Chapter 2 - The Intruder

My hand was on my knife before my eyes were even open. As I tried to shake the sleepy fog from my head, I automatically turned in a circle, checking for danger behind my back. I heard heavy breathing from behind me as the other four, each holding a weapon, moved in toward me so we were back to back in a circle. That way we had eyes everywhere.

I wrestled my knife from its sheath and hit my leg sharply with the flat of the blade, trying to snap out of my half awake, half asleep state. Then we stood silently in the middle of the clearing, senses as alert as possible two minutes after being woken from a restful sleep. I could hear nothing but the birds sweetly whistling in the trees. Trees. All of a sudden I realized what the noise was.

“That was the alarm for the northern corner.” Quinn said just as I was opening my mouth to say the same. In a flash, she was darting nimbly toward the forest wall surrounding our hideout. Once I realized what she was doing, I started after her. Three pairs of feet followed me.

Quinn was standing in front of a tall tree with a rope hanging down from a large branch. At the end of the rope was a bag full of pots and pans and bits of armor, which had fallen from the tree and was responsible for the noise we had heard. We all stood there silently, knowing what this meant but taking time for it to sink into our minds.

It was all part of a complex alarm system that Quinn had invented about a year ago. We were hidden so deep in the woods, miles from the road, that is was a very rare occurrence when someone who wasn’t part of the band wandered close enough to Foresthenge to cause us any concern. Because of that, and the fact that so few of us lived at camp full time, we didn’t have anyone keeping watch at night or through all hours of the day. The alarm system was a maze of ropes and pulleys running through the trees that triggered the release of a bag full of loud, clanging metal, alerting us when someone was too close. If someone had triggered the alarm on the northern corner, that meant they were about a mile away, too far to hear the noise that had so rudely awakened us. They would have no idea they had released the alarm by stepping on one of the ropes carefully strung throughout the woods. 

I whirled toward the supply tent. “Move fast,” I barked at my little army. “Bring light weapons and spyglass. We’ll travel by foot, horses will make too much noise. Gail, make sure all fires are out and the camp is secured. Quinn, look here.”

She turned her little pixie face toward me.

“I need you to run ahead and scout for us. Be quiet and quick. As soon as you know how many people we’re dealing with and where they are heading, come back here. Do you understand?”

She nodded quickly, gave me a salute and smile, then disappeared into the trees.

Once in the supply tent, I exchanged my leather breeches that I had worn on the raid yesterday for a cloth pair that was easier to move in. I slipped on a dark green tunic that reached to my knees, then tested to see if the side slits made it possible to move my legs freely. I reached down with my knife and tore deeper slits into the side. Much better. I grabbed a rough strip of cloth and knotted it securely around my waist. Since my pouch was in the woods concealing a very special dagger, I had to dig around in the back of the tent until I found another one. Sturdy leather, even better than my own. I knotted it around my waist and  tucked a small spyglass, a wooden whistle, and a compass inside. My knife went in its case, and I strapped it securely around my leg, hidden by the tunic. The knife was only my backup. I went to the armory to get my weapon of choice. In a corner sat my bow, graceful and strong. I strapped a quiver of arrows on my back and slipped my bow over my shoulder.  My gloves and my boots were sitting by the fire from last night.  I laced my boots up the side and over the legs of my breeches. I pulled on my leather gloves and then reached over my back and yanked my wrist gauntlets out of the quiver where I had stuffed them. I was struggling to lace them up over my gloves using one hand and my teeth when Gail came jogging over. She smiled and shook her head, then reached down and tightly laced the leather over my wrists. I nodded thanks at her. Gail and I spoke best without using words.

In a few minutes we were all sitting around the empty firepit, full of energy like horses straining at the bit, just waiting for Quinn to return and give us the command to go. Kaitrinn’s fiery curls, Jayn’s golden silk, and Gail’s straw colored hair were braided and knotted up with leather laces, and they were wearing  various colored tunics and breeches just like mine. Gail had a long sword hanging from a sheath by her waist, and I could see a dagger peeking out from under the hem of her pitch black tunic. Knowing Gail, she probably had at least one other knife tucked into her boot. Jayn had multiple small knives that appeared unthreatening " until she started throwing them with remarkable accuracy.  Kaitrinn appeared unarmed, but she had a talent for making weapons appear from seemingly nowhere.

