Chapter 2

            Leaning within an inch or so from his chest, I could hear a steady heartbeat. It was a consoling sound that I wish was always there. I knew it wouldn't happen. The slow placid breathing was like the sound of the wind calling out for me. I wish that it would be there for me when I need it. I knew it wouldn't happen.

            My lean muscles tensed as I pulled back, cupping my mouth within my two subtle hands. I didn't understand what had happened. I haven't laughed in years. How can this stranger do this to me? Fingertips slowly caressed my arm, snapping me out of my thoughts. My eyes widened and with pure instinct, I bolted away, only to trip over something that I couldn't see. I braced myself for the impact of which did not happen. I felt strong arms circle around me, embracing me. Sparks flew within me and a tingling feeling was erupting in my soul. I felt full. It felt so painfully good, but I pulled away.

            I knew that this moment would be too good to last. He knew that it was his job to be kind and welcoming to me. I'm just another burden. When I'm done with rehab, he'd probably just leave me without a care. Leaving me alone. It's easier to always be alone than have somebody, only to have them leave again. I'd be in pure light and then confronted by frightening darkness, facing the facts.

            A tense feeling surrounded between me and the boy of which was one year older than me. I couldn't speak, afraid of my voice cracking in fear. Fear of the obvious. Silence filled the room as none of us dared to utter a single word. After a couple of more terribly awkward minutes, I heard the boy breathe a sigh beside me.

            "I guess I'll show you to your room..." he muttered under his breath. I could still hear it, though. I could tell that he was beyond agitated. Who would want a burden on their shoulders? I was captivated with guilt. It was my fault that this boy had to suffer.

            Slowly, I listened attentively at the footsteps that were leading me. My hand was against the wall, guiding me. I could tell that we were in an empty hallway because my stumbling steps echoed in an almost eerie way. It was scary. I didn't know why. I fumbled as I reached for more walls which led to more hallways. Irritated with my progress, I cried anxiously, yet timidly, to the boy.

            "Can...can you at least help me?" the words forced their way past my throat. I swear that it talked on its own. I didn't want to sound desperate. It was a weakness. I didn't know if he heard me or not. It didn't matter. He probably wouldn't help a nuisance like me anyways.

            Suddenly, I felt his hand grasping mine. It surprised me, for it was a warm and inviting feeling. I don't understand how a stranger could do this to me. I've never felt this way before. I felt like I could fly, soar through the sky. I felt...invincible.

            A small smile graced my lips as I enjoyed this heavenly feeling. It felt like the hands of an angel, intertwined with mine. Heavenly was still an understatement. I followed him like a lost puppy. It felt a little degrading to me, but my pride was second right now.

            Much to my displeasure, I felt him lightly push me into a room. His hand left a tingling feeling within me even as it left my skin.

            "Mason." A dull tone rang out in my ears. It wasn't the musical tone that I heard before. A pang of regret lodged within me, scarring me. I took his soul's sonata away. I was the cause of this awkwardness. If only I didn't...wait, what was I thinking? I definitely did the right thing. It would only hurt me to be with him...right?

            I tilted my head to the side. Mason?

            "That's my name. Mason." A snorting sound came from his mouth full of pride and egoism. "Call to me when you need me."

            Before I knew what he said, he was already gone. His receding footsteps faded away as they went farther and farther away. I strained my ears, yet I couldn't hear him anymore.

            I reached to the side only to fumble once again as I almost missed the wall. Growling in frustration, I dragged my feet against the room's boundaries.  Sliding my foot slowly.

            I felt a round metal handle dancing in front of me. Unsure, I pulled the thing. I listened. I heard a small click, and I knew I found the light. But what difference does it make if I can't see the beauty of it? I was too lost in the darkness. I was too far away to be saved once more. That was just how far I had fallen.

            My hands laid themselves on fluffy silk. Sliding them across, I was content with my finding. A bed. Finally, some rest.

            I swung my legs over and laid my unrested body onto the safe haven. My body sunk into the luxury. I closed my eyes, unable to wait to be taken away from my worries.

            I tossed and turned. I've never felt so...empty. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't escape to the blissful state of mind. I felt cold. So cold. I was missing the way his arms embraced me. Missing the sparks that flew. Missing the feeling of obliviousness to everything around me. But mostly, I missed the divine love that laced his caring voice.

I miss him...

It was all I could think the moment. My body was too cold and my heart thudded. I shivered at the loss of his body warmth. What made me feel this way? I refuse to admit it. I refuse to say it. I refuse to be in love.

It wasn't possible. Wouldn't my heart learn that it would only break it further?

"Mason..." His name comforted me. It caressed my soul in a gentle feathery touch. His name felt like a melody that's playing over and over in my broken mind. It was melting me from the inside. It was killing me to be away from him.

It killed me...how much I missed him.

How much I begged for his touch.

How much I wanted him.

How much I loved him, but my mind knew that he...would never be able to love me back...