Fading Memories

Just how long do memories stay with us?

I wonder if some day you'll forgive me for forgetting you.

I still remember your warm smile,
The one that used to light up any room with an elegant glow.
It was still there, I think, the day that they found you.

And even though we may not have been so close,
I would still spend my afternoons dreaming, without end,
Of what could have been.

And on that day,
The day that they found you,
I knew things would never quite
Be the same.

And it goes without saying that,
As the hand of time moves ever forward,
Covered by shade;
It's only natural that memories fade.

I just wish that more of them had contained you.

Each time I lay on a grassy hillside,
Staring at the sky stained with grey,
I couldn't help but feel ever more blue.
At least, that is, until the day that they found you.

And on that day, swiftly and suddenly,
The whole town came to a stop.
When I finally found you, a long time later,
My heart, fragile as ever, began to race.
When I saw all of that dirt and blood
Covering your beautiful face.

I, among many others,
Fell to my knees in anguish.
The thought of you, now gone,
Made many of us not want to go on.

But that's okay.

My memories of you will last forever,
As I stand on this ledge, light as a feather.
I wonder if,
Some day,
You'll forgive me for forgetting you.

At least until the day that they find me.

Author's Note

My second completed poem! I'm planning on doing one a day, if not every other day. I hope you enjoy! Any feedback is much appreciated.

Reviews

[William Liston]

I must applaud your skills in repetition; you do it in a way that gradually increases the poem's impact. I noticed that in your author's note, you said that you wanted to do one poem a day, if not every other say. It's good to have goals like that, but remember, quality over quantity. Don't force yourself to write so many poems if they all come out as crap.

-William Liston

[Oliver Free]

Thanks again for the review. I was definitely being a bit ambitious when I said that, but my entire goal of this summer is to write as often as possible. So, probably two or three poems a week when I'm not busy. Gotta have time to research and whatnot. It's all to help strengthen my writing ability. I appreciate your support!

[Jason Dillon]

I find your writing ethereal in a good way. Almost as if the sentiment will disappear as soon as it is read. The only criticism that I might have is the usage of cliched metaphors. (light as a feather) Not the end of the world, (to use one myself) and it is a problem that I had pointed out in my own writing. It made my work better having to create a more original way of stating the same thought.

[Oliver Free]

Thank you for the critique, the metaphors are definitely an area I need to work on. I'm glad you enjoyed!

[Raylene]

Very nice Oliver love the repetition in this and we all go through this at sometime where we remember the one person we can't believe we forgot either as strong as lover or even a childhood friend love this piece Oliver.

[Oliver Free]

Thank you!

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the thoughts and places you took the reader.
"My memories of you will last forever,
As I stand on this ledge, light as a feather.
I wonder if,
Some day,
You'll forgive me for forgetting you."
Memories become our wealth in old age. We need them. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Oliver Free]

Again, thanks for the review!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Inject Positivity]

This is so touching and sad Oliver... Your poem contains really heartbreaking thoughts, and the reader can easily feel the pain and sadness of the poet throughout this poem... I loved the innocent nature of this write and the universal truth about memories that they stay in our hearts as long as we cherish them... Your love for that person stands out in this write... I will say superb work...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Oliver Free]

Thank you very much! I appreciate your review.

[Tessa Melendez]

Such a sad, sweet poem. It holds so much imagery and sensory detail. At first, I was wondering what kind of poem I was getting into, but as it went on, my thoughts changed. It was sweet, and it was cute and then it was sad. I'm still thinking about the last line and what it might mean. What did you mean by that line? "At least until the day they find me"? It is a very good piece. I applaud you.

[Oliver Free]

Thank you! As to your comment, take a closer look at the stanza before the last line, that might give you a clue. (Sorry if it's not clear enough, though.)

[Tessa Melendez]

oh ok. Got it.

[Oliver Free]

Good, I was trying to convey that without saying it outright.

[Tessa Melendez]

It's terribly sad....

[Oliver Free]

Many of my poems have been that way, I've been trying to lighten up a bit.

[Sanhorsey]

It is really nice! Enjoyed the poem. The whole poem leads up to the end, which finally has a great impact.
Keep up the great work.

[Papaya]

A tragic tale told so sombrely.
Fine writing Oliver.

[barleygirl]

This is an incredible poem (excuse me for saying this -->) from someone your age! I mean, it's so mature & subtle & powerful, I am amazed this is your second poem EVER! I love the first line becuz it's so true of human nature that we even start forgetting the people who meant so much to us. I love the line "the day that they found you" becuz it's a subtle, but powerful way to refer to something that must've been pretty tragic. Your descriptions are vivid & clear. Then the last line is once again subtle & powerful in the way it suggests that the narrator is on the edge of despair & perhaps the forgetting (in the first line) isn't about TIME, but something else altogether. This is incredible word crafting to convey a relatable message.

[Oliver Free]

Thank you so much! I really enjoy knowing that people find so much pleasure in reading my work. I'm glad you enjoyed!