End Me (Sadomasochistic Pleasure)

A short story I wrote in honor of my first boyfriend, the first one who broke me beyond belief...A small fantasy, but ingrained in my soul all the same.

I can see you lurking there, perilously oblivious in the captivating lures of the shadows. A grim, cataclysmic smirk contorts upon the depths of your features. You want it to end, that much I can see. End me… That I’d rather than anything else…

My heart pounds, stutters conspicuously under its translucent sheath, cringing helplessly under the grasp of your reach. You smile psychotically, taking my face into your entwining, forceful embrace. Should this be so…shockingly painless, an actual sadomasochistic pleasure… Or have I perhaps lost the shred of sanity I managed to maintain in my useless, chaotic existence? I should tell you to stop, to beseech you let go, but I cannot speak them.

My throat contracted…unable to sputter a mere syllable… The words manage to find my mouth, despite the only thing I can inquire is “W…why?”

You laugh mirthlessly…at me, like you never even cared… Why? You’ve lost your warmth…and I’ve lost my reason for existing… You know what I desire… You know that I shall not oppose if you go with your baser urges. Why not give into temptation? Sinking… You release me from the frigidness of your embrace, rendering me breathless. Your breath lingers upon the contours of my features…I’m unable to forget how this used to feel… Us…you and me, so helplessly surreal.

Did you miss me at all? Or was that just an errant thought that I procured to save me from the depths and horrendous, excruciating agony that would have been mine if I thought you hadn’t needed me? You cringe…under it all you possess the truth I possess, that our souls are intertwined…even now, after this all.

Your hand caresses the planes of my face, and I shudder in the remembrance of you…..of us… I wish, though, that you could just tell me you despise my very breath, that I don’t deserve to live, and that you wish I had never crossed your path…that I had never even existed. End me… You mutter something under your incandescently smooth breath… Your lips caress the bare skin of my cheekbone, my jaw line, and you nibble a path oh so euphorically, sending me hurtling into the grasp of undeniable Ecstasy… You pause at my neck, throatily chuckling, elongating your fangs, sinking them ever so sensually into me, knowing that I never could suppress a moan…and I never shall be able to. Please do not toy with my emotions, this I beseech.

“What’s the matter?” you inquire…the first words you’ve spoken to me at all, might I add.

“N…n…nothing. At all. I’m fine,” I manage to lie.

You smile, calling me out, as you had always been able to. My blood cascades down the translucent, sensually-pleasing corners of your full, sensual, carnal lips, just making me beseech for your nearness once more. My blood curdles, and I am once again taken captive to my carnal desires. You sadistically smile at me, knowing I am unable to resist your masochism. You’re not you…not fully. Not who you used to be. Is this all you wanted, all you coveted? I shudder in remembrance of our last bitter words…the last time we had been in each other’s presence.

“You’re just a fledgling…and I am a different creature, not a vampire, not a wolf…you could never be for me, as you are just a child, my young one, my dear…my…v…vampire…” you managed to stutter.

Tears flew down the corner of my eye, unable to be concealed. Oh, the feeling of a blade to the bare surface of my translucent skin…breaking, ripping apart like my heart had at that very moment.

“I…can….see if you cannot bear to forgive me, my love…” your voice broke.

“I…cannot bear to live without you…who cares about our rules? Love is everything, means everything…” I wept, my heart searing as though acid had pooled at its surface, tearing it more apart than your words already had.

Your lips met the corner of my forehead, and you walked away, as I fell into the darkest oblivion my soul had ever known… My end… Would you just torture me again? Or was it sincere this time? A tear sped uncontrollably down the corner of my eye, and you swept it off with the corner of your hand, like you always had in the past.

“I came here…so I could see you one last time,” you say.

“Then, why are you biting me and kissing me? Making it harder than it already is? I love you as well, but I don’t see why we should make it harder than it already is…” I scornfully reply.

“Because I miss you, okay? I just miss you. As I know you missed me…” you charmingly smiled.

You always did have the charm that could make the ladies swoon.

“I did miss you, but you left me…you murdered me when you left, slaughtered my soul, as well as the thing that I had called Sanity. When you were gone, every day I perished a little bit more inside…nothing could help me…go back,” I muttered.

“Go back? I know I must leave you once more after this, but why can’t we just enjoy the last time we have with each other?” you inquire.

“Because…it wouldn’t have to be the last time if you didn’t think that way, because I didn’t want to think that way, and I don’t…” I retorted.

“I am the leader of my family…I couldn’t leave them…ever. I have to be there, and it just wasn’t meant for us. We were meant to fall for each other, but I still love her as well,” you painfully admitted.

“If that’s what your heart feels…” I mournfully smiled, trying to hide my inner beast, one that was ripping, grinding its way to the surface, captivating my soul…something that I did not want to occur.

“I’ll see you again…” you mutter as you walk away…

“Call me when you feel as if you are ready to converse with me…when we can speak…” I murmured.

And…I know you heard me, because you have sensitive hearing. You smiled at me once more, smirking coyly…wryly, the smirk you knew I could never resist.

“I love you, my love…my fledgling,” you smiled. Once again, a sadomasochistic pleasure, one that just wasn’t meant to be…

End me.......................

Author's Note

Again, only your honest opinion. :) Thank you, for even taking the time to read this...for just by reading this, you have made some of my eternal dreams possible.

Reviews

[A.V. Bozic]

Ok, you asked. Too many... Sometimes they can be effective, overused it fragments the prose and makes it seem that you ran out of words.
At some point you have to give the poetry a break and tell the story. Put down the metaphores etc. once in a while and describe the setting, get in the characters head. Don't be afraid of a little plain languge. It helps highlight the more flamboyant prose.
The time shifts are a nice device, but you overdo them and it gets hard to follow. Remember, all of this is clear to you, but not to others, give me a way to track your action so it makes sense.

[A.V. Bozic]

Ok, well. As a start, my first thought is that this is compelling. You write with emotion and flare. Your prose are poetic and that is charming, to a point.
Being new here, I hesitate to say more. If you actually want some critique that may be useful, let me know.
On some sites, people get all wierd if you actually tell then stuff.