Flames of Love

Second version, because people I read this to didn't quite like the first one.

Drop after drop

The water trickles down slowly

Pouring rivers and streams

Run down my naked back

For each  touch my skin is scorched

Drop after drop I am blistered

A  fierce heat like no other

But a pain I know too well

Through a single heart's plea

A weeping hymn fills empty halls:

"May my armor be set ablaze

And may my chest be set on fire

For it was not the flames of love

That brought warmth on cold nights

For it was not the flames of love

That scorched my naked skin

For it was not the flames of love

That had burned inside this heart"

 - O. 

Reviews

[Emily]

Another great piece. You have lovely vivid descriptions. You show instead of telling. Amazing!

[McBear]

Sounds like a war of some sort. In the desert perhaps? Because the water scorched.

[Alessander]

A weeping hymn fills empty halls

Really liked that line

For some reason, this piece reminded me of medieval cathedrals

Nice contrast of water and fire as well.

[Valentine]

I like most of the lines but was left wondering.....if it was not love that scorched you like this..what was it? Valentine

[Omikron]

I actually removed the very last two sentences from the previous version just to awake that very question. I believe that most relationships are based on loving ourselves and the idea of affection rather not pure and true love, therefore there burns a greed within us, and we are left with becoming somebody we never thought could exist because of our own imagination, we become our own romantic downfall.

But as always, it's free to interpret just as you like :)

Thanks for reading.

// O

[Joey Nizz]

great choice of words for a captivating poem, well done.

[Gabriel]

Beautiful two Stanzas of Poetry.. I like how both contradicted one another, yet they were in perfect sync. Well done!

[Omikron]

Thank you for reviewing, what a relief that they seemed in sync, I was afraid that their differences would ruin the poem, and not create the contrast I was aiming for.

Thank you for stopping by. :)

// O

[Tony Jordan]

Got the feeling of love gone wrong in this one. The love that felt so good and which permeated our narrator was evilly burning underneath yet in love's euphoria and it's 'blindness' it appeared to be the warmth of love.
Only after a realtionship has collapsed do we get a look from the perspective of 'reality'. A reality-check, if you will.
Dark and powerful poem Omikron of the Omidashians - are you the one with the h-u-u-u-g-e butt then?

[Omikron]

Yes I agree with you, what a deep insight indeed.

Haha my butt is as huge as my love for melancholic poems.... so you know it's gigantic! ;)

// O

[Hebe]

This is so powerful emotionally awesome writing ....

[Omikron]

Thanks for reading...:)

// O

[Manu]

Beautiful just wow...O :-)
Love is always accompanied by sadness that is a proved fact. Devil can't tolerate love as he is filled with hatred so bring some angels around to fight them out.
This poem flows smoothly...your love for melancholic genre can be understood...but don't let it affect you..speedy recovery to you !
Good one, O :-)

[Omikron]

I agree with you, thank you for your lovely words. :)

Yes, I am a sucker for melancholic poems, I feel that sadness is the most suppressed and yet most powerful emotion a person can experience, therefore it's easy to write about it :)-

Thank you again.

// O

[mum]

i love this ... are you saying that love is evil? or that you were mistaken for what you thought was love ? either way i love the wording. great job.

[Omikron]

It's up to the writer to decide, we all look at love differently. However, in this poem I write about how love can make a person evil, and the ways it can affect us.

Thanks for reading.

//O

[mum]

I totally see that ! and it's true... love makes us do things that can be out of our character... sometimes evil things.
enjoyed it