Spiders Feeding.

 

The sparks in your eyes grow fingers.
Each one wrapping around my neck
Sucking the air out of me,
Until I’m dry and shriveled
And panting.

Screams settle around us as thick fog.
…I can’t see past your chest, anyway.

A lighter flickers a few times.
Starting at my core,
Then burning me alive,
One cell at a time.
Ripping me apart
From the very means I came into being.

Backwards birth.

I’m biting the urge,
To crawl inside you
And hide.

Dust rises into the air slowly.
Like a disease creeping.
Spiders feeding.

You clear your throat.
I bite my finger nails.
We glance,
Look away.
The tick of a clock.
Faucet drips in another room.

The intensity can’t be measured,
Inside my chest.
If you chose to open my lips,
It would spread like wildfire.
Burn us all.
Tear us to shreds,
Then devour us whole.
Nothing makes me feel this way.

One last look,
And I’ll
I force my heart into your lungs.
Breathe in my needs.
I’m gentle like machine guns.

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

I might not have viewed this as a compliment without the 'descriptions' hint, but once you point it out, readers can see that your narrator is saying that she's overwhelmed by this other person's presence.
I can't tell exactly whether a sexual act is taking place, or just serious desire, but the descriptions and imagery that you've used are very powerful.

Great last line - cynical/sinister/teasing...i don't know but i like it.
"I'm gentle like machine guns."

p.s.
"Tear us to spreads" (shreds? or wordplay?)

[Z.Silas]

I like this one a lot it seems to get faster and angrier with and underlying sexiness to it.

[Tabitha Kaufman]

This peice was wonderfuly written... I have to say I enjoyed it from beginning to end. Thank you

[Adaora]

I don't think this is sexual...more emotional and mental and all consuming. I completely enjoyed reading it.

[RoseXREJECT]

now THIS was mind-blowing. very intense, i love the lines "You clear your throat.
I bite my finger nails.
We glance,
Look away.
The tick of a clock.
Faucet drips in another room. "...the tension is well conveyed.

absolutely love it.

[Dr. Fuzzyhound]

wow. VERY nice... that's all i really have to say.

[Aaron J. Wald]

I wasn't sure what you meant. I truthfuly am frightened as hell by spiders, so I'm a bit scared if this is a compliment. It seams that this might be... And I'm wondering why you'd reference spiders as a complement, but I'm also Arachniphobic... so I guess the point is lost on a person like me... unless the person is a ruthless killer.

[Hollan Towns]

wowz i like this. its so out there in a really good way. your such an amazing writer.

[Marie]

Loved it. Flowed well, made sense. Thanks for sharing.

[Deranged Kiwi]

Each words seems to have been carefully selected because each carries a certain weight to it. Each word brings an image to my mind and a seems to go straight to the heart. I like this one a lot.

[TL Boehm]

wow. even in love and relationships when strong personalities come together there is that eat or be eaten mentality....to know that you have met your equal or perhaps even your better is unsettling at times - and there is that mix of 'unsettling' and acceptance in this poem - that to me reads like a compliment of sorts. Strong poetry here.