Meet The Group

Introducing the characters and the school setting and all that s**t

I met up with Ganton at the front door. He's my best friend, and no matter how late I am he never goes in the school without me. He's too worried about me. He thinks I'm going to get hurt or something. He always has to check up on me whenever he can. I get that it's probably unhealthy for our relationship to be so co-dependent but in his defense, Ganton has dependent personality disorder, psychosis, and RAD. No, he's not rad, well, I guess he is, but no. He has some reactive attachment disorder. His mom was never really around as a kid, and he had to take care of himself most of the time, and I guess overtime it took a toll on his mental health. It really breaks my heart. He's such a soft boy. We became friends three years ago, in the seventh grade. I believe I'm the only person that he's ever truly emotionally bonded with. That explains his odd but cute endearing behavior. I approach with caution up behind him. He doesn't like being spooked by anyone but me. I put my hands out and quickly cover up his eyes with them. I can feel his entire body tense up as his eyelashes flutter against my palms. 

"If you're going to hurt me get on with it because I'm late for math" he chokes out.

"Gee, it's just me" I say, taking my hands off his eyes and sitting down next to him. Here we were, sat on a bench outside the school, thirty minutes late but still not worried.

"Goddammit Donnie. F**k you, I've been here for an hour already."

"No, f**k you, you know it's Friday."

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot today's the day you see your mom." 

We sit in silence for another seven minutes, just enjoying each others company on the cold wooden bench. Finally I speak up,

"Wanna go inside now, Gee?" 

"Sure"

We make our way nonchalantly to the office to collect our late passes and head to first class. I pass him a note on my way to astronomy.

Ganton, 

I hope your day goes fantastic. Let me know how you're feeling sometime today. Shanna is going to be in fourth class today, so that's cool. If you need to calm down or something, you know where to find me.

Regards, Donnie

As I made my way to class I stopped and looked around. I felt so out of my own body. I felt like I was being attacked and chased. Hunted was more like it. Standing in the empty hallway had suddenly become a cave full of hungry eyes all feeding on my vulnerability. Suddenly there was a whisper coming from what seemed like everywhere.

"She's dead Donatello, and it's all you're f*****g fault."

I could hear something. It sounded muffled by water but I knew it was just my panic attack.

"Donnie? Donnie, are you okay?"

"What?" I was suddenly aware of everything all at once. Like the whole world just started moving again after standing still for twenty minutes. The person talking to me, or at least what I could make out of them, felt like Shanna. I noticed her tall, tan, silhouette coming down the stairs in front of me. 

"Donnie can you hear me?" 

"Oh, yes, sorry Shanna" I reassured her.

"Did you have another episode? I can skip class if you need me to, I can afford to miss English."

"No hun, I-I'm fine"

"Alright, here" she passed me a note and hurried to class. I ducked under the stairs and unfolded the note.

Donnie,

How are you? I worry about you. How are things with your mom? How are things with Ganton? I'm always here to talk dude. Also, good luck in calc today, dude. Hope you get a sub. If you do, sneak out and meet me in the library. 

xoxo, Shanna

On the inside of the note was a cigarette taped to the bottom of the page. I taped one to Gee's note. And I'm positive he taped one to Shanna's note. Too bad Ash and Leslie aren't here, I think to myself. They would have gotten great notes.

I scan the note once more before putting it in the front pocket of my backpack. I have a small Tupperware container hidden underneath the sweatshirt in my bag. I open it revealing sixteen unlit, not yet smoked, cigs. "Only four more until I can fill my pack" I whispered. I placed the cigarette in the container and headed to class. This is the part where I explain the cigarettes. Im eighth grade Ash made a point of saying how "boring buying and smoking their cigarettes was". And even though they wanted to keep smoking, they wanted to try something. Everyday we would hand off a note to someone in our group going counterclockwise in the friendship circle. At the end of each note we'd tape one of our cigarettes to the bottom of the note. If we got to twenty, we would be able to refill the pack. We'd have five different types of cigarettes in that one pack. But the best part, Ash would say, was that you always knew you were smoking someone else's cigarette. And the thing has just become a thing now. Even now that they're gone. We do it for them because that's what they would've wanted. Most definitely. 

