Vanished Puddle

25/7/12 The people in our lives come and go and it's hard to know where intentions lie, sometimes you have to let them go like fallen flowers in the wind, sometimes they stick around

At dawn they bounce.
Translucent,
Vitreous like fractured glass from the sky.
Laced in sublimity,
These beads we cannot hold but shelter from for comfort
Fall and fade away,
As companions past and yet to follow.

Once Messiahs gift;
An aid of an ear.
Now forgetting to hear
As He has His children below,
On their knees.

Softer than silk touch of fingers parting,
And descending smiles in summers breeze,
That gentle blade of empathy in ravens veins
Stabs sweeter with compassion.
That cut, serene as its installers first intention is temporary.
It's removal rips like stitches on their unkept lips,
Through flesh caressed it tears.

And then there is relief,
From the departed who fell like death without His wings,
Another scar,
Another drop in a vanished puddle.

Reviews

[Dana Alsamsam]

this whole piece seemed to reflect of bitterness, insignificance and a feeling of being invisible. the pain here was tangible and your images here are lovely! i particularly enjoyed these lines:
"Softer than silk touch of fingers parting,
And descending smiles in summers breeze,
That gentle blade of empathy in ravens veins
Stabs sweeter with compassion."
i absolutely love the image of the raven and how you pull it through. great work here!

[Ohhhwillow]

I definitely wrote this during a feeling of great pain, and while it is all in the past, I'm glad the intensity of my melancholy is clear, and still enjoying to my readers, that is great to hear! Thank you Dana, your reviews are always far too kind!

[MandaBear]

Really deep and meaningful write. I think this should be submitted into someone that could make it back. You are an amazing writer!

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you Amanda!

[KeeD]

This was indeed a really deep and meaningful write. I'm fascinated by it

[Horizon K.]

This one was simply lovely Willow. It's removal rips like stitches... The departed who fell like death....
I have to say this one went deep, unearthing some feelings I have from past hurts of losing ones who had promised to be there forever... Melancholy yet inspiring... I have my own poem to write now...
Thank you for this.

[Ohhhwillow]

I'm glad I could provide you with some fuel for writing with, I think we all feel a little betrayed along the way, perhaps it makes us better writers as well as better judges of character, who knows!

[Tarry Franck]

A great piece: Beauty and sadness Enjoyed reading it.

[Ohhhwillow]

I was aiming for a sort of sadness in atmosphere here, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[I, Rene]

love these lines:
1.) Translucent, vitreous like fractured glass from the sky.
Laced in sublimity these beads we cannot hold
2.) Softer than silk touch of fingers parting and descending smiles in summer breeze That gentle blade of empathy in ravens veins stabs sweeter with compassion.

just wonderful use of phrase and metaphor, a great write Willow

[Ohhhwillow]

Thanks again for your review! :)

[RachelReaper]

very deep and had a lot of really great metaphors. Beautiful and sad at the same time, wonderful write.

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you again Rachel! :)

[s y e]

Really well written. Well done. Beautiful,

[Ohhhwillow]

This was quite a while ago, so I'm pleased you still feel it has merit!

[Kyle Sky]

Simply beautiful. I love the meaning, the athmosphere and the figurative language created by the words. Great piece.

[Dark Butterfly]

thats great, i love its meaning and your writting style!

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you!