Not A Love Song

A song I wrote, or whatever

Hey I know it’s midnight, I know it’s really late

There’s just some things I need to say to you

I feel like I’m going out of my f*****g head

I can’t seem to get my s**t together

Sometimes I stare at the sky and wonder

If you’ve noticed that I never stopped loving you

Sometimes I wonder if you even ever loved me too

Tonight I want to forget

Everything you made me feel

I want to wash away love

Get drunk, get stoned

Until I can’t feel a thing anymore

I don’t want to feel

Or remember how much I loved you

I want to forget your eyes

You’re beautiful face

Etched in my memory

I wish I could wash it all away

It’s 2 AM and I’m all alone

I’m in the little park

Where we used to go

I’m looking at the stars

Smoking a cigarette in the dark

I quit a year ago but what’s the use?

I only quit for you

Now I’m on my last smoke

Maybe I’ll go try some coke

I have nothing to lose

Nothing to love

I pack my empty cigarette box with flowers

My death will be long and beautiful

I hope you know, I don’t blame you

I’m just trying to push on through

Tonight I want to forget

Everything you made me feel

I want to wash away love

Get drunk, get stoned

Until I can’t feel a thing anymore

I don’t want to feel

Or remember how much you loved me

How could you love a sinner in disguise?

But still I miss the screaming silence in your eyes

And god, I wish this ended different

I guess it wasn’t meant to be

I guess this life isn’t the one that’s meant for me

I hope you’re very happy

Don’t take this the wrong way

I just hope I never remember your name

I hope I can wash away

Everything you left in me

Reviews

[Seriana]

When love ends, the feelings are very raw, hurtful and full of an unimaginable pain. Sometimes a release in the form of throwing up those words is the only things that helps. I can feel all of your angst here. Truly an honest write. :)

[Oliver Lee]

Thank you, I truly just threw up everything inside of me, I didn't even read what I was writing until completely after. I just broke up with the love of my life, after 2 and a half years of being together and getting attached to them; their laugh, their smile, their little quirks and flaws. I loved them for all they were. This is kind of how I'm getting by, I guess.

[Seriana]

I understand. I went through something similar a few years back. This is a pretty accurate description of those feelings. It is a process. Painful, but the ability to express those emotions through poetry is so powerful in the healing process. May you find peace in it.