Chapter 3

I swung my feet over and landed gently on the padded rug that rested on the hard wood floors. I tiptoed as silently as I possibly could with my handicap. My heart was beating erratically as I did my hardest to not get caught. How long have I been drowning within self-sympathy?

My hands wandered aimlessly against the walls, and my feet dragged on to every corridor that I found. I couldn’t remember which way to go. Horrified, I turned my head, realizing that I was at an utmost loss of where I was going. I tensed my shoulders uncomfortably and whispered anything that could keep me calm.

Scared, I fell down on my knees and my arms hugged my freezing body. My eyes began to water as I stifled them back. I didn’t want to be weak.

I lost the fierce battle, for teardrops sprouted and trickled down my cheeks and chin. I heard the soft pattering of my tears. I thought that I’d never release these remnants of sorrow ever again. I thought I swore to it.

Absentmindedly, I continued to whimper. I could make out my words as ‘Mason, Mason’ but I wasn’t sure, and I couldn’t stop. My toes and fingers grew numb as I felt colder and colder. Why is this happening?

“Hello? Who’s there?” I thought that I dreamt his deep voice, but I soon found it real. His voice resonated through the bare hallway. The chill immediately left my body as I found his hand touching my shoulder. As if on instinct, my arms wrapped around his shoulders and my head snuggled against the crook of his neck.

It felt so right.

I smiled serenely. The windows of my soul closed in the most pleasant way. Soundly, I fell asleep. Asleep to the up and downs of his chest and the drums of his heartbeat that I missed so much.

My head lulled in a small daze as I outstretched my hand to the side, hoping to find Mason’s chest. The bed was bare. I didn’t know why, but I became scared. Every ounce of my body felt as if needles had stabbed it. I felt for some anomalous reason betrayed. I felt it as atrocious treason, yet I knew that it was not.

Subconsciously, I chewed at my lip. What happened yesterday? I couldn’t remember. All I knew was the security of his arms and then my body shut down into a beautiful serenity. Slowly pushing myself up, I remained in a sitting position. I didn’t know what overcame me, but my body lusted for more. It lusted for the passion to be with Mason. I desired to be in his arms. That’s where I belonged.

“Hey. I got you some breakfast. Feel hungry?” There was his charming voice once more. The voice that I fell in love with. Deliberately, I nodded my head feeling my stomach grumbling. I didn’t even notice how famished I was.

I felt his hand taking mine. Our souls intertwined and molded with each other, much better than before. I felt a small plastic bowl against the palm of my hand. I wrapped my fingers around it. His fingertips still on mine, he reached for my other hand and directed it to the ceramic spoon. I scooped up some of its contents and placed it against my chapped lips.

Wonton soup. It tasted amazing. There was no other way to describe it. I savored the delectable taste and was tempted to just gulp the entire bowl down.

I felt so vulnerable. I still wasn’t used to having to depend on somebody other than myself. It made me feel exposed to any danger when he is not with me. Wistfully, my fingertips softly pressed against the walls of my room and trailed to the cold glass of my window. I pupils trailed to where my hand laid. Even though I couldn’t see it, I remembered how many times I would always go outside in the morning just to see the break of dawn.

“It must be hard, ne?”

All I did was continue to stare into the window that I didn’t see yet could imagine.

“It must be hard…to never see the outside that you grew up in. You must have missed it a lot. I know that I would.”

I continued to look impassive, oblivious to his world. In reality, my mind absorbed every word he said. How would he know this pain? How could he know what I feel?

He never yearned for love. He never pretended to be somebody he wasn’t just to have friends. He never lost somebody precious to him…like I did. Did he?

Abstractedly, I whispered words that I knew I would soon regret.

“How would you know? How would you know that I’m not just a spoiled brat who is just mourning because she couldn’t be a player anymore and break more hearts? And if you did know, why would you care?” My string of words came out. I didn’t capture what I said. I just had to release all of my emotions out. Pour my agony out for someone to take my burden for me. I was truly selfish. I waited for yelling. For the heated argument. For the time where he left me all alone to fend for myself. At least then, I would know what kind of monster he was. It never came.

“You’re right. I’ve never felt alone. I don’t know what your feelings are, but I do know that you aren’t a spoiled brat. I could feel it within you. All the pent up anger, sorrow, and misery. Even though I don’t feel your pain, let me take half of it off.”

He didn’t know what he was asking for. Words exploded from my mouth out of pure anger.

“You don’t know anything! You’re a fool. Do you know what I lived through all of my life?” My eyes watered and my eyes turned glossy with a layer of pain. Refusing to give up and show weakness, I whipped my head around and the tears fell freely. Shamefully, I bowed down my head, my hands clutching the blankets until my knuckles turned white and fingers turn numb.

A cold, frightening voice packed with apathy was sent my way. He spat in a way that made me doubt his caring words just a while ago.

“Fine. Do you think that you are the only one who suffers? You’re wrong.” My body felt like a dozen needles stabbed at me. It hurts, but my face stuck into its prideful façade. I must be crazy to believe that he would understand. I heard my door slam shut.

I was insane to think he was different.

But if this is what being insane feels like, I wish to always be crazy.

It’s an addicting disease that I feel is part of me.

Reviews

[momo pt 2]

Well I wasn't going to go anywhere near your stories, but I didn't want to make you mad.. So I forced myself to start reading. About a paragraph into the prologue I started feeling less forced, and by the end of the prologue I wanted more. So I read more. And more. And here I am finishing this chapter, satisfied (for now lol) Anyways very enjoyable, it kept the reader wanting to read more. The imagery was played out beautifully, the emotion was easy to read, the only thing was some grammatical errors with past and present tense, but other than that very well written!