Happy Valentine's Day

A Story by Heilig

Oliver comes to the same book shop for several reasons: he's a writer, he loves to read, there's the best coffee in Sheffield and a mysterious girl with curly chestnut hair.

February 7th. Monday.

I saw her again. That mysterious girl was sitting on the floor between book stacks in the small café-shop NYC, which was not New York City, but New York Coffee. It was a small American place with the most delicious coffee in Sheffield. That time I couldn’t help stopping to see what book she was reading. Dean Koontz? An interesting choice.

-Would you recommend this book? - I asked coming closer to the girl.

She startled and raised her head. Taking a closer look, that girl appeared even prettier than I imagined. Her slightly curly chestnut hair barely touched the shoulders, the eyes were emerald-green, she had a nice small nose and full lips - everything seemed to be perfect in her. She was thin and (I guess) pretty short, and her clothes were more comfortable than fashionable: green jumper over white shirt, black jeans and vans.

-Are you talking to me? - she looked back if there was somebody else.

-Yeah, not so many people come here. Modern technologies, ebooks and all that stuff.

-Yes, books are out of fashion, - she shrugged and showed me the cover of the book she had in her hands. There was a picture of man’s legs in black pants and fancy shoes, and the title said “Odd Thomas”, - I love this book series and I think the author is underrated.

-I’ve heard of him. What this book is about? - I didn’t want to obtrude the talk, but I couldn’t leave either.

-If you like horrors, mystery and detective stories, I can tell you, - she questioningly raised an eyebrow.

-I’d love to hear, - I took the “front seat” and put my cup of coffee on the floor next to me, - oh, do you want coffee? My treat.

The girl shook her head and started the story. It was a pleasure to listen to her. Her face and gestures perfectly expressed every emotion. When I ran out of coffee, I asked her to stop for a minute and went for another cup.

-I am probably wearing you down, - she said and smiled titling her head a little down, - if it is so, please, tell me, I’ll get it.

-No, no, I am curious to know the ending of the story, - I gave a nod at the book.

- Then you should know that this book series includes five books and this one is just the first part of Odd Thomas’ life.

- In that case, I need more cappuccino, - we laughed and got back to the world of mystery, intrigue and unusual ability of a guy to see ghosts.

- Odd, - I drawled, when the girl finished the story, - such a strange name he has.

- The name suits his life, doesn’t it? - she shrugged and smiled.

- His whole life is one complete oddity! All these people surrounding him, and let alone the ghosts. By the way, it would be easier, if they could talk.

My phone buzzing in my pocket interrupted the conversation. I excused myself and left to answer.

-Did anything happen? - she asked noticing my worried look.

-Oh, no, but I have to leave now, - that was the last thing I wanted to do, however I had no choice, - can we meet tomorrow? I mean, in this café.

-I’m here almost every day, usually in the afternoon, - and again that beautiful smile of hers.

- Then see you tomorrow?

- See you, - she waved her hand and sank into reading.

I was right at the exit, when I remembered one important thing.

-I am Oliver, - I squealed out standing between book stacks again.

-Alice, - she smiled and added, - it is nice to meet you, Oliver.

-Me too, - and an awkward silence hang between us.

- So, I’ll go, - I showed to the exit door and left the building overcoming the feeling of staying in that café forever.

February 8^th. Tuesday.

Did I get a good night’s sleep? Definitely did not. Firstly, I had to work all night as somebody was procrastinating last week. Secondly, my job crocked up not only morally, but what was weird, physically as well. I didn’t do anything indecent, didn’t imagine things, I just wrote books. I was not Arthur Conan Doyle, but even so, I had people who read my creations. Didn’t want to brag, but there is a Facebook page about me and my books. I wrote basically for myself, and it still surprised me that people found them amazing. At that moment, I was finishing the book about one guy from Tokyo, who struggled with depression and everyday will to kill himself. And it turned to be much more difficult than I thought it would be. All my books contained some parts of my own life, my own experience and my own memories about what I went through when I was a teenager. It was so hard to relive all of this again in my head while writing, that was why I got stuck a little.

