i love you, but not really..

Feeling good is probably the new love...no?

There was a time I thought the movies captured accurate expressions of genuine emotions, where, if you were deeply in love with somebody, at some point it was justifiable to intend to kill or die for that sake; whether you go ahead and do either, or you don't, is not the point (stay with me here). My silly mind felt being emotionally constricted was just like being selfish to humanity. That love is not yours to keep. Since you did not create it, then it shouldn't be. True, it can be a choice, but then we'll be back to egocentricity and human nature.

I felt there was an underlying 'sharing' factor that came tagged with it. Maybe the 'kill, or die' sentiment is somewhat an extreme impulse, I admit, and maybe it's not healthy to get to that level emotionally with somebody, anybody; maybe we should just leave the unconditionality of love for God, maybe this isn't making sense anymore. I do know there are many untold stories, or probably told but not thoroughly circulated, about queer love acts. I think Shakespeare understood this and he tried to capture it. Well, he probably just sought to play out his imaginations on paper. Powerful stuffs.
It doesn't even matter anymore because such is regarded as a misconception of the true idea of real romance. Infact, you'll be advised to spare a part of your heart, and not bare a hundred percent to anyone, so as not to act a fool, which by the way, is generic and forgettable.

There was also a time I thought it wasn't possible to have feelings for someone new with the same intense passion as you did for the last person who turned out to be a heartwrencher, being your heart that was brutally and exclusively wrenched. Granted, not everyone dwells on sadness, especially as some memories are indelible. For something you thought meant everything at a time, after its gone, you might ache whenever you reminisce; here, having a new start with zero residual emotion is quite a possible task; but come on, if you could have evoked such strong emotions in the first instance, there's no telling that letting go would be a seemingly difficult task. No? Well, so i thought. Now, you could still love just as intensely, out of a soberly and carefully patched heart, afterall, time will pass and the hurt will heal. Just a few wounds time doesn't heal but lessens the pain (meaning eventually the pain will cease to exist, right?).

There was this time also i thought true love was incontingent to reciprocrity, because i read somewhere, sometime not important now, about the sort of profound love parents have for their kids at that age where the kids are incapable of returning the gesture. It led me to think love was simple. Easy. Selfless. Fair. Immeasurable. Tender. Free. These are but obsolete terms now in that regard. Or maybe this kind of love just existed for infants or newly wedded couples. What do i know.

i'm just tired of thinking the wrong things.

Author's Note

Be harsh with your corrections if you please. i'm new and i want sincere opinions. i can take it

Reviews

[Mirra]

I like how the story came from the author's point of view it made it realistic. I also like how you explain what you thought about love and plainly your ideas. There was also a time where deep emotions are present. We have our own definition and perception about love, they vary base from what we experience and see. There is never a wrong answer when defining what is love for people have their own love, heaven and hell. I don't have harsh correction about this one, it went smoothly with honesty so I really like this one. Thanks for sharing this, I may have my own say about love too, however I learned something from this piece ^_^!

[maxie-thena]

You're far too kind with your words

[Fenix Flight]

I love the deep emotions in this piece, its very well written, and I dont see anything that needs to be changed. Keep it up :-D

[maxie-thena]

Thank you dear

[Bluefire]

I like that you wrote out your sincere thoughts, though they seemed a bit scattered, just a tad.
Love is rather confusing, isn't it? Hard to dissect and see what makes it tick. Much like time, spirits and all sorts of other things beyond our very imagination.
I do like Shakespeare's works, whether they be fantasies or real feelings, they were amazing. ^^
Anywho, well played. ^^

[maxie-thena]

i also thought it was disorganized, so i wanted another opinion. Thanks. i love that you said all these nice things ^^ i have an idea for something now!!!

[Bluefire]

Yay! Inspiration! x3
You're welcome!

[Holly O'Brien]

I did not read this as a story but as someone asking very sincere questions. (Perhaps this is more like a blog post) There are emotions and answers deeply woven into this piece and so I simply enjoyed the protagonist's style of sharing their thoughts on such a complex topic.

[maxie-thena]

Thanks for sharing this thought. It really means a lot to me

[M.K. Jawdat]

You're story is really nice, well written. Keep writing

[maxie-thena]

Oh thank you

[TheSearcher]

Yea i'm still doubting that word heartwrencher, but its not my right to change it because the work is not mine. True that love is seemingly easy but in this world notthing is easy unless you know how to handle. Most cases of love always present the heart before mind when its supposed to be mind and heart working together not fighting each other.

[maxie-thena]

Yea. i wish the old way could come into play