed your welcome in my home. David has told me some crazy s**t and I’m not really sure I want you here,” he said with a shaky voice.
Gabriel looked at David who shrugged. “I just filled in the blanks…”
“What I think,” William said, “is that you’re a fucked up cult and that you’re here to take Kira back. Well, over my dead body!”
“And when he said that, I said that I could fix it if he wanted and he got all weird and rushed up the stairs,” David said and tried to keep from laughing out loud. Gabriel shook his head disapprovingly. “You’re such a child, David…”
William pointed towards the door. “Get out before I call the police,” he threatened.
“Alright, why not,” Gabriel said and David stopped him.
“Wait a minute! Did you say what I just thought I heard you…”
“David, relax. She might as well stay here for a while and chill out. It saves us the trouble. She sure won’t be happy if we stick around, will you?” he said and turned to Kira who slowly shook her head. “You need to give me some space…” she muttered, “Some time to think.”
David looked at her a long while, then sighed. “I just don’t get why she hang around here all the f*****g time...“ He turned to William. “... but take good care of her.”
They both left the room and William breathed out.
“I need to rest…” he heard Kira whisper.
“Yeah… Take all the time you need, you’re safe here…”
He looked over his shoulder. Kira had cuddled up on the bed with her back to him. He glanced at it, shook his head and rubbed his eyes.

The tattoos were moving.

“I’m not a bad person, Yumi.”
Yumiko and Sienna sat on the bridge deck with their feet in the water. It was still quite cold but the sun was beginning to heat it up.
“What if she finds out? Yumiko said and threw a pebble into the lake. Sienna laughed. “Don’t be silly.”
“But you’re cheating on her!”
“Oh f**k off…”
Yumiko turned to her. “You are cheating on her! She loves him,” she said.
“Really?” Sienna said amused. “What a pretty fairy tale.”
“Hey!”
They both turned and saw Laken walk towards them. Sienna eyed Yumiko. “There is nothing to tell,” she said. Laken reached them and sat down in the middle removing her sandals. She put her feet in the water and sighed happily.
“Spring is in the air,” she said and leaned back. Yumiko bit her lip and searched for another pebble. “Kira’s patterns are complete. She’s quite invincible now,” Laken told them.
“Yeah?” Yumiko said. “She wasn’t before?”
“Before? Oh no. Before you get your patterns you’re fragile, sweetheart,” Sienna explained. “I never realized that,” Yumiko mumbled.
“Well, let’s say a certain amount of immortality is thrown in as a bonus ,” Sienna said and winked at her.
“She really didn’t want this to happen but Gabriel talked sense into her,” Laken said and smiled. “My sweet, little hero.”
Yumiko glanced at Sienna who smiled. “Yeah, what a noble man,” she said sarcastically. Laken stood up.
“Come on girls, it’s time to meet the boys and plan for Kira’s future.”
Sienna got to her feet and nudged Yumiko in the side with her foot. “Are you coming?” she asked. Yumiko looked deep into the lake. “Just give me one minute…”
Sienna sighed. “Alright. See you later.” She took Laken by the arm and walked off. Yumiko watched them leave. She pulled her feet out of the water. Why had Sienna told her about Gabriel? She didn’t want to know! She hated lies. Carrying this secret felt even harder than the possibility of loosing Kira. Sighing to herself, she stood up and started walking

“Yes, we would like it very much if you could start working for us as soon as possible! Of course we want you to get well first, Eric! Take your time, take your time,” Mr. Alexander said in the telephone.
Eric sat in a taxi on his way home from the hospital when he received the call. A good job was just what he needed to get on his feet again so he gladly accepted.
Paying the driver, he took the elevator up to his floor and opened the front door. He put his backpack down and peered around the corner. His apartment was cleaner than it had ever been before. Not a single trace of the previous disaster. He looked at his living room table. The portrait of his parents had been put in a new frame and another can of water stood neatly beside it. His carpet was gone. A note from Kira lay on his TV.

‘There is nothing I can say or do to make anything up to you. I’m very sorry for this horrible mess. Your carpet and some of your pillows are at the dry cleaner. Don’t worry about them, I’ll pick them up for you Friday afternoon.’

Eric put the note down and grinned. She had done all this for him?
The door opened and William stepped through, smiling. “Hey, man! How are you feeling? I was just on my way over to make sure that your place looked alright before you arrived, but I guess mum beat me to it!”
“No, Kira did,” Eric said and smiled a bit. “Isn’t that sweet?”
William’s smile faded and he looked down, thinking. Eric watched him. William poured himself a glass of water and drank it slowly. He sat down opposite Eric.
“Why the look?” Eric said. “What? Just tell me.”
William took a deep breath. “Okay. Do you remember my last party? Kira got mad at you?” he asked and Eric nodded. “Not a very good night.”
William sighed. “What was it you were about to tell me before she went ninja on your a*s?” he said and stared at his brother. Eric looked out the window and shrugged. “Well, I thought I saw… You know, I was very drunk and had just been with her and I was feeling a little, no, very dizzy, so what I saw was probably just my mind playing tricks on…”
“Did you see tattoos?” William interrupted. Eric turned to stare at him, swallowed and nodded. William looked away. “…They appear by themselves, you know,” he said. Eric let out a confused laughter. William shook his head. “I’m not kidding. Her whole backside is full of tattoos, and they’re moving.”

Silence. Several minutes passed. The telephone rang. Eric didn’t answer. After staring at nothing for about five minutes, he shifted in his seat.
“Got a job today.”
“Oh?”
“Yup.”
“Congratulations, Eric.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Good money?”
“Very well paid. Can move out of here pretty soon. Can get myself a better home.”
“Don’t forget to invite me to the party!” William smiled.
Silence spread out across the room once more. Eric looked puzzled.
“Tattoos, you say?” he repeated and looked at William who nodded.
“Tattoos, yeah, carving themselves neatly on her back.”

Silence.
“Really?”
“Yes, Eric.”
Silence.
“That’s odd.”
“Eric, shut up.”
Silence. Silence.
… Silence.

“Do you want to grab a pizza?”
“… Yeah, Eric. A pizza sounds great.”

“We should ask her about them!” William said and waved his arms dramatically in the air, swaying back and forth with a large beer in one hand. Drunk, he sat down next to Eric. The pizzas were eaten two ours ago, followed by beer. One beer led to another that led to yet another, and the world felt like a better place.
“We should tell her that we know!” William continued and pointed at Eric who took another sip of beer and looked uncomfortable.
“I don’t think so… I don’t see the… point! It’s not that important, really…”
William looked at him accusingly with his mouth open. “Not that important?? She’s got tattoos, Eric, tattoos!!”
“Well, tattoos are pretty common…”
William slammed his fist on the table.
“Heeey, watch the peanuts…” Eric mumbled.
“Have you ever heard of tattoos… tatt…ooing themselves?” William continued, “I told you they just appeared, damn you!!”
“Maybe the tattoo…er was in your… uhm… blind spot?” Eric said and collected the spilled peanuts.
“You’re an idiot, Eric,“ William decided and crossed his arms, leaning back. “Only idiots say things like that.”
Eric frowned. “Only idiots believe tattoos appear out of nowhere,” he responded.
William made a face at him. He threw a peanut up in the air but missed catching it on the way down. It fell to the floor and Eric mumbled something about William always wasting the treasures in life.
“What happened to Kira’s friend, that Garder something?”
“Gabriel” William corrected.
“Alright, Gabriel. He seemed to know her quite well.”
William gritted his teeth in anger. “Yeah! I forgot to tell you! He and his friend were there when she… you know!”
“Tattooed herself?”
“Right! Thank you! Kira really disliked them, I could tell! But I rescued her, told them to leave, I did! And they did!”
“How noble.”
“Right! But now she’s been in bed for like more than twenty hours.”
“You’re counting?” Eric said. William ignored him.
“She didn’t come down for breakfast and not for lunch and each time I went to her room she was either asleep or pretending to be. Give me a peanut!”
“No, you just waste them!”
“But I bet she’ll be awake when I get back tonight. No one can stay in bed that long!”
Eric chewed on a peanut. “Well, you could” he said.
William half rose from his chair. “You should come with me! We should sit her down somewhere and then say ‘aha!’ and something like… Oh, I know! ‘There’s no reason to lie anymore. We already know. Yes you heard me, lady! We know.’”
William smiled proudly. “What do you think?” he grinned.
“I think I just figured out who the real idiot is.”
William sighed irritably and sat down again. “I mean,” Eric continued, “then what?”
“Then we force her to show the… the…”
“Tattoos”
“Yeah!” William said and Eric shook his head.
“You go ahead and do that. I’ll stay right here,” he said and beer splashed up in his face. “Stop throwing peanuts everywhere!!”
William ignored him and another peanut landed in Eric’s glass. “If this is some twisted form of negotiation, I’m not… Ouch!! That’s my forehead, dumbass!!”
William grinned and threw another peanut on Eric who stood up.
“Alright, you fool, outside!” he yelled.
Someone on the table next to them clapped her hands and giggled. “Oooohh, a real bar fight, how exciting!”
Eric gave her a stare.
“Nooo, silly girl. ‘Outside’ as in simply ‘outside’. ‘Outside’ as in ‘let’s go outside in order to leave this dumb place full of dumb people’. ‘Outside’ as in fresh air, sobering up, stepping on a train…”
“Taxi…” William corrected and Eric looked annoyed.
“Taxi, train, plane, boat, air balloon, hovercraft, starship, time travel, it really doesn’t matter, does it now? No, what does matter is the level of annoyance you bring me by throwing peanuts at me. And I can’t take it so fine, let’s go to Kira. Let’s sit down next to her and tell her you’ve seen tattoos. That is a brilliant plan.”
William smiled in triumph while Eric put his jacket on.
“There is just one thing I need in order to brace myself for this stupidity…”
Eric went to the disk.
“Bartender! A large cup of peanuts, to go!”
Kira woke up.
She carefully opened her eyes. She listened for footsteps or breathing in the dark. William could be close and she wasn’t prepared to face him yet. Hearing nothing, she turned the light on. At once she jerked back, but realizing who it was sitting in front of her, she quickly relaxed again. “Of course,” she said, leaning back in her bed.
In front of her, Sienna sat with her legs crossed. She gave Kira a wry smile and leaned forward to face her.
“So, what? Did David send you here to watch over me?”
Sienna nodded. “Yeah, something like that. He mentioned that you were better and I volunteered to drop by and have a look at you, and here you are,” she said and laughed a little. “You moron, why’d you ruin your pattern? Well... They’re back, that’s good. Can I have a look?”
Kira shook her head and Sienna looked surprised. “Oh? Why not then?” she said.
“I don’t know…”
“Then stop being a baby, Kira.”
“F**k you.”
“Honey, it’s only me here. Just show them for crying out loud.”
Kira shook her head again and Sienna gave her a disapproving snort. The room went awkwardly quiet.
“You know,” Sienna started, “I have never really liked you.”
Kira looked at her and Sienna went on. “You were that naive little girl who everyone loves to take care of. If you choose not to, you don’t ever have to lift a finger or do any thinking of your own. There will always be some stupid boy ready to save you when you decide life is too hard to deal with on your own. I hate that girl.” She watched Kira intensily who began to feel very uneasy in her bed. Sienna breathed in and let out a sigh. “Then you started questioning things. You decided to walk a completely different road instead of following the stream and you decided to start a war against all of those boys who could have sheltered you and make you that typical naive little princess I despise. You burnt your back and thereby scarred our whole existance in a way. When everyone else started yelling at you... I started liking you more.”
Kira raised her eyebrows. Sienna nodded. “You dared to stand out and I so enjoyed watching that change.”
Kira stared at Sienna who looked out the window. After a while she sighed. “If it really means that much to you…”she said and sat up. Sienna looked at her. Slowly, Kira removed her negligee revealing black symbols crossing each other, fighting for space on her soft, white skin. Sienna’s jaw dropped and she smiled widely. Kira looked over her shoulder. “Happy now?” she said. Sienna silently let her eyes follow the lines. She read the words, watched the symbols and reached out to touch them. After a while she breathed in and mouthed a silent ‘Oh my God’.

The doors swung open and a pair of laughing brothers staggered in. At the sight of her back, William gaped. “Aha!” he yelled and pointed at her. Kira cursed and pulled her negligee back on. Sienna took a few steps forward and smiled at them.
“Oh no, another one…” Eric muttered and sat down on the bed avoiding Sienna’s piercing gaze. She was surprised by his sentience. William on the other hand stumbled forward to greet her. “So who’s this beauty?” he said and blinked at her.
“That’s Sienna,” Kira said, “and she is just about to leave.”
“No, I’m not,” Sienna spitted at her and turned to William. She smiled and bit her lip. “Who are you, handsome?” she said and Kira rolled her eyes.
“I’m William. Kira never told me she had such a sexy friend…”
“Okay, out! Both of you! If you’re going to be that pathetic, then out!!” Kira yelled and pointed at the door. William ignored her, took Sienna’s hand and walked towards the door. “Let me show you my mansion…” They closed the door behind them and Eric watched Kira for a while before he spoke.
“When did you have time to tattoo your whole f*****g body like that?” he said.
Kira grimaced. “Can I fool you by saying I made them while you were at the hospital?” she said.
“Not really, no.”
“Oh, well…”
Eric looked out the window. “… Things appear on you back, just like that?!”
Kira sighed and sat down on the bed. “Please don’t freak out.”
Eric laughed sarcastically. “I’m beyond the point of freaking out, Kira.” He looked at her. “I might still be drunk but I want you to be honest with me,” he said and waited.
“So… what do you want to know?” she answered.
“What do you think??” Eric said angrily.
“Why tattoos?”
“Yeah, Kira, why tattoos? More importantly, how??”
“Was born with them,” Kira replied and studied her nails. Eric’s jaw muscles tightened as he watched her.
“Is that a common thing? To be born with tattoos? I sure haven’t heard of that before. So… Kira… Who the f**k are you?”
Kira sighed. Eric continued. “Because you sure aren’t human.”
She stared angrily at him. “What did you say?” she hissed and Eric bit his tongue.
“Alright! I’m sorry! So what are you then?” he said and waved his arms about in frustration.
“Kira!” she answered.
Eric grunted. “This is ridiculous…”
Kira looked at Eric who now sat with his eyes fixed on the floor, tired. “If I tell you what I do…” Eric looked up in surprise. Kira went on. “If I tell you what I do, can you promise me to keep quiet? She looked at him, pleading. He nodded, his heart racing. Kira braced herself and then spoke.
“I help people die.”
She looked at him in the corner of her eye and found him looking rather confused.
“Like… you pull the plug on them or something?” he asked and Kira sighed impatiently.
“Yeah, I stare at the plug with my scary eyes until it pops out... No Eric, I kill people.”
“Okay…” Eric said slowly trying to put the pieces together in his head. “Who exactly do you kill?”
Kira’s nostrils flared with irritation. “I kill people! That’s what I do!”
Silence spread out again. “… With tattoos?” Eric managed and Kira held back a scream of frustration. She calmed down and took a deep breath.
“I… I look inside of them and kind of… Well I rip your soul out, basically. When it’s time for you to die, I look you in the eyes and beyond them, find your soul and rip it out. Then you die.”

Eric stared blankly at her.
Then burst into laughter.

Downstairs in the kitchen Sienna was busy kissing William and William was busy pushing Sienna up against the wall. His heart beat so hard even Sienna could hear it. A while ago it had even begun to hurt. Pushing the pain aside, William ran his fingers down her body. He kissed her neck and she smiled and made an approving sound. William’s heart raced, his head spun, his mind and soul twisted.
A sudden pulling sensation from within made him stop all actions and hold her at a distance. Sienna smiled and moved closer again. He let go and she wrapped her snakelike arms around him once more.
Some minutes later he felt the pulling sensation grab a hold of him again. He stepped back, freeing himself from her.
“What are you doing?” he said. Sienna shrugged and smiled.
“Nothing,” she murmured and touched his hand. He jerked it back.
“Yeah, right! You’re doing something and I want to know what!”
Sienna laughed. “Stop being so dramatic,” she said and took a beer out of his refrigerator. “I didn’t know you were a softie.”
“I’m not!” William defended himself. “I just… That felt weird! Like you were pulling my insides out and… and that is not allowed!” he ended firmly and crossed his arms, still swaying from side to side. Sienna watched him amused and took a sip of beer. “I’ll be real gentle with you, darling,” she teased.
William watched her with great caution. She gave him the beer.
“Drink,” she said, “and all will feel better.”