-Mark, how many weeks do I have? I need an exact number. Can you tell me? - five minutes passed since I had called my agent and I still hadn’t heard anything specific.

-Oliver, have I ever given you any limits for work? If you don’t have it now, it’s fine. Just finish it.

-For the umpteenth time the same! - I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly, - you know that I work slowly if the deadline is eternity. You said yesterday that the publishing house told off in this connection.

- Fine-fine! Make it done till the end of February? Are you ok with this deadline? - Mark rustled with paper at the other end of the line.

- Totally, - and he hang up unexpectedly as always.

Intending to pull out one more paragraph from my head, I brewed another cup of coffee. I drank it so much that I had a feeling it was in my veins. I sat back to the computer. Having spent thirty minutes in the same position, I realized that my productivity reached its limit.

At first, I thought it would be a perfect naptime, but I chose something more entertaining - to see Alice. She was another reason why I worked the whole night. Every ten minutes I interrupted myself recalling that girl. Yesterday’s talk to her was a brave step from me, because strangers scared me, especially girls. May be it is a stereotype that writers are shy and reserved, but I certainly proved that to be true.

My watch showed 14:15. I gathered courage and stepped into the café, looked around. She wasn’t sitting at any table; she wasn’t sitting between the book stacks either. I went for a second circle just in case.

-Can I help you? - a consultant in a bright green t-shirt stopped me, when I attempted to look around for the third time.

-Oh, yeah, I have a meeting here with a girl, - I started, - have you seen her? She is short with chestnut shoulder-length hair.

My description was obviously enough as the consultant shook his head and got back to his duties. The only right choice for that moment was to stay there a little longer and wait. That’s what I did.

14:30

15:05

16:00

That was so stupid. It was my fault, that I was sad and full on my way home then (I had nothing to do and I had been eating at NYC). I could have arranged particular time or taken her phone number. What if I never saw her again? May be I should have come earlier? Or what if she didn’t show up on purpose? Shoot, that was what I did best - overthinking. I shook the unnecessary thoughts off and decided I would go there tomorrow.

February 10^th. Thursday.

Second day in a row I appeared in NYC. All employees casted a sidelong glances at me every time I came up to the book stacks and sighed. Was it possible to see her again? That was my only thought when I walked out of the café to the snow-covered street. I didn’t want to go home, so I switched my way to the opposite side.

I had seen Alice several times, but she disappeared right after our talk. I ruined everything. I should have admired her from a distance like any normal stalker did and life would be perfect. But no, I should have come up. Ok, that wasn’t so bad in fact, but I couldn’t understand one thing: why was I so attracted to that girl? Actually, I didn’t know her at all. What was about her that I got so obsessed after only one talk? Was I some teenager or what? Sadness gave place to anger. Not with Alice, with me of course. My thoughts tortured me, although I understood that it all was meaningless. I was to blame for everything happened to me. So, it was me who had to make it all up.

In order to distract myself from self-reflection, I chose the busiest street to walk. People had such a bad habit to discuss everything thinking nobody could hear them. However, then their silly speaking was something I needed. Yes, I wanted to know how children of that woman behaved themselves when her husband was watching them; or who Madison was dating. Listening to random stories of passers-by, I tried to put myself in their shoes. Having tried on roles of a strict teacher, someone’s mistress and a guy with a broken heart, I realized it was time to end my “journey”. I turned to the 6^th avenue and made my way to NYC. I had no hope for anything, but I wanted to visit this place once again.

I expected not to see Alice, but I saw nobody at all, except the bright sign “Closed” behind the dark window. And in that exact moment I thought that I would probably never see her again, even if I came to this café every day. Then I wished to be home on the couch with a cup of hot tea. Turning my motionless body around I heard a quite rustle behind my back.

-I thought I would never see you again.

I knew the voice. It was Alice.

-Hi! - she said when I looked in her eyes.

- Hey! - I managed to say smiling like an idiot, - I was here several times, but we might have come at different time.

- I am sorry, I couldn’t make it, - she lowered her glance at the book in her hands.

