Acid

Acid

A Poem by Chloe

Sing the song of willows

Let the pain begin to fade

Allow the fake relief to take over

The mind sets into content

 

Let the numbness begin to fade

Feel the air leave the lungs

The jasmine scent no longer appealing

Panic arrives, as fast as the poison

 

Copper invades the senses

Pain too great to express

Minds become hazy with confusion

The cure becomes the killer

 

Sing the song of willows

Let the pain begin to fade

© 2013 Chloe


Author's Note

Chloe
Comment as you please.

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Reviews

An excellent piece. Third stanza is more appealing. My became hazy with confusion, I think the placement of this stanza should be at the beginning.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like this, it makes so much... What's the word? uh, Sense. And it has a meaning.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is mesmerizing and familiar, yet your riddle escapes me. nicely written, perfectly formatted and compelling. but the mind goes many places to unlock your riddle, which means that this poem is a huge success. a true riddle must never be unlocked...left to individual interpretation. terrific write!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

What is the answer to the riddle? jasmine scent that has me thinking but I draw a blank. What is poison and jasmine scent, well all I can think of is my Ex girlfriend yup she likes to give pain out. :)

Interesting write and nice little riddle to boot.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pleasantly different--and so well done. Appreciate the quirk as well as the craft.
Yours is a unique voice.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oooo...favorited.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

what an intricate sphere~ a coil of thought unspooling in the reader's mind~

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I learned something new here. I did not know that willow trees were used for this purpose............excellent piece!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh I love it :D

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

loooved this! (:

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Stats

1119 Views
31 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 5, 2011
Last Updated on June 28, 2013
Tags: Medical, Riddle, Nature, Death

Author

Chloe
Chloe

Forest Hills, NY



About
I'm a down to earth young woman who happens to love the art of the quill. more..

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A Poem by Chloe


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A Poem by Chloe


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A Poem by Chloe