Maybe Let it Be

She looked up at the sky through her window. Usually, at this moment in time, she would be with her family, gathered in her sitting room gazing at the beautiful Christmas tree she and her mom had decorated the previous week. She could still barely hear and sense the smiling, and laughing, and the smell of ginger and pine needles.

But not this year. Never again. The hurt of what had occurred at last year's Christmas hurt her too much; too much to want to celebrate it again.

She had barely made it out of high school, and skipped college. She had spent her college savings on an crappy duplex on the other side of town. She hadn't put up a Christmas tree, nor did she buy any gifts for any friends or family, and wasn't going to even let-alone see her family.

She looked behind her, the small living room, where she could have possibly, easily squished a Christmas tree in here. But alas, she had overstuffed the house with mismatching and unattractive furniture that she could care less about as an excuse to not put up a Christmas tree. Not that anyone even knew where she was.

Her grandma. She had died. Last year on Christmas Eve. It was only a tragedy that to most of her family was not sudden, she had severe tuberculosis and was nearing her late seventies. There wasn't much anyone could have done, but no.

Anger and frustration filled her eyes, watering them at the edges. She shook her head. Someone could have done something; anyone could have.

"Aren't you gonna friggin' do something? She's on the ground for Christ sake!"

Memories flooded her brain like an unwanted tidal wave. The voices and memories in her head were so surreal; she felt as if she was there again...all over again.

"Honey, calm down."

Her mother. Her mother had the softest voice in the universe, she was a very quiet woman, very much like her grandmother. Not like me though, the girl thought. The girl had a loud and sharp voice, unlike a quiet and soft one liker her mother and grandmother had.

She looked out the window again, and thought about how she had left everything behind. Her family, the holiday, and...

She stopped for a long moment. She thought of her grandmother, and what she had caused that was making her do what she was doing. She somehow took a deep thoughtful glance at herself, but not with a mirror of any kind.

She grabbed her car keys suddenly, almost as if she was possessed, and left. To go see her family.

Author's Note

I give any readers full credit if they understand the moral of my Christmas tale. Merry Christmas everyone!