Loss

This is a piece about the Agony one faces after losing a loved one

 

Some night alone she thinks of him

Those same nights she wishes he was close

Other nights she is conflicted with her own thoughts

She looks up to the star he once said belonged to her

She looks out the open window, trying to catch a glimpse of him

She curls up in her bed, with loneliness as company

She weeps as her tears overwhelm her eyes

Tear drops roll down her chicks like an uncontainable stream

She goes through the night in suffering,

As she realizes he will not be returning

 

Her morning bring no joy,

As she wakes in amazement of a new day, for she thought death was what took place in the night

She crawls out of bed with more disappointment

She understands not why her beloved has been taken away soon after their paths had crossed

She wants to follow him to the place he has departed,

But she seems not to know the road he took, let alone the address he now calls home

 

She looks out to the sunrise and his face is all she sees

She thinks of the last time he smiled at her and kissed her lips

She thinks of the last thing she said to him

She recalls how he sat on the edge of the bed while she slept

And she just manage to draw a smile,

Slowly her smile turns into a frown, as she remembers the time she sat at the edge of their bed while he slept, not knowing he was gone

She now feels the pain she felt the morning his eyes did not wake and how undisturbed he seemed

 

“Come back to me the one I love”, she proclaims

“Come back to me the one I have lost”, she cries out

Our time has been cut too short

Our love has been stolen from us

God why do you take away the one you brought for me?

What shall I do now? She asks

When will happiness knock on my door once more?

 

by Odette Ntambara

 

Reviews

[Aaron Parker]

I loved how the poem could be read as having on or two protagonists. I really liked the language, but you could definitely use some more vivid and appealing words in some cases. There were a few typos which really took away from the flow, kind of shocking! Maybe look over the poem more carefully. Other than these few things, it's a really nice work.

[Odette Ntambara]

Thanks Aaron those are some really good pointers.. Will definitely review and make those changes .thanks again

[Aaron Parker]

No problem! You're a wonderful poet! Glad to be of any help! It's my honor.