"I have a problem."

 

‘I have a problem.’

 

I read the screen again, just to make sure. It seems like something Salem would do; send me a text message like that at 12:00 a.m.

No explanation. No reason. No nothing. Nudda.

I felt a sort of motherly sense of fear. Which didn’t make much sense at all since he was; technically, my ex. Salem and I had dated five years old. We were both thirteen, the summer before we went into the eighth grade. But that was a long time ago, and it seemed, to me, that he was something like a brother.

My first guess was that he was drunk and needed a ride home. Why would he call me then? He knew I could drive, and my older sister surely wouldn’t agree to lie to help out anyone but herself.

 

‘Are u drunk?’

 

            I typed quickly and quietly. Praying his parents wouldn’t have to come get him. He had a pretty bad black eye and a broken leg the last time that happened.

Part of me wanted to scream at him for repeating his mistake, but I knew that if he was drunk it was because he saw absolutely no other way out except for that or suicide. He had a lot of pride that he didn’t take very lightly. He had only been drunk twice before. The first time was when he had brought home a ‘C’ on his report card and his mother had told him she was ashamed to call him her son and his father had kicked him out…but only for two days.

The second time was when he had lost his virginity, something he took extremely serious. She had dumped him shortly after. The w***e had made a bet with her friends. Salem was a gorgeous guy, and girls had always been disappointed when he didn’t put the moves on them by the second date. He could turn girls down, but really, how much self-control do you think a guy has?

My phone made a quiet beeping noise as the second text message was received.

 

 ‘No.’ was all it said. That was a relief.

 

‘Then what is it?’

 

            I had to urge to call him, but I knew he was texting me for a reason. He had done something he was ashamed of, that was the only thing I could be sure. It took him awhile to respond. I could almost see him. Sitting in the corner at a party. Typing. Then erasing. Typing. Erasing again. He didn’t want me to be ashamed of him either.

 

‘I made out with Lily…’

 

            In any other situation I would have laughed my head off and thanked the lucky stars. But he was hurting.

            Salem had been dating this chick, Cadi, for two years now. She treated him like trash, but love is blind. I had even seen her cheat on him, but Salem was in denial. He always was. Salem was head over heals for her. He loved Cadi with all his heart and to him, Cadi could do no wrong. She was his angel. When in reality…she was a demon. She was just another shadow in his life, telling him he was worthless. Telling him he wouldn’t accomplish anything.

            I knew things about Salem that no one else did. I knew that he felt he needed the people in his life, his parents and his psychotic girlfriend, no matter how bad they treated him. He thought he couldn’t make it on his own. He thought that it didn’t matter because there was no one else in the world that would treat him better anyway…except for me and his history teacher.

 

‘What are u going 2 do?’

           

What Salem needed to understand, was that there was no road marked “Happiness”. No directions ‘turn left and go straight till you find contentment’.

            Salem wouldn’t be able to do anything if he didn’t believe that he deserved better than the life he was handed.

            He told me once that his biggest fear was not being able to live before he died.

But what was living, really?

It made me so frustrated that he seemed so easily defeated, so ready to give up on the world. Why did the people around him have to make him feel so worthless?!

Salem had such a melancholy presence and it haunted me.

 

‘Idk’ he answered me question.

 

Was I the only person who really cared about him?

“Salem,” I had told him the last time his parents had given him a bloody nose, “What you have to do is put all the people that make you unhappy in one room, and shout ‘Leave me the hell alone you mother fuckers!’” He smiled at this,

 

‘Do you even like Lily?’ I asked, hoping the answer was yes.

 

“And if they don’t leave then you walk the f**k out that door and never look back, you hear me?”

He had shaken his head. No. He would never do that.

Fear was keeping him from doing that. Fear was keeping him from confidence. Fear was keeping him from himself.

“Salem,” I said again, “You can't change the things in your life that you were born with; you can only make yourself realize you aren’t happy with the way things are. You could be miserable for your entire life, but it is not guaranteed that a single person would ever realize, much less understand the meaning behind your saddened state. All that you can ever hope to do is make yourself happy with whom you are. And once you’ve done that, what can you ever wish to accomplish that is greater?”

 

‘Idk. Do u think Cadi will freak?’

 

I sighed and closed my phone.

 

Reviews

[Kemari Blue]

A brief flash into such a common scenario of the heart. This was written with enough passion to have me flashing back to my own blind days of love, wishing I'd had someone to tell me right from wrong, even if I didn't listen. You made my heart ache for Salem, which is something a good writer accomplishes: making his or her audience feel for a character. Even if it was mostly fiction, it was a good read.

xo,
KeMari

[Alegra]

Typing. Then erasing. Typing. Erasing again. He didn�t want me to be ashamed of him either.

I loved this line.
I also really liked the momentum towards the end, the alternating between the present moment text dialogue and the dialogue about putting the people in a room - it works well in creating impact so that when I read the first line I felt that sort 'hush' that I get after reading something that has accessed my emotions.

[Benarsi]

Lovely story...I didn't see that ending coming! :)

B.

[Goddess Della Musica]

wait, is this sort of about *BOY* cheating on me??!?!

[Goddess Della Musica]

i loved it :D t'is all i have to say, it was beauuuutiful. -Brooke

[Crazy Cat Man]

interesting story...... its funny how we can easily communicate with other human beings without ever have to talk to them again... ha ha....its funny to me the texting back and forth...when the two characters could just talk on the phone....now for me text messaging is a way to hide.

[Llysofar]

I like this story, though I wish it had a happier ending, or was left open :-) Could it be part of a longer story?
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