Feeling it

It happened one night.

When I saw you   I knew

 

You had that look  The look that said yes

 

We had only been friends  This now changed

 

My mouth went dry   Your heart pounded

 

You smiled so sweet   My eyes so bright

 

I walked to you   You stood your space

 

You appeared unsure   My breathing was not

 

I sized you up   The momentum moved us

 

You stood in your area   The game was on

 

I touched your face   You didn't flinch

 

You looked up   I could hear your heart

 

You smiled sweetly   I kissed your lips

 

We knew

Reviews

[Marlena]

I love the breaks in the lines, like between "You smiled sweetly" and "I kissed your lips". I got a kind of rushed, unsure feeling from this, but that doesn't mean it's not written well or anything, that's just the tone I got. I liked it, though. Very sweet. :3

[Elaina D.]

Sometimes it just happens like this...We all love the little shocks that play across our skin the first time our hands touch !

I loved it !!!!!

[J.Black]

I love how you ended it: "we knew" ... it's perfect. It's perfect because sometimes you don't have to say anything at all, when two people have a connect, it just happens.

[c.m.]

This is very nice. I, too, like the breaks in the lines, and the words are pure magic. A sweet, lovely piece.

[Sunni Davis]

I love the last few lines "You looked up I could hear your heart, You smiled sweetly I kissed your lips, We Knew" Its that what drives us, what connects us to another person? That is what we're all looking for, the connection and the knowing. Great job!

[MichelleClay]

very nice :)

[Stef Outsiders]

Love it!!!

[LA Lorena]

ah, fine depiction! the kiss, that first kiss is so telling. you portray that well with this piece. Nicely done Steve-O