Eric had stopped laughing after noticing Kira’s serious expression.
Once in a while, the awkward silence was broken by him chuckling nervously. He tried processing what Kira had told him.
“So,” he started, “you’re an assassin of some sort and… you are no angel… You are human, still you’re not really human. You rip the soul out of people with your… eyes,” he tried but couldn’t quite grasp it. Kira sighed.
“And your tattoos..?” Eric questioned.
“Are a part of me like a part of my soul, you might say.”
“Oh.”
Kira watched Eric in the corner of her eye. She felt ashamed and also felt a pang of sadness over the fact that she now finally had someone to share her burden with, but that this someone probably did not trust her words at all. Eric sat silently watching the night outside. “You don’t really believe me, do you?” Kira said. Eric laughed dryly.
“Would you believe me if I told you I went around killing people and that my weapons of choice were my eyes and a back full of tattoos?” he said and looked at Kira in disbelief.
“Well, yeah, I would… “Kira began.
“If you were a human, I mean!!” Eric raised his voice. Kira gritted her teeth.
“I am a human.!!” she hissed.
Eric cursed silently at her and paced the room.
“I could show you… “ Kira whispered and Eric stopped to look at her.
“What?”
“I can show you how it’s done if you want some kind of proof...”
“Kill me? Thanks!”
“Not that! I can… touch your soul and just… move it around a little… so that you… feel what I’m talking about.”
Eric stared at her. “Say what??”
Kira moved closer, took his hands and sat him down on the bed. “Are you okay with a small amount of pain?” she said and looked at him.
“Huh? I don’t know. I’m not sure what you consider a small amount of…”
The color in Kira’s eyes changed. They seemed to consist of much more than pupil, iris and sclera. As he looked into them he lost the ability to blink. He felt trapped and confused but in the same time embraced by something warm, compassionate and caring. Her eyes became his whole existence. They got a life of their own, dug themselves inside of him… and Eric recognized the feeling.
Panic spread in his mind. This was déjà vu. He had already experienced this and it was followed by something extremely bad. He tried to close his eyes but found himself in her control. The clear blue stare he received now did what Kira had told him it would do, what Eric had laughed at. It looked him in the eyes… and beyond them. She found his soul and…
“No!” Eric yelled and struggled. He could feel her somehow putting a cold hand around his life and start tugging at it. He kept struggling until she noticed his fear and anger and let go. The cold left his body quickly and Kira came into focus again.
As she did, Eric pushed her with all his force against the nearest wall and locked her arms in a tight grip. Full of rage, he stared her directly in the eyes.
“Don’t ever do that to me again!!” he shouted and slammed her against the wall.
Kira held her breath and watched him frightened. He looked down, hyperventilating. As he leaned on Kira, she closed her eyes to rid the pain of having a door handle pressed against the small of her back. His fingers bruising her extremely and she breathed out carefully. “I wasn’t trying to…”
“Shut your f*****g mouth.”
Kira looked at him sadly but said nothing. His grip eased and she quickly moved away leaving Eric panting and trembling against the wall.
“… I wasn’t going to hurt you,” Kira whispered.
“Well, you did,” Eric responded.
“No, I didn’t. You were scared but I never physically hurt you…”
“You lay your hands on my life!”
“Yes, I told you I would do that.”
Eric rubbed his face.
“… But I never hurt you, Eric,” Kira continued and stroke her aching arms. “I would never do you harm... I just wanted to show you that what I was talking about was really true and…”
Eric shook and Kira could hear him sob. Confused, she stood up and walked slowly to his side. She put a hand on his shoulder and ducked under his arm standing against the wall again, looking at him. She touched his cheek and one tear left his eye and trickled down Kira’s fingers. Eric sank to the floor in exhaustion and she followed him. He lay down and stared at the ceiling.
“You’re one crazy girl, Kira.” He turned to face her. “And this must be a dream...”
Kira watched him close his eyes and drift off. She stroke his hair and sighed.
“I’m so sorry, Eric. But this is what I do.”

Gabriel stood on the bridge and watched the reflection of the moon in the still water.
David leaned over the railing. “So, I guess you wanted to chat about Kira.”
“I think I might have been wrong in my assumption that leaving her with the brothers for a while wouldn’t do any difference. I’ve lately come to realize there is a risk of her telling them too much about herself.”
David laughed. “Oh come on. They would never believe her anyway!”
“What makes you so sure?” Gabriel said and looked around.
“Well…” David began, but was cut off.
“Now listen. If they start pushing her she might tell them. Kira has always doubted what she does and therefore I think we have to keep her close from now on and act as a good influence in her life.”
David frowned. “By killing people?”
“By teaching her why.”
David considered this and nodded. “So you want me to get her back?”
“Yes.”
“Alright. First of all. How? Secondly, where do I put her? It’s not like she has any place to go. She sold her apartment.”
“She did?” Gabriel responded, surprised.
“Yeah. She sold it and ran off, met William in that bar and you know the rest of the story.”
“So let’s get her an apartment,” Gabriel said and squinted a little. They watched the water ripple as a leaf fell from a tree leaning towards the lake. “Make sure she loves her new life. Give her everything.”
“Of course... but can I just ask you something?” David ventured.
“Why I care so much? Why I don’t turn my back on her, leaving her to her own destiny?”
David nodded and Gabriel sighed. “Maybe because I’m human.”
David smiled a little “Human...“ he mumbled, “Call it what you like.”
Gabriel shrugged. “David, all I know is that she’s straying too much off track. Bring her home.”
David turned and put his gloves on. “I’ll let you know where we are in a few days,” he said and walked away.
Time went by quickly and Eric adjusted to his new life well. Though Kira was constantly present in his mind, consuming him in a disturbing nagging way, he managed to do well in his new line of work. Things moved forward both at work and in his private life. He had finally on his own found an apartment six days ago and he was now, after beers and bowling, heading for it with a tired smile on his face.
Tonight he would also meet her for the first time in a week. Tonight was the night of Eric’s housewarming party.
Opening the front door to his home still brought a smile to his face. This place was his own. Eric had paid for it with his own money, from his own pocket. He finally had reached his goal. He was finally there.
Two hours until the guests would arrive, Eric turned the jacuzzi on and dropped his clothes on the floor singing in front of the mirror. Stepping into the hot water, he sighed happily. He began singing Johnny Cash and was just starting on the second verse of A Boy Named Sue when someone behind him laughed quietly. He looked around to find David standing there.
“What the hell, man?!” Eric said and half rose. David raised his hand.
“Stay where you are, I don’t want to see the rest.”
Eric sat down in the water and stared at David who sat down on the toilet. “I kind of thought Kira was with you,” he said.
“She isn’t.”
“I can see that.”
“Then maybe you could… leave?” Eric said hopefully. David yawned.
“I’ll wait for her. She’ll be here in two hours, won’t she?”
“How the hell did you know that? Did you read my mind or something? You’re all so f*****g creepy!” Eric said and reached for a towel.
“Read your mind? No, I read the apologetic note in the elevator telling your neighbors the night could get loud,” David said, grinning. “Read your mind…”
Eric wrapped a towel around his waist and got out of the tub. David followed him to the hallway.
“I think you should go. I know you and that other guy are bad for Kira so leave before it gets nasty,” he said pointing at the door, hoping for the best.
David grinned once more. “Poor Eric, knee deep in this mess,” he said and sat down on a barstool near the kitchen. Eric walked up the stairs and put his clothes on.
“What does it take,” he shouted, “to make you leave?”
“Kira. It takes Kira to make me leave,” David answered.
“Want to make her cry or something?” Eric said in a most unwelcoming tone of voice. David frowned.
“She’s got you both wrapped around her finger and you have no clue who you’re dealing with,” he said and shook his head.
Eric walked down the stairs with his head held high. “She could have killed me already if she wanted to,” he said and David’s eyes widened. “Yeah. She showed me. I’ve got the upper hand. Don’t think I’m so f*****g clueless.”
David stood up. “You really think you’ve got the upper hand? Are you stupid?” he said and walked towards the door. As he opened it, he looked back at Eric. “You’re so easy to fool…” he said.
Eric reached his boiling point. “I know what I’m doing! I’m in absolute control!”
David stood in the hallway for a while, looking worried. Then he shook his head, sighed and stepped out. Eric leaned against his dining room table and watched the front door close.
William lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, looking miserable. Beside him, Kira was resting.
Some minutes ago he had been all over her. Afterwards she had given him a faint smile and turned to her side. It had been obvious she had not been enjoying herself much. It made him feel horrible. He wanted to be her saviour, protect her from people like Gabriel and David… and Sienna. Not do things like… this. Not now. He turned to Kira and touched her carefully.
“Yes?” she said.
“I think it’s time to get ready, honey…”
Kira turned around in the bed and looked William in the eyes. He wanted her to say something soothing, something making her feel better…
“Okay, let’s get ready,” she said flatly and jumped out of bed, heading for the bathroom. William sighed and stood up slowly. He brushed his teeth, listening to the shower being turned on in the bathroom upstairs. He wondered what she was thinking. William shaved and showered quickly. Later in the kitchen, he opened his liquor cabinet and took a large bottle of whiskey out. The telephone rang.
“Hello, Eric. Yeah we’re on our way, something… came up but we… will hurry. Yes. I’ll bring whiskey.” He hung up and put his pants on.
“Why didn’t things work out between you and Sienna?” Kira suddenly said behind him. He spun around and faced her. Her milky white wet skin was wrapped in a red towel. William stared at the drops of water resting on her arms and chest.
“William?”
He shut his eyes and turned away. “It just didn’t work, that’s all.”
“… Okay.” Kira turned her back to William and let the towel drop. She walked up the stairs to put her clothes on. William put on coffee and tried to push her naked image out of his mind. The phone rang again. “Hey Eric. Yes, yes, yes, I can bring limes!”
Kira re-appeared in the kitchen in a black top, blue skirt and high-heeled black boots. She gave him a necklace and he started putting it on for her while discussing fruit with Eric on the phone. He watched her back. One hand mindlessly touched a tattoo the shape of a river twisting and turning down her spine. She sighed and snatched the necklace out of his hands.
“What? Yes, I’m still here and I’ve got pineapple, too. No, I was just… I made her...never mind.” He hung up the phone, collected the different desired fruits from the kitchen and walked to the front door where Kira was now already waiting. He reached for the door handle and stood still for a while. “Did I offend you?” he said and looked at her.
She shook her head.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Kira smiled. “No, Will. I’ll be fine.” She laid her hand on William’s, pushing the handle down. “We’ve got a party to attend to,” she said and opened the door, smiling. They turned… And met David.
“For God’s sake!!” William said and waved his hands in the air. Kira backed into the apartment again and David pushed past William. “Can I talk to you?” David said. Kira shook her head backing up the stairs. William grabbed David’s arm and jerked him back. “Get the f**k out of here!” he shouted and pushed him hard. David sighed and the color of his eyes shifted slightly. Kira breathed in, raised her hand and hurried down the steps again. “David, please don’t. Of course I’ll have a word with you…”
William stared at her. “What??”
Kira put her lips to his ear. “Eric’s waiting for you. I’ll be there in a heartbeat, I promise,” she whispered and William shook his head. “Yes, Will. I’ll be there soon. Trust me.”
He sighed, nodded and picked up his bag of whiskey and fruit. “We’ll be waiting for you, alright?” he said and reluctantly walked out the door.

They sat down in the stairs. David reached inside his pocket. He took her hand and put a key in it. “I’m sorry for leaving you before. I just figured you weren’t so keen on having me around. You probably still see me as the bad guy.”
Kira closed her hands around the key. “Is this what I think it is?” she said and looked at him.
“The apartment is in probably the best area you can find in the city. It’s got a fireplace and a big bathtub, I know how much you love that.”
“This,” Kira said, holding the key up, “is a bribe.”
David laughed and carefully put his arm around her. “Yes, it is. I’ve been acting like a fool. I just got so worried and… Can’t we just make peace? Let me help you. Those brothers might be your friends but they can never understand you and know what to do to help you. They will always do the wrong things, hurting both themselves and you.” David sighed. “I mean, I know you want intimacy, understanding, emotions and love, but there is no energy left in you to explain that to them and so you give in and just... let it happen to at least get some sort of pressure relief. Right?” he said and tears filled Kira’s eyes. “You want there to be something special between you and them, but to be completely honest... The deepest thing you have managed to share with them is… sex. Each time you try to connect with them it only leads to that. Maybe that isn’t too healthy, Kira.”
David put a piece of paper together with the key and closed her fingers around them.
“That’s my number, and your address. They hurt you without understanding it themselves. Distance can be a good thing sometimes. If you decide to finally have some privacy, the apartment is yours. If you need someone, call me,” he said and stood up. “Come on, Kira. I’ll drive you to your party.” He reached out and opened his hand. For a minute she just sat there staring at it. Then she reached out and grabbed it. Hand in hand, David and Kira walked out the door.
Before it closed Kira leaned her head on David shoulder, whispering a quiet ‘thank you’.
Gabriel stood silently in the dark of the night with Laken next to him.
“I really should get going. I shouldn’t disturb you anymore,” Gabriel said, clearly uncomfortable but Laken tugged at his coat and pulled him down on the bench.
“Did I make you sad?” she said and blew a big yellow bubble. “Did I say something inappropriate just now? Because you’re so quiet. Mr. Silence himself is loud in your presence. You outwit silence! You…”
“You practically told me she’s doomed, Laken!”
“I never predicted any permanent future. There’s just so much locked up inside of her that needs to get out or it might backfire on her. It’s nothing we haven’t already discussed, so why do you get so angry with me?”
Gabriel sighed and put his hand on hers. “You’re right,” he said .
Laken watched his grim expression. “You’re afraid she’ll end up bad,” she said.
“… Yes.”
“Me too,” Laken answered. Gabriel squeezed her hand and sighed.
“Remember Josephine?” he said and looked at her. She looked back and nodded.
“I just…” Gabriel started and shivered, “I just don’t want it to happen again.”
Laken shook her head and blew another bubble. “Bad things happen.” she said and kept chewing. Gabriel watched a young girl pass them by.
“Sometimes though,” Laken said, “I do understand her frustration over what we do.”
A man came up to the girl asking her for cigarettes.
“Sometimes I want to stop certain things from happening. There are so many vile people in this world.”
The man suddenly dragged the girl to the ground forcing himself on her.
“You’re not God,” Gabriel said softly. He tried to block the screams from entering his mind. “God might have put people on earth but he also gave them a free will. This is how some people use it.”
The girl put the small can up in front of her attacker and sprayed the content in his eyes. He swore and held his hands over his face. Laken took her gum out and threw it in the trashcan. She looked Gabriel in the eyes one last time. “I’m happy it’s you and me through all of this. We’re lucky to have found true and lasting love,” she said and walked off. Gabriel glanced at the mess. The man was blinded but now had his hands around the girl’s throat. As the man confused, drunk, blinded and afraid of himself and his own actions ran off in his own pitch black darkness, Gabriel saw Laken sit down next to the strangled girl and kiss her forehead before saying goodbye.
He sighed deeply, turned and walked away. He thought about Laken’s last words to him. She was happy to have him. He shrugged. “I don’t feel anything,” he muttered to himself. “Nothing but… discomfort.”
Halting and looking back, he saw Laken running after him. With a deep sigh he kept a steady pace. Laken slowed down, calling his name desperately. Gabriel walked faster.
“Enough,” he whispered. Laken stopped and was soon completely out of his view. He shook his head, thinking of how foolish he had been indulging in love when he had so many more important things to do.
William waved from the balcony as he spotted Kira on the street. “The front door is open!” She nodded and disappeared from his view. He sat down next to Eric and had some more beer.
“Thank God she didn’t decide to hang around with David…” Eric said and rolled his eyes.
William agreed and shook his head. Some minutes later Kira entered the balcony and they both stood up, smiling. She looked at Eric. “Hi,” she said.
Eric smiled back and opened a beer for her. “Welcome to my new home.”
The night was a good one. After several beers and mingling with the crowd, all three felt happy and without a single worry on their minds. After six beers, Eric saw Kira walk towards him. She smiled. “You haven’t given me a tour of your flat yet, shame on you,” she said and took his hand. Eric showed her the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room and the computer room. He explained everything about the design and Kira listened, holding his hand tight. They walked up the stairs and he showed her the view from the bedroom.
“And for the final stop on this magnificent tour, the second bathroom!” he said and opened the door, letting Kira walk inside. It was not huge but still roomy enough for a shower, a wide beautiful sink and a big bathroom mirror.
“I like it,” Kira said stepping into the shower, running her fingers down its gold colored handle. Eric watched her. He let his eyes wander to her neck, down her chest… She felt him stare and her smile was somewhat diminished. She didn’t want to do this…
Eric didn’t see. All he saw was her skin. He reached out and touched her. She sighed silently. Eric did not notice and pushed her softly up against the wall. He locked the door, kissing her neck and she closed her eyes. As his hand reached under her top, David’s voice echoed in her mind. Each time you try to connect with them, it only leads to sex. She pushed Eric off and reached for the door, which he quickly blocked. “What’s wrong?” he said. As he started kissing her again, she moved away and sat down on the toilet. “I don’t feel like doing this,” she whispered and stared at her own hands. Eric sighed and she realized how right David had been.
“Okay. Why not?” Eric asked.
“Do I have to want to do you or what?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it!” Eric moved over to her and crouched down. He looked her in the eyes and saw the approaching tears. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, he wanted to just be her friend and he wanted to make her feel better. He opened his mouth and said…
“Just one more kiss.”

He couldn’t believe what came out. He panicked and tried to fix it.
“Just let me touch you, it’s nothing to be scared of. I love..,” he started and she looked at him, hopeful. “I love being inside of you…” he continued and she sighed. How could she ever have thought love would be enough…
Deep inside, Eric hated himself. He wanted to run away but just couldn’t. A tear fell down Kira’s face and she looked away. Eric put his hands on her thighs and started playing slowly, carefully. Another tear fell as she closed her eyes.
“I… I’m sorry!” Eric said and took his hand off her. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I must be drunk…”
Kira sighed. “It’s okay, Eric…”
“No, it’s not okay!”
Silence. He touched her legs again, moving closer and closer… He stood up on his knees, kissing her. At first she refused to move her lips, then she slowly met his tongue… He put one hand behind her neck, tugging her closer, kissing her harder. The other hand moved over her thigh …
Kira breathed in and lust overpowered them both. The world disappeared. Still, now and then, Eric panicked and tried to stop. He couldn’t. And now and then, Kira cried desperately, trying to push Eric off. As he finally released her from his tight and lustful grip he lay down next to her on the bathroom floor, panting. The fire died out and the floor felt cold. Reality caught up with them.
Kira cried, Eric stared at the ceiling.
“I’m really, really, really sorry,” he whispered to her.
“I slept with William, too.,” she said and Eric cursed under his breath. “I know, he told me. I shouldn’t have slept with you, too…” he said and watched Kira stand up and dry her tears.
“I mess both of you up. I can’t do this anymore…” she mumbled.
Eric sat up. “I think we need time apart,” he whispered.
She watched him with tired eyes. For a while they just stared at each other. Then she turned, unlocked the door and walked out of Eric’s apartment, out of Eric’s life. He closed the door behind her, locking it once more.

Then he cried.

“Oh, what a lovely… knitted… something.”

