Rewind

My smile can be more genuine

If you want.

I can backtrack some steps

If I wind up the clock

Before dawn-

Before I beguiled you

When my cheeks swelled oddly

With a flipped rainbow smile.

 

It was not human;

Too much    thought

Too much    effort

Too much    everything

Is too much

When a smile is crafted

Outside of its domain-

Bleach up the slate

And let's try it again.

I want it to be human.

Reviews

[Stammers]

'Too much thought
Too much effort
Too much everything
Is too much '

I really enjoyed this. Good write.

[An owl on the moon]

There is a poignant, vivid feel to this write, taking us back to a happier time... a reflective time... and then to the present when the smile is forced. Brilliant and moving!

[C. Porter]

This has such voice! I love how you really shine through. It's personal. The spacing is interesting, and adds to the poem's appeal. Only this line seemed awkward--"Is too much" after the "too much"es, but maybe that was the point. Too much, I guess. ;)

[n]

Wow, nice job! I really feel you in this poem. It reminds me of time in the United States when I visited various fast food joints. The air falseness that smacks a cynical Brit in the face when a spotty, underpaid, over worked teenage girl says "Here you are sir, have a nice day now, take care, bye!!"

I want it to be human!