- It’s fine, you are here, me too, - I added noticing a smile on her face, - let’s walk?

- With pleasure, - she replied, - but take this at first.

She gave the book and the lantern’s light showed me the familiar cover.

-I finished it yesterday and wanted to share. You can have it now. Just tell me if you like it or not then.

-I am sure I will like it, - I glanced at the book one more time, - shall we go?

You know that part of a romantic movie where characters have a good time, they fool around and it seems that there is nobody except them in the world, and some melodic love song plays in the background. That was the same moment of my life, without music only.

We just bummed around streets discussing books, music, bad attitude of some people and why scientists still had not invented teleportation. After that, we accidentally happened to be in that part of the city neither me, nor Alice hadn’t been before. When I felt cold all over my body, I suggested finding a place to get warm. We sighted the only open café named Room Café. There weren’t so many people in there: just two girls in the farthest corner and one middle-aged man sitting on a high chair at the bar counter.

-Let’s sit there? - I picked a table in another farthest corner, where nobody could hear us as well as we couldn’t hear others.

Alice nodded and we headed to the table.

-Do you want something to eat or drink? - I asked her attempting to find a menu.

-No, thanks.

As I didn’t find any menu, I came up to the bartender. He was a man of forty-five years, who looked more like a maniac killer than a bartender, or my imagination was too vivid.

-Excuse me, do you have any menu or I can order right here? - I asked at my own risk.

The “maniac” and the man at the bar counter raised their, as it seemed to me, baleful gaze at me, but sometimes you had to put your prejudice aside.

-Good evening! You may order here. We have tea, coffee and two types of pies: apple and cherry, - a-bartender-and-not-a-maniac smiled and passed me a laminated piece of paper.

-Well, I would like a cup of green tea with lemon and a piece of apple pie, please, - I said looking through the menu.

-I will bring the order in five minutes. Have a nice evening! - a totally friendly bartender-definitely-not-a-killer had taken a menu from my hands and left to the kitchen.

-Life sucks, huh? - blurted the man from the high chair.

-What? Are you talking to me? - I turned around, - my life is wonderful.

-I also thought so, - he clucked sadly and put a hand on my shoulder, - never marry! Do you hear me? Never!

I hadn’t a chance to answer as the man rushed over and quickly left the café. What a strange place I thought, but decided to visit it in the afternoon.

-Sorry, it took so long, - I said taking place in front of Alice.

- The city without people becomes so comfortable, haven’t you noticed? Especially in the night, when there are no cars, no people, and even the most reckless walkers get back home. Then the silence sets in and you hear the city breathing, - Alice froze for a moment and then embarrassedly buried her face in her hands, - I am sorry. You think I am some kind of crazy.

- No-no, I don’t! I liked it. So inspiring and truthful! Please, continue, I’d love to hear more, - I leaned my head on my hand and got ready to take all the information that girl would tell me.

Two or three hours went by. During that time I drank three cups of tea and ate two pieces of the apple pie (an overeater, I know). Our conversation didn’t stop even for a moment. It seemed we hadn’t seen each other for a long time and then wanted immediately to share everything what happened. The girl sitting across me turned prettier and more charming with every minute we spent together. When Alice tucked her hair behind her ear once again, I noticed two earrings in her left ear. Even that was cute and attractive. I supposed I knew what was happening to me. The time was after midnight, I was sitting in the bar or café in the unknown part of the city with the girl I barely knew and I thought it was the ideal evening. I fell in love.

-What did you say? - having realized that I was getting feelings to the girl, I fell out of the conversation for several seconds.

-We probably should go, - Alice repeated her last words and nodded towards the half-sleeping bartender.

- Should we? - I took a view of the empty café and despite the fact that I didn’t want to end this wonderful evening, it was late and we should go, - Yeah, I will just pay, wait for me.

I took my wallet out of the pocket and having counted the approximate cost of my “dinner” put twenty pounds on the counter. I added several pounds as tips.

Alice was standing on the porch “wrapping up” in her own hands. I took off my scarf and gave it to the girl right off.