William held some kind of unsuccessful attempt of a cap up and smiled weakly at his wrinkled half blind, half deaf aunt. Falling asleep in her seat, their mother had to gently nudge her in the side. The aunt nodded but turned to Eric. “Congratulations, boy.” she said and smiled. This had been her standard phrase for about five years now.
Later on, Eric and William kissed their mother goodbye and got into William’s car. Eric laughed. “Always the same story each and every birthday for you and I…”
William grinned while backing out of the driveway. They drove for a while.
“Next week it will be two years since your examination, Eric. Pretty awesome, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, pretty cool.”
“… It will also be around two years since you first met Kira.”
“Oh my god why do you always come back to her? F*****g stop it,” Eric said and crossed his arms and stared out the window.
“Alright, alright… Chill.”
Silence. “I just think we ought to talk about it some day…” William mumbled.
“Why?”
“Because she was a friend...”
“Was she now?”
William looked at his brother in the passenger seat with raised eyebrows. “What else was she?”
Eric shrugged. William shifted gear and watched the road again. “I know what you’re thinking,” he said, “but it’s not true. Both you and me meant more to her than that. And she meant more to us than that, too. Yes, a lot of crazy s**t went on and for some reason both of us went to bed with the same girl, over and over and over again. For some reason she let it happen and here and there I bet we all kind of questioned in our seperate corners what the hell was going on... but I honestly do not think none of us did wrong. I think all of us just simply... lost it.” He sighed. “Because of that, she walked away. Because of that it has been a good thing she hasn’t phoned either of us in such a long time. She never abandoned us, broke any promises or anything. She simply understood that it was time to leave.”
Eric sighed. “I understood that too, Will. That’s why I think it’s best to not even talk about her since...” William sighed dissapprovingly and Eric looked at him, irritated.
“Oh come on!” he said, “Give me a break here! If that’s what I think is best for me, you shouldn’t...”
“Eric for f**k sake... You haven’t looked at another girl since she left and you’ve been distant and absent-minded. It’s obvious that she’s on your mind and you can’t let her go. Either talk about her or put her out of your head. Alright?” William concluded and glanced in Eric’s direction.
“It has been a difficult year,” Eric started, “...I don’t mean to blame her. I just miss her. There, that’s the honest truth.”
William looked at him and smiled. “There you go! But you’ve had some time to gather your thoughts now. I bet that when she comes back, you’ll be more prepared and poised to deal with...”
“Will, stop!!”
Someone stepped out in front of the car and William threw himself on the brakes. “Is he crazy?!” he yelled. Eric caught a glimpse under the hood, jumped out of the car and ran after the pedestrian. William parked at the sidewalk and stared out, confused. He saw Eric reach after the person and pull the hood off.
“I’ll be damned,” William said to himself. “Talk about timing.”

They sat down together in a small Starbucks down the road. Kira sipped her coffee. “I’m glad to see you,” she said.
“Same to you,” William answered and dared a glance in her direction.
“What have you been up to?” she said and looked at them.
“Nothing much,” William responded. “Just work. Yesterday I sold something resembling a small castle to a man that claimed he needed a big house for when Tupac would come to visit.”
Eric and Kira laughed and the tension eased a little. They looked at each other and Eric felt his face turn red.
“What have you been up to, Eric?” Kira asked and he shrugged.
“Work. Keeping busy.”
“… What about you?” William said. The brothers watched her expectantly. She stirred her coffee.
“I’ve been moving as you know. I still live in town,” she said.
“It’s not easy finding a good spot in this town. How’d you do it?” William asked and Kira sighed. “Don’t bite my head off, but…”
“Oh come on!” Eric said, already holding the answer.
“What? From who?” William said, looking from Eric to Kira and back again.
“David, who else?”
“David??”
“I said ‘don’t bite my head off’!!”
“… I’m sorry. I just don’t like him,” William said.
“He’s still helpful when push comes to shove,“ Kira muttered.
William decided to leave the subject alone and smiled. “Aren’t you going to invite us? We want to see the new Kira residence!” he said and she smiled.
“You really want to visit?” she said and both William and Eric, although not as eagerly as his brother, nodded. “Well… How about tomorrow evening?” she suggested. Her happiness over the fact tat none of the brothers seemed mad at her shone across her face.
“Absolutely!” William said but Eric shook his head.
“I can’t. I’m working late.”
Kira bit her lip. “Then how about you come over for dinner tonight? Around eight?”
Eric felt unsure about seeing Kira on his own again but nodded anyway.
“That’s settled then,” she said and put her jacket on. “See you soon.” She smiled widely and stepped out on the street again. They watched her run through the parking lot, put her hood up and disappear around the corner. Eric laughed. “We’re stuck with her no matter what we do, aren’t we?” he joked and William grinned.
“There is no escape!” he answered and they laughed loudly but half way through reality set it and the laughs died out and left them with a knot in their stomachs.
The coffee went cold, minutes passed and not another word was spoken until they left.

“You’re inviting them over?” David said standing in Kira’s kitchen, watching her do the dishes.
“Yes! What’s so weird about that?”
“You’ve managed fine without them! What you do is so destructive. You should be more like Gabriel,” David ended.
Kira frowned. “Alone? Calculating? Saddened? “
David grimaced and sat down.“Do you love them?”
Kira shook her head.
“Are you in love with them?”
Kira shook her head again. David poked at some breadcrumbs on the table. “They’re going to tell you to go against us, you know.”
“I know.”
“Are you?”
“Am I what?”
David gathered the breadcrumbs in his hand and went to the trashcan next to Kira.
“Will they make you theirs again?”
Kira put a clean plate aside and sighed. “I was never ‘theirs’, that’s... I mean... What I mean is that I just... “Kira swallowed hard. “Can we talk about something else?” she said and turned the water off. They walked into the living room. David sat down in the sofa and watched Kira light candles. He took her by the hand and dragged her down. Sitting there next to each other, David put his feet on the table and stared into the candlelight. “The bottom line is this: I miss you. I don’t like them. There, I said it.”
Kira smiled and the light of the candles danced in her eyes. David continued.
“Why don’t you like me? Is it because of what I do, what you used to do but have decided to despise? I mean, someone has to do it. Otherwise people would run around in panic all the time. Suicide attempts all over the world, all the time...”
“I don’t have anything against what you do,” Kira interrupted. “I just can’t do it myself.”
“… But it will kill you if you d…”
“Stop saying that!” Kira sighed and put her hands in front of her face. David sat in silence for a while, then cleared his throat.
“Look, I just miss you. I might have handled it badly but it’s because I really care about what you do with your life and how you feel. I don’t want you to wither. I still love you, you know.”
Kira lay down and sighed deeply. “You can’t leave me with this only an hour before Eric shows up… It’s not fair.”
David bit his lip and looked at her. “Then cancel the date…”
Kira gave him an angry stare. “Who do you think you are?” She kicked him softly but meaningfully with her bare foot and stared into the candlelights again.
About five minutes went by before David got to his feet. Kira watched him put his jacket on before following him to the door. Looking down at the door handle, he sighed. “Whatever happens, please tell me about it,” he said and squeezed the handle hard.
“It won’t make you any happier,” Kira answered.
David closed his eyes, pushed down the handle and walked out without looking back.
Gabriel stared at the ceiling, his arms spread out at his sides. Sienna sat down next to him. The moonlit room gave her an uncanny appearance. Her icy gaze pierced through Gabriel. “Don’t do that,” he said and looked away. She sighed.
“How old is she?” Sienna said.
“Kira? Twenty three.”
“Then she can take care of herself.”
Gabriel sat up. “I doubt it.”
Sienna put her soft hand on his torso. “Let it go. Whatever happens, happens.”
“But she’s my responsibility!” Gabriel said and looked irritated.
“Not anymore,” Sienna replied, “she’s twenty three!”
“David and me taught her to take care of herself…”
“And that’s what she’s trying to do,” Sienna interrupted him, “Maybe it’s not going exactly the way you guys wished for but she still needs the chance to try on her own.”
Gabriel looked at her. “How can you stay so calm?” he said.
“How can you worry so much?” she answered and he snorted.
“I’ve already told you.”
Sienna put her white leggings on and buttoned her black shirt. “It’s not your fault if she turns bad or die, or…”
Gabriel stared angrily at her and she rolled her eyes. “What? It might happen!”
“I’m very well aware of that, just don’t spit in my face, Sienna!”
She shook her head and looked away. “You’re acting like a child.”
Back to back, they sat in silence for a while. Gabriel shifted uncomfortably.
“We should do something…” he said.
“You have already tried. She just won’t listen right now.”
“We should try harder,” he continued.
“Gabriel,” Sienna said in a serious tone. “You have done all you can.”
He stared out the window for a while, then leaned towards Sienna and embraced her.
“She will turn on us,” he whispered.
“Yes,” Sienna whispered back.
Gabriel sighed and dragged her down beside him. He positioned himself on top and kissed her throat. Sienna smiled and closed her eyes.
“Yes,” she whispered again, “she will, but in the meantime…”
Gabriel looked into her eyes. “In the meantime this is what I need,” he said and hands wandered down, down, down.

With a bottle of wine in one hand and a bundle of blue irises in the other, Eric tried to reach button eleven in the elevator in Kira’s building. Sighing, he put the wine on the floor and reached for the button once more. The elevator jumped to life and the wine fell to its side and rolled around until Eric, behind blue irises, finally managed to scoop it up in his free hand just before the door opened. He walked out into a rose sentenced, lavender tapestried hallway. Door number 15 was straight ahead.
Before he had time to breathe in and feel ready… Kira opened the door. She smiled at the sight of Eric behind an ocean of blue flowers and tilted her head a little.
“May I help you?” she said, sarcastic. Eric laughed and gave her the wine.
“Here…”
“Wow, thank you.”
He disentangled himself from the bouquet and handed it over too. “Maybe it’s a bit too big, I don’t know...” he mumbled nervously and picked a leaf from inside his shirt. Kira laughed.
“Come on in…” she said and turned around.
Eric picked another leaf from his hair before looking up. His face went red. Kira wore a pink dress and her blonde hair in a tight ponytail. Stunning. He smiled and walked inside her apartment. “Oh, f**k,” he managed. Stepping into the living room, he coughed. “Oh, holy f**k.”
From the high ceiling, spotlights were dimmed low and candles lined the mantelpiece. The scent of burnt wood filled the room and there was a gentle glow from the fireplace. The windows went from the floor to the roof and the view was magnificent. The busy city seemed quiet from up here, just an ocean of lights.
Looking around he saw Kira in the kitchen putting the flowers in water, pouring the wine into glasses. All surfaces around her were black marble, the kitchen supplies in silver. “Have a look around, will you?” Kira shouted and he nodded to himself and started exploring. He found a huge bathroom, an office and a bedroom. He smiled. This was her bedroom. He glanced inside carefully. A king-size bed stood in the middle against one of the walls. He spotted a pile of underwear on the floor next to it, blushed and respectfully closed the door and moved on. Pictures on the walls of the hallway showed different places of the world. Beautiful photos but he still wondered if he would somewhere find photos of the people she loved and cared for.
What about her family?
… Did she have one?

“The last room is where I work out, nothing fancy.”
Eric spun around to find Kira behind him with wineglasses in her hands. They cheered and drank. Eric pointed at the last door. “Workout, huh,” he said and opened. Three different machines stood in the room and on the floor he could also see the typical big blue ball of pilates. “Now I understand where you get your body from,” he said and she laughed. “Come on, let’s eat. No pizza this time, I hope that’s okay?” she said and blinked.

After dinner, they sat down in the living room sofa with their wine. Time had passed quickly and the bottle had been emptied fast. This was their second one and they both felt light-headed and happy.
“Oh, Eric, you idiot! Did you really do that?”
“Of course I did! A bet is a bet and I lost. So, there I stood in the street completely naked and I see my neighbour on her bicycle turn and stare. Stupid me decided to wave, and she crashed into a tree and broke her arm!”
Kira laughed so much she almost spilled her wine. Eric smiled and put her glass on the table. The laughter was eventually replaced by giggle and a while later, Kira laid down and put her feet in Eric’s lap. Silence fell and they looked at each other. Eric was the first to break the connection. He looked down at her feet and sighed.
“What is it?” Kira said.
“I don’t know,” he answered and shook his head. “I really don’t know.”
They sat in silence for another minute or two. “This is really romantic,” Eric said and looked at her.
“Thank you,” Kira replied and looked into the fire.
“But where are we heading?” he continued and she turned her eyes to him once more. “You seem to like me. The thing is that you seem to like William as well. You also seem to care a great deal about David. You fancy Gabriel, too.”
Kira shifted a little.
“I don’t mean to be a pain in the a*s,” Eric told her and stroke his hand over her foot, “but I’m beginning to like you enough to hate to have to share you with others, especially with my own brother. You do understand how weird that must feel, don’t you?”
“Absolutely,” Kira whispered, looking troubled but understanding. “I just haven’t made up my mind yet.” She sat up straight. “I… this is… oh, Eric…”
Eric shook his head. “I have no right to ask you to decide anything. I just wanted you to know where I stand. I’m falling in love, I think. You take your time but please… just… not my brother…”
Kira took his hand. “Will is a friend. Whatever more we have done has ended. I think he feels that too. He’s like a best buddy or something. That’s all there is left.”
“That’s good, then,” he said and smiled, jumping with joy on the inside.
She lay down again looking into the fireplace. “About David…” she said and Eric went pale.
“No, no, don’t explain. I don’t want to know. No details. No… nothing. I know it’s not time for you to leave him fully yet. I don’t understand why but it’s up to you and I won’t stand in your way.” Eric poured the last wine into their glasses. “Here’s to you and me, whatever we are.” The glasses clinked together. As Eric drank, he felt Kira move closer and closer. He shut his eyes still holding the glass to his lips, frozen. Her soft breath felt warm on his cheek. Her tongue touched the side of his lips and small hands removed his glass.

The thoughts of jealousy died while romantic passion filled the dreamlike living room.

“Tequila.”
The bartender smiled widely and hurried away. The woman sat alone in the bar, staring bored in front of her. Another tequila shot was placed in front of her along with the salt and the lemon. She swept the liquid and left the rest, still staring out into nothingness. The bartender leaned forward.
“Are you here alone, honey?” he said and she looked at him.
“Would you like that?” she responded and he smiled. She looked down at her empty glass and quickly received a refill. As she swept this too, another man took a seat next to her and the bartender, a little disappointed, took his order.
“And whatever this lady wants,” the man said and nodded at her. He shook her hand. “I’m Dan.”
“Jenny.”
“Sexy.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, real sexy…” Jenny snorted and shook her head, still extremely bored and unimpressed. The bartender watched her from where he stood. He was fighting his anger about the man next to Jenny when he suddenly saw her stiffen and stare blindly in front of her. He stopped wiping his glass and looked at her intently. Her eyes had stopped registering her surroundings as if she weren’t there any more. He breathed in as the color in her eyes suddenly drained. For a second or two, he thought he could only see the white in her eyes, then the green tone was replaced by a piercing blue. She turned in her barstool to face Dan who had apparently not noticed the change. He looked content as she suddenly placed her hands on his legs.
“Are you here often?” she said and he nodded. “Do you get a lot of ladies?”
Dan nodded again, this time with overflowing pride.
“Do you get to do it a lot?” Jenny continued, registering in the corner of her eye that the bartender was staring at her. Dan nodded again and straightened up. “Of course I do but none as fine and bright as you. They’re all young, stupid and inexperienced but damn, they’re easy to get. You on the other hand, you’re… hardcore. You’re… sex. I so want to do you…” he whispered, licking his lips. The bartender coughed loudly and entered the conversation.
“Dan, this lady is a fine one, okay? No such talk.”
Dan laughed and looked him up and down. “You don’t know me, you have no right to…”
“I’ll f**k you.”
The two men looked at Jenny. “I never said I wouldn’t f**k you, Dan,” she said, completely unconcerned. Dan drank his beer fast and pushed the glass to the bartender. He gave him an evil smug and walked Jenny to the men’s room.
Gabriel woke with a jerk, sweating, coughing and trembling. Calming hands moved over his back and he lay down again.
“Nightmares?”
He nodded. Laken watched him with her violet eyes and kissed his forehead. For a split second Gabriel was surprised to see her there but then remembered leaving Sienna for a quick taste of Laken. Good God this was confusing... He swallowed hard when he thought about the consequences of his actions if Laken ever found out but quickly returned to more urgent matters. “Didn’t you feel it?” he asked and looked her in the eyes.
“Yes, I did.”
“Didn’t it scare you?”
She shook her head and continued kissing him. “Let’s go back to sleep, Gabriel.”
He stared at the ceiling. “That wasn’t a normal death,” he said.
She smiled and continued kissing him. He turned and stared at her, meaningfully. “Shouldn’t we do something about this?” he said. “Shouldn’t you?”
She took his hand and kissed one finger at the time. “I am doing something about it.”
He didn’t understand.
“Go back to sleep,” she said and locked him in with her gaze. As he unwillingly drifted off, he heard her speak: “Everything will be alright. One way or the other.”
Across town, Eric removed Kira’s black dress to admire her with all senses he could. He explored her body like it was new, like he had never touched it before. Everything felt enchanted. The room, the candles, the wine, the dinner, the fireplace, the view of the city so far down below them. And Kira. She leaned against the wall and kissed his neck gently. He put his hand on her neck and inhaled her soothing scent. This was like a dance in slow motion. It was a beautiful moment and he didn’t want to spoil it with his stupid eagerness. He concentrated...

… And saw another woman… His hands moved over a slightly darker tone of skin in a filthy public toilet…
… Kira’s mouth met his and tongues touched… He looked into her green eyes and stroked her dark hair… blonde hair..? Green eyes? He ran his fingers through dark brown curls, ripped the necklace from her and kissed her, violently unzipping her jeans…
Kira helped him pull the rest of the black dress down and started unbuttoning his shirt… or ripped it off…?
Lust took over, he felt the wine in his mouth and the tequila in hers and… or was it beer he had been drinking? Had Kira had tequila? Really?

Confusion battled with lust and Dan pushed and pulled Jenny around the little booth in the bathroom with a strong craving driving him forward. She turned around, pulling her jeans off. Dan hurried removing his and began struggling with her bra. He breathed in her scent, slightly confused of the sudden change of perfume.
Didn’t Kira smell of roses just a second ago? This new scent was of musty spices, a much stronger, more luring scent…
Dan didn’t care what her scent was. She could smell however she wanted, change her perfume if she felt like it, as long as he got what he wanted…

“Wait.”

