Chapter 1

That night she was born was a stormy night.
The cries of labour emanating from her mother coupled with the thunders and lightnings outside the hospital building produced a bone-chilling effect,making the other labouring mothers wary of the time they will be asked to "Push".
The sounds were so horrifying that her father wished he could turn back the hands of time.
He promised himself this was the only child his wife could give birth to.
He made plans on how to convince his wife to be contented with just a child.
Plans he never got to execute as his wife died after she saw their daughter and smiled at her,as they tried to make her cry.
"Her name is Chioma", she said,looking directly at her husband.
"Take care of her and yourself".
"What do you mean by that?"
her father bellowed,hurrying to his wife's side
"Don't say things like that...... Angel! Angel!!"
he shouted as he saw her lifeless eyes staring at him seeing nothing.
He struggled as the doctors forced him out of the ward,trying to ascertain themselves what was happening...
To be continue....

Reviews

[matrixmark]

Quite a dramatic beginning, by adding in the thunder outside you created quite an atmosphere. Coupled with the pain of the mother. Very, very sad what was to follow, a heartbreaking time no less for the father....a life dies and a new one is born. So much conflict of happiness and sadness at the same time.

What would be good to add, to give that extra punch is to describe the fathers emotions to give the piece an extra depth to it. It will enable the readers to really 'FEEL' and become more emotionally involved int this piece. The foundations have been laid and are there for to be exploited to take it to the next level. Its always about reaching into the your imagination and digging deep inside to create a piece which you will be proud about.

This was good, a rollercoaster of a ride.

Mark.