Final Words

This was in response to the prompt, "What would your final words be?"

We are beasts

in this naturalized,

hyperbolized

polis;

 

an ungodly waste

of human capacity.

 

We entertain,

we smack our lips

on the culturally sterile.

 

I am a goddess

of my soul’s wit,

devoid of personality.

 

I’ve a plot reserved--

a place in Paradise

 

where silence

is the new ignorance.

Author's Note

Are my ideas coming across clearly?

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

I think your view on the dysfunction and breakdown of our societal responsibilities when it comes to complacency and respect is well-received. Personal heroes are our own souls these days, and unless something interrupts or intercepts that false cover of safety, they all react with a curious fervor that is unfamiliar in these new times!! What a smart and introspective piece that examines the world around and our place in this "new" age of sorts. Who am I to say, though. lol I never even graduated High school. I just soak up stuff and take notice of how the world reacts to itself!! : ) I told a friend on here, a while back, if something could see us from space....... we would look like a bunch of angry bacteria chomping on a Blueberry. : ) xoxo -Mark

[Meghan]

Thank you very much! You really understood what I was hoping to portray :D

[rnuff]

Wow such strength in words, & deepness.
I found this to be intriguing.
Fancinating last four lines.
Awesome write.

[Ban Heo]

I suggest that you change "silence" to "bliss." It reads smoother and both words are tied together so closely that their practically interchangeable in this poem.

[joshua deathdealer]

Nice vocab and I think your presentation is fine. Well done.

[Rasputin]

No, your ideas aren't coming across clearly. But that's alright- I enjoyed it anyway. It still conjured images in my mind, so in that regard, you've succeeded.

When I first read the word "polis", I had to look it up. At first, I thought you meant "police", because I just read "Filth" by Irvine Welsh (a Scot), and he uses "polis" as a phonetic translation of the word "police".

[Lucien Maier]

good flow, outstanding vocabulary!

[koty bell]

awesome write loved every minute of it:)

[kidd x]

I like what you have to say here. Nice thoughts