Eric stopped , quite frustrated and stared at Jenny where she stood, her back against the wall. Dan backed a little, looking at Kira, trying to be patient.
“Yes, what?”
“Something’s wrong,” Jenny and Kira answered.
Dan laughed and touched the tanned skin again. Eric looked at Kira and blinked.
“What? Dan said, trying to get her to look him in the eyes. “What the hell is wrong?”
Kira stood quiet a while.
Jenny stood quiet for a while.
“What is wrong…” Kira started, “… is you, being alive,” they said and raised their heads.

Dan screamed and backed away but was soon trapped in Jenny’s gaze. Kira screamed and held her hands in front of her eyes. “Don’t look at me, Dan!!” she screamed at Eric who staggered backwards and saw her sink to the floor. He rushed over to try and help her…
… He was in the bathroom again, in tremendous agony. He fell to the floor next to Kira. Looking up, a girl with brown curls sat above him, shifting in and out of focus, sometimes brown haired, sometimes Kira. He heard himself scream in another man’s voice and felt something warm trickle from his ears down his neck. Jenny smiled at him and the blue stare felt familiar. He suddenly knew what was happening to Dan. She was killing him.

“Eric!!”
He left Dan’s body and lay on his back in Kira’s apartment again. He turned his head and saw Kira sitting against the wall, shaking and holding her hands over her eyes. The scene shifted and he was Dan again. Jenny grinned down at him, threading his heart, destroying as much as she could inside of him.
“Why?” he heard himself say through Dan.
Jenny blinked and excruciating pain made the muscles in his body flex and burst.
“Why?” Jenny said looking down at the destroyed body of Dan. She fastened her stare, the eyes went dark and his soul suddenly drifted with a grey shimmer over Eric. He felt sick as Jenny leaned down and kissed him on the lips.
“You didn’t have to die. Your hourglass was still quite full. I just needed to smash something to pieces. Thank you for being there.”
Half an hour after the bartender had watched the pair walk into the bathroom, Jenny reappeared at the bar, ordering another tequila shot. He gave it to her without the salt or lemon. She smiled and looked at him. “Thanks, honey.”
He staggered a few steps back, feeling as though she had pierced him to the wall. Breathing heavily he turned around, trying to calm down. One hand moved up to his heart, trying to steady its uneven beat. Something had tugged at it and although the temperature in the bar was high, he felt cold. A scream from across the room caught his attention.
“There’s a dead guy in the men’s room, I swear his dead, I’m not drunk, get off of me!!”
His eyes shifted to Jenny. She looked at him, licked her lips and rose from her chair.
“Have a nice night,” she said and left the bar.

“ERIC!!!”
With a jerk he was back with Kira again. His side hurt and he realized Kira had just kicked him hard, shaking him loose from the terrible visions just before Dan had died. “You can’t… You can’t stay there! You stupid… f**k! Do you want to die?” she yelled, still holding her hands over her own eyes. “I tried to shield you by turning myself away, what the hell did you have to go into his body for?”
Eric was panting heavily, sweating. “I didn’t do anything,” he said and tried to sit up.
Kira removed her hands from her eyes and Eric could see her tears.
“I really didn’t do anything. It just happens on its own.”
She looked at him. “Has it happened before?”
He shrugged. “Not like this. Nothing this heavy. What was it?”
Kira moved to his side, hugging him, crying.
“Kira, it’s okay… I think..?”
Kira shook her head. “No, it’s not okay. That was not normal. You saw it too! I… We don’t kill people! People kill people! We don’t!” she said, looking at him with fear and panic across her face. He wiped the sweat off her forehead, completely clueless of what she meant. “Why… why did I see that? How?” he eventually said.
“You were close to me, I think that’s why. We shared a lot a minute ago”
“Oh.”
“Eric… I don’t want you to hurt, you’d better leave.”
Eric took her hands in his and looked her in the eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”
She managed a faint smile before starting to cry. Eric held her in her arms, rocking her back and forth. He thought about the recent event. “Was it real?” He felt Kira nod. So, it had happened. Somewhere out there someone had just murdered a man named Dan. Eric felt like throwing up but kept quiet and calm for Kira.

One hour later, they lay before the fireplace covered in blankets. Though sobbing every now and then, Kira slept. Eric didn’t. It seemed to him like an irrelevant thing to do now. His mind wandered to Dan, dead and torn apart in a filthy public bathroom somewhere in the city.

One and a half month of silence. No word from Kira.
Eric dragged himself to work every day. Every morning he sat by his phone, daring himself to pick it up and dial her number. He never did. He had been browsing the web for news on the murder of Dan, but with no success.
“Eric?”
He sat by his window watching the birds on the roof of the next building, feeling dull and empty, the outcast in what was called reality. He felt misplaced in an office with men in suits. He felt wrong being a man in a suit. Nothing seemed to fit, all was as grey as the rainy streets outside.
“Eric? Hello?”
Eric watched his assistant sit down and put a pile of paper on his desk. “Hi Vanessa.”
She tilted her head and looked troubled. “You'd better snap out of it soon, you know. There’s someone here to see you. Can you have a visitor or are you busy? It’s a… Mr. Hahn.”
Eric waved his hand in the air. “Show him inside.” He began sorting the papers in alphabetical order, sighing softly. In the corner of his eye, Mr. Hahn emerged and Eric raised his head hastily and stood up. Gabriel walked towards him, unbuttoning his coat. Eric sighed, actually feeling a bit relieved. It had been difficult lately to keep it together. This odd, twisted person in front of him, a person he used to hate, actually felt like the most sane one in the room now. “I figured you would return sooner or later,” Eric said and offered Gabriel a seat. “What can I do for you?”
Gabriel pointed at Eric’s window. “What a view,” he said. Eric squinted his eyes a little.
“Did you know him?” he said, “The man who died?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Did you know her?” Eric continued and looked at Gabriel who shook his head.
“No I didn’t, but her name is Jenny…”
“Yeah, I know” Eric snapped. “I had to kiss her… or… you know.”
Gabriel gazed out the window and crossed his arms over his chest. “How is Kira?”
Eric felt a slight irritation grow inside of him. “Ask her yourself.”
“I came here to ask for your permission. I take it I just got it,” Gabriel said and got to his feet. Eric looked puzzled.
“Wait.”
Gabriel looked at him.
“My permission?” Eric said and grinned. Gabriel started buttoning his coat again.
“I have recently realized your importance in this,” he said and Eric raised his eyebrows. “You matter to her, therefore I think it’s best to ask you before entering her life again,” Gabriel explained. “The risk is smaller that she refuses us if we’ve got your permission to talk to her.”

Eric laughed. “This is mental…”
“If you say so,” Gabriel said and raised his collar high. “Thank you for seeing me.” Eric leaned back and watched him walk. “Why did she do it?” he said and Gabriel stopped. “Why did Kira possess Jenny? That’s what happened, isn’t it? Jenny was just a normal girl, wasn’t she?”
With his back still towards Eric, Gabriel paused for a long while but then kept walking, leaving Eric without any answers.

“I figured it out myself, you don’t have to help me.”

Kira closed the door right in David’s face. He sighed and waved at a neighbor waiting by the elevator. “She’s in one of her mood swings. You know, women.” He rolled his eyes and the man sniffed.
“They’re never satisfied!” he said and stepped into the elevator. David waited until the door closed, then banged hard on hers. She opened and stared angry at him. Pushing past her, he entered her apartment and headed for the living room. Standing by the large windows he waited for her to calm down. After a while she joined him with crossed arms, biting her lip. David looked troubled. “What do you mean you figured it out?”
“I mean I know what I did.”
David removed hair from her tired face. She bit her lip harder as he laid his hands on her but didn’t seem to mind too much. “It wasn’t you. Jenny had those feelings, too. You simply enhanced the effect.”
She snorted at him. “It’s also called ‘murder’.” She looked up at David to see his response. He kept calm.
“… No. That wasn’t murder,” he whispered. Kira moved closer, putting her head on his chest. Two hands connected and David shuddered. “You need to stop,” he said.
“Maybe that’s too late,” she responded and looked at him, taking his other hand. “Maybe I can’t.” They looked into each others eyes for a long time. Kira leaned in to kiss him but David moved away.
“What about Eric…”
Kira let go of his hands, watching him sadly. “I’m letting him go,” she said.
David felt satisfied. Eric was out of the picture. He had her to himself. Taking her hands again, he looked her in the eyes. “You’re not a murderer. And it’s not too late to change,” he said.
“I think…” she said and looked at him. “…that only time will tell.”
He smiled dragged her close to him. “I’m always here for you.”
“I know.”
They held each other for several minutes without speaking. Thoughts rushed through their heads. Then Kira leaned in and kissed David.
One hour later Kira watched him sleep, buried under the sheets in her bedroom.
She smiled and sighed happily. She was back with the right man. She liked Eric but Davidunderstood. David was better.

Kira blinked and those beautiful blue oceans of hers darkened. She sat up slowly, putting her clothes on. As David started waking up, she leaned forward and looked him in his worried, weary eyes.
“What's... where are you...” he started but got no further.
“I am leaving and you will stay.” Kira said, locked him with her penetrating shadows and forced him back to sleep.
There was a knock on the door, Gabriel yawned opened it.
Outside he found Eric, panting frantically. Gabriel raised his brows. Laken appeared behind him. “Hello Eric,” she said, “nice of you to stop by.” Gabriel turned to her. She smiled. “I thought we might need me some day, so I gave him this address,” she explained. “Come in.”
Eric struggled to get his jacket off but his arms were shaking too much. Laken helped him and showed him into the living room. He crashed in the sofa and tried to calm down. Gabriel positioned himself in front of him, crossing his arms. Eric inhaled. “Did that happen, too?” he said and looked at Gabriel who turned to Laken. She nodded. “If you saw it, it’s true.”
“What?” Gabriel said, staring at her. “I haven’t seen anything.”
“Well, of course not. It hasn’t really happened yet,” she explained.
Gabriel pointed at Eric. “Then what about him?!”
Eric stood up. “Hey! I can’t help it!” he said, “I never chose these f*****g dreams!”
“Why is he so special?” Gabriel continued, ignoring Eric’s protests. “He’s only human!”
“Heeey!” Eric stood up with his hands at his sides. “Being human is good, we live pretty problem-free lives, you know!” He theatrically held his hand in front of his mouth and breathed in. “Oh, I forgot. Apparently we don’t. No, these days we dream of death and destruction, and nothing is allowed to be simple anymore!!” he screamed. “I didn’t choose this, Gabriel!”

“Yes, you sort of did.”
Eric and Gabriel slowly turned to Laken. She smiled her naive little smile at them but sighed after a while and rolled her eyes. “Don't you get it?” she said.
“What the f**k am I supposed to get?” Eric said stared at her blankly. “... Death and destruction?”
Laken giggled and punched him softly. “No, silly...” She watched them both and quickly realized she was the only one seeing the amusingly quaint quality of the situation. “Uhm. My apologies.”
Gabriel raised his eyebrows. “Well??”
“Oh! Right!” Laken said and smiled. “It's quite easy, but boys will be boys and women are from Mars!”
“Venus...” Eric mumbled and sighed.
“Well as long as you get where I'm going with this, it doesn't matter if...”
“No, I really don't get it because you keep going around it!!” Eric said in a raised, irritated voice.
“I'm just trying to...”
“Just spit it out!”
“LOVE!” Laken yelled and waved her hands in the air, “For crying out loud, it's so easy and I'm amazed you haven't seen it! You love each other! You love her and have so much overflowing compassion for her that you're connected through it. I mean you already know she's not, by your standards, a normal girl. She can lock in on your heart and soul and pull it out of your body. Is it really that difficult to ideate how that talent of hers works when her own heart is colored by love?”

Gabriel slowly sat down in the sofa but Eric remained standing. He stared at her even more blankly than before. “Ah....ha. Yes. This makes... perfect sense.” he said and Laken smiled happily. Eric continued. “Or...” he said and waved a finger in the air, “Or... maybe, just maybe, this is by far the worst explanation I have heard in my whole entire life.”
Laken muttered under her breath. “Why can't you just believe me? This is a good thing, Eric!”
“A... good thing? A... good thing that she is out there killing people? Or a good thing that love apparently lets us experience the death and destruction together? Because... I rather not!”
“I saw how she hated this early on, her purpose in life. I knew there was a risk she would stop listening to us and I figured she would turn to someone willing enough to take her in without asking too many questions. After all, this has happened in the past with others and they all follow pretty much the same pattern. Anyway, I saw her in the bar with William and I watched them leave together. I kept my eyes on them... and found you.” She looked at Eric. “I didn't know there and then... I just had this feeling that you were good for her, that there was something powerful going on.”
“So...” Eric started, “all this god damn agony of mine is based on your... 'feeling'”?
Laken smiled and tilted her head. “It was a strong feeling, not just a feeling among others. Call me... well, call me a romantic!”
Eric sank down next to Gabriel in the sofa. Laken was on her way to sit down next to him. “No, no. Not a step closer,” he said and held a warning hand out. She backed away and looked out the window.
“You don't want to believe me, I understand that,” she said, “but you have to. You came here tonight for a reason. You saw something terrible and it involved her. She's reaching out to you because of that emotional tie you have. You're here because you know it's time to help her, because you care.” She looked at Eric. “Because you love.”

Eric wanted to be furious at her but the anger never really surfaced. He wasn't ready to face the facts just yet, but one thing pressed on inside of him. Kira was in trouble with no way out but him. He stood up and walked towards the front door.

“I know where she is.”
Walking down into the subway system, Kira had her eyes fixed upon the back of a middle aged woman hurrying down the steps. The woman was crying and looking back as she ran unto the platform, screaming for help. A teenage boy turned around, looking confused. “What’s going on?” he said and watched the woman point in Kira’s direction. “Hey, what's happening here?” the boy said to Kira, “This woman wants to talk to you, she seems… “
“No!” the woman shrieked.
“… scared of something…”
Kira reached them and the woman backed away, panting. The boy stepped in between and smiled a confused smile. Kira watched him.
“What are you two fighting about? Come on, there must be a better way to…”
A second later he lay on the platform, stiff and cold. The woman had stopped crying and watched the boy with wide eyes.
“Look at me,” Kira demanded and unwillingly the woman’s eyes turned to her.
“What have I done? Please tell me what I’ve done!” the woman said and tears gathered in her eyes again. Kira’s ice-blue stare was indifferent.
“I don’t know,” she said bluntly.
The woman shook her head. “I don’t understand…”
“Of course you don’t,” Kira said in a patronizing tone of voice. “You’re only human.”
The woman looked at Kira. “… God give me grace, God…”
“If God existed he wouldn't have made me,” Kira said calmly, gave her an uncanny smile and hit her across the face. She stumbled and lost her footing. Kira crouched down and grinned. “This is where I walk you to the other side,” she said and watched blood trickle from the corner of the woman’s mouth. She locked their eyes together and torn the woman’s heart in pieces one swift movement. She didn’t even have time to scream and just looked up in horror. For a second, hesitation flickered in Kira’s eyes but it was too late. The woman’s eyes rolled upwards and as she breathed out, the silver substance of her soul left her body and vanished. Kira got to her feet and stood silent for a while, breathing heavily. She then kicked the dead body in front of her. “F**k!! Don’t die that fast!!” she yelled and kept kicking in frustration. After a while she sat down beside it, huddled up and cried.
A hand patted her reassuringly on her shoulder and she froze.
“… You can’t stop me,” she said.
“Hopefully you're wrong.”
“Just go. It's too late.” Kira continued and removed Laken's hand from her shoulder. Laken looked at the body of the woman, then she glanced at the boy’s body a few paces behind them. “Who was the real target?” she said and Kira sniffed.
“Who cares?”
“You do.”
“You don't know me any longer...”
Steps echoed behind them. Kira turned and saw Gabriel and David approach her. Behind them walked Eric. She laughed and stood up. “Oh, Eric,” she said, “here for a quick one?” she said and bit her lip. He looked away. “No? I thought that was what we did best. I thought that was what you wanted, someone good enough to f**k whenever you wanted to. Oh, well. It was fun while it lasted.”
Eric swallowed hard. Gabriel nudged him in the side. “Don’t listen.”
Eric dared a glance at her and was heart-stricken. Her hair stuck to her sweaty forehead, her lips were dry and those eyes of hers... those eyes shifted in color without her realizing it. He couldn't believe this was the same girl buying him coffee at the library or having pizza with him while looking out the window, so beautiful and so serene. “This isn’t you,” Eric whispered and Kira laughed.
“Don’t even try to…” she started but was cut off since the boy suddenly grunted and coughed. Kira didn’t pay him much attention but watched the others reactions. “I thought I’d spare him,” she said. “Now I don’t know…”
David stepped forward but stopped as Kira dragged the boy to his feet, holding him by the neck. “He’s half dead already.”
Eric looked at the boy, then at Laken, then at Kira. “No…” he whispered.
Kira smiled widely. “I’m a lost cause, don’t you realize that?” she shouted. “This is what I get for not following their stupid rules. This is what I get for trying to be good!” The boy grunted once more and the sound of him trying to catch his breath made Eric shift his compassion to him instead of her where it had been resting for such a long time. Kira felt the security of his love leave him while another emotion slowly flooded in; Hate. In confusion she looked at him. “Eric? What are you doing?” The boy panicked in her grip and when she didn't let go, Eric’s anger boiled. Kira coughed. “What the hell are you doing?” she said while his new found feelings spread like a plague through her body.
Eric had never felt this kind of hatred before. Kira, neither. It troubled her. Her vision became blurry and she had to focus hard to stay in control. She changed the grip from the boy's neck to his throat and listened as he fought even harder for air. But the uneasy feeling inside continued to grow, so she turned her back on everyone and started walking. Eric watched her bare back. The tattoos were in a riot, moving across her skin like serpents and running water, like waves and ripples. She held the boy over the rails. “Stop hurting me,” she panted.
“No one’s hurting you…” David started.
“Someone’s messing with my head! Or my... heart, I don't really... Someone is doingsomething and I need it to stop!” she screamed. Gabriel looked at Laken who nodded in Eric’s direction.
All Eric knew was anger.
All he knew what that he hated Kira and he channeled it towards the subject of his abhore. Kira screamed and fell to her knees, releasing the boywho fell down on the tracks. David jumped down next to him. Kira held her hands to her head and kept screaming. Eric moved closer as he saw that she was about to cry. As he crouched down next to her, she looked at him and for a second, all he wanted to feel was love again. He wanted to love her and to save her because the sight of her now was unbearable. Her left eye was blue, the sclera red. Her right eye was pitch black. She looked as she probably felt: Possessed.
“Kira, are you in there?” Eric ventured, “Because if you are, it means that this isn’t really you. That means I don’t hate you, only this image of you.”
The tattoos crawled uncontrollably all over her skin now. He could see them wind around her throat, search their way over her tortured face and twine themselves around her chest. With a great deal of courage, Eric reached out and held her. Closing his eyes to avoid the horror show in front of him, he gave her a kiss. He grimaced as he swallowed coldness and breathed in ash and soot. She tasted... dead.
Kira violently struggled in his grip but he held on tight. She desperately tried to bite him and caught his lip. Eric moaned and the kiss ended. The taste of blood and death lingering in his mouth made him want to throw up. She kept struggling to free herself but the screams had ended and were replaced by tears wetting her face now. He watched her tattoos move from her back, up his hands. Of course it frightened him but he knew he couldn’t let go just yet. The hate that had made her loose focus was replaced by love. He showered her with it, drained her in it.
Eric put his lips to her ear. She inhaled and waited.
“… I love you,” he whispered.

