I think your view on the dysfunction and breakdown of our societal responsibilities when it comes to complacency and respect is well-received. Personal heroes are our own souls these days, and unless something interrupts or intercepts that false cover of safety, they all react with a curious fervor that is unfamiliar in these new times!! What a smart and introspective piece that examines the world around and our place in this "new" age of sorts. Who am I to say, though. lol I never even graduated High school. I just soak up stuff and take notice of how the world reacts to itself!! : ) I told a friend on here, a while back, if something could see us from space....... we would look like a bunch of angry bacteria chomping on a Blueberry. : ) xoxo -Mark
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you very much! You really understood what I was hoping to portray :D
I think your view on the dysfunction and breakdown of our societal responsibilities when it comes to complacency and respect is well-received. Personal heroes are our own souls these days, and unless something interrupts or intercepts that false cover of safety, they all react with a curious fervor that is unfamiliar in these new times!! What a smart and introspective piece that examines the world around and our place in this "new" age of sorts. Who am I to say, though. lol I never even graduated High school. I just soak up stuff and take notice of how the world reacts to itself!! : ) I told a friend on here, a while back, if something could see us from space....... we would look like a bunch of angry bacteria chomping on a Blueberry. : ) xoxo -Mark
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you very much! You really understood what I was hoping to portray :D
I suggest that you change "silence" to "bliss." It reads smoother and both words are tied together so closely that their practically interchangeable in this poem.
No, your ideas aren't coming across clearly. But that's alright- I enjoyed it anyway. It still conjured images in my mind, so in that regard, you've succeeded.
When I first read the word "polis", I had to look it up. At first, I thought you meant "police", because I just read "Filth" by Irvine Welsh (a Scot), and he uses "polis" as a phonetic translation of the word "police".
I've been a student of film and fashion design, dabbled in creative writing, fine art, philosophy, and psychology, but am currently between universities. I will always be a patron of anything artistic.. more..