It seemed like hours before Quinn returned.  As soon as she burst through the hedge, we sprang into action. Jayn began to knot up Quinn’s hair, Kaitrinn stripped off her light, cotton shirt and yanked a durable tunic over her head, and Gail strapped a sheath around her leg. I tried to maintain eye contact with Quinn as the other three bustled around her.

“Just one,” she said, reaching out her hand without looking to accept the gloves Gail was handing her. “A man. Young. Can’t be more than 18. Rather tall, slightly pale. Seems out of place, obviously not  familiar with the woods. Can’t tell if he has a weapon.”  Her face changed. “I have no idea why he’s here, Gwyneth.”

I nodded slowly, took a few deep breaths, and finally managed a word. “Alright.” I said. “Um, alright. This is….unusual.” Why would a well-dressed young man wander alone this far into the  woods?!  It was strange, and I resolved to be extra cautious.

“Code Gavin.” I said, shaking aside my concerns and winking playfully at the girls. It was a code that we named after Gavin, our very charming friend who was our main contact with the smugglers who would buy our stolen goods. It simply meant that we would go undercover as men, like we did on all our raids. It was always a tough decision whether to go “Gavin” or “Eleanor” " dressing the same way that we did on our raids meant that we could potentially be recognized by the sheriff or his men, but I was taking a chance that this boy didn’t know who we are, and a bunch of girls living in the woods would make a bigger impression in his mind than a small band of men, since it wasn’t uncommon for small bands of bandits to roam the woods.

In a matter of minutes we were sufficiently disguised; since our normal attire wasn’t exactly feminine to begin with it was a simple matter of tucking our hair up into caps and loosening our tunics. We started out stealthily through the forest. Soon we were close enough to see the trespasser. He was walking down an old, almost grown over road that used to run through the forest. Without a word we spread out on both sides of the road a few hundred feet from where he was walking. Hidden safely behind two thorny bushes, I quietly lifted my bow off of my shoulder and fit it with an arrow, than rested it on the ground in front of me with one of my hands resting on the wood. I then took time to study the boy.

He was walking quickly, and you could tell he was nervous by the way his eyes darted around, scanning the sides of the road for danger. As he walked closer I saw he held a small knife in his right hand. He was fidgeting with it, adjusting and readjusting his grip on the handle nervously. I had a feeling that it wouldn’t do him much good if he was being attacked. His clothes were simple but of good quality, and he was wearing leather shoes.  He was taller and slimmer than Quinn described him, but it was clear didn’t get his slim build from doing physical work; his hands were soft and not calloused. The closer he got, the better I could see his face. He had yellow hair that was hard to miss, but other than that his face was….normal. Except for two gray-blue eyes that looked startlingly bright and dark and shallow and deep at the same time.

Then he turned his eyes away again and I snapped into action. We had to stop him when he got to….exactly….there! As soon as he was standing directly under large tree branch, I stepped out of the bush and into the road. The young man froze, and I could see fear flicker through his eyes. I think I froze too, for a minute, when his startling eyes locked with my own. I felt a weird chill down my back, which I got rid of by shifting my gaze to a spot above his head. I whistled shrilly through my teeth and a small figure dropped down from a tree to stand behind him.

He spun around when he heard Quinn hit the ground, and when he turned back to me I was flanked on either side by Kaitrinn and Gail. Gail, especially when she’s disguised as a man, is someone you don’t want to mess with. One look at her broad shoulders and he was floundering around for his knife, finally getting a two handed grip on the short handle. He stood there trying to look like he knew how to use the weapon in his hands, but he was practically shaking with fear.

I almost felt bad for him. He was no younger than I and obviously uncomfortable in the woods to begin with. Standing there nervously working his mouth and gripping his knife with white knuckles, he seemed like a small child.

“State your business,” I said quietly, lowering my bow, which I had been aiming toward him, back down to my side.

Now that an arrow was no longer pointing in his direction, the boy took a deep breath and his shoulders relaxed. He took a moment to compose himself, and when he answered his voice was admirably clear, with only the hint of a tremor. “I’m just passing through. What business is it of yours?”

I raised my eyebrow. “Through this part of the woods? How interesting. It’s a scenic route, I suppose?”