Kira screamed out her agony. Eric let go and she fell to the ground. As she kept screaming, twisting and turning, the tattoos retreated to her back and the color of her eyes shifted faster than ever. Something seemed to crawl under her skin. One last scream, cutting through Eric’s soul, and light and sound clawed its way out of her. The power trapped inside found a way out and slowly began to fade with something similar to a cry. Just like the shimmer of souls leaving a body, the menace inside of Kira let go, surrendered and dissappeared.

Silence.

David lay the unconscious boy out of harm's way on the platform floor and got up from the tracks again. He glanced at Laken and Gabriel. Their eyes were fixed on Eric. He watched him. Eric sat on the ground, patting Kira on the head. She was dirty, sweaty and silent. A voice announced that the last train would arrive in two minutes. David walked towards Kira, lifted her in his arms and carried her up the stairs, not looking back. Eric wanted to follow but knew not to.
He watched Laken touch the lifeless woman on the ground and sigh. She mumbled a last good-bye and stood up. Gabriel stepped out in front of Eric. “Let’s go,” he said and Eric nodded.
The train arrived and the three of them stepped on.

Four years passed by.

William traveled the world, met girls and had a busy life, as always. Eric just worked, as always. He ate dinner with his mother every other Sunday and visited his father’s grave once a year. Occasionally William joined them. Eric got a raise and upgraded his kitchen, went to work in the morning and to bed at night. He and his brother had a beer or two in the weekends and now and then Eric managed to ask some beautiful lady out on a date. He lived pretty much the same life as everyone else. It simply went on. About two years after Eric’s last encounter with Kira in the deserted train station, he and William had dropped the subject. Eric had tried to explain what had happened down there but it was difficult and each time he mentioned it, his stomach turned inside out and he had to stop. It was easier to just let it go but even if the conversations had died out, the memories lingered. None of them ever forgot. Maybe that was why William traveled so much. Maybe that was why Eric was so caught up in work some days that his eyes throbbed and his head hurt at the end of the day. However it was, the topic “Kira” was gone for good and that was for the best.

Tonight, William had set Eric up with a date. He didn't quite like it but had promised his brother to keep an open mind, to try everything at least once. He struggled with his black tie for a while. “F**k these stupid things!” he muttered and cast it aside. He ran a comb through his hair and smelled his breath. Checking his watch, he swore and hurried to the front door. “So much for perfume, I’m already sweating like a pig!” he said to himself through gritted teeth. He stepped into his shoes without tying them properly. Locking the door behind him, he rushed down the steps and out the door. Across the street, he picked up some roses and waited impatiently in line at the counter. Something in the corner of his eye made him turn. Alone in a big vase stood a single blue iris. Eric stared at it and tears gathered in his eyes while memories of Kira in a lavender tapestried hallway flooded in. He remembered the flowers he gave her, that big, blue bundle of...

“Hey, you’re holding up the line!”

Eric mumbled sorry and moved forward.

Running down the stairs into the metro, he tried to desperately squeeze himself between the closing doors of a train but got stuck. “God damn it!!” he yelled as a passenger helped him force the doors open again, freeing him just in time before the train started moving. In the speakers, Eric heard the tired driver make fun of him and his fellow-travelers laughed. He bowed and smiled. “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he mumbled. “Thanks for saving my life!” Eric joked and shook the man’s hand, looking down at his own messed up jacket. “Oh, I wonder how I get this stain off…” he mused.

“It’s barely visible, Eric, no worries.”

Eric stopped moving while his eyes slowly wandered. He saw a familiar coat next to him. The train came to a halt and people jostled by him. The doors closed and the train gathered speed again. Eric watched Gabriel move and looked up. He pointed at some vacant seats, reluctantly Eric followed and they sat down. He stared out the window and saw Gabriel study him through the dirty glass. Eric sighed and looked at him. Gabriel kept staring out the window. The trained slowed once more and people hurried past them. A woman sat down next to Gabriel and he smiled at her. She blushed and fumbled with her mp3-player, switching song. Eric snorted. “I take it you and Laken are no longer seeing each other then?” he said and nodded at the woman. Gabriel gave him a smirk.

“I am allowed to smile at other people. And look who’s talking,” he said. Eric raised his eyebrows.

“Excuse me?”

“If I remember this right my friend, you and your dear brother both flirted with the same girl at the same time, and…”

“Drop it,” Eric said abruptly.

“... Well, this is awkward,” Gabriel stated.

“Hey…” Eric began, “how… ah… how… I mean…”

“She’s fine.”

Eric nodded and stared at his own hands. “Is she… Has she…”

“Like I said, she’s fine,” Gabriel concluded. Eric wanted to ask him so much. He wanted to spill every question he had been pondering over for the last four years but couldn’t find the courage to put any of it into words. The train slowed down and Gabriel rose. Eric sighed and abandoned his curiosity. Gabriel watched him in the corner of his eye. “It was love, wasn't it?” he said, “It was what Laken said it was... right?”

Eric laughed a little. “Why do you want to know? It's not like you're capable of it anyway.” Eric said without thinking. He quickly stood up. “I mean...” he started but Gabriel shook his head.

“I know exactly what you mean,”he said. “and it's quite alright. It's a far stretch to try to grasp a concept I'm not familiar with, but I wanted to understand because I never did back then. I never understood how your words, those three little words, could change so much and save her soul.”

The train stopped. Eric looked at him. “It's not in the words, Gabriel. It's in the heart.”

Gabriel smiled and shook his head, watching the doors open. “Eric?”

Eric watched him.

“Swing by the restaurant called 'Tripolo' tonight at eight if you have time. It's on this station, right up the escalator to the left.” Gabriel stepped off, the doors closed and the train started moving again. Eric almost pressed his face to the window and watched Gabriel as long as he could. In the tunnel he took his calendar out and scribbled down “Tripolo, 8”.

What a weird world.

When you get used to normality, capriciousness shows its witty mug again.

Talon smiled widely and gave Yumiko a big hug. “It's so good to see you again, where have you been?” he said and sat down next to her in the restaurant. Yumiko smiled a little and shrugged.

“I've been home. This country felt too violent for me. I know I can't escape what I am, so I figured that if I changed country, then maybe I could at least escape the violence I saw here,” she said. Talon skimmed through the menu and sighed. “Oh Yumiko...”

“I know, Talon. Death is still death. All that happened was that it shifted from brutal force to tragic suicide. It was still gruesome. So I came back. It's better to be with my friends through it all than to run and be forever alone,” she said and hugged Talon again.

The small brass bell over the creaky front door of the restaurant chimed and in stepped Laken and Gabriel. After welcoming back Yumiko, they took their seats around the small, yellow table and read the menu in the flickering light of the candles. Just a few moments later, David and Kira joined them and sat down. “How is everybody?” David said after ordering his fish and chips. “Had a good day?”

“I've met an old friend on the train today. He should be here any minute now,” Gabriel told him and cut his meat.

“Huh, really?” David said and stretched in his seat. He put his arm around Kira. “Anyone I know?”

“You used to anyway,” Gabriel continued, “Don't think you were too close though.” Laken nudged him in the side.

“Stop it,” she said, “Eat your food.”

Kira leaned back and slowly breathed out. “I'm so tired today.”

David smiled. “But you were good. You did a good job.”

“Well, I'm still just barely okay with what I do these days, so you can probably imagine how much tension I carry with me each and every time I go to someone.” Kira said tired but then sat straight up as her food arrived. She clapped her hands happily. “Oh, pizza!”

Talon laughed a little. “you don't seem too bruised though...”

The doorbell chimed once more and everyone except a very hungry Kira looked up. “You came!” Gabriel said. “Please have a seat.”

“Well Gabriel,” David sighed irritably, “you sure are full of... surprises.”

“Don't worry, I won't be long,” Kira heard someone mumble. She stopped eating and quickly looked up.

“Eric...” she whispered and stared at him with her big blue eyes. He sat down in front of her. Kira tried to speak but was lost for words. He smiled at her, her cheeks went warm and she shyly looked away. Eric watched her for a short while, sighed and rose again.

“This is a bad idea. Nice meeting you all again, I'm gonna... take off, so...”

Kira hastily rose, grabbed him by his arm and took him outside. Before leaving the restaurant, they heard David laugh his dry, resentful laugh. “Here we go again...”

Outside in the darkness the air was cold and moistened with drizzle. Kira stopped at the corner of the restaurant and let go of his hand. He watched her where she stood, looking down at the pavement, breathing heavily. The soft rain damped her clothes and small drops gathered in her blonde hair. He took his jacket off and walked closer. “Kira, it's freezing,” he said and gently let it rest on her shoulders.

“How did you find me?” Kira said, still staring at the pavement, shivering. Eric looked back at the restaurant.

“I met Gabriel in the subway earlier today. He told me to come. Am I wrong to be here?”

A drop of water loose itself from her tangled hair and landed on the collar of the borrowed jacket. She thought hard and long before answering. “It's good to see you,” she said but shook her head, “only it doesn't feel very wise. I'm confused, Eric.” She raised her icy gaze and looked straight at him. “Aren't you?”

For the first time ever, her piercing eyes didn't hurt him. They didn't do him any harm at all. They were just beautiful eyes and nothing to fear. He smiled. “I'm not confused, Kira.” He stepped a little closer. “I'm just happy to see you.” As he reached out, Kira turned her back on him and started nervously walking back and forth. She shook her head.

“We're not supposed to meet. You should be mad at me and I should stay away and... And Gabriel shouldn't tell you where to find me!”

“Come on, we live in the same city, we were bound to run into each other sooner or later!” Eric said and crossed his arms over his chest. “You're being silly.”

Kira stopped and turned to him. “I'm not being silly! This city is huge, you wouldn't have found me if Gabriel hadn't been stupid enough to...”

“You found Will! You found me! We met in the subway. You ate pizza with me, you followed me home. People do run into each other, even if the city is...”

Kira tugged Eric closer and her drizzle-wet lips met his. Before Eric had the time to really react, Kira had already ended the kiss and stepped away. She now stood with her hand covering her mouth. Eric sighed but smiled a little. “Kira it's okay. I don't mind! I'm not mad at you, I never were. I have thought about you a lot, you know...”

“I don't love you.”

He stopped, the smile vanished and bruised, he stared at her. “That...” he said. “is a lie whether you dare to admit it or not.” He reached out and took his jacket back. As he slowly put it on he watched her try to hide the tears that now trickled down her face by once again looking down at the pavement. Eric pressed his jaws together. “Don't... Don't spit inane nonsense in my face, Kira. I've been around you too long to buy your deceptions and evasions. Haven't you grown at all these last years? Are you still treading the same steps as before? Stop being this contradictive for f**k sake. Stop hurting yourself... and me.” Eric put his hood up and turned. A small hand searched for his and connected.

“Please don't go.”

Eric wanted to free himself and keep on walking. She needed a lesson. No one ever taught her any lesson. He should go and leave her with this heartache. He swore silently, turned and embraced a trembling, sobbing Kira.

The rain fell more heavily now and he backed them both under the loading dock behind the restaurant where they crouched down and huddled together. Kira's hands habitually started moving over his torso. He knew how vulnerable and delicate this situation was. He knew how careful they must be. Old habits die hard. They had been through this before. They had barely managed to hang on. History could not repeat itself, history can't repeat itself...

Kira took his head in her hands and turned his eyes to her. She reassuringly nodded. “We're okay, Eric. We're okay.”

Sheltered by the shadows of the loading dock, old memories and familiar scents were rediscovered and reborn.

Walking unsteadily over the cobblestones, William made his way back home. He was beginning to feel better outside in the fresh air and was thankful for it. It was a still night and the boats in the harbor bobbled slowly. The moon shone at the masts and brought a serene glitter to the surface of the sea. The chilly breeze tugged a little at his jacket and he buttoned up and kept walking. He had left his friends at the bar earlier than usual, he didn't even know why. He was normally the last person to buy a round for everybody, the last person to leave and the least person to turn the lights off back home. Tonight he kept nodding off and feeling ill until he finally excused himself and left the place. Maybe he was getting too old for this s**t.

“William?”

He spun around and squinted his eyes, searching. A woman stepped off one of the boats nearby and walked up to him. “William Field...” she said and put her hands to her sides. The walk was cocky and she grinned at him.

“Do I know you?” William said. The woman reached him and patted him on his cheek.

“You don't,” she said, “not very much anyway. How have you been?” She bit her lip and studied him up and down and up again. “Have you been working out?”

William smiled weakly and shook his head. “So... If I don't know you and you still know my name...”

“We've met,” the woman interrupted, “Long ago, we met. We... really met for a while. Don't you remember?”

William thought for a moment, scanning his memories for the face before him. He watched her closely. That thick, black hair of hers felt familiar. Her big, lush curls rested on her shoulders. He wanted to reach out and run his fingers through the wave of darkness and he wanted to touch those rich, red lips. William looked her directly in her eyes and suddenly felt much, much colder. He grimaced and swallowed hard. Those were not contact lenses. Those were definitely not...

“Oh f**k.” he said and took a step back. “Sienna?”

Sienna applauded him and smiled. “Bravo. Oh come on, I'm not contagious or anything. Sit down!” she demanded and William sank down on a sandbox next to him. “Good boy.” she told him and stood in front of him with her fingers playing over his legs. “So lets try this once more. How have you been, Will?”

William shrugged. “Okay... You?”

“Good, good,” she responded and sat down next to him. “Is your brother okay?”

William nodded and Sienna laughed. “That was one hell of a night. I was elsewhere but news travel fast.”

“Yeah? Eric never told me what happened with Kira,” William said and she turned to him in surprise.

“You don't know what went down? Seriously?? I'm not exactly their favorite girl, but even I found out. Jesus Christ, Will...”

“He said it was too difficult to explain and... I... He was so torn up about it so I never really...” He stood up. “Why am I still talking to you? Last time I met you you tried to rip my f*****g heart out!”

Sienna gently grabbed him by the arm and dragged him closer. She stood up and put her arms around him. “If you would have let me,” she said, “I would have given you the best ride you could ever have imagined...”

“I don't care!” William yelled and pushed her back. “I'm sick and tired of people never telling me the whole truth in this weird crazy world of yours. I'm involved... was involved too, you know!”

Sienna sat down and sighed. “Is little Eric stealing your spotlight?”

William stared angrily at her. “What??”

“The big brother who had everything... The girls, the career, the dream home and the money. It sucks to see your brother get something much more important, doesn't it? He got to be a hero. And he found love. Two things you haven't achieved. Two things you haven't got.”

William had started breathing heavily and looked insanely mad now. He pointed accusingly at her. “You... don't... f*****g know me, girl,” he hissed. Sienna sighed deeply.

“And still I'm perfectly right,” she said.

Parts of William wanted to drag her to her feet and punch her right in the face. He wanted to scream at her how wrong she was. But he couldn't. The anger slowly subsided and was gone as fast as it had arrived. He sat down next to her.

“I just... want to not be kept in the dark. I don't understand why, after all we've been through together, he couldn't trust me in the end. Just because the story was over for him, it doesn't mean I've got all the pages. If I didn't know a thing, then I would understand better. But I actually know a lot. I know almost everything, except for what happened the night he apparently saved Kira.” He sighed. “He's been in the front seat for a long time now. Yes. I guess my ego is large enough to have become pretty bruised over the last few years by him.”

Sienna took his hand. “He cares about you. Your brother loves you. Just leave it, it's not worth the fight. And about that night? It was just silly romance in the air. You'd puke if I told you.”

William laughed a little. “You're funny...” He glanced in her direction. “I have to tell you, Sienna, not that I honestly really know you... but you seem so nice... so kind. You push all my buttons, making me frustrated as hell, but you're not the evil person I thought you were. I think... I really like you.”

Sienna reached out and kissed him. “You too,” she said and leaned on his shoulder. William squeezed her hand a little harder and butterflies fluttered in his stomach. What an amazing feeling...

Someone coughed violently somewhere close and William raised his head. “Did you hear that?” he said and had a look around. Sienna sighed happily. “All I hear is your heart beating really fast,” she mused. William looked down at her again and felt the butterflies play catch inside of him. He brushed the hair from her face and leaned forward to kiss her.

Another cough made him stand up and watch his surroundings more carefully.

