Screeching Silence.

 

Across the oxygen that seems to be keeping this room alive,

You hold out your air of silence like a nun.

Your subtle manner is the hammer;

Pounding my skull into equal pieces.

 

Made like a sandwich.

Just spread grape jelly across my sexual fantasies.

Fill in the cracks of my dark character,

With sugary and sticky goo.

 

It is the raw emotion that keeps this going.

Because you sit, unmoving,

But with your eyes you’re crippling me.

 

Your silence is screaming in my ears.

Open mouthed.

Teeth bearing.

Waking the neighbors after their busy day,

Of being loyal American citizens…

 

The good kind, too.

The kind that is white as pure snow.

Hates welfare,

And has a picture of the flag,

Printed neatly on their welcome mat.

 

So, you’ll have to keep it down, Love.

 

But it isn’t just that.

It’s what is passing from your eyes to mine.

Or what your eyes deceivingly give off,

And mine frantically try to grasp with pale, sweating fingers.

 

Runs through me like liquid.

Chokes me like poison.

 

This curiosity you provoke is deadly.

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

Lots of intriguing images in this one.

"You hold out your air of silence like a nun" - in a self-righteous way, or as a symbol of purity? I can't tell if this is criticism of the person or admiration or neither.

Seems like that 'silence speaks louder than words' proverb could be true in this case.

"So, you'll have to keep it down, Love." - I like the directness of this; it amused me, while at the same time I think it got the message across. Well, the message that I think is within the section about the "loyal American citizens"...they don't get the silence; conventional people are bothered by restrained behaviour? Something along those lines. It disturbs them, as it disturbs your narrator, but in a different way.

I'm chatting crap, but hopefully I'm on the right kind of lines.

There's quite a lot of issues covered in this piece, and I think you've handled the range well; dealing with each casually but not lazily.

Good piece. I like that you're using stanzas lately...not because I want to contain you in tradition haha but because you often have a lot to say, and I think some segmentation is the best way to ensure that the reader absorbs as much of it as possible.

Thanks for posting this.

[Marie]

Again, nicely done.

[JC Fox]

This piece has some interesting visuals of course my favorite part was this little bit
Made like a sandwich.

Just spread grape jelly across my sexual fantasies.

Fill in the cracks of my dark character,

With sugary and sticky goo.

I'm not sure why but I just started giggling like an idiot and I'm sure it wasn't meant to be funny but I just laughed. Good piece