-No, thanks, - she shook her head, but I insisted and she gave in.

When she was putting the scarf on, she smiled and I thought how pretty that girl was. I couldn’t help but smile back.

-I have to go, it’s late, - it was almost a whisper.

-Let me take you home? - I said aloud, although in my mind I was ready to walk until sunrise.

-There’s no point.

-I can’t let you go alone in the dark.

-Then just see me off to some NYC, - after a little hesitation, Alice responded and put her hands in the pockets of her coat.

I only nodded and we went the same way we came here.

February 13^th. Sunday.

Last several days had gone so fast and lasted forever at the same time. I still didn’t get Alice’s phone number, because she refused to give it to me, but our meetings were like on schedule. We would meet nearby the NYC and walk, generally, in the park. We chose the places where people couldn’t see us. Alice didn’t like crowds and I get it, I didn’t too. Therefore, we spent hours on the bench hidden behind the trees in the central park talking about books, childhood, pets, dreams.

-A house by the lake? Is this what you want and that’s all? - Alice surprisingly asked getting up from the bench and added looking at my confused face, - and what about “I want millions, cool car and a beautiful wife”? It is what all the guys want, isn’t it?

- Do I look like this type of guy? - I also got up and whirled around to prove otherwise, - and you can’t earn much selling books, when you are not Stephen King or who wrote that stuff called Twilight.

-So you actually want it? I knew it! - Alice laughed and wanted to punch me in my shoulder, but didn’t and just put her hands in her pockets.

-What do you dream about? - I had decided to put a good face on it, as Alice apparently didn’t consider me as a good friend to punch in the shoulder.

We went on walking down the path.

-Me? Oh, nothing, - she smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile, - I live one day, as they say. Although…

I watched how the expression on her face was changing. She smiled again, then looked at me, lowered her eyes and stopped. I stood still as well. I didn’t want to break the silence that time. Alice needed a moment to continue talking and I was ready to wait even the whole day (thought the lanterns’ light prompted me that the day was almost over).

-There is one thing I want to do, - she raised her eyes and lowered her voice, - I would like to go to the USA.

-What? - I asked again, though I heard perfectly, though it was that moment when your mouth spoke faster than your brain could process the information.

- To the USA, - she repeated and kept going forward quickly.

-Why there? - I hastened after her.

-I don’t know. It seems so simple there and people are easy-going and careless, - she stopped short and turned around, - you know what I mean?

I almost ran into her stopping my body ten inches away from Alice’s. She flinched and staggered back a little.

-I’m sorry, - I rushed to apologize, - you just…too shortly, sorry.

-It’s ok, it was my fault anyway, - Alice smiled and came up to me, - I overreacted.

That was the exact moment, when I realized I was ready to forgive everything to that wonderful smile. It scared me how a person you just got acquainted to could become a significant part of your life. And what scared me most was the awareness that I already couldn’t imagine my life without that person.

-Are we good then? - I stifled the desire to hug Alice, because of her touching dislike, when she nodded energetically, - aren’t you cold? Let’s go find a place to get warm?

Alice tried to convince me she wasn’t cold, but I insisted and we entered a winter garden.

The rest of the evening passed without any accidents. After the winter garden, I saw Alice off to NYC and mustered courage to ask her out on an official date in one fancy restaurant, because the next day was Valentine’s Day. She pondered for a moment, then said “yes” and we arranged the meeting there. Tomorrow was going to be an incredible day.

February 14^th. Monday.

A week had passed since I first time spoke to Alice. I wanted to say something like “as if we knew each other forever”, but it was not true. I didn’t know a lot of things about her. However, I wanted to know and, let me be more romantic, I wanted to spend the rest of my life getting to know that fantastic girl with green eyes. Today I was more sentimental than usual, because it was a holiday, a silly one, but still a holiday. And I was going on a date.

Instead of working, I filled in time by preparation to the date. I showered and even ironed my clothes. It happened not so often by the way. I was not a slattern guy, no way, but I just neglected some things from a daily routine. For example, I didn’t get the idea of ironing clothes when they could smoothen on you or wrinkle anyway. I even shaved, and this “activity” I skip frequently. Everybody called me a hipster, a super fancy name for a guy with a beard, but I was actually just a hermit crab with no social life and time to fix myself up. But that night was an exception. I wanted everything to be perfect.