When I finally get to class, class is almost over. Whatever, I couldn't care less about that bitchass astronomy teacher anyway. It's like she has it out for me or something just because I have family issues. Not everyone can come from a perfect home life, Caryn. 

"Hey, you showed up"

"Welcome to class"

"Where even were you?"

I can hear the comments but I disregard the faces making them. I march proudly up to Mrs. Caryn "rude b***h" Bing and give her my late note. 

"Would you like to see me after school to get your missed work, Donatello?" 

"No" I replied.

"Yes, he would. I'll make sure he gets it Mrs.Bing" a voice cuts in from the row of students. I look over to see my cousin Finney glancing at me and then the teacher. 

"Very well" Mrs.Bing said, clearly exasperated. I took my seat next to Finney. She passed me a note. On the paper it read,

why were you so late?

Mi mama

oh. sorry

whatever

how are you?

fine

I know you're not

okay

this isn't over

She folded the paper up and stuck it into her folder. Finney has always been like an older sister of mine. Sometimes I enjoy her, and others I don't. Oh, the joys of siblings, am I right? I tuned out the rest of class because of my episode earlier. It was too hard for me to focus with so much on my mind. The only thing I heard was the bell indicating it was time to go to second class. As I was walking out Finney grabbed my arm.

"Hello, Donnie?"

"Hey Finn" I replied, knowing full well I was about to get yelled at, but acting as innocent as humanly possible, for me, anyway.

"What the hell was that?"

"I sense hostility"

"Stop f*****g around, Donnie. You and I both know this is not how your mom would have wanted you to behave."

"Who the f**k made you a police officer or something?" I snapped back.

"I can't believe you. I'll meet you at your locker directly after school, Donnie"

"Whatever, Finney" I said while walking away from her. I love her she is just always up my a*s for nothing. Pisses me off. I don't have to talk about my feelings. They won't magically go away if I do, so why poke the f**k out of a wound and damage it more? It's asinine, in my opinion. I knew they all meant well. I just wish they understood. I can take care of my f*****g self, okay?

I stared at the clock holding my breath, waiting for the twelve to align with three. I needed to be home by three-thirty. If I wasn't I'd miss the run and I'd be in serious trouble. I knew what running with Sangre Negra meant. But I didn't acknowledge it. All I did was distract the pharmacist while Luca and the other guys held up the delivery guy. I never went back there, but I always saw the aftermath of an unsuccessful run. Lots of blood. I don't like being in the life. After mi mama was shot in a gang crossfire a year and a half ago, I knew it was the only way I could stay alive in this town. I lived in Hobbs, New Mexico. You could say it's rough here. Especially the projects. Mi familia was struggling to make ends meet, let alone live comfortably and safely.

I was the first one out of the school when the bell rang. F**k a Mrs.Bing. Once I got a safe distance away from the school I pulled my phone out and dialed Luca's number. I was hoping Ganton had forgotten to look for me but it was unlikely. I loved him, he's my best friend, but if he knew what I've been doing he'd probably have a panic attack so bad he'd die from it. 

I put the phone up to my ear and it starts ringing. Luca picks up the phone.

"Donnie boy, I've been waiting for your call. Why don't you hurry on over we've got some....business to discuss."

I unfortunately knew what that meant. 

"Oh, okay, I'll be there in ten" I hung up the phone. I hated doing runs. Why couldn't I just puppyguard our house like Trey or make everyone snacks like a gang den mother or something? If I wanted to stay alive-which I did- then this was the price I paid. 

Author's Note

Yes, I understand the Spanish grammatical errors lmao