The infuriating cycle of wanting and disgust within my own
being is slowing clawing at my sanity and making it impossible for me to
function in this world that I live in.
Beauty to behold is held captive by distance and
self-promises, taunting my mind and body with unattainable possibility. The
unknown subject is merely a reminder of the steps I have taken in the last
fiscal year to improve my soul and yet... Yet she taints it with the imagery
and lust that I have been suppressing.
I yearn for contact the way a vampire desires blood;
instinctively. Fire defines my blood and now that rage is beginning to manifest
itself into my entire form. The fidgeting, tireless form that seems to be my
being is merely masking the truth of unrest. Animalistic need is pure and raw;
the monster within me to an embarrassing degree makes me feel like a deviant
under scrutiny of my own conscious.
Break me and take me. Prove to me that control is not mine
with force. Respect the demon in my soul and allow it the opportunity to come
to the surface, if only for the dead of night.