-You won’t ruin anything tonight, - I told myself just before leaving my house.

The place we arranged our date was not so far away, but I chose to get there by taxi. The ride was about twenty minutes and I spent them in awkward silence. It seemed to me that the taxi driver was about to say something, but he didn’t, and I kept silent. So, I was just looking outside the window and thinking about Alice.

From the outside, the restaurant looked simple. A small porch, wooden doors, above which was a lantern with the sign “Lucky Fox”. The entrance reminded me of a clandestine pub for VIP guests, mafia and criminals. Apparently, I had read too many crime stories.

As for indoors interior the place was stylish, inviting and warm, especially considering the weather. The interior was in minimalistic style, as they say. Beige shades and dark wood. I didn’t know chalk from cheese in designing, but I see that the owners got their money’s worth. Every detail had its place and was important, even if it was a small vase with artistic flowers. I had been at this restaurant for several times and I always admired the atmosphere of comfort prevailed in here.

-Good evening, sir! We do not have any vacant tables so far, but if you are ready to wait, - a short girl with blonde hair fixed in a ponytail came up to me.

-Hello! I booked a table for two on 7 o’clock. Oliver, - I smiled and followed Jennifer (her name was on the badge).

- Yes, table number 9, - Jennifer pointed out the direction with her hand and I followed her again.

- My name is Jennifer and I am your waiter for tonight, - the girl informed me when I made myself comfortable in an armchair, - here’s your menu. Are you ready to make an order or you need some time?

-I’ll wait for my company and we will order together.

-Have a nice evening, sir! - Jennifer smiled politely and left me looking through the menu.

19:15

Alice was late and, with every minute, my facial expression was turning into a sad grimace.

19:25

Jennifer came up two more times asking about the order and I requested her to wait. I examined everything around me. It seemed I could draw all the surrounding objects with my eyes closed.

19:35

-Excuse me, sir, - somebody tapped on my shoulder.

- Yes? - I raised my head and saw Jennifer’s confused look.

- Someone left this for you.

- For me?

- Your name is written here.

I finally took the “package” and thanked the girl who glanced at me and went away. “To Oliver” was written in neat handwriting on a wrapping paper. When I unfolded it, I saw the book “Brother Odd” by dean Koontz. It was the second part of the book series about Odd Thomas. But why? I picked at the book and a small envelope fell out of it.

Dear, Oliver! I couldn’t come to the restaurant. I am sorry. Meet me at NYC at 8. I will wait. Alice.

I didn’t know how to react. Was I happy? Yes. Was I upset? Probably. Angry? Definitely not. The main thing was that we didn’t lose the connection and I would see Alice that night. And that was enough for me to calm down. I put on my coat and apologized to Jennifer that I had to go without ordering anything.

19:46 was on my watch. It meant I had fourteen minutes to get to the destination. I called for taxi and it took 6 minutes for a car to drive there. I didn’t want to be late, because then we could never meet each other again. Our meetings were always talked over beforehand.

-Can you drive a little faster? - I hurried the driver, but he just sniffed and nothing changed.

20:03

I stood in front of the NYC taking my breath and looking around in attempt to spot Alice. I hoped I wasn’t late. Taking into account the cold weather Alice might have come in the café. Having fixed myself up, I entered the NYC. All the people inside, including two consultants, looked at me, but were no more interested in me after a second.

Was I really late? That was the only thought in my head, when I searched the café and didn’t find Alice. I sat at the table to think of what to do next. And what could I do anyway? I would just stay here until she showed up. I would spend the whole night here if I needed to. I firmly hit the table with my fist startling a woman nearby. I was just about to apologize, but I saw a familiar silhouette behind the window.

-Alice, - I bawled out involuntarily and the woman startled again.

I gave a jump and headed to the exit introduced myself to notice again.

