Entry 5: Quick Answers, Slow Questions

My mind is constantly scratching on the mold it has been shifted into, the walls I needed to build to keep it sane, keep it still, a sort of personal Hoover Dam. I feel the water, the dirty rubble flowing behind the concrete, I not only think my thoughts, I am them. In spite of how passionately my therapist preached that my thoughts, feelings and the rest of me are different entities, she is not me, she does not share the same home as the darkness that relentlessly haunts me. I build walls to protect, I destroy them to save myself. Repeating this process inevitably makes one hollow. Lost.

So what do I do to conquer this loneliness? I ask questions without answers, and expect them to be answered. Slow questions cannot be answered by quick answers. Therefore I need to not only realize but interalize that good answers do not come quickly and do not provide answers, only more questions. What they do provide however is knowledge and critical thinking, a rarity in a modern society plagued by mind parasites that shame my own. Perhaps the trick is to distinguish which parasites you're okay with to rent your mind and energy to and with which you're not.