364 days.

It was kind of funny how we met. Through a friend of a friend, we just happened to be together all at the same place at the same time. When we met our introductions were brief, he says when he first met me he thought I was beautiful but I was intimidating. I thought he was cute, in a childish nerdy kind of way. I never pictured him as someone I'd date. We started spending time together because of our friends and soon we became friends. We started spending time together, alone, just me and him. Then slowly our other friends didn't exist as a reason to talk to each other. On November 5th at 11:23 after a brief fight he asked me a question. 

11:22- "So what does that make us?"

11:22- "Maybe you should be asking a different question"

11:23- "Would you do me the honour of being my girlfriend?" and like that we were a couple. It was nice at first in the honeymoon stage. We did a lot together and appreciated each other. We made the holidays special for one another and neither of us felt left out in the relationship. On New Years we spent time watching some of the cheesiest romance movies ever, but somehow we both enjoyed it thoroughly. We were happy. He made me happy. He remembered the little things, he always asked how my day went, he let me complain and when I wanted to sit in silence we did, he never failed to be there for me. I was happy.

I soon began experiencing something that had never happened to me. Something that was completely new and unfortunate. I started getting a hormonal depression which happened once around the same time in a month and even now it's hard to explain how I felt. But he seemed to know. He could tell every month the day that it hit just from a single facial expression, or text. He answered the phone every time I called him even though it was 3am most times. He made up a code word to use for it so I wouldn't have to say I was depressed. He would even check in with my mom periodically and she with him to see if I was doing alright. I was going through it but he was just as affected and he did everything in his power to make me happy. After lots of medication and finding a cause to the problem it all passed and he acted like it never happened, like I was a normal person after I felt like some sort of extra terrestrial. But I was happy.

Valentines day came and it was the first time I didn't spend it alone, he gave me a box with all my favorite things and I was happy.

In April we began to struggle a bit, I lost interest in talking or even being around him and so our time together was silent and boring, it lessened down and just felt like it didn't exist really. We fought more then ever and when we didn't fight, we communicated without words but instead with our bodies. It was a really silent time but he insisted we talk it out instead of leaving every time something goes wrong and when I started to listen everything became okay again. I was happy. 

We went out more, and spent more time together the more summer approached. We were happy and his family liked me and my family liked him and we were at a good standstill. We were happy and I was happy. 

In August, we went on a short road trip to Ohio, in the middle of no where special and had a fantastic time in which our families bonded and we became more in tune to each others bodies. We went to the zoo and saw all of my favorite animals and all of his and we went to a mall to go shopping and we criticized each others choice in dress, but all for fun and games. We had a great time, probably one of the best I'd ever had with him and I was so happy. 

In September, I became preoccupied with school, my friends and work. We talked less and he hardly became a thought in my mind. Other guys became interested and so he thought I was interested in them as well. He reached out to me and I saw him as pathetic and told him to get over it. In October, friends were a big part of my life and the only reason me and him talked was to watch movies, or do anything that didn't actual involve talking. Just anything to fill the silence. I started talking to the friend who connected us and he opened up to me after everyone thought he would never. I wasn't so happy.

On November 4th, at 5:46 P.M. I ended it. It was over just like that. I felt kind of free, and not so held down like I had before. I was happy and thought I had conquered my fear of commitment and love. I proved to myself I didn't need it.

On December 21st, he stopped talking to me because he had thought through a series of misinterpreted sentences that I had cheated on him. We lost all contact. I didn't feel too happy. I spent Christmas without him, and New Years he spent with a different girl. The New Year began and my heart seemed to stop. I wrote out all of my frustration. There was a lot of change without him. No one to ask me how my day was, no one who could remind me of things I forget, no one to just be there when I needed someone. I feltzai alone, because, Well, I was alone and I had no one to blame but myself. I didn't know it would feel this way. I ached but I hated myself for being so pathetic and tried to ignore it. That was it. Three hundred and sixty four days with him. One day short of a year. 364 days and now I'm okay.