In Trust I Trusted
A Poem by
Omikron
Bones to bones
Figures of clay
Crafted by Gods
Were we
In the chambers of hearts
Sleeps a choking desire
Beneath polished skin
Is greed
A human frame
With the face of an angel
My blood you boiled
Like tea
In trust I trusted
Lord knows I did
Like the sailor trusts
The sea
Prisons you built
With these pillars of trust
Thousands of doors
No key
In trust I trusted
Seduced by my sin
All I learned was how
To bleed
© 2024 Omikron
Author's Note
Picture by Pyrogas-Artworks at DeviantArt!
Reviews
This poem is marvelous. Excellent artistic writing. Keep it up friend 😊 loved your writing
Posted 10 Months Ago
Dangerously desolate. Very visual.
Good read.
With love,
Matthew
Posted 1 Year Ago
Dangerously desolate. Very visual.
Good read.
With love,
Matthew
Trust is everything in a relationship and if it's non-existent then it implodes. I like the use of your strong language "pillars you build with these pillars of trust"....." my blood you boiled like tea" Thank you for sharing an important part of life....
Warmly, B
Posted 1 Year Ago
Trust is everything in a relationship and if it's non-existent then it implodes. I like the use of your strong language "pillars you build with these pillars of trust"....." my blood you boiled like tea" Thank you for sharing an important part of life....
Warmly, B
You have to be careful about trust. It can become a prison, which I think you, now, already know.
I love the last line.
Posted 1 Year Ago
You have to be careful about trust. It can become a prison, which I think you, now, already know.
I love the last line.
"...My blood you boiled
Like tea."
Powerful!--as is this entire piece.
High-level work, O.
Posted 6 Years Ago
"...My blood you boiled
Like tea."
Powerful!--as is this entire piece.
High-level work, O.
Both the form and content are to be commended. It blooms like a rose in a thicket of thorns. May the rose ever bloom.
Posted 6 Years Ago
Both the form and content are to be commended. It blooms like a rose in a thicket of thorns. May the rose ever bloom.
"A human frame
With the face of an angel
My blood you boiled
Like tea"
I just love how it was an effortless gliding between light and darkness, hope and despair. So beautiful.
Posted 7 Years Ago
"A human frame
With the face of an angel
My blood you boiled
Like tea"
I just love how it was an effortless gliding between light and darkness, hope and despair. So beautiful.
' Prisons you built ~ With these pillars of trust ~
Thousands of doors ~ No key .. '
This seems to be only a few finely metered words BUT they say so very much. You're near damning trust for the weakness it can be; emotions battered, confidence drowned in the realisation that nothing is certain. Perhaps?
This has such a rawness to it, yet.. your word play is fragile..
Posted 7 Years Ago
' Prisons you built ~ With these pillars of trust ~
Thousands of doors ~ No key .. '
This seems to be only a few finely metered words BUT they say so very much. You're near damning trust for the weakness it can be; emotions battered, confidence drowned in the realisation that nothing is certain. Perhaps?
This has such a rawness to it, yet.. your word play is fragile..
The bars and rhymes are neat, and your word choice is dusty, with traces of seduction in it. Fantastic breath while reading, and environment is stark, with traces of dark impressions throughout. Polished and almost bitter. Well penned...
Posted 7 Years Ago
The bars and rhymes are neat, and your word choice is dusty, with traces of seduction in it. Fantastic breath while reading, and environment is stark, with traces of dark impressions throughout. Polished and almost bitter. Well penned...
The imagery and the smooth flow of word made me so anxious to keep reading great job!
Posted 7 Years Ago
The imagery and the smooth flow of word made me so anxious to keep reading great job!
7 Years Ago
Thank you!
// O
first
prev
1
Stats
890 Views
19 Reviews
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on January 9, 2017
Last Updated on August 11, 2024
Tags:
Trust ,
Blood ,
Horror ,
Thriller ,
Story ,
Telltale ,
Like ,
Love ,
Fresh ,
Frehfinds ,
January ,
Start ,
Sleep ,
Dark ,
Eerie ,
Scary ,
Fiction ,
Broken ,
Heartbreak ,
Depression
Author
Omikron Sweden
About
I'm a young soul, trying to navigate the world through creative elements.
more..
Writing
Related Writing
People who liked this story also liked..