Cold

Inside.  That's where it all began.
You dragged me through it all.
Criss-crossing hazards lying away,
You gave me the right to call.

 

Now the stars shiver at my glance,
Constantly shifting throughout
And I know it's not just me.
There's always that hint of doubt.

 

Collapsing caverns cap killings,
There never seems to be an end.
We all just live in the same loop,
Contentedly fighting the Godsend.

 

Brass fillings hurtle around,
We still glance up at the sun and wonder how,
Yet it still has that same number,
And the cold still in a deep bow.

 

Shivering, shaking, shallow shells,
Our bodies have mirrored our flaws.
It's always enveloping you, distinguishing,
Stripping our goods and consuming them raw.

 

It's become your life,
It's all you think, say, and know,
Trust me, I've seen it before
And the toll of the cold always shows.

 

The frost heats,
You try to be bold
And you embrace the freezing,
Yet, it's still, so, cold...

Reviews

[Shy Girl]

Oooo...that was intense. Yes I liked that piece of writing very much. It sounds as though you're upset that somebody can't see what they are doing to themselves.. can't see how their actions to themselves and others creates the ice cube they encase themselves in.. like a bubble.. but instead of just popping quick and easy.. the cube cracks and splinters slowly...shattering it's insides as the outside crumbles away a sliver at a time. (my head is in the dark corner again me thinks ;) I like this one very much... :)

[Odayin]

Thanks Wendy!:)
I was worried something happened to you...haven't heard from you in a while haha. I like your understanding and your "dark corner" of mind

[Shy Girl]

I'm around...kinda. I'll read more later...that one just stood out at me :)

[Muse]

The best part:

Shivering, shaking, shallow shells,
Our bodies have mirrored our flaws.
It's always enveloping you, distinguishing,
Stripping our goods and consuming them raw.

Yes my dear I shivered all the way through this. A stellar write indeed! High scores.

Muse

[Odayin]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it:)

[Sophie]

Chilling poem (heh heh, see what I did there?) I really liked this, especially the line: "Now the stars shiver at my glance," I stopped and reread that a few times because i liked it so much. Great poem :)

[Odayin]

Thank you Sophie!:)

[Sunshadow Coyote]

The best yet......makes me think how far will i go? for anything...dreams...love... friendship...it reminds me of the connections humans have with each other....often not looked at twice..when really there the most important...sometimes even more then the connections within themselves...Thank You

[Odayin]

Thank you for your response and shared understanding