Rotten Diamonds

27/4/13 I wrote this with the thought in mind of our split spirit, with intent to explore our broken and beautiful layers, that create an uncertain future. An untameable snake buried within us all

I dropped an apple from the sky
That split like rotten diamonds,
That cried;
As the man at the empty alter,
As the baby playing with perfume.

Noxious thoughts hide in all seraphic smiles,
But show long enough for us to know
That poisoned spittle,
And severed truths,
Sleep in the keep
Of Holy sprites.

A stained canvas
And twisted rose still behold the promise of dancing means
To a fateful death.
A butterfly filled breath,
That strokes with a skeleton wing.

Intrinsic thorns breach the flesh of an angel
And the cherubs arrow will strike our eyes
Leaving dampened cheeks
Like sand after the tide.

We are without immunity to imperfection,
To fickle faults
And scars like damaged silverware.

Petals wither and leaves decay,
Tomorrow will bring whatever may come of bruised soles.

While the day, it bathes in spirit
Battered and beautiful

Author's Note

This is a redraft! Thank you for reading :)

Reviews

[Alex Roy]

The imagery, the flow...just everything fits so well. The tittle is perfect for it, it was the first that captured my eye when I found your page. I'm most definitely reading more! "Intrinsic thorns breach the flesh of an angel", really like the way that sounds too.

If I had to describe it in one word....captivating: "to attract and hold the attention or interest of, as by beauty or excellence; enchant." Of course you know what it means, but the definition seemed perfect to explain.
If you could drop by my page and give me a review tell me what you think, it's my first attempt at anything like this but don't hold back critism! You've got a talent, explore it.

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you for your detained, kind review! My request box is overflowing with requests as I've been too use lately to respond - if you inbox me a poem you'd like me to read,I will more than likely give you the response I'm sure you deserve. :)

[Tai Ryens]

"A butterfly filled breath,
That strokes with a skeleton wing.
Intrinsic thorns breach the flesh of an angel
And the cherubs arrow will strike our eyes "

Priceless.
Perhaps you speak of the root of evil in every merit? For what action comes without pay; generosity is rewarded with the feeling of bliss; and I still view it as an action of greed. Well done. I missed your poetry.

[Ohhhwillow]

Rhis is certainly one reading Tai, I'm glad you can see this. In fact what's strange is I often see this too - and wonder if generosity, and charity is a selfish act we commit in order to satisfy our own ego. If we are all fundamentally selfish. The primary focus of this was to bring to light that everything has its concequences, in everything of the world, good and bad can arrise. We are not to be fooled by gold nor beauty. Thank you Tai, I always love your in depth reviews!

[Tarry Franck]

Very nice piece - enjoyed it so much

[Baby Ricochet]

"Split like rotten diamonds" that's an awesome metaphor. That's what I love about your poetry Willow. It's in a language I don't quite understand but it's captivating to read all the same. My work is so literal most of the time so it's nice to read someone who can paint lovely absracts with words the way you do. Outstanding work young lady.

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you Mark, that means a lot to me. Our writing so different, and it makes me happy to know I can reach out even to those with different personal styles! Similarly, I enjoy your writing as you have the ability to say a lot through very little, sometimes I feel it takes me a mountian of crazy words before I convey what I want to! Anyway, your review has made my day, thank you again :)

[realmwriter]

Really awesome work man... Very cool

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you realwriter! :)

[realmwriter]

Your Welcome...!

[quinfinn]

dear willow, where do you find these words? this is pure butter, solid gold and everything beauty knows all in some simple, yet exquisite verse! you amaze me, i bow to your graceful pen and your poetic soul....awesome!

[Ohhhwillow]

And I bow to your kindness great friend, for appreciating my discreet contributions to the world of literature. :)THANK YOU Quin, always happy to hear of you satisfaction, it is most reassuring from a writer of your standards!

[quinfinn]

i am not a great writer, i write some decent things....from attrition and a long life , but you....so good at your youthful station, awesome!

[Frieda P]

This has layers of insanely gorgeous metaphors that just sing. I can't pick one line, I'm in love with this entire work word for word.

A butterfly filled breath,
That strokes with a skeleton wing.

You know that I can't leave without addressing the butterfly, it always affects me, and this spoke volumes to me. I should read this a dozen times and come away more enlightened than the last. Gorgeous read Willow.

[Ohhhwillow]

I am smiling at your attraction to the image of butterflies, they're so beautiful from a far, I have to say under a microscope I am far less dazzled by their bright colours.. But even since I was tiny I've related them with my good and bad anxieties, with passionate feelings and those of fear! Funny really. I'm really glad you enjoyed this Frieda, your view is always very valid to me!

[Frieda P]

My pleasure Willow, I love your titles, this one sings, and tells a story in and of itself, nothing is as it seems, our entire life is made up of cracks of light and dark...

[Tricia O'Brien]

This is dope. I read it a few times over, nice lines

[Ohhhwillow]

Thanks!