Something

This is something I basically wrote about all my current problems in life. You probably won't get any of it. Actually, even if you were my friend and knew me, you still wouldn't get it. Enjoy!

I like looking at stars, for they are quite fine. But yet they seem too bright, and they're just wasting my time.

I'll be blowing out my candles somewhere very faraway. It's a bitter sweet feeling knowing you'll miss whats on important for your special day.

I watched some movie, and I had a fantasy or too. It was a little strange, because it was mainly about you.

I look up at my cloud and tell it my dreams. Does having a friend mean to lose another one it seems?

I don't believe Jesus walked on water, nor that God can rule or conquer. I don't believe in much of anything of itself, but only in fate, flames, and hell. Everything happens for a reason that I can't explain, its weird how it works, and its not anything God can maintain.

I like being fascinated by a small joke, but other days I want to drop dead and croak. The bricks of that building that I will soon stand, makes me worried, for I do not understand.

I wish I could have a happier life, for I would save out on sadness, smiles, and strife. But I soon realize I wouldn't be the same, I wouldn't be me, I wouldn't be different, weak, or tame.

When I think of your face, I want you to cripple and die. You walk through those bricks like you're on top of the world, but its really yourself you're walking on, not the world. I want you to know, you're very smart, but not by acting like the dumbass you are. The trees you speak of, that they have there, you say others call them fun.

When you finally give up and come crawling back to me, which will never happen, but I still must wait and see. I hope when you do, you quickly realize how stupid you were and how you outlived all those lies.

As for my closer cloud that's not too far behind me, I want it to know that I feel quite strange when I talk to you. It's not a feeling of love nor lust, but a feeling of misfitting and trust. But there is an uncomfortable sensation I feel within a sense, I wonder if I'm crazy or maybe too intense. I want you to know, I'm always there, your cloud above you, listening to all your thoughts of despair.

As for my her, she brings me quite down. My her can be bitchy, and always is wearing a frown. She tells me what to do, through screams and mistrust, for I do not believe, so why make such a fuss? It's hard to convince to my him, that I do not believe in heaven, hell, or He. It hurts quite a lot, not knowing where you want to be. Considering now, I'm being harassed, to attend Sunday mass. I want to be Buddhist, away from the world. To find Nirvana, and to heal myself. I dislike religion, I dislike it a lot, maybe I'll be Atheist, and I'll be spared from hell to rot.

My never ending problems appear so often, their hidden meanings so hard to see. But something will happen, and I'm unsure of when, but when it does I will smile real big right then.

Reviews

[Kayla Etreni]

this tells alot about life itsself. i love this, as to all your writtings!