#21

I am okay.

Most of the time.

I have my days.

Where I am doing just fine.

But then I think of you.

And I instantly lose control.

The tears start to fall.

The pain is unbearable.

I don’t know what to do.

This clearly is not right.

But I can’t tell my heart that.

My heart just wants to fight

Reviews

[Ryan]

Awesome! I really like your line break up and it has pretty nice flow. Maybe consider more rhyme to add more flow and in poems like this alliteration can make the piece a lot better. I really like the line, "But I can't tell my heart that. My heart just wants to fight." So poetic and paints a great picture in my mind. So great job and keep up the good writing!

[The Girl Who Loved Too Much]

Thank you, Ryan. I appreciate that you took the time to read and comment on this.

[zephyr]

But I can’t tell my heart that.

My heart just wants to fight

Tell me about it … great one.

[The Girl Who Loved Too Much]

Stupid heart! :) Thanks for the comment!