Treachery tickles me,
Though it's not mine to feel.
In a looking-glass I conceal your red tape murder,
And the reflection of emerald disposition.
Paradox prevails in your morality.
A crystal skull lying in the lap of it's lovers bones
Is fateful at best
To the wicked that rest
With ears held on by adhesive only.
Truth is the tale not told at birth,
Caressed in corpses
For it's painful worth
That's sceptre held a flame of fallen embers.
Your layers pave a broken path,
A masochistic aftermath
With means to a plunge of distortion.
Cruel remorse is a gift when secrets go unmade -
An honest story steals the day ahead with a hurricane.
Rain is forecast by a torched stomach
And the stars stay veiled
By flinching remains of your lustful lullaby
That reassigns the map I made,
Once upon a time
A poet who simply writes what is in her mind doesn't write rusty. Although, there is the saying "you rest,you rust". But it doesn't really apply in all situations.
Coming to the poem itself, the portrayal of truth as such a tragedy is well understood. Though in my view, it's not only truth being said but about reality itself being a painful mystery compared to fiction. Though, that view was only made by my understanding and own realizations. I don't really know if you meant it. Also your imagery and symbolism is quite exquisite, it took me a while to completely understand this poem.
I can sympathize a lot about the message on truth portrayed in this poem, but through different realizations and experiences. I find this magnificent in its meaning and beautiful in its abstract imagery. Wonderful piece.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
That is exactly what I was trying to portray, I'm glad you grasped it clearly! And I'm sure you can .. read moreThat is exactly what I was trying to portray, I'm glad you grasped it clearly! And I'm sure you can tell by my inability to write realistically, instead playing with things in a fantastical style, that I find reality much harder to capture. Thanks for reading
A poet who simply writes what is in her mind doesn't write rusty. Although, there is the saying "you rest,you rust". But it doesn't really apply in all situations.
Coming to the poem itself, the portrayal of truth as such a tragedy is well understood. Though in my view, it's not only truth being said but about reality itself being a painful mystery compared to fiction. Though, that view was only made by my understanding and own realizations. I don't really know if you meant it. Also your imagery and symbolism is quite exquisite, it took me a while to completely understand this poem.
I can sympathize a lot about the message on truth portrayed in this poem, but through different realizations and experiences. I find this magnificent in its meaning and beautiful in its abstract imagery. Wonderful piece.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
That is exactly what I was trying to portray, I'm glad you grasped it clearly! And I'm sure you can .. read moreThat is exactly what I was trying to portray, I'm glad you grasped it clearly! And I'm sure you can tell by my inability to write realistically, instead playing with things in a fantastical style, that I find reality much harder to capture. Thanks for reading
Outstanding, not rusty at all...tells a story of deceit breach of trust and cover ups.
A crystal skull lying in the lap of it's lovers bones
That in itself is a poem....lovely, I have to wonder is this has to do with abuse, or is it just where my mindset goes. 'Lustful lullaby' makes me wonder.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I'm glad you still enjoyed this Frieda. It's more about mental beating and emotional pain than any p.. read moreI'm glad you still enjoyed this Frieda. It's more about mental beating and emotional pain than any physical abuse, but I can see how you made that connection!
Awesome! I like the abstraction- it's really interesting to move from image to image and try to figure it out as you're going. It also suits the kinda relativistic theme of the poem.
"Teachery" treachery? "massochistic" masochistic?
just the two spelling mistakes, I found. Even rusty, your writing is superb, your imagery exquisite. Definitely got that Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull vibe, so it ain't just Tai(:
love it hun
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you for pointing out my careless mistakes Lina, and remind me never to post when I've just wok.. read moreThank you for pointing out my careless mistakes Lina, and remind me never to post when I've just woken up! I do love a bit of Indiana Jones, glad you enjoyed this and thank you for reviewing! :)
11 Years Ago
lol remember: do not post writing if you've just woken up! :)
your welcome hun. anytime.
A really good piece as usual, just some typing errors in there. A crystal skull lying in the lap of it's lovers bones/Is fateful at best/To the wicked that rest/With ears held on by adhesive only. A really good verse, I love the necromantic imagery.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you Luke, I typed it up in the morning so will run over it and hopefully fix that. Glad you en.. read moreThank you Luke, I typed it up in the morning so will run over it and hopefully fix that. Glad you enjoyed this :)
11 Years Ago
No problem, and I did. Makes it a good pasttime :)
Write it down and read it
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Twitter: @H0ly_FUCKer
'Let me sometimes dance
With you,
Or climb,
Or stand perchance
In ecstasy,
Fixed and free
In a rhym.. more..