I could see the confusion on his face, and then he hid his emotion and gave a quick nod. No one moved. He looked around, and then gathered himself and began to walk forward. I watched in shock as he seemed to will his body to keep moving past the people and weapons surrounding him. He would have walked, head high but legs shaking, straight past us if Kaitrinn hadn’t whipped out a dagger from under her tunic.

“Put the knife down.” She said simply.

He stopped walking. I could see the war raging in the boy’s head as he realized we weren’t going to let him pass and tried to decide whether to drop his only weapon.

“We’re not going to hurt you.” Kaitrinn said. She looked into his eyes and I wondered if they were having the same effect on her as they did on me. “I promise.”

“I don’t have anything with me.” He said hesitantly. “No money.”

“We’re not going to rob you, you fool!” Gail broke through the silence and shook her head in disgust. “We just want to know what you’re doing " the REAL truth.” She looked at him hard with stony eyes.

The boy slowly slipped the knife into the sheath around his waist. Empty handed, he spoke. But it was me he spoke to, not Gail.

“I’m searching for someone.” He said. “Actually, more than one person. The only people who can help me.”

“Who are you looking for?” Kaitrinn asked.

As he turned to answer, his hand went up to his sheath. I immediately tensed the moment his skin brushed the weapon, as if he had triggered an electrical shock. Everything else happened in the blink of an eye. A knife came flying through the air and sliced through a hidden rope attached to the tree limb we had stopped the boy under. A rope net dropped down on the young man’s head, trapping him. We all watched as the knife that had been flashing through the air lodged itself in a tree behind the net with a loud, dull, thump.

“Remove the sheath and place it on the ground.” Jayn’s voice was all business as she swung to the ground from the tree she had been perching in. The boy just stood staring at her throwing knife, sunk up to its hilt in wood. His gaze went from the knife, to the tall, willowy person who stood before him, and back to the knife as he put the pieces slowly together in his mind.

“Remove the knife.” Jayn said firmly.

“You.” Was all he said, his face frozen with shock. “I’m looking for you.”

Author's Note

Okay, this chapter is really rough. Just a first draft. I was absolutely stunned and thrilled at all the response for the last chapter! Thank you - and please give more feedback :)

Reviews

[DaughterNature]

Loving the idea! I definitely agree with Taylorwebb that the descriptions will need a lot of refining, but I'm glad that you have everything so well pictured in your head. Remember to keep your characters' personalities distinct throughout, and the voice of your first-person narrator should sound like her and not like a writer -- if she's a woman of action, make her think and speak that way. Also, be sure that all of your language and details match with the era you are portraying ("Code Gavin" sounds a little too modern if you are talking about Robin Hood-era). My final suggestion is that you branch out and do some research about other weapon choices -- swords, bows, and daggers are nice, but everyone uses them in their writing -- what else could these girls use (bolas, mace, spear)? Excited to read more!

[Taylorgwebb]

An excellent addition to your previous work!
You seem to indulge yourself with description, especially the lengthy paragraph detailing the attire of the main character. Try instead to mention these thing in-situ so that you can avoid having bulky descriptive sections in the midst of an otherwise fast-paced read.
You may notice (and enjoy) in other fiction where very long, flowery descriptions are made, sometimes entire chapters are devoted to this kind of thing. But the overall flow of the chapter is a little like music, you cannot abruptly change key or rhythm without a segue, and the various parts need to maintain a certain ratio of pace in order to stay consistent. With such an acton-packed writing style you cannot afford to insert blocks of description. Whether you slow the writing down or speed up the description is up to you, but I would suggest smoothing out the wrinkles.
I would also like to know more about the other characters, their development seems slow and they have not yet become distinct enough from each other, though their fighting styles did a fair job in that regard. Anyway, I look forward to getting to know them.
And that's my two cents! I really enjoyed it, looking forward to more.

[OctoberBaby]

Thank you :)
Yes, I do indulge myself in descriptions ;) I see everything so clearly in my head, and I just want to write it down! I am going to have to focus on my pacing as I continue to write. I'm trying to finish chapter 3 right now, then I'm going to come back and put some more time into this chapter.
Thanks!

[Hatchling]

Love it!!!!!!!! Keep the good work

[OctoberBaby]

Thank you :)