-I don’t understand what’s wrong! - I said shortening the distance between us to six feet.

People kept watching from the café, but I kept ignoring them looking straight into those green eyes.

-Oliver, please, I am sorry, - Alice made a step towards me, - I can explain.

- I would love to listen to, because I don’t know any reasonable excuses, - the blame sounded more aggressive in my voice than I intended it to be.

-Not here, please, - curious idlers behind the window kept watching even after Alice looked at them.

I went along the road without saying anything. I was afraid that all the words could lead to inconvertible and unpleasant consequences. What could happen if Alice missed our first official date? Actually, we had a plenty of dates, but exactly that one I wanted to spend like normal people.

While I was pondering, Alice caught up, but did not break the silence.

-You may start explaining, - I sputtered and looked at her.

- M-may I show you something at first? - her voice cracked a little.

I just nodded and followed her. The way was unfamiliar to me. The number of houses around us was less and less. We got off of the sidewalk to a strange path. During our silent walk, we met only two people. Of course, who else would walk in that cold? Only desperate one. Because of the trees, the lanterns barely lighted our path. When we turned out to be in complete darkness, I whispered.

-Alice?

- I am here, Oliver, - I heard quiet voice in front of me, - we are almost there.

Before I could ask another question, we came out to a big arch with lanterns on the both sides of it. “Cemetery” " that what was written on the arch.

What an idiot I was! Someone from her relatives died probably and I acted like a selfish person. My anger melted away in a moment and it changed into regret and tenderness.

-I am so so-

- Follow me, - Alice interrupted my apologies and we went inside that “city of dead”.

Silence. So quiet you couldn’t even hear birds. I went after Alice preparing a speech in my head about how I was sorry and that everything was going to be ok. In truth, I never knew how to talk about things like that. The “I am sorry” was so void and meaningless. It was just politeness, but who cares about it when you lost a loved one? That’s why all the words I could think of lost their meaning as soon as I imagined how I would say them aloud.

-Stop, - Alice shoot out her arms not letting me pass further, - firstly, I want to apologize. I am sorry, Oliver. I didn’t want it to happen like that.

Alice lowered her arms and let me come up to a small gravestone, which looked just the same as others around. Flowers lied in front of it. Peonies. Her favorite.

-Alice Margaret Kelly was born in 1992 and died in 2016, - I sighed, - Alice?

-I didn’t think anyone could see me, and then you spoke to me and I couldn’t tell you. You would leave me. Oliver, I wanted, I really did, but I was so happy.

Alice kept rambling, but her voice seemed so strange, as if I heard it for the first time. At that moment, everything clicked into place. She always refused to eat. She never touched me. The places of our meetings excluded people. She never told me about her family and her life at all. As a matter of fact, I didn’t know anything about her. And did I need it then? She’s gone. May be I just went crazy?

Not paying any attention to Alice’s words, I stepped forward and hugged her. My arms just swished the air and I turned out to be behind her back, having felt only cold wave in my chest.

-Oliver, - she whispered, but I didn’t turn around.

I couldn’t imagine this even in a terrifying nightmare. It wasn’t real.

-Am I dead?

I said that. I was scared by that thought, but I also wanted to hear yes in response. Then my life with Alice, sepulchral then, wouldn’t change.

-No, - another cold wave spread all over my body because of realization that we had no future.

-We can’t be together, - she said as if she had read my mind.

-We can’t, - I echoed her words.

-Sorry.

The silence after that word was so deafening that I turned around. I was alone at the cemetery. All the thoughts blended in my head. I wanted to find Alice and try to figure things out, but I didn’t know how. What could I do in this situation? I had no idea. I read the words on the grave once more and left.

February 14^th. One year later.

-Hi! - a guy said putting a bunch of peonies next to the small gravestone, - how are you? I hope you’re doing well.

He sadly took a view of the cemetery and added.

-I miss you.

Oliver visited that grave for the fiftieth time. Every week he brought flowers and asked questions in void for a couple of minutes expecting to hear an answer, but it never happened. And it didn’t matter how many times he came to the NYC, he never saw her again.