On the boat Sienna had walked off, a man now stood, holding on to the railing. William was on his way to rush over when Sienna took his hand. She spun him around and looked him in the eyes with a grim expression on her face. “Sit down.” She pushed him down and walked off to the man on the boat. While walking, she turned around to smile a cute little smile at him. “You know this game already, so don't act surprised over what happens next,” she said and turned again. William saw her reach the boat, step on it again and walk up to the man. He heard him spit excuses in her face, then beg for his life. The last thing he heard, as of a last resort, was the man praying hysterically.

Then William heard his neck snap and his body fall to the floor. He inhaled and turned his eyes to Sienna, but she was too far away to have killed him. Still he knew she had. She didn't need her hands to kill. William held his breath while watching the gray shimmer float above him, flicker and die out. Sienna pushed the man overboard and watched the body sink for a while. As she left the boat and headed back to William, he panicked inside. “Leave...” he muttered to himself, “F*****g run...”

Sienna stood in front of him again. She had his blood on her. The stains suggested he had coughed right in her face. With a blood stained lower lip, Sienna smiled widely. “Where to now?” she said and grabbed him by the hand.

William turned and threw up all over the sandbox. “Oh...” he heard her saying and pat him on the back. “There there. Welcome back to our world, beautiful.”

Kira sat with her feet dangling over the edge of the loading dock, staring into the distance.

“Do you feel any better?” she ventured and dared a glance in Eric's direction. He sat with his back against the wall with a pale face and odd expression on his face. “Can I get you something?” Eric shook his head and swallowed hard.

“I don't get it,” he said and swallowed again, “It must have been something I ate earlier.”

Kira nodded. “Probably,” she lied.

She knew what it was, she had seen it and denied it a long time now but here it was, staring her right in her face. She closed her eyes and blocked it out. “I'll get Laken.” she said firmly and got to her feet before Eric had the time to complain. A moment later, Laken came rushing into the back alley. Kira didn't join her.

“Eric, how are you feeling?” Laken said and crouched down in front of him, putting her hand on his forehead. “You're burning up, sweetheart, you need to go to the hospital.”

Eric sighed. “Where did she go?”

Laken looked at him. “Oh Eric, she went home. She felt guilty. You know how she is. Now you need to...”

“What's wrong with me?” Eric interrupted. “I had such a perfect chance to go back to something beautiful with Kira and I completely ruined it, making her feel like s**t again!”

“Uh, with all do respect, I think you're the one feeling like s**t...”

“What is this f*****g curse,” he continued, paying her no attention, “that never let me fully love her? I mean, it must be a curse. Is it? You always know things, Laken. Is it a curse? Have I done something bad that makes me unworthy of her? Is that it? I don't get it!”

“Eric, I just think that love is a bit tricky and needs to grow in peace.” Laken said and smiled. Eric laughed dryly.

“Like you know the first thing about it...”

Laken shut her mouth and looked at him in surprise. “... What?”

“Never mind...”

She stood up. “Eric, I have a relationship. I do know how it works. It's not always perfect, but when you really love each other, it's worth the troubles and the heartaches because the end result is beautiful.” she said and looked rather happy with her own words until Eric shook his head and stared at her in disbelief.

“After all this knowledge I have felt flowing from you... Can it be that you are really that naive when it comes to love?”

Laken fell silent. She tried to speak but found no words. She was not used to not having answers to everything. This bothered her, it really did. What exactly was he implying? What exactly did he know?

“Guys? Hello, are you there?”

She spun around and saw the rest of the gang standing at the corner of the restaurant. “We're heading home, are you coming?” she heard Talon say.

“I... We...” she started but the words got stuck. Eric grabbed a hold of her and painfully rose.

“I'm not feeling all that well. Can someone call a cab for me from here to the hospital? Nothing to worry about, I just need to make sure I'm okay. Okay?”

“Sure” Gabriel said and picked his phone up, dialing a number, He looked at Laken for a while. “Are you alright?”he said with his phone to his ear. Laken swallowed and glanced at Eric. He stared back and shrugged. “Don't ask me, ask yourself...” he said. She turned back to Gabriel, but before answering, he turned away from her to get a taxi for Eric. While the others gathered around him to see how he was, Laken stood frozen to the ground, puzzled for the first time in a very, very long time. Eric was merely a man, but he had just overpowered her completely.

When the taxi arrived, Eric left together with Yumiko and Talon who wanted to show some moral support and tagged along to the hospital. Watching them go, Laken felt Gabriel put his arm around her and cold shivers traveled down her spine. She looked at him and studied those dark gloomy eyes of his. Eric had questioned her knowledge of love. That could only mean one thing... couldn't it? That could only mean Gabriel. With a terrified open heart she took him hand, watched him more closely than ever before and breathed in. “I love you, Gabriel,” she said and felt her heart pause in fear. A moment later it sank and died. There was no response. He pretended he hadn't heard, but she knew he had. She pushed the tears back, let go of his hand and took a step back. Gabriel didn't search for her hand. In fact, he put it in his pocket and started walking. “Come on, let's go home” he said. Laken leaned against the wall, speechless and breathless.

“No,” she whispered. Gabriel turned.

“Come again?”

“No... I'm going to stay here for a while...”

David pushed past Gabriel and looked at her in confusion. “You'll... stay behind the restaurant?” he said and she nodded.

“I'm okay,” she said and gave them both a faint smile, “I just think I had too much to drink or something. Go right ahead, I can take care of myself.”

She saw both of them look at her in disbelief and she smiled wider. “Honestly you guys, I'm fine. Go home! Gabe, I'll be there once I've walked it off.”

Gabriel kissed her on her forehead. “I'll be waiting.” he said and walked off. David gave her a quick hug and rushed after. She waited for the footsteps to die out before sinking to the ground and letting the tears out. She tried to tell herself that she was overreacting, but she knew all too well she wasn't. The signs had been there such a long time now. The only one fighting for them were her. The only one giving a damn was Laken. Eric had seen it and now she felt stupid. She had been such a force through Eric's whole adventure. She had seen love overcome all obstacles. She had believed that love would conquer, and it had conquered... Just not for her.

She slept at a friend's house that night. Gabriel didn't call to ask her where she was. Of course he didn't...

Of course not.

Eric stared into nothingness. The waiting room was crowded but he didn't really notice anyone around him. An old man sat to his right sneezing in his direction but Eric didn't care. He was too tired and too drained to pay anyone any attention at all. Talon and Yumiko had left as soon as he had went into the examining room, and he was happy to be alone. His phone rang and he sighed. “Hello? David... No, I'm fine, I'm just tired and a bit... Okay, ask away. Come over? Ah... I'm still at the hospital, the doctor is... well, he's consulting a few others, because... Well, it's kind of big, can this... thing you need to ask me wait a day or two perhaps? Bigger, huh... Alright... I'll meet you at the entrance in half an hour.” He hung up and sighed. Twenty minutes later the phone rang again and he picked it up.

“Please, I just want to be left alone for a while!” he said irritably.

“... I can call back another time” he heard Kira whisper.

“No! No, no, I thought you were... someone else. How are you? You left kind of sudden yesterday.”

“Yeah, I know. It just felt so frighteningly like old times, you know? We connect, you get hurt...”

Eric laughed. “It's not you, Kira,” he said, “it's just bad luck.” without realizing it, he had crossed his fingers while uttering his words.

“Eric?” Kira said, “How are you feeling?”

Eric thought long and hard. He smiled. “I'm better now” he lied with his fingers still crossed. He heard her sighing.

“Eric... I miss you.”

He smiled. “Me too. I'll see you soon.”

He hung up and got to his feet. Approaching the entrance, he saw David already there, impatiently pacing back and forth. The doors slide open and he stepped out to meet him. “Oh good, you're here...” he mumbled and they sat down on a bench nearby. David stared at Eric who stared at the traffic. He gathered his courage for a while before speaking.

“Look, you know I still want Kira...” David started but was cut off.

“Maybe it's because I'm only human as you guys always so gracefully like to put it,” Eric stated sarcastically, “but to me it's pretty obvious that she is not head over heels about you. With that said, she's not head over heels in love with me either. Maybe we shoukd just face the facts and go fish somewhere else, huh?”

David stood up.”It's Kira you're talking about!” he hissed. Eric stood up and faced him.

“I'm well aware of who we're...”

“You need to back off for good and understand what's in her best interest, and that's me. Everyone knows that she is much better off with me than with you. I can give her so much more than you. Let's be a man about this, Eric. Leave with dignity alright?” he said and crossed his arms over his chest. Eric laughed and shook his head.

“I don't have time for this...” he mumbled, “I have much more important things to deal with than to stand here with you feeding me this crap. Listen. Kira is a big girl. You're a big boy. Whatever she decides is her decision and both you and me will respect it. Is that clear? If she rejects you...” Eric crossed his arms, clearly mocking David, “Then be a maaan about it.”

David gritted his teeth, clenched his fist and hit Eric across the face. Eric launched out and hit back. One second later, he was pushed up against the wall with a furious David right in front of his face.

“This is serious!” he yelled. “This is dead serious to me! Now that you're okay again, you won't listen to other people, Eric? Is that it?!”

Eric pushed David off of him. “I'm not okay!”

David stared at him angrily. “Really? So what's wrong this time, mister always-deep-and-troubled??”

“I'm dying!”

David blinked.

“What did you say?”

Eric shook his head. “Forget it.” He started walking towards the entrance again. He turned around and put his hands out in the air. “I'm sorry for being blunt. I'm sorry for not sugarcoating your troublesome journey with the girl who cannot choose, but today... Today I'm actually quite busy dying.” He walked through the sliding doors and back into the hospital. David couldn't move. He watched him walk up the stairs and disappear and still, he couldn't move. Kira had been on his mind the whole day, consuming his every thought. Now his mind was elsewhere. He should be happy. The nagging anxiety over what Kira was truly feeling deep inside had vanished. The problem, though, was what Eric had just left him with.

“I just don't get it. How can he not love me? What did I do to deserve such a loveless man?” Laken walked through the hotel lobby towards the elevators next to the staircase. Her yellow heels clicker-clackered over the marble floor and in her beautiful black dress and diamond jewelry she caught the eye of every man on the ground floor. “Hold on one second Yumi,” she said and put her phone down a little. She looked at the man by the elevator and nodded at him. “Hello, how are you doing? Floor fifteen, please” she said, got inside and put her phone back to her ear. As the doors closed, her conversation continued. “I've been nothing but good to him and I'm a very nice girl! I've given him everything and how dare he take it all and leave me with a knot in my stomach?”

Yumiko sighed at the other end of the line. “Don't get this upset, it's not worth it you know,” she tried, but Laken laughed harshly.

“How can I not think about it? I must have done something wrong or... something! I mean, have I done something stupid? Do you know if I've done him wrong?”

“No Laken,” Yumiko said, “you've done nothing wrong at all. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be...”

The elevator doors swung open and Laken stepped out into a very expensive looking hallway. She determinedly started walking towards door 267. “I just wish he would tell me what I'm doing wrong, how I can become better...”

Yumiko interrupted her. “Oh honey, you're perfect, it's him who can't focus, who can't stay faithful and who can't see what a wonderful, sexy, intelligent...”

“What did you say...?”

Yumiko paused and thought back. “... I said that it's him, not you... That you are...”

“No, no, no,” Laken interrupted and stopped. “You said something about faithfulness.” She could hear Yumiko inhale at the other end of the line and raised her eyebrows. “What is it... that you know, Yumiko?”

There was a long silence before Yumiko finally spoke. “Hey, you know... Take it with your man. Not with me. Your fight is not with me. I have to go.”

Yumiko hung up and left Laken alone and empty. She stared at the floor for a while with her phone still to her ear. Eventually she slowly lowered it and put it back into her purse. Numb and cold she poised herself and took the last few steps to door 267. She knocked and took a deep breath. The door opened, she exhaled and smiled. “Hello there governor, nice to meet you.”

A tall, old man with brown curly hair smiled back at her, grabbed her gently by her arm and pulled her inside. He closed the door behind them and handed her a glass of champagne. “You're most welcome, my darling,” he said and raised his glass. “To an evening none of us will ever forget. Cheers.”

Laken raised her glass a little and nodded gracefully. “I couldn't agree more,” she said and had a quick little sip. She studied the small bubbles and drifted off for a second. There was such a strong element of irony in the air here. Here she stood with a man about to cheat on his wife before dying in a heart attack. She was there to help him cross over and feel at ease with letting go of his precious life. This man, this powerful man had a wife and two daughters. This man was a role-model for many other men. This man had only a short while left to live and instead of spending it with his wonderful family, he chose to dishonor them by kissing a stranger, a stranger like Laken. To add to the irony of this bizarre situation, Laken had just found out how unfaithfulness feels first hand. Let's just say that champagne did not taste as sweet as it could have.

“Please call me Philip, I'm no governor tonight.” she heard him saying and she swallowed hard. What was she doing here? Why had she entered so early? This was not her plan at all. She had told herself she was going to wait peacefully in the corridor for one hour and then enter his room, telling him traffic had been awful and this was why she was late for their little rendezvous. One kiss of death and he would pass over to the other side. She heaved the champagne and asked for a re-fill. She heaved another glass and heard the governor laugh. “My God I thought it would take a while to get you in the mood, but the way you drink your champagne...”

“I just want to make sure I go through with this, that's all.” Laken surprised herself with these words. Go through with what exactly? What was she doing?

“Well to be brutally honest, my girl, it is your job to, as you say, 'go through with it',” the governor told her and poured more champagne into her glass, “but if you're fresh I can understand that you might feel nervous. Don't worry, I know I'm good at this. I won't hurt you, I never hurt my girls.”

Laken felt her stomach turn but for some odd reason, she dismissed the warning signs her body was giving her and sipped some more champagne. His hand touched her chin and she flinched. Quickly after, she straightened up and put her own hand out, grabbed his and walked them both towards the bed. Her phone rang and she glanced down her purse.

Gabriel. She held her breath and glanced at the governor who took a seat at the foot of the bed while removing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt a little. He waved at her. “Go ahead and answer, I won't go anywhere.”

She looked at her phone. She looked at the governor. Then she sighed, dropped the purse on the floor and went over to the governor. She stood in front of him, looking down at him intensely. His hands caressed her skin and he smiled. She didn't. She tilted her head a little. “Say...” she started, “why does man cheat?” His hands stopped moving for a split second. Then he smirked and kept caressing her.

“Why does man cheat?” he said calmly.

“Yes.”

“You're a little naive one, aren't you?” he said and dragged her down next to him. He kissed her hand, arm and neck. Laken was too numb to listen to her senses screaming for her to get away. She just sat there, wanting answers. He looked at her and pulled her closer. “Man cheat,” he said and pulled the zipper on Laken's dress down slowly, “because he can.” The governor sensed all the small flinches and hesitations in the girl next to him but chose to pay her insecurity no attention. He freed one of her arms from the dress and glanced at the silk underneath. He smiled and unbuttoned his shirt all the way down to his last button. “Man cheat,” he said and took it off, “because women so easily let them.”

Laken closed her eyes to stop her tears. “We do, don't we?” she whispered.

“Yes, you do...” the governor responded.

“So if we find out that you cheat, what are we to do? What did we do? Where did we go wrong? Why wasn't I enough?”

“Maybe you're not adventurous enough. Maybe your man is not satisfied enough. Or maybe he is just an idiot who doesn't love you.”

One tear trickled down Laken's face and the man stopped for a second. “Why do you ask me this?” he said.

Laken let another tear fall. “I just want to understand why I'm not enough after being so perfect.”

The phone rang again and Laken stood up. She walked over to the purse, picked the phone up and answered. “Yes...”

“Where are you?” she heard Gabriel say.

“I'm at work.”

“Me too. Where are you at? Do you want to meet later on?”

Laken put her dress back on a little and wiped her tears. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well,” Gabriel said and sighed, “I think we need to talk.”

Laken took a few steps further away from the bed. “About?” she said and hoped for the best. She was ready for the truth. She was ready to deal with it. She was just happy he wanted to talk. Where it would lead and how they would deal with it could come later. As long as he was honest with her from now on, everything would be fine. Hurtful, but fine. As long as he...

“I need to talk to you about Eric.”

Her heart sank and her soul was painted completely black. “Eric? You want to talk to me about... Eric?” she said and felt her other hand grasp the purse and tighten her grip. “Really? Nothing else on your mind, my dear?” she said through more and more gritted teeth.

“No, not really. Just a few things about Eric I am kind of wondering about and you usually know things quite well.”

Laken bit her lip and tried to remain calm. “... Sure.”

“Good, good.”

The conversation fell silent for a while, then Gabriel spoke again. “Oh, by the way, I won't be home tonight. Sienna felt alone and I thought I could have a drink or two with her after finishing up here, “he said and Laken opened her eyes again, staring angrily in front of her. “We're just... going to drink some beers and catch up a little, nothing to worry about,” Gabriel concluded.

“Why would I be worried?” Laken said deliberately. There was a short pause and she could visualize Gabriel on the other line cursing under his breath and searching for a good enough answer. He cleared his throat.

“No, no,” he said, “you don't have to. Of course. Ah... Love you.”

Laken turned and watched the governor sip more champagne at the end of the bed. Her heart felt cold, angry and filthy. Gabriel had just emptied a large bucket of tar right over it. This was his fault. Why she was already in here, where all of this would lead, was his fault only. She breathed in and let out a deep sigh. “Oh, Gabriel...” she said. “I feel like a fool for trusting you. But this won't go unpunished. Because when you eventually learn how to love... Love will be long gone and you will spend eternity longing for it. It is a lie that you lost it. You never had it to begin with. What happens next is on you.”

“What are you talking about..?” she heard Gabriel whisper. At the same time the governor looked in her direction.

“I've only got an hour, you know” he said and pulled the sheets to the side while unbuttoning his pants. Gabriel paused on the phone. “Who was that?” he said.

Laken sighed. “That was a man who only has one hour. That was a man who...”

“Laken what the f**k are you doing in his room already? I know where you are now, I remember you telling me about this dreadful man who cheats on his wife with hookers at the Four Seasons Hotel right in the middle of town and how you hate what he's doing, how you hate cheating b******s... So what the f**k are you doing in his room long before his last f*****g breath..?” he said and sounded seriously alarmed. Laken felt a sly smile spread across her face.

