Pieces

A poem, about pieces of things that get all smushed up together

It was broken

Into pieces that fit together perfectly

I didn't move them

Or mend them to my own patchwork wounds.

I didn't paint this post-modern mess

With straight circles

They dislodged between lines

And silence,

Amongst the void between letters;

Reluctant

And relieved.

The pieces rolled off our tongues

Whispering

Screeching for sorrow in our spit.

I unfolded our tea sealed pages

through the dream that I had once,

Of all the dreams I've dreamt

My feathers would bring me 

Author's Note

UNFINISHED?

Reviews

[chandlerl]

I really liked the imagery of this PIECE. HA...see what I did there? No, but really, I did. Your choice of words and their opposites are interesting. Broken- pieces fit perfectly/ straight-circles/reluctant- relieved/ whispering-screeching/
It does seem a little unfinished. If you add anything to it message me so I can read it again.

[Ohhhwillow]

ive been our of touch with my writing, and this totally lifted me up! Thank you! I will have a look to see if a better end can be met. ☺️

[m.s.early]

This line:

The pieces rolled off our tongues
Whispering
Screeching for sorrow in our spit.

I can not explain why this makes sense to me. It is not a complete sentence but it is a complete thought in some weird magical way.

I'm not sure I knew how to "screech" for something until now.

Poetry that can reinvent language is unique. Kudos.

[Ohhhwillow]

You know, this is a part I tousled with perhaps more than the rest - I just wasn't convinced that it worked..

But you are not the first to express it as a highlight!

Thank you for your interesting review, and inbox me some work you would like to have reviewed if you get the chance!

Willow

[I Shred This Cabbage]

you can feel the construction of this poem, its very natural yet precise. truly poetic in the way it seems to effortless fit. love the phrase our tea sealed pages....so much romance woven in! :)

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you Johnny! I wanted to write something romantic, with subtlety, which I know is extremely difficult! I relieved that it was conveyed.

Thanks for reading!

[I Shred This Cabbage]

np :) and good work!

[Trace]

I really love the way you write.
You pull thoughts together with very succinct and intriguing
Words that make me want to read you more.

Such vivid imagery.

Greatly enjoyed.
Trace.

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you Trace! You are always very kind.

Willow

[Chris]

isn't everything ever?

like a coffee moment in a cafe`.

[Ohhhwillow]

I don't know, maybe you are right..

Thanks for reading

[Chris]

welcome...