“What I'm doing here?” she said.

“Yes, what the hell are you...”

“I'm trying to feel,” she cut him off, “what it's like... being Sienna. Being Sienna in front of you.”

Gabriel fell completely silent. Laken sniffed. “I didn't understand it straight away when I entered this room, but now you made the picture quite clear. This, Gabriel, this is on you.”

She hung up, put the phone on mute and walked over to the bed. The governor had changed into a morning robe and held out another glass of champagne. “Rough night?” he said and watched her empty it. She laughed a little.

“Let's just say,” she started while stepping out of her shoes, “that I have come to terms with something this very evening.”

“Oh? What might that be?”

Laken positioned herself in front of the man on the bed. “I've come to realize... that hate is just as strong as love.” she said and let her dress drop. The governor smiled and touched her neglige a little. Then he dragged her down on the bed and kissed her forehead lightly.

“I don't care what's eating you, sweetheart,” he said and let his hand search under the silk. Laken hesitated for a second, but the man calmly put the glass to her lips again. “I don't care,” he continued, “as long as you satisfy me tonight.”

Laken wanted to leave. She didn't recognize herself. She turned her head away from him and watched the clock on the wall, counting down. Then she saw her phone lighting up. Gabriel was calling her again and the tar blackened her heart again. “F**k it...” she whispered and turned back. She put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him. It didn't feel bad. It felt powerful. She kissed him again. The world started spinning and she felt slightly odd. She tried to count the glasses of champagne she had had but gave up after just a few seconds of counting. She giggled a little and let go of everything she held for pure and true. The governor sighed happily and positioned himself on top of her while eager hands searched under the silk again. “Thank God you stopped dilly-dallying and came to your senses. I've only got an hour, you know!” he said and pulled her trousers down. Laken bit her lip and crossed her legs a little. Her heart raced and she didn't know what to make of the situation. One quick look at the blinking phone in the purse on the floor was all it took to loosen up again. She exhaled, smiled an evil smile and said: “Oh sweetheart, you've got much less than that.”

22 minutes later, Laken answered her phone.

“What the f**k did he do to you?!”

Laken picked her underwear up and put them on.

“Did he rape you? Did he?”

She turned around and watched the governor where he rested on the bed.

“I'm on my way, alright?”

“No.”

“You don't have a choice, Laken. I'm coming.”

“That's really not necessary.”

“Yeah, it is! You're hurt!”

“Yes, but not by him.”

“... Laken, come on...”

“Whatever he did to me tonight,” Laken said in a calm, relaxed voice,” can never be more filthy than what you have put me through. So, who has really raped me? Him? … Or you?”

“... Baby, what did you do? What did he...”

Laken hung up, put the phone back in her purse and sat down on the edge of the bed. She watched the body of the governor and ran her fingers through his hair. “To be honest,” she said to him even though he had left already, “I'm alright. At least you made me understand.”

She stood up, corrected her dress a little, put her heels back on and walked out.

Kira laid on the park bench and watched the clouds drift by. It was beginning to get darker but the sky was still full of shapes and patterns to stare at. Her heart was pounding harder and harder for every second that went by. At 4.30pm David would arrive, sit down next to her and scold her for making the wrong choice in choosing Eric over him. He would express his anger and frustration in a battle of words she knew all too well he always had won and always would win. He had a way with arguments that could render any politician speechless. And she was merely Kira. And she always lost their battles. She was also saddened by the thought of actually having to choose. She had been dreading this for a long time, going back and forth between two wonderful men. She wanted to be selfish and have them both but she knew very well that life didn't work that way. Now she had chosen and now the losing team, now David had called for a meeting, a last good-bye and a chance to yell out his frustration. Of course Kira's heart pounded like crazy. She was afraid to let go and afraid to stand up for herself. This was a special man. This was...

“There you are.”

Kira jumped up at the sound of David's voice and watched him slowly take a seat. She straightened up next to him with her hand over her chest, trying desperately to steady the beat. She swallowed hard. David looked at some kids throwing a frisbee to each other nearby. “I had to look pretty hard to find you.”

“Yeah I was laying down to watch the clouds, it kinda...”

“It calms you down, I know.” David said and squinted. There was a brief moment of silence and hesitation in the air. “You don't have to be nervous, Kira.”

Kira sighed deeply. “Oh David... I want you to know that it wasn't easy for me at all. I know it must feel like I've been using you since I first was with you, then abandoned you for Eric and then finally it was you and me and then Eric came back and I ended up with him...” She shook her head and looked at David. “I never wanted to hurt you, David. I love you too much.”

“I love you too,” David said, “but that's not why I'm here.”

Kira blinked. “What?”

“That's not why I'm here.” David concluded and kept staring at the frisbee-match before him. “I'm here to say that I'm backing off. I know where you heart is and it's with Eric more than it's with me. I'm fine with it. I made my peace with the fact that you desperately need to be with him right now. You need to find out for once in your life what it really is to be with Eric.”

Kira's heart wasn't pounding like crazy anymore. Her heart had stopped instead. “You... want me to be with Eric?” she asked. “With Eric...? Are you sure?” David nodded. “But... How can you want me to be with... I mean... what?”

David smiled a little, still looking straight a head and not at Kira. “I've come to realize,” he said, “that Eric needs you now more than ever. Of course I'm not thrilled about this... but everything is falling apart. If you want happiness I want you to have it. I can't argue with this situation. Life... is too short apparently. So...” David stood up. “I wish you all the best and please take care of whatever time you've got with each other...”

David put his hands in his pockets and started walking. Kira stood up and grabbed his arm. “You can't... just leave!” she said with confusion in her eyes. David turned around to her.

“I have to.” he said, hugged her and kept walking.

Kira sat down on the bench again, completely deflated. As David disappeared in the crowd, she lay down to watch the clouds once more. “Life is too short...” she mumbled to herself. “Life... is too... short?”

William slowly walked up the stairs in Eric's apartment building. For each step he hesitated and paused, questioning his decision to visit his brother and get all of his resentment out. Was it worth the fight, was it worth the drama? Would his brother understand or would he start the obvious debate in which he would say that William had been in the spotlight for too long and could therefore not share it without getting jealous? William put one foot in front of the other, slowly working his way up. He had to do this. At the end of the day, they were brothers and really good friends. He pushed the door open to Eric's floor, turned the corner and stopped.

A young asian girl sat in the hallway, sobbing heavily. William looked around and realized they were alone. He harrumphed and the girl looked up. “Uhm... Hi there.” he said and waved awkwardly. The girl blinked at few times and then just buried her head in her hands again. William walked up to her and hunched down. “Are you alright? Are you... hurt or something?” The girl shook her head. “Do you live here?” The girl shook her head again. “Are you visiting someone?” She nodded. “Who?” She looked up at him.

“Your brother.“ William raised his brows. The girl sighed. “... or Kira actually. I thought she might be with him... but no one is home!” she said and completely broke down again. William was confused.

“Eric?” he said. The girl sobbed so heavily now that he was a bit afraid she wasn't getting enough air. He reached out and hugged her. “Please, calm down... What's your name?” he said.

“Yumi... ko.” she whispered between her sobbing and leaned against him, burying her head in his jacket.

“... Okay...” William mumbled.

“It's very nice to finally meet you, William,” she said and sobbed some more, “I've heard a lot about you.”

“Ah... okay,” William said. He held her at an arms length and started wiping her tears off, “but I still have no idea who you are.”

“Oh, I'm one of them bla bla bla, you know.” Yumiko said and rolled her eyes.

“Right. Why did I even ask...”

“But I need Kira! Do you know where she is? Where is Eric? Where are they??” she said upset and unstrung. William shrugged.

“I wanted to have a little chat with Eric as well to tell you the truth. I tried calling him but there was no answer, so... here I am.”

Yumiko calmed down and leaned against the wall. “I've done something bad. “she said and looked at him sadly. William tilted his head a little to the side.

“What?”

“I've let a secret out, a horrible, horrible secret. It ruined everything.” William raised his eyebrows again.

“Yeah? What did it ruin?” he asked.

“Friendships and lovers.”

“It must have been a big, big secret.” Yumiko nodded. “Want to tell me?”

“I... “ Yumiko hesitated a little. “... I kept a secret about infidelity and then I let it slip my tongue and come out to the wrong person. I revealed the secret about his unfaithfulness to her and I'm afraid she got so upset that she did something really stupid. I've tried calling her ever since but she hasn't answered. I ruined it all!”

William looked at her. “Has... Kira been betrayed?” Yumiko shook her head.

“No, no, no not her, that not why I'm here... I just... I need Kira! She always knows what to say and what to do when I'm sad or scared. I need someone to tell me I haven't hurt someone... I miss Kira, I need her.”

Silence fell for a while. Eventually William spoke.

“Why is Eric so special to you all?” he said and Yumiko looked at him.

“Eric?”

“Yeah...”

“He saved Kira.”

“He seemed special to you long before that day, though.”

“Well...” Yumiko thought for a while. “I think Laken sensed he was special. At least she saw him as someone she could fall for and in the end be rescued by. You know, love will overcome?”

William nodded but then a crease appeared between his brows. “Why didn't Laken see the potential in me? Why Eric and not me? I was there first... I should have been the choice.” he said. Yumiko smiled a little and nudged him in the side.

“Did she create butterflies in your stomach? Did she make you smile from ear to ear? Were you completely smitten by her?” she asked.

“Well... no... She was cool, sexy... hot, but... No butterflies...”

“And you ask me why Laken thought that Eric was a better choice?”

“You're a clever one, aren't you?” William said and nudged back. Yumiko smiled shyly and looked at her watch.

“I don't think either of them are coming... “ she said and sighed.

“You know what?” William said and took her hand reassuringly. “Whatever secret you let out... If it was unfaithfulness involved, then you did the right thing. What kind of love is worth surviving infidelity? Is it actually love if one part cheats? You cleared the air for them when they couldn't themselves. Maybe it hurt but at the end of the line, that pain will work as a catharsis. Purity is always the answer. Don't worry. You did the right thing and you don't need Kira to tell you that.”

Yumiko looked him in the eyes while relief slowly painted her face in colors again.

“Don't worry,” she said, “even though Eric has been playing a major part lately... You're quite amazing too.” She stroke him on his arm and smiled wider. “... And you don't need Eric to tell you that.”

Sienna sat at the edge of the bed and looked down at the woman resting there. Her black hair surrounded her head like a halo, while her long dark dress was torn and threaded. Her lips were neatly painted red, her eyes vacant.

Sienna had been late. The woman had suffered longer than necessary. What could have ended with dignity had ended in chaos with burning lungs and blood. Had she been in time she could have easily seen to that right after the overdose was taken, her life would have ended, but Sienna had been late. At first you don't succeed, the woman must have thought in all her misery, try again and again and again. She had heaved shot after shot of deadly cocktails of whatever she could find in her little shop of gow and curatives, desperately trying to doze deeply off. She had started in the bathroom and worked her way over to the bed. On her way she got stuck in the door handle of the bathroom and while trying to untangle herself, the substance started doing its magic. She fell to the floor and started shivering, shaking uncontrollably.

Sienna entered the room just in time for the vomiting of blood to kick in. She had cursed loudly, carried the woman to the bed and finally let her die. It could have been clean but Sienna was late.

She wiped her arms and hands clean and sighed. “God damn it... I'm sorry.” she whispered while wondering if this had been a suicide or if the woman had had severe sleeping problems and just desperately needed to sleep. Either way, Sienna had not given her the most graceful of farewells. “I hope you're...” she started but was cut off by her cellphone. She answered. “Yes, what?!”

It was Gabriel. He wanted to meet. No, he demanded to. Sienna hung up and chewed on her lip. She had been late. She was never late. “All is falling apart,” she mumbled,” I can feel it, it's in the air. Something... different is going on.”

The elevator doors opened and William and Yumiko stepped out. “Oh my god I can't believe you did that! Wow, I would never have dared to!” Yumiko said and smiled widely. “What if the boat flips over and you are suddenly under water and you can't breathe??”

William laughed. “Well if that ever happens, I want you to be the one to...”

“Schh don't say that, it's not funny...” Yumiko said and looked around. William hurriedly kissed her on the cheek.

“It's a little funny.” he said. Yumiko blushed.

“I didn't know you two knew each other that well...”

They both looked up and found Eric walking towards them. William walked up to him and gave him a hug. A surprised Eric stood still for a while but then awkwardly hugged his brother back. “What... is this for?” he said.

William let go and smiled. “I just love you, man. You need to know that.” he said.

“I know,” Eric answered, “we're brothers. I love you too, but why...”

“No particular reason...” William said and Yumiko giggled behind him. She took a step closer.

“Where's Kira?”

“On her way, she should be here any minute now.” he said and took out an envelope from his jacket pocket.

“What's that you got there, Eric?” William said and glanced at it. Eric nervously fiddled it about a little in his hands.

“It's a gift...”

William smiled. “I wonder to whom...”

There was a creak from the entrance and Kira entered the building. She stopped for a second and then smiled. “What a welcome committee!” she said and smiled a little. Yumiko walked over to hug her, then told them she had to get going.

“Maybe I'll see you around, Will..?” she said and glanced at him. He gave her a warm smile and nodded. She blushed a little, turned around and walked out. Kira looked curiously at William who just shook his head in response.

“I'm glad you came, Kira.” Eric said and looked at her. “How are you? You look a little pale.”

She shrugged. “Do I? I don't know... I'm fine anyway. How are you?” Her eyes searched his for the truth, for some kind of answer to what David had led on, but Eric just looked nervous and excited. He handed the envelope over. Kira took it and opened up. She produced two tickets and read what they said out loud. “Eidolon cruises hereby invites Eric Field and Kira...” She looked up and smiled. “What is this?” she said. Eric held is arms out wide.

“We are taking a vacation, you and I. We are going on a cruise.”

William sniggered behind him. “Eric, you star-gazer...” he said and Eric pushed him back.

“Shut up...” he said and kept looking at Kira who stared at the tickets with a big smile on her face.

“Why are you doing this?” she said. “What's in it for you?”

William sighed. “Oh come on, haven't you ever received a gift? And what's in it for Eric is you! Can't you see the beauty of that?”

Kira's cheeks went pink. “But I haven't really done anything to deserve a gift.”

Eric smiled. “I don't care, because I love you.” Now Kira's cheeks went red.

“... I love you too.” she whispered.

William put his hand on Eric's shoulder. “And that is my cue to say goodbye and good luck!” he said and walked away with a giant smile on his face. Eric took Kira's hand and kissed it. “This is something I have to do. Something I have... “ he hesitated, “dreamed of doing.”

A tear trickled down Kira's right cheek and Eric wiped it away. “Please tell me that drop was filled with positivity... We have had too much of the other kind.”

“Yes...” Kira answered and looked up and let each and every tear free to fall however they pleased. “Yes, these tears doesn't hurt at all.”

The room was dark, clean and had a soft scent of some sort of fragrance. Sienna smiled slyly to herself and sat down in the gray armchair in the middle of the room. She crossed her legs and looked at the charred coal in the doused fireplace. “I know you're here, Gabriel,” she said, “I can smell you from a mile away.”

A cold hand wrapped itself around her neck and she stiffened for a second before relaxing again. “What do you want, darling?” she said and reached back to caress his arm. The hold on her neck hardened. “Gabriel, that hurt...”

She jerked loose and stood up, facing him. “What's up?” she said while trying to read his blank stare. “What have I done to deserve such a... warm welcome?”

“What's the matter, Sienna? I thought you enjoyed a good struggle.” he answered. Sienna bit her lip and moved closer.

“I do...” she whispered and put her hand on his waist. “What do you have in mind?”

Gabriel started walking towards her and she slowly backed until she felt the wall behind her and stopped. Gabriel leaned forward and put his lips to her ear. “What do you want from me?” he whispered and let one finger run down her body from her throat, over her chest and downwards. Sienna put her soft, moist lips to his ear and whispered back.

“That depends on what you're willing to give, my friend.”

Gabriel put his hands on her shoulders, dragged her off the wall and then pushed her violently against it again. Sienna screamed out her agony and fell to the floor. Gabriel hunched down before her to start his yelling but she hit him across his face and got to her feet again. Any sane girl would have run for the front door. Sienna wasn't sane.

“You a*****e...” she mumbled and kicked him in the back. Gabriel spun around, seized her by the arm and dragged her down to his level.

“If it's all falling apart,” he yelled at her, “I'm taking you with me as I go!” He pushed her against the wall again where she sat and reached for her throat with his free hand. Sienna didn't fight him. She only looked at him with a sad pitying expression on her face.

“Good God, Gabriel... You act so human.”

Gabriel completely stopped. After a while, his outstretched hand started shaking. He lowered it, let go of Sienna and lay down on his back on the cold floor. Sienna massaged her sore body and glanced in his direction. No one spoke for a long while. Sienna was the one to finally break the silence.

“I reckon she knows, then?” she said and he nodded. “And I assume you want it all to be my fault? Kind of easier that way, huh?” Gabriel didn't answer and she sighed. “If I would have known about all this drama I would have found myself another guy for crying out loud. I promise you, you're not worth the trouble. I'm easily letting go.”

Gabriel snorted. “Why did you even start something with a man who...”

“... has a relationship?” Sienna interrupted and Gabriel looked at her. She shook her head disapprovingly. “You don't have a relationship, Gabriel. Laken maybe thought she had one, though, but it was just in her head all along, and she'd better wake up now. She's a sweet girl and she needs someone real, not you.” Sienna watched him press his jaw muscles together to keep his calm. She continued. “You want to blame this on me. You want to appear weak and manipulated so that Laken understands that I am the sinner and not you, but just because I have my own thoughts and morals, it doesn't make me a sinner. A man who truly loves her woman would never even give me a second glance let alone let his lips meet mine. As far as I see it, I was a f*****g eye opener more than anything. It was all falling apart. All I did was to give the crumbling tower a gentle push. Blame me all you want, Gabriel. I know I'm not an angel, but turn that anger towards yourself as well... and see how much your brute force can really hurt.” She got up and put her messy hair up in a ponytail. “Now that your heart is aching, maybe you can finally begin to understand what it is to really live.” she said and walked out.

It's funny how things turn out. The sinner has the answers and the savior is running out of time. Everything is moving so fast when you want it to slow down. When you want it to go faster, fast forward through all the misery of actually feeling something deep within, then time suddenly stands still. If there is a God, then he certainly has a twisted sense of humor. However it is, four weeks went by. For some, it was twentyfour days of kisses and for others it was twentyfour days of heartache.

For Laken, it was twentyfour days of silence and solitude well needed. For four weeks she had stayed under the radar, away from everyone. The only person she had talked to was Yumiko and that had been once only, just to make sure everyone else was alright. It was in her nature, her mothering nature, and no matter how black someone painted her heart there would always be red blood pumping through her veins.

She squinted her eyes at the summer and put her sunglasses on. David came out of the coffee shop with two ice-teas in his hands. He put them down on the table and took a seat. He leaned forward and looked at Laken.

“So?” he said. She shrugged. “That's not an answer.” he stated. Laken looked up at the sky. Clouds begun to block the sun and she put her glasses back in her purse again.

“I'm hurt and sad,” she told him, “but also relieved and unburdened. I always sensed that there was something wrong. I think I overdid my part in the relationship because I couldn't deal with the thought of loosing him, but I never had him, so... It's a burden that's lifted more than anything. I'm also pleased about everyone else. I'm sorry you didn't get your love, sweetheart, but I'm happy Kira got hers. There has been so many sad stories over the past years, so now I am happy there are none left to tell.” she said and took a sip of tea. David grimaced and Laken quickly picked it up. “... Or are there?” she said while putting her jacket on, the weather was rapidly getting colder. David lowered his head. She took his hand and squeezed it. “What's wrong?” she said. He quickly searched for something else to talk about and looked up again.

“I need to know what happened to you in that hotel room!” he said and Laken sighed and let go of his hand.

“No...” she said. “It's not relevant.” A raindrop landed in her tea and she watched the ripples form.

“To me it is.” David said to her. “Gabriel told me what you said before hanging up on him. It's disturbing and so not like you. What happened in there?”

Laken leaned forward and smiled. “Believe me,” she said, “I wouldn't go against my principles for someone as weak as Gabriel, and I wouldn't want to experience the world through the eyes of Sienna, that's a terrible thought to me! You have nothing to worry about. I simply wanted his heart to beat again. It hasn't for a very long time.”

David leaned back in his chair and breathed out. Laken poured milk into her cup and looked sharply at David. “And now you tell me exactly what's going on with Kira and Eric.” she said and drank her tea.

David sighed deeply. He realized she needed to know.

“Do you remember when Eric went to the hospital a few weeks ago with that headache and fever and it was the flu?”

“Yes, I remember.” Laken said and David looked down again.

“... It wasn't the flu.”

Laken looked down as well. “So...?” she said and dreaded the answer. As David explained, she closed her eyes and let her tears fall. “But they're going on a cruise... This can't happen now...” she said sadly. “How long does he have? Do you know? And I wonder who's going to take his li...”

They looked at each other quickly. Laken shook her head. “Oh no...”

They sat in silence, afraid to speak, until the rain started pouring down on them.

William had a dream.

His brother was in it.
This was not unusual.

They spent so much time together that Eric couldn't even stay away from William's dreams, he joked to himself where he lay, sleeping and dreaming.

In the dream, Eric found himself on a large ship with a casino at the top floor. There, he had seen a beautiful girl with bright blue eyes. Heading for their rendezvous point, he felt seasick and nervous, but laying eyes on her made everything better. She leaned over the railing watching the waves in the darkness and it brought a smile to his face. He took a step forward and she turned. As she looked at him, he ran out of breath. Smiling weakly he nodded at her. They sat down on a bench and Kira watched the stars while Eric watched her. She wore a black, elegant dress and her blonde hair was in a bundle at the back. A simple but beautiful gold chain hung around her neck and on her right wrist, a diamond bracelet glittered.
“It’s a beautiful night,” he said and watched the sky with her.
“Yes, it is,” Kira answered.
“So. Kira. Have I ever told you that you have a beautiful name? Where does it come from?” he continued.
She shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“My parents love royalties,” Eric told her, “so I’m Eric, my brother is William, our older sister’s Elisabeth and our kid sister is Diana. Very creative, isn’t it?” 

William laughed in his sleep.
“Eric, tell me something,” Kira said, still watching the sky. He looked at her. “What is life to you?”

“What?” he responded, a bit confused.

“What..?” William mumbled as well in his sleep. He turned to his side and lost focus of his dream for a second. As he returned to the lovebirds, Kira had a difficult expression on her face and they were both on their feet. She walked towards him while he slowly, calmly backed away. 
“Why are you talking about this in past tense?” he heard her saying while looking at Eric intensely. He touched the wall behind him. “What is going on??” she said loudly and Eric tried to hush her. Another couple passed them by and as Kira was about to yell, Eric kissed her. As he ended it, all sounds died out. William held his breath in his sleep and uncomfortably shifted position again, loosing touch of the dream once more. He concentrated and images flooded back, and in his head a voice sounded.
“I’m so sorry, Kira, but this is what you do.”
For a long time, everything was quiet inside of William. He felt alone and scared as the images went missing and he stood in a dark nothingness, waiting for something he knew he didn't want to see. Ice cold blue diamonds slammed him against the wall. The engine roared, the waves broke, the seagulls screamed, the guests laughed, the music played…
And Eric died. 

William woke with a jerk. He sat straight up and stared straight ahead, quietly whispering, “.... Oh no.”

Gabriel couldn't focus. He helt too much, everything. He couldn't undertsnad why people longed for love when this was what it felt like. It was as if he was trapped inside a tiny cell with no windows and no air and with a heavy chest that made each step a burden. He was worried and anxious and just couldn't shake it.

Then his phone rang, it was Laken. He felt an unfamiliar jolt in the pit of his stomach and a misfit smile spread across his face. “Thank God you finally decided to call, I've been worried sick about you.” The sentence was new and strange to him, but he just couldn't stop himself. “You have no idea how...”

He stopped and listened to what she had to say to him and the smile slowly vanished and was replaced by his old, stern expression. He sighed. “I'm sorry, Laken, but it is what it is.” he said.”It's his decision. And hers, eventually. Laken, don't cry... “ Laken hung up and Gabriel was alone again. He kept the phone to his ear for a while before putting it down on the table again. He looked out the window, thoughtfully. With his mouth still serious and straight, a small amount of hope still reached his eyes.

Love might hurt, he thought, but apparently it time and time again overcomes all obstacles in one way or the other.

They had danced all evening long. Eric never danced but he felt quite gracious doing it with Kira. In her black, elegant dress and with her blonde hair up in a bundle, she now swirled happily over the floor, holding on to him. The last song ended, they applauded the band and headed for the upper deck. All the way up there, she held on to Eric's arm, beaming blissfully. Eric glanced at her and spotted a beautiful gold chain hanging around her neck. Even if it suited her and looked absolutely gorgeous on her, it still chilled him to the bones. But it had to be right. Everything about tonight had to be exactely as in...

“What are you thinking?”

Eric swallowed hard and pushed the door open to the outer deck. “I'm just happy, I guess.” he said and showed her outside. She let go of his arm and took a few steps forward.

“Will you look at that! It's amazing!” she said and walked over to the railing. She stood there for a while, watching the stars and the sky, listening to the engine's roar and the breaking of the waves. Eric got emotional for a second but quickly pushed the inevitable avenir aside and found strength again. He reached inside his jacket and produced a diamond bracelet. Kira had his back to him and for a long while he held the jewelry in his hand, just staring at it. Eventually he sighed and walked over to her. He put his arm around her and pressed his jaw muscles together, keeping his calm and grace.

“It’s a beautiful night,” he said and watched the sky with her.
“Yes, it is,” Kira answered.
“... Have I... ever told you you have a very beautiful name? Where does it come from?” he continued and felt himself starting to shake. He closed his eyes and tried to focus.
Kira shrugged. “I have no idea where it comes from... but thank you.”
“My parents love royalties,” Eric told her, “so I’m Eric, my brother is William, our older sister’s Elisabeth and our kid sister is Diana. Very creative, isn’t it?”
“Eric, tell me something,” Kira said, still watching the sky. He knew what was to come and waited. “What is life to you?” Eric shivered and tried to speak, but reality was beginning to catch up with him now, and he felt afraid. He had not been able to predict how he would feel when this conversation actually began to take form, but now he felt afraid. Still he knew what he wanted. He might be scared but he was in control, somehow...
“Life. Is it important to you?” Kira said and watched him with a smile. 
Eric spoke familiar words. “I don’t know, haven’t really thought about it. Life is... life.”
Kira lowered her gaze and watched a couple pass them by. “But where would you be without your life?” she said and shivered a little. Eric put his arm around her to comfort her. Holding her and feeling her, and the further the conversation went, the more safe and strong he began to feel. He smiled a bit.
“I’d be dead, I guess.”
“Doesn’t that frighten you at all?”
“Haven’t thought about it.”
Silence fell for a while. The argument he had seen on this very deck before never took place. This was a better version, a stronger, more beuatiful one. Eric kept his arm around her, keeping her warm, keeping her safe from what was about to come. “You know,” he said, “I have really loved getting to know you.” He took her by the hand and placed the bracelet on her wrist. She looked at it with big eyes for a while before leaping into his arms and giving him a kiss.

“Eric, thank you! Oh my God, you're the best person ever!” she said and Eric swallowed again. He felt a bit bad, as if he was tricking her. But it had to be done. This was the place and this was the time. He positioned himself behind her, holding her tight.

“I have cherished life,” he told her, “with you. I have really been blessed having you in my life.”

“I have dragged you through hell and back...”

“Well, yeah...” Eric laughed. “But you have also loved me. I will take that with me...”

Kira turned to face him with a smile spreading from ear to ear. She tilted her head to her side. “Take it with you where exactely?”

Eric brushed some hair from her face and smiled back weakly. “I'm just saying,” he started and paused a little. He sighed. “I really did love you the moment that I first met you. I always loved you. Nothing would have ever changed that. I cherished my life because of you. Always remember that I would have stayed with you forever... if I could have.”

He held his breath, looking for a reaction in her face. She kept smiling. 
“Oh Eric, I know you love me!” she said. “There is no doubt what you feel for me and what I feel for you. We will be so happy together. Finally we're free to...”

“Kira...”

“... live a normal life together. Well, as normal as it can get with me and what I do!” She laughed a little. “I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but...”

“Kira, please listen to me...”

“... I love you and I'm so excited about...”

“I would have been excited too, just as excited as you, but... Kira, please hear the calling! You're too on edge and you really need to relax now and listen!”

Kira looked at him in surpirse and blinked. “What are you... saying exactely?” she said slowly.

“If I could have...” Eric said, “I would have loved you forever, but...”

Kira held her hands to her mouth and walked past him. He turned and walked after. She backed away quicker and quicker as more and more of his words sunk in, as more and more of the her calling started screaming the truth inside of her. She re-winded the conversation in her head and the blood froze in her veins. She felt the tattoos on her back wake up and start moving. “You're using past tense, Eric...” she said looking at him intensely. “Why??” She touched the wall behind her. Another couple passed them by and as Kira was about to scream, Eric kissed her. As he ended it, all sounds died out. Not even the roar of the ship’s engine reached them. “Eric put his lips to her ear. “You already know the answer to your question.” He kissed her cheek, wiped the approaching tears from her face and smiled. “I'm dying and if your heart wasn't so excited, you would have felt it. This is my dream. This is where it ends. You're the one who ends it. … I'm sorry, Kira, but this is what you do.”
“No, no, no...” She pushed Eric backwards and ran down the deck. She could hear him shouting her name but refused to stop. The truth came crashing in and she felt each and every pattern on her body move, hirsle and try taking control. Reality screamed at her and tried to slow her down, but Kira wouldn't stop. Running from the inevitable completion was the only thing she could think of now. Her face was damp from tears she didn't realize she was shedding and her mouth was dry. Someone caught a hold of her dress and she toppled over. Eric pinned her to the floor and she instictively raised her voice, screaming for help. Eric turned her on her back and looked down on her.

“Why isn't anyone... Why don't they help me?” Kira hissed desperately. Eric wiped the tears from her face and sighed a little. He tilted his head and just waited for Kira to understand it herself. And she did.

“... I'm not... here to them now...” she said with a fleeing voice. “You're... dying... and I'm no one.”

Eric could feel her muscles relaxing under his grip and slowly released her. She sat up and watched people pass her by, gently avoiding her without noticing her existence. They saw Eric, but just barely. No one focused on their conversation, no one paid any attention to Eric running after her in the middle of the illuminated deck. He rose and helped her up. Offering her his arm, they slowly walked back to the spot where it all had started. Kira leaned on Eric's shoulder. She wanted to speak to him but no words came out. Eric breathed in.

“I wish this wasn't your burden to bare, but it's been yours since the very beginning.”

“Maybe I can...”

“Hey, I know how this works all too well now,” Eric interrupted her, “Please don't make me a ghost.”

He felt Kira's little fingers dig deep into his arm, probably to prevent more tears from falling. He dared a glance in her direction and saw black ink crawl over the back of her neck, creating a picture of what he imagined was a large ship in a big black sea. He swallowed hard but felt an eerie calm overtake him. This was, in a creepy sense, perfect.

“Don't turn me into an unhappy soul putting the blade to my skin every week, wondering why life doesn't suit me anymore. Make it count instead, I beg you.” The ship of ink was swallowed by the black ocean and dissappeared.

They reached the railing where his dream had taken him so often before. For the first time he grabbed it in reality and looked out at the ocean. He could feel Kira watching him. First her stare was soft and hurting, full of sadness and fear. They stood silent for several minutes, both holding on to the moment. No one wanted to let go but both was getting ready for it. Kira put her hand on top of his. “Never doubt I loved you” she whispered. Then that all familiar change came coursing through her, those eyes shifted suddenly and she felt brave, calm and composed.

And Eric turned to face her.

The lukewarm breeze played amongst the leaves and made them rustle gently. The waves were small out on the ocean, the sea was relatively calm. The sun was out and summer was round the bend. Life was blossoming.

William put his hand in his pocket and produced a small, black pocket-flask. He unscrewed the cork, took a sip of the content and paused for a second before pouring the rest of the amber coloured liquid into the sea. He then raised the flask and lowered his head. “To you, my brother.”

It had been three years. He was at peace with everything just a year after. What he had been through together with his brother had opened up his world to a better understanding and an easier way of letting go. William had, in the heat of the moment and the pain of the loss, blamed many people, especially a few selected ones, especially one girl in particular. The thing with knowing what he now knew, though, was how fast peace arrived and no one was to blame. As soon as peace arrived in his heart, his world had returned to normal. Unlike his brother, William had never been truly inside that world from the beginning. It made it simple enough to go back to a life of Sunday dinners with mother, work, pleasure and travelling. “Their” world had vanished after his mourning period ceased.

He turned away from the shore and headed for the beach bar who had just opened for the season. He had been to this beach so many times before but never visited the bar. Taking a seat, he noticed a gorgeous red-head cleaning a table not far from him. Good old William smiled a crooked smile and ordered two beers. He crossed over the floor and sat down at her table. “Care to join me for a cold one?” he ventured and slid one of the glasses over to her. She stopped wiping and looked at the beverage in front of her, then eyed William up and down a couple of times.

“I'm working... “ she began slowly but then shrugged, put the dish-cloth in her back pocket and took a seat opposite him. “Then again, I own the place. I'm Hannah.”

William gave her an approving nod and raised his glass. “To you and your awesome bar.”

“To awesome me,” Hannah responded and drank. Putting her glass down again, she watched William with interest. He felt her studying his every movement and he became a little uncomfortable in his creaky old chair. He tried to make up a good enough conversation and quickly decided on the closest matter to his heart at the very moment.

“I was just down at the beach since today it's my day off,” William told her and explained why. He told Hannah about his brother and he watched her smile fade away. It was as if she was personally invested in the story, and William had not seen that coming at all. If the story was too emotional for her, he wanted to quickly change the subject. “What brings you to Westhigh Beach?” he tried. “I mean, to open a beach bar all by yourself must be tough.”

Hannah wiped a tear away quickly and breathed in, smiling a weak smile at him. “You know...” she said and stood up, “I need to get back to work. Customers will start arriving pretty soon, so I...”

Instinctively William grabbed a hold of her wrist to stop her but she quickly wriggled out of it and headed for the counter. She turned to him a little. “Thanks for the drink, but they're on me, William.”

He shrugged and shook his head a little. What a strange woman, he thought and gulped some beer.

He immediately choked on it and started coughing.

“Damn it...” he heard Hannah mumble as she made her way over to him again. As she was just about to pat him helpfully on his back, William dragged her down on the vacant chair and quickly twisted her around, staring at her back.

“Oh f**k,” she said and sighed, “No wonder you know my name.”

Although they weren't the same, he knew exactely what they were. William let her go and she slowly turned to him.

“What you do here at the beach every year,” Hannah whispered, “is such a nice gesture. We try to honour your brother as well but no one can do it like you, not with the same passion. That's so admirable. I've seen you, you know. Both me and the others.”

“The others?” William asked and Hannah nodded.

“You know who.”

William did. “Her too?” he asked but Hannah shook her head.

“She never took the boat back.”

It made sense, he thought. In some way it made perfect sense and a smile spread across his face. “She's honouring him too...” he said slowly. Hannah nodded.

“Yes. In her own way, she does.”

He sighed and stood up. So did Hannah.

William had not really wondered about what had happened to anyone after his brother's death, no one but her. Now he knew. This was the final closure and now William didn't want to know anything else. All ends were tied perfectly and every piece was there. He reached out and laid his hands, palms down, on Hannah's shoulderblades. She jerked a little but then relaxed as he embraced her dearly in a quiet “thank you” and good-bye. He headed for the entrance of the bar. As he turned back a little, he saw Hannah sitting down and he smiled widely.

The tattoos were moving.